Thoroughly wash me from my guilt and of my sin cleanse me. // Psalm 51:4
My younger children charged down the sidewalk as my eldest walked beside me on the cool spring afternoon. It had been a gift lately to see the developing spirituality of my daughter as we discussed the fruits of resolutions to be kinder people.
“I always resolve to be kinder to others after Confession,” I admitted to my daughter, “but I do not always choose to be kind even after I make that resolution.” The truth is that priests have been pointing to my lack of charity nearly every time I receive the Sacrament of Penance. I just can’t seem to break the habitual impatience I have towards my family as I try to move us through the various activities of our days.
Yet, I want to pray along with the psalmist for the Lord to “thoroughly wash me from my guilt” and “of my sin cleanse me.” I don’t want to be merely forgiven. I want more. I want the Lord’s grace to make me better. I want to answer the Lord’s call in the Gospel to “be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). But to do this I have to love those who interfere with my well-laid-out plans for the day and pray for those children who ignore my instructions for the umpteenth time.
The Lord does not expect me to be charitable and kind only when others are being kind to and cooperative with me; He offers the grace for me to have charity towards others always.
Sister, perhaps kindness comes to you more easily than it comes to me. But the Lord may be calling you deeper into His perfection in some other way. Examine your conscience today; bring to the Lord a place that needs His thorough washing and receive His grace.
Answer the Lord’s call. // Susanna SpencerClick to tweet
Susanna Spencer holds a master's in Theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville and is the Content and Theological Editor for Blessed is She. She is a freelance writer, editor, and speaker living with her philosopher husband and four kids in Saint Paul, Minnesota. She loves reading theology, attending beautiful liturgies, cooking delicious food, and casually following baseball. She is the author of the Gospel Studies including Seek His Kingdom: A Meditation on Matthew; narrator for Found: Advent With the Good Shepherd and Rescued: Lent With the Lamb of God; a contributing author to our children’s devotional prayer book, Rise Up; and Theological Editor of the Blessed Conversations Studies. Find out more about her here.
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