When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, “Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb..." // Luke 1:41-42 Today we get get DOUBLE the amazingness, because the most incredible Carolyn of Brass and Mint Co. created two sets of wallpapers for us!! Remember, Members, you get these 8x10 digital downloads for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Growing up, my family had a lot of Christmas traditions. New pajamas on Christmas Eve, Bing Crosby’s album playing as we came down the stairs, and a special breakfast following the unwrapping of all our presents. Perhaps one of the traditions I remember the most wasn’t actually a tradition at all. Every Christmas Eve, my mother would have a set itinerary of when everyone needed to be bathed and ready and what time we needed to be leaving the house in order to still get good seats at Mass. We’d get there way too early and one of us would volunteer as tribute to lay out all the coats along the pew and safeguard our spot while everyone else ran around in the courtyard. Does this sound familiar to anyone? The Journey to Christmas Mass Christmas Mass is always packed with relatives who are just along for the ride and teenagers being forced to go by their grandparents. There are families there who have never brought their kids to Mass before and drag along their littles with arms full of toys and snacks (like real snacks, not just a bag of Cheerios). These people will likely take “your spot.” They might even be talking on the phone and smacking their gum as they wait for Mass to start. So. Annoying. Right? Wrong. We are All Called For a long time I viewed the Christmas (and Easter) only Catholics as irritating imposters. Sure, you’re Catholic, sure. How come you have no idea when to kneel or what the responses are? In reality it was me who was doing the “faking.” How could I call myself a Catholic while I sat in that pew, silently judging those around me and missing the miracle that was right in front of me? The Eucharist is the miracle that happens at every Mass. But on Christmas, right underneath the greatest miracle of all, is the miracle that the Baby Jesus brings in the lost sheep. Regardless of the reason why they have shown up to Mass, the Christ Child, in His sweetness, beckons them closer to His manger. He calls them to feel the sweet touch of His fingers, and delight in His newborn breath. We are all called. Welcoming Visitors to Our Parish During Christmas Now, the challenge to us who do have a “favorite spot” in the pews is to do our best to make sure that all those in church—for the first time in a long time—find a favorite spot, too. What can we do help them come back the following Sunday? Here are some ideas. Invite Them to Get Involved Some parishes will have a children’s Christmas Eve Mass. Sometimes that means a children’s choir and/or a short nativity play. Maybe you have some friends with kids who are Catholic but aren’t practicing. Invite them to the children’s Mass and have them get their kids involved! Invite Those in Your Circle Ask your friends and family who may have fallen away from the Church to come to Christmas Mass with you! A lot of times, people are just looking for an invitation to return home. You can be that invitation. Volunteer to Be the First Impression Volunteer to be an usher or greeter. The jobs will vary from parish to parish. But Christmas Masses are always looking for more volunteers. Get involved! Sign up to be that welcoming and understanding face people see when they step into the church (perhaps for the first time in a long time). Plus, when you hand out the bulletins as people leave, you can say something like, “See you on Sunday!” Smile If you’re like me, and volunteering with four young kids is pretty impossible, there is something quite simple you can do. When you see another family in front of you or behind you that is also struggling to keep littles quiet and engaged, smile at them. Giving that knowing smile and look that says, “Hey, you’re doing a good job and I totally get it.” Then after Mass, make sure you actually say it. Just let them know that you see them and you’re happy they’re there. Secret Scripture Santa Finally, if you’re a little more introverted and talking to new people can sometimes give you hives, here’s another idea. Order a set of the BIS Scripture cards. Grab a handful (or all of them!) and write in the corner, “For you!” Then when you get to church early on Christmas Eve, say a little prayer, and then tuck them in next to a missal. That scripture card might just might be what someone needs to read to bring them back home. Letting People Come to Him Now I’m not saying that getting to Mass early so that you can have “good seats” is bad. As a family, I’m sure we’ll be doing that since our littles pay attention better when closer to the altar. But this year, just be at peace wherever it is that you end up in the church. Be welcoming to all those around you. Offer a smile or a kind word to the people who look like they’d rather be anywhere else. The Heavenly glow of the manger brings all people together. Sometimes we just need to take a small step back and let someone behind us get a little bit closer. [bctt tweet="The Heavenly glow of the manger brings all people together. Sometimes we just need to take a small step back and let someone behind us get a little bit closer. #BISblog //" username="susana_starbuck"] What are some ways you intentionally reach out to people visiting your parish for Christmas Mass? [bctt tweet="Bubble Gum and the Baby Jesus: Welcoming Visitors to Our Parish During Christmas #BISblog //" username="susana_starbuck"] Susana Starbuck is a regular contributor to the BIS blog. She is wife of a youth minister and mother to four littles five and under. She lives in Phoenix, AZ and enjoys reading a good book, posting her highlight reel on Instagram, and drinking wine. You can connect with her here.

