I distinctly remember the first time I encountered the Person of Jesus. I was a rising sophomore in high school, attending Catholic events on autopilot and out of obedience to my parents. The faith was not my own. I did not know Jesus personally. I was insecure and obsessed with my social status and soccer-girl image.
Then, at a youth conference, Jesus in the Eucharist dramatically broke through my walls and spoke my identity to me. What had always been true about me became personally and unmistakably clear as I encountered Jesus and His love. I was not just a soccer player. I was not what my friends thought of me. I was “not the sum of [my] weaknesses and failures” (source). I was not my appearance, my popularity, my accomplishments, or any other label I had placed on myself.
I was a beloved daughter.
And I remain a beloved daughter.
My life was forever changed. Hearing and receiving those words from Jesus altered the entire trajectory of my life. I would not be where I am today without that encounter.
Coming Down the Mountain
The days and weeks immediately following that experience were unlike anything I had known before. I remember feeling so on fire. I remember feeling so alive. I began trying to incorporate prayer into my daily routine. As I transitioned back into the normal rhythm of everyday life, I knew nothing was the same.
But it also felt clunky. Honestly, it was a little bit of a letdown. I remember wishing I could go back to the intensity of that experience. I wanted to stay in those moments where everything felt light and easy.
I was coming down from a mountaintop experience. And that can be challenging. It can be discouraging. But I had been given everything I needed to continue living from the identity of belovedness that had been spoken over me.
The Apostles also had a mountaintop experience, and today the Church celebrates it as the Feast of the Transfiguration.
Recorded in each of the Synoptic Gospels, Jesus went up a mountain with His three closest Apostles—Peter, James, and John. There, He was “transfigured” before them, revealing a glimpse of His eternal glory as He conversed with the prophets Moses and Elijah. Echoing His Baptism in the Jordan, the Father’s voice once again affirmed Jesus’ identity: “This is my Son, the Beloved” (Matthew 17:5).
An Unforgettable Experience
The Transfiguration offered the Apostles a glimpse of Christ’s glory, power, and divine identity, bringing them great peace and consolation. Peter, in his own way, expresses the very human desire to remain in that elevated moment by asking if they could build tents and stay there.
But Jesus and the Apostles do not remain on Mount Tabor. In fact, the weeks that immediately followed led them to Jesus’ Passion and Death. Talk about the opposite of a feel-good mountaintop experience.
But maybe that timing is intentional. Perhaps the Lord gives us moments of great consolation and tangible experiences of His love to prepare us for what lies ahead. Not all of life is lived on the mountaintop. But those moments of grace can sustain us when the valleys eventually arrive.
At the Transfiguration, God the Father clearly proclaimed Jesus’ identity. And remaining rooted in that identity prepared Jesus to face the suffering that lay ahead of Him.
That youth conference was a mountaintop experience for me. There have only been a few times since where I have so clearly felt the Lord’s love and heard His voice. For many of us, these significant moments of encounter with Him may be few and far between. They may feel like once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Maybe you’re still waiting for yours. And that’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
We can be grateful for these encounters—whether our own or someone else’s—without resenting how infrequently they come. Many holy men and women, now Saints in Heaven, endured years of spiritual desolation during which they neither felt the Lord’s presence nor heard His voice.
An Identity That Never Changes
The truth spoken to me on the mountain has remained with me on the way down. It has remained with me in the fields, in the valleys, and even in the pits, when life has taken me there. Like Jesus and the Apostles, we are not meant to stay on the mountaintop forever. That is not where the majority of life is lived.
No matter where we find ourselves, our identity never changes. It is rooted in our relationship with the Father as His beloved daughters. I pray that you have heard this truth spoken over you. But even if your mountaintop moment hasn’t happened yet, it is already the truth of your identity.
We must allow the truth of our belovedness to permeate everything we do—every day, every season, every situation. We must stay grounded in it when we feel like it and when we don’t. We must own it on the mountain and off it.
May this Feast of the Transfiguration encourage you to live today—and every day—from your deepest identity as God’s beloved.
