"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and worried about many things. There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part and it will not be taken from her." // Luke 10:41-42
Anxiety and exhaustion got the best of me the other day. I am an extroverted introvert and a college campus minister who has been going nonstop since in-person classes began in August. Coming out of the pandemic and building community meant a lot of events, Bible studies, retreats, and spiritual directing.
Smack in the middle of all this stress, I took a day to pray and rest. I got my coffee and headed to the beach to be still, listen, and breathe.
I felt the vibrations of the music pumping through speakers as people sped by on their bikes. I breathed in the fresh air and listened to the sound of the wind rattling through the palm trees. I smelled the salty air from the waves crashing on the shore and heard laughter ebb and flow from everyone around me. Finally, I listened to the Lord once the chaotic chatter had left my head.
It took me hours to be still and finally hear Him speak in my heart. He spoke into my fears and my pride-induced exhaustion. He gently soothed my heart that felt stretched and bruised from trying to do it all on my own. He reminded me that without Him I can do nothing, but with Him all things are possible. And He told me, Today, you have chosen the better part and it will not be taken from you (Luke 10:42).
It was an effort to stop and be still, one that I fight all the time. I take it as a badge of honor to do all I do. But it’s more a badge of pride I need to examine and confess so I can rely on God more and give Him the glory.
I wish this Gospel of Martha and Mary wasn’t such a mirror in my life, but it is. It’s my new examination as I end my day: was I more Martha or Mary today? Depending on how I answer, I know how close I am to the Lord.
Join me in this examination, sister? Maybe then we will get closer and closer to resting in the presence of God.