In this last installment of the series, we’re closing things up with topics that most of us have encountered: betrayal, and conversely, trust.
Betrayal can be infidelity in a relationship, a friend exposing secrets and confidences, or a family member failing to meet emotional needs time and time again. It can be life shattering or a moment for growth. There’s no measuring stick for how big it has to be to “count.” Betrayal both stings and burns.
And how do we learn to trust again when we’ve felt this? How do we open our hearts up, again, to the possibility of betrayal?
Jesus Himself experienced betrayal by Judas and knew it was coming, as He shares in Luke 22:21: “But behold the hand of him who betrays me is with me on the table.” He knows how we experience it because He did, too.
And on the flip side, Saint Peter betrayed Jesus three times! Three times, my friends! Jesus forgave him and still entrusted His Church to him.
A friend is going through a terrible time in her marriage. They’re on the brink of divorce and she asks me if she is supposed to fake it until she makes it and pretend their problems don’t exist so she can continue to be a good Catholic. But she can’t heal until she’s said it out–had her hurts and wounds acknowledged or at least stated. The path to trust after betrayal starts with honesty.
I think about my friend and all of us who have been through heartache, and I think how we need healing and acknowledgment before trust happens again. And maybe those things won’t come from our betrayer. Maybe we can only really receive those from the Lord.
The Lord can and will, in His time, help us be able to heal from betrayal and trust again. He is the source of all healing, the source of why and how we trust. We trust anyone because we trust Him.
Let’s practice today, sisters.
- First Step: Face your betrayals. Journal about them, talk to a close friend, find a good Catholic counselor. Until we are vulnerable, we can’t hope for healing.
- Second Step: Have you betrayed someone? Maybe they don’t even know it. Maybe it was a small gossip moment or a big social media share. Apologize and own up to it–even if it changes your relationship. Truly repent and take it to Confession, asking God for help to heal.
- Third Step: If you have relationships filled with trust, rejoice in them and thank those people in your life. Offer a prayer for them today.
- Fourth Step: Have you turned to God as the source of trust and healing or are you jaded because the person who betrayed you is withholding acknowledgement and apologies? Bring your heart close to the Sacred Heart and rest in Him.
- Fifth Step: If you find yourself repeatedly pulling away from people to pre-empt their hurting you, be patient with yourself and them. Approach the relationship rooted in trust of your identity in God as made in His image and let that guide you.
- Sixth Step: Each day pray, “Jesus, I trust in You” a handful of times. Maybe at the stoplight, before checking your texts or social, after washing your hands. Find the rhythm of the prayer in your day-to-day.
It’s been a joy to journey through how to be closer to Our Lord and deeper in our faith and more open to sisterhood with you, friends. I’m praying for your intentions at my weekly Holy Hour and am always so happy to have you reach out with prayer intentions or questions about anything Blessed is She related.