The first brochures my then-fiance and I received pertaining to Natural Family Planning featured images of couples holding hands, embracing, and walking through a field of sunflowers, looking simply joyful. The text inside told us how NFP would be the best part of our marriage. It would make us grow in knowledge of each other, of ourselves, and in self-sacrificial love. After over a year of marriage and two years of charting, I can definitely say that NFP has certainly done all those things for my husband and I. But those introductory brochures failed to capture the reality of how difficult, frustrating, and just plain awful NFP can often be. NFP is (Not Usually) Fun I recall discussing NFP with a friend after I had been charting for a few months and the frustration was beginning to set in. My friend was positively giddy about NFP. “Our instructor just makes NFP so much fun!” My mind reeled. Fun? This is supposed be fun? What’s wrong with me? Because I’m really not having fun when my observations tell me nothing and I throw my chart across the room out of frustration. A Bad Catholic? I concluded that maybe I was just a bad Catholic because my husband and I didn’t look like the picture-perfect couples on those NFP brochures, and we certainly weren’t having “fun” with NFP. Instead, it was a huge, looming, burdensome cross that made me feel inadequate every single time I looked at my mess of a chart. More often than not, NFP doesn’t work out the way we hope it will. For some, it’s a minor inconvenience. For others, it’s a cross, but a bearable one. And for the rest of us, it’s a much heavier cross than anyone ever told us it would be for one reason or another; and more often than not, our knees buckle from the weight of it. How to Embrace the Cross When NFP is a Struggle Whatever your struggle, you should know this: If you’re struggling with NFP, you’re not alone, and you’re not a bad Catholic. There are ways to embrace and carry this cross, even when it feels like you can’t carry it another step. Prayer If you are struggling with NFP, the first step is to take it to prayer. And I don’t just mean, “Jesus, help me carry this cross.” I mean brutally honest prayer. In the depths of my despair with NFP, my prayer looked more like, "Jesus, I hate using NFP. Why won’t it work for me? Why must I carry this cross? Can’t it just be easy? I need help, in some way or another. I can’t keep doing this." And, the gentle Lord that He is, He has not only continually given me the grace to press on and see my suffering as a gift that could help others, but He also brought patient people, previously unexplored treatment options to my health issues, and solutions into my life to help me begin to resolve the struggles I was having with charting. Jesus Can Handle It Jesus can handle your anger and frustration. In fact, I think He likes hearing from us when we are upset and despairing. He wants all of us, even those feelings of anger and frustration with our choice to adhere to Church teaching and use NFP. Doing so takes humility to come before the Lord as you are, frustrations and all. Don’t be afraid to lay everything—even your frustration or anger with NFP—at the foot of His Cross. Stop Pretending It’s Supposed to Be Fun Acknowledge the reality of your situation with NFP. In my case, it often seems like no matter what I try, my chart is different every single month. Because of inexplicable hormonal issues, it is sometimes very near impossible to understand what my chart is telling me. That, combined with horrendous PMS symptoms, NFP often feels like a constant battle. And it's one that I am definitely losing. Half of the battle, though, has been realizing that it’s okay to hate it. It’s okay to cry over it, and be a little irritated at how everyone presented NFP as this saving grace of marriage. The truth is that it’s really not the best part of my marriage. It’s a very important part, though. It's one that has taught and continues to teach me how to sacrifice, love rightly and deeply, and how to appreciate God’s plan for human sexuality. And for those reasons I will always defend it and proclaim it to be superior than any artificial contraception. But the truth is it’s not always fun and it’s hardly ever easy. Don’t Give Up It’s so easy to get passive in the struggle. It's easy to assume that “this is just how it’s supposed to be” whether you’re struggling with conceiving, with charting, with severe PMS symptoms, or something else. If something isn’t working for you when it comes to NFP, ask for help. Don’t give up looking for answers from your doctors and NFP instructors. And if you’re not satisfied, find a second opinion or consider learning a new method that may work better for you. At the very least, find someone to share your struggle. If you’re married, lean on your spouse. If you’re single, seek out community of other women