Years ago, I was a Missionary Director for a Catholic Movement in Arizona. We followed a set of "Rules of Life" based on Saint Benedict’s Rule which helped me prayerfully form the community and mediate conflicts.
When missionaries would come to me with their communal drama, I would ask them two simple questions before they shared:
1) Is what you are about to say going to change my opinion of someone?
2) Have you already brought this situation to them?
Christ gives us an incredible model in Matthew’s Gospel (18:15-20) to overcome the sin of gossip. Instead of talking behind someone’s back, Jesus asks us to go directly to the person we have fault with and talk.
If they listen, fantastic!
If they don’t, invite one or two neutral souls into the conversation, being careful not manipulate the dialogue. This allows for unbiased ears to hear the testimony of each person so resolution and healing can be accomplished. After all, that is the goal, isn’t it?
Finally, if that does not work, "tell the Church" (Matthew 18:17). What does this mean? I believe God is telling us to seek the wisdom of the Church however it is available to you. I have taken conflicts to my spiritual director, met with a priest to mediate, turned to Scripture to hear God speak to my wounded heart, and gone to the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Saint Benedict’s Rule reminds us that Christ is present in each person we encounter. "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:20). Everyone must be loved, respected (the Rule 4) listened to (the Rule 3) and received as Christ (the Rule 53). Everyone without exception is to be treated with gentleness and compassion (the Rule 64:36).
So, the next time you’re tempted to gossip, ask yourself the two questions above and turn to Saint Matthew for wisdom. "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them" (Matthew 18:15:20).
Christ is present. // @SoCalTriciaTClick to tweet
Learn more about this remarkable Benedictine order of monks.
Tricia Tembreull is a seasoned ministry professional dedicated to guiding young hearts toward spiritual growth, healing, and the love of Christ. With a background in youth and young adult ministry, Tricia has served in various roles, including as a youth minister, college campus ministry at USC Caruso Catholic Center, and Regional Director for Life Teen International. As a devotions writer for Blessed Is She, she shares scripture reflections that resonate deeply with women of faith. Recognized as a compelling Catholic speaker, Tricia challenges audiences to embrace their faith with authenticity. Additionally, as a spiritual director, she provides compassionate support to those seeking deeper connections with God. Currently serving as the Coordinator of Young Adult Ministry and Evangelization for the Diocese of Orange, Tricia continues to inspire young adults to embrace their faith journey with zeal and purpose, embodying a commitment to spreading the gospel while fostering communities of love.
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