Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them;
otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.
When you give alms, do not blow a trumpet before you,
as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets
to win the praise of others.
Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. // Matthew 6:1-2
When my oldest was just a baby, I used to put him on the counter in a baby seat while I cooked. We talked as he watched me bustle about the kitchen. As he grew bigger he would imitate little phrases or gestures, even trying one day to nurse his baby doll while I nursed his infant sibling. That little guy is now a young man living in another state, yet he is still watching how I respond, what I post or say or do, and how I live my daily life.
I am conscious that I continue to be a model for him. Our children will choose what to do (and what not to do), using their childhoods as a foundation. Am I modeling righteousness?
Consistently modeling virtue is at the same time both important and difficult. Jesus instructs us to perform righteous deeds, but not so that we are seen. This does not mean doing them in darkness in some invisible way, rather it means our intentions should be pure. We should conduct ourselves with virtue out of love for the Lord, not to be seen or simply to be a good role model.
It is good to watch our speech or actions carefully, but the orientation of our hearts needs to be on the Lord, not on the world. I admit there are times when I simply bite my tongue because I don't want to say something in the presence of my children. I am still striving to consistently orient my heart to such a love for God and union with His will, that righteousness comes as an extension of love.
Sister, we should respond with kindness because it is the right thing to do, not just because we want to be a good example. We need not blow a trumpet so that our friends or family can see how holy we are. Rather, if we consistently live a life of love for the Lord, we spread light in the darkness, and draw others to that light.