who practice NFP. Doing so will help you find solidarity. Never underestimate how beneficial it is to simply share your struggle with another, even if they don’t completely understand what you’re going through. Remember Why You’re Using NFP Ultimately, remember why you’ve made the choice to practice natural family planning. Sure, there are the more immediate reasons: to try to achieve or avoid a pregnancy, space children, or gain greater insight into your fertility. But on a larger scale, you’ve likely chosen NFP because you want to be faithful to the teachings of the Church. Remember that the Church does not tell us to not use artificial contraception because she wants to "oppress" us and make us miserable. But rather because the Church, as our Mother, knows what is best for us. And even despite the struggle, most of us can step back and say that, in some way, NFP is what is best for us. Embracing the Cross As strange as it sounds, our struggles are ultimately for our own good. Our sufferings can bring us closer to Christ, if we embrace them. But embracing the cross of NFP doesn’t mean we have to necessarily like NFP or even find it “fun.” It means uniting our suffering to that of Christ. It means asking Jesus—plainly, simply, and honestly—to show us how to carry our crosses well, and to acknowledge that Jesus has given us this struggle for the benefit of our eternal soul. It means placing our fear, anger, hurt, frustration, and confusion in His capable Hands and trusting Him to turn it into something beautiful. What's your biggest struggle with NFP? What's been your biggest blessing? [bctt tweet="Embracing the Cross: When NFP is a Struggle #BISblog //" via="no"] Sarah Coffey is a freelance writer and copyeditor and also works for the Archdiocese of St. Louis. She and her husband, Jesse, both converted to Catholicism in college, and they reside in the St. Louis area with their cats, Stella and Cayden. You can find out more about her here.

Christmas truly is my favorite time of year. With bated breath I stretch out those days of Advent and Christmas as long as I possibly can. I slowly add Christmas festivity to my home, beginning with a bare tree that I decorate as the weeks go by. I set out my Advent journal alongside my wreath and begin my daily devotions. My African nativity gets a special place on my fireplace mantle, a precious reminder of time spent overseas in college. I hang a handmade silver and red wreath on my front door and freeze ice lanterns to light the way for visitors. My desire is that every part of my home reflect the newness, beauty, and hope of Christmas. And yet, amidst the joy and anticipation of this holy season there is a lingering emotion that troubles my heart: The persistent feeling of loneliness. [bctt tweet="Amidst the joy of this holy season there is a lingering emotion that troubles my heart: the persistent feeling of loneliness. #BISblog //" via="no"] Navigating Loneliness During the Holidays I know that I am not alone in this struggle. Some members of our sisterhood are empty nesters and preparing for a Christmas without children at home. Some are grieving deaths. Then there are those who are faced with unfulfilled vocations. Even those who have found their call to marriage or to consecrated life find themselves struggling with pangs of loneliness at times, perhaps brought on by long distances from beloved family or strife in particular relationships. Don't let the glittering facade of Facebook images fool you. We all struggle with loneliness on occasion. Be honest about your loneliness, with the Lord and with others. What I’ve learned over the years about these emotions is that they are: uncomfortable common, and okay. Rather than trying to stifle them or wish every year for a Christmas without those unpleasant feelings, I’ve learned to find ways to let them be in my life without running amok. If your heart is in a similar place, I’d encourage you to voice your loneliness in prayer (Lord, I’m lonely!), and ask Him to come alongside you and give you comfort. He always loves our honesty. It’s also okay to acknowledge with friends if this is a tough season for you. Speaking the truth of our hearts is so freeing, and lets others know it is okay to be lonely, too. Make a plan of self-gift. When we’re honest about these emotions it won’t come as a surprise that you’ll find others who are also struggling. Would you are willing to extend a hand in friendship to someone who shares a similar struggle? Perhaps by sharing coffee with a fellow BIS sister or visiting those in our neighborhoods who are marginalized, like the elderly, homebound, or homeless. There are so many in our communities who are isolated and have no true companionship at Christmastime. Consider making a few Christmas cards and hand delivering them to those in need. Even better, continue your visits throughout the year! These