July 3, 2025 // Feast of Saint Thomas, Apostle
Read the Word // Open your Bible to today’s Gospel: John 20:24-29
Reflect on the Word //
I clutched the crispy crust of my gluten-free pizza like it was the answer. I held it with reverence and hope, praying that my small sacrifice would fill my belly with more than just the vegan cheese that was dripping onto my plate. Because the very instant my doctor suggested a dietary change, I sprung into action, believing that, surely, all of those years of pizza pockets were to blame for our infertility.
And so I worked . . . hard. I battled those endocrine disruptors like my life depended on it. I tossed out plastic, I ditched the phthalates, and I ate the cardboard-tasting pizza. I did everything within my power to control the circumstance. I did it all, except pray.
Whenever I read today’s Gospel, a tinge of guilt springs forth from within. I realize how akin I am to Saint Thomas the Apostle who said, “unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe” (John 20:25). His doubt in the risen Lord required tangible proof. It required a faith that was only made evident by something tactile.
I think we all have this tendency to some degree. When uncertainty begins to brew and faith begins to wane, we seek the tangible aspects of our circumstance as a way to control the outcome. We opt for what we can physically touch or do to gain the advantage. Yet, all the while, the Lord is silently waiting to reveal Himself to us. We need only faith enough to ask.
I don’t know what sort of trial you’re going through or what tactile ways you are trying to control the outcome, but there is an intangible strength that is waiting to walk you through it. Put down your shield and take off your armor, dear sister, and trust in Him to guide.
Relate to the Lord // In what ways have you been trying to control the outcome? Confess the striving to Jesus and make an act of trust in Him.
Brittany Calavitta is an enthusiastic advocate for a good book, strong coffee, and a hopeful heart. After battling years of infertility, she and her husband welcomed their first child on September 11, 2016. While balancing time between life with a preschooler and a husband who travels for ministry, Brittany dances professionally all over Southern California where her family currently resides. She was a contributing author to Here Too: Where We Find God and Made New: 52 Devotions for Catholic Women. Find out more about her here.
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