The LORD said to Samuel: “How long will you grieve for Saul, whom I have rejected as king of Israel?" // 1 Samuel 16:1
Back in the days of my youth, I spent a year at a Bible school which was an almost-year long crash course in living in community, working on a life of prayer, studying Scripture and Church teaching, and working in ministry. It was a wild experience in many ways; not the least of which because it was incredibly different, almost foreign, to the regular life that society offers in every way.
At the end of that year, I was determined to get a job in ministry, preferably working for the school and helping the next year’s class of students. I was completely sure that’s what I was supposed to do, and it was just a matter of magical time until the powers that be (and hire) figured that out.
Of course, I didn’t get that job. It sent me into a tailspin of dramatic introspection along with the knee-jerk reaction to refuse to decide to do anything else. I refused to entertain other ideas for my future because I was so disappointed that the dream I had was no longer to be. I was just like Samuel in today’s reading. I wanted to grieve, and, to be honest, to mope about how my plan didn’t work out.
I had to be pushed into the next step in my life, a life that was obviously God’s plan. That story will have to be for another day, but it turned out to be great; another instance of God’s will proving to be greater than those dreams that end and that we mourn.
Sometimes, the most difficult step in following God’s will is letting go of the disappointment we grieve at the end of a dream or phase of life. How can God be calling you to leave your disappointment behind in order to hear His voice for your future?
Christy Isinger is a cradle Catholic, wife, and mother of five teenagers from western Canada. During the short Canadian summers she tries to garden and grow flowers, while in the long cold winters she reads a lot of books, writes, and homeschools. Her Substack newsletter can be found at christyisinger.substack.com.
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