Throughout the month of May, we will be sharing posts focused on journeying alongside the Blessed Virgin Mary.
Share your experiences in the comments or on social media using #praywithmary.
There was a time when I didn’t like Our Lady. I thought she was unrelatable, perfect, and far removed from me. The idea of her maternity seemed symbolic at best. So the thought of any type of true love or devotion of her was not on my agenda.
Our Lady, however, had other plans for me.
About 14 years ago, I remember laying in bed trying to fall asleep. Out of pure habit, I mindlessly prayed a Hail Mary.
And abruptly stopped.
In a somewhat terrifying moment, I was suddenly in a battle with myself and reality. Who was I talking to? If she was symbolic, why I am doing this? If she is real, what is she like? I had to then decide what I believed and if I would let this Lady I knew little of into my life.
That summer was a series of events that made her presence so undoubtedly known in my life, I was sure I was being stalked from heaven. I even had a lifelong family friend mistakenly call me Mary and then apologize saying it must have been because I remind her so much of Our Lady! There was no question then, she was as real as my own mother and definitely chasing after me.
That moment of truth led to a lifestyle change initiated by Mary. I was able to fearlessly hand my sinful and self-serving life over to God as a young lady knowing she was there with me as a true and good mother. I later did the Consecration according to St. Louis de Montfort deepening my commitment to Jesus and Mary. In short, Mary saved me from myself.
I honestly hate to think of where I would be if grace and Our Lady hadn’t stopped me in my mindless prayers that night. As a mother, I see it even better now. The way I love my children is unknown to them. It’s hidden, always watching, gently guiding, and fervently praying them to the right path. All they can really feel is my presence and how I’m acting around them. I never saw Mary’s love until I woke up to her action in my life and admitted her presence.
When my boys hand me a wilted weed flower to express their love for me, they’ll never know the joy it brings me. It’s enough to know that even if they don’t know all the details of my love for them, they notice. And they love back. There aren’t words for the love I now have for Our Lady – though I suspect simply admitting that is enough for her.
Angie is wife to Jake, mother to three wildly hilarious boys, and loves her coffee strong. You can find out more about her and her writings at www.yellowpelicanblog.net