gifts of self remind us that we are not alone, and offer the great blessing of easing not only your own loneliness but those of others as well. Limit unnecessary holiday struggles. Pangs of loneliness are only made worse when we stretch ourselves too thin at Christmastime. It's okay to say no to a gathering that will be emotionally difficult to attend. It's okay to not say yes to an additional task at work or school this time of year. Make time on your calendar to do something that fills your heart, like decorating your own home, watching your favorite holiday film, or reclaiming a childhood Christmas tradition that had been forgotten. [bctt tweet="Pangs of loneliness are only made worse when we stretch ourselves too thin at Christmastime. #BISblog //" via="no"] Go to Mass or have a Holy Hour with someone dear to you. It sounds so simple doesn't it? But sometimes celebrating the liturgy or being in the Lord’s presence with another is the best way to be reminded that we are not alone. Make a plan to share a Mass or Holy Hour with a trusted friend or confidante, if not on Christmas morning then perhaps shortly before or after. Share your intentions with each other and commit to praying for those intentions during the Christmas season. It's such a grace to know you have someone personally praying for you and you for them. Take heart. If nothing else, know that this season chock-full of emotions will soon come to an end and life will regain a rhythm in the New Year. May we hold tight to the truth that we are never really alone, even when it feels like it must be so. I’m with you in your loneliness. I want you to know deeply that you are seen, you are loved, and you belong in this Blessed is She community. Here’s to welcoming all of the newness and promise of Christmas together. [bctt tweet="Loneliness During the Holidays #BISblog /" via="no"] Karen Schultz is a regular contributor to the BIS blog and a devotion writer. She hails from the Land of 10,000 lakes, where she is often found in or near one of them. As a doula, lactation educator, and FertilityCare Practitioner, she finds joy in helping women to embrace the gift of their bodies. Downtime is found in quiet adoration chapels, farmers markets and gardens, listening to bluegrass music, and embracing the diversity of Minnesota’s seasons. You can find out more about her here.

I entered the Catholic Church four years ago. I went from being Agnostic to Protestant to Catholic. My conversion gives me a unique perspective on the Faith. Likewise, my disability also gives me a unique perspective from which I view the world. As a young adult woman who happens to have Cerebral Palsy, I have a unique voice to offer the Church. As a part of the disabled minority, I often feel invisible in the church. I often feel that my struggles with faith and the Church go unaddressed. I want to tell about my struggles. Other Catholics with disabilities need to know that they are not alone. Furthermore, other non-disabled Catholic need insight so that they can help alleviate the struggles. The Struggles I Face 1. Healing and Knowing God Loves Me At a young age, I struggled with the concept of healing. My doubts began in middle school. A well-intended Christian confronted me about my disability. He offered to pray for me. He said if I had faith, God would heal me. At that moment, I felt weak. I felt that I was born this way. Why would God allow me to be disabled and refuse to heal me? Suddenly God no longer felt like a loving father. It would take years before I’d be able to come to grips with miracles and healing. Those who identify as disabled often find the healing narratives challenging. They often depict a reality unknown and irreconcilable to persons who are disabled. 2. Barriers to Participation Often a disabled person will struggle to take part in church life. For those with physical disabilities, the barriers are primarily architectural. For example, in older churches, steps make portions of the church inaccessible. In fact, during youth ministry training, my youth minister had booked a room that was up a flight of steps. Furthermore, I have been to parishes where none of the bathrooms were wide enough for a chair. For other disabilities, it’s less architectural and more a lack of accommodations. For example, a deaf person may not be able to take part fully in Mass due to a lack of a sign language interpreter. In fact, one member told me that her deaf brother had left the Church for this exact reason. 