The Sisterhood Series: Envy and Intimacy

Dear Sisters,

Our fourth installment of the Sisterhood Series is about envy versus intimacy. Why these two? How are they a complement to one another? Isn’t envy just jealousy and isn’t intimacy something for BFFs or the loves of our lives?

Envy isolates us.

Envy is when we put ourselves in a box, alone, and we swim around lonely and . . . getting pruney fingers because we’ve been in the water too long.

Saint John Vianney says, “Envy is a sadness which we feel on account of the good that happens to our neighbour.” We get to choose to step into envy after seeing what she has, does, who she is.

We get to take a breath and put one foot in front of the other into that pool of loneliness. Sometimes it washes over our heads, and sometimes it’s just tickling our toes.

And in today’s social media blitz of #bestlife and #humblebrag and #moderninteriors we can simply feel like we’re drowning in it, without even realizing we were in the pool. It’s okay to bless & release, unfollow & mute!

And what’s the antidote to isolation?


I’m not talking about romantic love here or even best friendships. True intimacy is simply been seen and known.

Now no friend can completely do that for us, but  . . . okay, you guys, you totally know where I’m going with this . . . GOD. God is the ultimate intimacy and when we’re in a relationship with Him, that flows out into all of our other relationships. He’ll teach us how to both be seen and how to see others!

“Pray with great confidence, with confidence based upon the goodness and infinite generosity of God and upon the promises of Jesus Christ. God is a spring of living water which flows unceasingly into the hearts of those who pray.”

-Saint Louis de Montfort

Let’s ask Him to turn up the spigot. If we fear the rejection that cuts deeper with being intimate, being known. It’s even better to be rejected unknown that rejected known, right?

But He will never reject us. And He gives us the Sacrament of Penance to heal our souls from every time we separate ourselves from Him and wounded the Church, the Mystical Body of Christ, His Bride. (More on this at the Catechism in sections 1422-98.)

Let’s practice today, sisters. 

  • First Step: Re-frame envy as a harm to ourselves, a self-imposed isolation, and say it aloud when you find yourself swimming in it.

  • Second Step: setting healthy boundaries for creating a stop-gap for opportunities to feel envy is good! don’t follow & friend on social media, don’t go to get togethers, and don’t worry about explaining yourself.

  • Third Step: Pray over intimacy with the Lord. Ask Him to teach you how to have an open heart for His love.

  • Fourth Step: Go to Confession! Seek it out at your parish or any place local. Start fresh.

  • Fifth Step: Acknowledge you don’t have to be besties with everyone but that intimacy with God means you can be close with other women without comparison: their lives are not yours. He has something just for you in store.

  • Sixth Step: Invest yourself in a new friend this week. Make the effort to reach out to her, contact her, follow up on a text, all with an open heart.

Let’s pray for each other over the weekend, sisters. Let’s pray this prayer: “Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.”


Managing Editor
Blessed is She

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