“Follow me.” // Matthew 9:9
Jesus’ clear and concise words to Saint Matthew completely changed the course of his life. Don’t we all desire that sort of clarity in life? Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us responded with quick obedience to His call? When I was discerning my vocation, I hoped that I could have a Matthew Moment—Jesus sees me, Jesus chooses me, Jesus calls me, Jesus delights in me as I follow Him.
The Call of Saint Matthew probably occurred in approximately one minute—my call to discern religious life occurred over the course of several years. As my heart slowly opened to the possibility of leaving everything behind to follow Jesus, so many fears bubbled up in my prayer. I could see the beauty of an undivided heart that belongs completely to the Lord, but I could also see the death of many dreams.
I became more attentive to the loving gaze of Christ during my nine months set aside for intentional discernment of my vocation. I experienced the way Jesus looked at me, especially at daily Mass, daily Adoration, and frequent Confession. I knew that He saw me. Then I began to experience His choice of me—I started to understand how my life was to be set apart to follow Him more closely. Then Jesus called me to a particular community after I had visited with dozens of religious sisters across the United States. Finally, I decided to follow Him with unwavering trust in His goodness.
As I went through formation in the convent as a postulant, novice, and newly professed sister, I experienced the depths of the Matthew Moment—Jesus saw me, chose me, called me, and delighted in me, even as I began to suffer with a very painful cross. Jesus saw how I was not thriving. Jesus chose to invite me to deeper surrender. Jesus called me to a new place. And Jesus delighted in me as I followed Him into New Life outside of those convent walls. Where is He calling you today?
Rose Coleman is an elementary school teacher with a heart for pilgrimage. She traveled the globe on a ship during college and spent some years in the convent as a religious sister. She was a contributing author to All She Had, Blessed Conversations: Rooted, and our children’s devotional prayer book called Rise Up. Find out more about her here.
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