3. Feeling Invisible When you are the only one in the pews, it’s easy to feel invisible or left out. This was a major problem for me growing up Catholic. In religious education classes, I didn’t get the same accommodations I got when I went to public school. Thus, I wasn’t able to take part as much. Also, most youth groups have physical activities as “fun.” I have made friends in the Church through involvement. Still, I don’t know any other disabled Catholics. Solutions Luckily for me, I had a radical encounter with Jesus Christ. This encounter led me back to His Church. Yet, I worry about others. How many disabled people describe themselves as fallen away Catholics? Here are three ways we can help. Embrace the Cross We can help persons with disabilities to embrace the cross of suffering. We can listen when they express anger, doubt, and frustration. You shouldn’t be so quick to offer to heal because suffering makes you uncomfortable. Rather, you should pray for healing only after discernment. Better yet you should ask them what they need prayer for, what their actual struggles are. Please don’t say that if they had faith, it would be better. Give Those with Disabilities a Voice People with disabilities should have a say in church decisions when it affects them. Parishes should make services known to disabled people. For example, parishes could list a number in the bulletin that one could call if sign language is needed. Parishes need to make sure alternative routes and entrances are clearly marked. Likewise, parishes should make sure accessible routes are unlocked and unobstructed. Ushers should know how to accommodate a person with a disability. Be Inclusive Parishes should have activities that everyone can partake in regardless of physical ability. Catechist programs should include accommodations for those who are disabled. I am happy to report that some parishes now offer this, but it’s still relatively few. If you sit next to a person who's disabled in Mass or at an event, talk to them. Get to know them. You should avoid being overly nice or inauthentic with them. The Dignity of the Human Person As Catholics, we’re called to uphold the inherent dignity of every person. Every person has inherent worth. Every baptized person shares in the divine office of Priest, Prophet, and King. Thus, our parishes need to make room for disabled voices. We have gifts that we can share with the bride of Christ. We should not let our struggles keep us from the love of Christ. Are you someone with a disability? What has your experience been like as a Catholic? [bctt tweet=" How to Minister to People with Disabilities #BISblog //" via="no"] Sarah Bailey writes on the joys and struggles of being a Catholic convert. In her free time, she enjoys reading, playing board games, and going to concerts. You can find out more about her here.

It's the middle of December. Most of us are up to our eyeballs in Christmas preparation while also preparing our hearts throughout our Advent journey. But I'd love to direct your attention toward the new year—just for a moment—to invite you to join us for the 2019 Prayer Pledge. The Blessed is She Prayer Pledge Every January, our Blessed is She community comes together, across the globe, to dedicate the first month of the new year to prayer. As many of us formulate goals and articulate dreams for the new year, we link arms and encourage one another to put our relationship with the Lord at the very top of our list. So for the first 31 days of the new year, we pledge to pray together. We set ourselves on the path of this good practice with the hopes that our daily time spent with Christ this first month of the year would carry over to a daily prayer habit for the rest of the year...and for our entire lives. New Year, New Pentecost This year's Prayer Pledge theme is New Year, New Pentecost. As a play on the oft-used phrase this time of year, "new year, new you," we're focusing our attention on praying for a deeper relationship with the Holy Spirit. It is He who will ultimately create an everlasting transformation in our hearts, lives, and world. Each week of January, one Regular Blog Contributor will walk us through one prayer or hymn to the Holy Spirit. We will reflect on five different prayers and hymns to the Holy Spirit and what this means for our relationship with Him. Our hope is that we all grow to know, love, and serve God more through this prayer time together. What to Expect Each Day Every day of the Prayer Pledge, there will be a new post on the blog. The daily posts, as aforementioned, will include a section of a prayer or hymn to the Holy Spirit and will be followed by a brief reflection. Our daily posts will close with both a personal reflection question or encouragement and a deep question to discuss with your prayer partner (more on that below). If you're like me and could use a daily reminder about the Prayer Pledge, sign up to receive the Prayer Pledge posts straight to your inbox. If you subscribe to our devotions, then you're familiar with the setup and how much easier this makes it to remain faithful to our pledge! By signing up, you'll also receive five gorgeous printables with excerpts from each week's prayer or hymn that yo can print and hang throughout