What About Protector?

“I will give you rest from all your enemies.” // 2 Samuel 7:11

Earlier this year, I attended the Blessed is She Fly retreat in Phoenix, and we were asked to identify our unique name for the Lord. Without hesitation, my heart immediately knew: the Lord is my Comforter.

If I took an inventory of my entire story with the Lord and had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be this: through withdrawal and abandonment, I have found refuge in a Love Who does not leave. The Lord has truly been my best friend in all the suffering, and somewhere along the way, I adopted a confidence that there is no heartache He will not console me through.

A few months ago, I was in the chapel and in prayer, I called the Lord, “Comforter” because I had been doing so since the retreat. I heard the Lord gently speak into my heart, “What about Protector?”

I felt so exposed in an instant.

I tried to bring myself to call the Lord, “Protector,” and I could not do it. I liked Comforter better. I liked the familiarity of believing that I actually live quite unprotected, but once I am wounded and discarded, I can trust the Lord will comfort me.

Before the Lord in prayer, I confessed to the Lord all that I felt unprotected from, and how exhausted I was from the belief that I had to be my own protector.

Sister, so often, because of our own history with disappointment, you and I begin to live out of an assumption that the Lord will not offer us protection and security. As I allow today’s reading to wash over me, I feel my grip begin to loosen, and my jaw unlocks, as I remember the promise.

The Lord wants to offer me rest from my enemies.

Once we allow Him to soften our tendencies to self-protect, we will find that in our vulnerability, we are indeed held by our Father, Who has already defeated darkness. In His hands, we are safe to rest.

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