January 12, 2026 // Monday of the First Week in Ordinary Time
Read the Word // Open your Bible to today’s First Reading: 1 Samuel 1:1-8
Reflect on the Word //
The silence in the room where I was praying was so strong that it gave me no other choice than to break open my heart to the Lord. For so long I tried to remain positive about a painful situation. I refused to bring my anguish to the Lord, because I assumed it meant that I was lacking faith in His promises. I assumed He was tired of hearing me talk about the same situation, the same issue, again and again. I was struck that shoving my pain down wasn’t helpful, but dangerous. It caused me more pain to pretend it didn’t hurt, than to allow it to hurt.
In today’s First Reading we see Hannah, being open and vulnerable as she weeps and refuses to eat, grieving her barrenness. She was constantly brought down by her husband’s second wife, who “turned it into a constant reproach to her that the Lord ha[d] left her barren” (1 Samuel 1:6). Is this not what the enemy does to us? I was convinced and shut down by his lies, as I thought the Lord would receive my recurring pain with great annoyance. Tomorrow’s First Reading will show us how Hannah eventually does conceive a child. However, it was not Hannah’s pain and sadness that determined whether God would fulfill what He promised, but the truth that He is faithful. We are allowed to both have confidence in His providence and also grieve what hasn’t been fulfilled (or what we thought would be fulfilled). The Lord wasn’t asking me to put on a mask of happiness; He was prompting me to be honest with Him.
Sister, shoving your emotions down is not healthy, nor does it bear fruit in your personal relationship with Jesus. He’s not tired of your honesty or neediness. To be in intimacy with the Lord requires us to be vulnerable. Jesus doesn’t fear vulnerability; He receives it to the fullest. He receives you, and the entirety of your heart.
Relate to the Lord // Tell Jesus how you really are in this moment, for better or for worse. Practice talking to Him honestly and vulnerably.
Bella Rol is a college student from Monterey, CA and she’s passionate about finding the Lord in the simple things. She was a contributing author to New Wine and GIFT: Eucharistic Study for Teens. In her free time, Bella can be found laughing with her three brothers, enjoying a foamy latte, journaling, doodling, contemplating Jesus in the Eucharist, taking a long walk, or asking Saint Joseph for his intercession.
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