your home. Prayer Partners Another great way to enter into the new year with a renewed pledge to deepen your relationship with God is by buddying up. We really encourage each of us to choose a prayer partner for the Prayer Pledge. If you already have a thriving Bible study or prayer group, perhaps you can team up and bring the Prayer Pledge content to your next meeting or text thread! As prayer partners, you'll hold one another accountable to read the daily posts. But not in a annoying way, you know, just a regular-person-trying-to-help-you-do-what-you-really-want-to-do way. Like we mentioned above, each day's post will contain a question for you to discuss with your prayer partner. You can do this in whatever way you so choose (email, text, phone, Voxer, over coffee, etc.). But these questions go a little deeper than the typical, "What struck you about this reflection?" We're really striving to be vulnerable here and form a bond with our prayer partners while strengthen our bond with Christ. Most importantly, as prayers partners, you'll be dedicated to praying for one another through the month and beyond. We encourage you to reach out and select your prayer partner before the Prayer Pledge begins if possible! Text them the link to this blog post so they can sign up, share it on social, or email it to a friend. Interceding for a New Pentecost The final aspect to the 2019 Prayer Pledge, in conjunction with our theme, is a group intercessory prayer for an openness to the Holy Spirit. Each week, we will be praying for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit on various people and groups. We'll start small, and widen our intercession as the month moves forward. We'll pray for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit: Week 1: In our own souls Week 2: In our families Week 3: In our local communities and dioceses Week 4: In our Church Week 5: In the entire world What to Do Now to Get Ready for the Prayer Pledge Ready to get ready for the new year? Ready for a "new you" by praying for a new Pentecost in your soul? We are, too, sister. Here are our next steps: Sign up to receive the Prayer Pledge to your inbox in the colorful box above. Ask the Lord if He has someone in mind to be your prayer partner. Then reach out to them! Share about the Prayer Pledge by word of mouth and on social media. Use the hashtag #prayerpledge We're going to be praying powerful prayers, friends. Can you imagine what it will be like to have thousands of us praying for an increase of openness to the Holy Spirit in our world?! Keep walking through Advent and preparing your hearts for Christmas. We'll catch you in the new year. Prayer Pledge Days Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Will you be joining us for this year's Prayer Pledge? Let us know who your prayer partner is in the comments! [bctt tweet="New Year, New Pentecost: Join Us for the 2019 Prayer Pledge! #BISblog #prayerpledge //" username="to_the_heights"]

You've probably already bought all of the gifts. But. I haven't. Have I ever told you that I'm extremely bad at Christmas? Because I am. This is year I've been praying my way through Advent (and LOVING it!), but I'm not quite caught up on the Christmas train. So in case you're like me, and you're extremely behind OR maybe you're just not a natural *gift-giver* (also like me), I am with you. Truly. So I thought I'd send over a little gift guide to help you/us out: Encourage Bible Verse Cards // Hail Mary Print // Catholic Journaling Bible // Magnificat Candle BIS Liturgical Planners // Our Father Print // imago Dei Wristlet // Behold Study Guide BIS Stickers // Wind Necklace // She Who Believed Tee // Bearing Light Print I hope this was slightly helpful. Amazon probably has better gift guides than I do, anyway. BUT please know in order to get your Christmas gifts from us, you need to order by Tuesday, December 18th (for the U.S. gals). For international gals, you can order, but the order will arrive after Christmas. I'm grateful for you, sweet sister. I hope you're having an amazing Advent, and even if you're not, please be assured of my prayers for you. I'm glad to be journeying with you in community and prayer, and I can't wait to see what the Lord reveals to us in the next year. LITURGICAL PLANNERS Our Liturgical Planners are based on the Litany of Humility. Enter into prayer every day alongside this beautiful Litany. Order your days in His peace. GET YOUR PLANNER

The LORD, your God, is in your midst, a mighty savior, Who will rejoice over you with gladness, and renew you in his love, Who will sing joyfully because of you. // Zephaniah 3:17 Thank you for these beautiful wallpapers designed by Joe Kim of PAL Campaign. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Blessed is She awoke in me to the desire for female-led and supported organizations. But it felt hard to connect. I thought back to my childhood and what I saw in parish life. I knew they were the ladies who sold baked goods frequently outside the church doors. They set out desserts. They ran raffles. We snickered with the young priest who had the gall to joke about their name, the “Young Ladies’ Institute.” They were young when it was founded, it was said. That was all I knew until I received a check in response to our son’s diagnosis. They prayed for us. They filled my mother’s kitchen countertops with platters of fruit and crackers and cheese at my daughter’s funeral. Their energy filled the kitchen as they washed dishes while I looked at our future as a parent of a child who died. The Young Ladies' Institute I learned what it was about. Founded nearly 120 years ago, three women rallied together around a single woman, diagnosed but unable to support herself. Rather than go through the “system” (inexistent back then) these women turned to each other, the first Catholic women’s organization of its kind. Solidarity…subsidiarity in the flesh of the feminine genius. Now, its monthly meetings would feel like a time-warp to the civic associations of the 1950s, if it were not for the spirited women who run them. They stick to Robert’s Rules of Order, clumsily, especially among less experienced members like myself. But the rules make it timeless, feeding its survival. We do not realize what we have. Analogous to the Knights of Columbus, Y.L.I. is female-driven, relationship-drive,n and food-driven. The mothers of our traditions knew the first step to healing the heart was filling the stomach. [bctt tweet="The mothers of our traditions knew the first step to healing the heart was filling the stomach. #BISblog //" via="no"] Order and Community In The First Society, author and theologian Scott Hahn introduces us to thoughts of Robert Nisbet. “Nisbet recognized that communities that serve important social functions in our lives, such as families and parishes and social clubs, give structure to our day-to-day living, and thus contribute to our identity.” Y.L.I. is referred to as an “order.” Going through these historical documents, the term surprised me. Hahn shines some light on this. “In the church, then, members of an order have specific prescribed responsibilities within the larger Body of Christ in the same way civil institutions have specific responsibilities within society.” Service He writes that the Catholic Church does not just minister to the spiritual needs of her people, but to the natural order, providing for material and financial needs as well. The service of the Church in these spheres is a witness that the life of faith cannot be relegated to the sidelines, Sunday service, separate from our work-life and our home-life. We are called to a radical integration, to be Catholic wherever we are, to draw our identity from our Catholicism. We learn who we are in context, first in the family, then in community, then politically. Community and parish organizations form intermediary groups that facilitate our living and add to the sense of community. “When the functions of these communities fade or are replaced, such as by the government, their strength as identity-forming institutes fades as well.” We stop knowing who we are. Leaving a vacuum, Hahn argues the state and—particularly in the United States—the market will readily step into the fill the gaps. As the misinterpretation and destruction of marriage in society grew, identity politics became a guiding force, along with brand loyalty. We must find identity in something, and that something must come in context. We cannot decide it on our own. [bctt tweet="The Catholic Church does not just minister to the spiritual needs of her people, but to the natural order, providing for material and financial needs as well. #BISblog //" via="no"] Uniting Women in Catholicism Y.L.I. stands out as a structured, stable association that brings women together periodically for meetings, periodically for fundraisers, and periodically for prayer. They support each other through prayer, through a sense of unity, through financial protection, formally through a death benefit, materially through funeral reception support. We need organizations like this in our lives. But, in some ways, we no longer know how to associate with them. Unlike a Facebook group which we check in from time to time, digitally and with a low commitment, groups like this demand patience and navigation among different personalities and will call on its members to give time and skill. Groups like Blessed is She rise to a whole new level with retreats and Blessed Brunches. It feels hard to commit, but the potential fruit is beyond imagination. Founded in San Francisco, Y.L.I. exists only in four states: California, Oregon, Washington, and Hawaii. It is all there, the answers we need to the questions, how to keep our communities alive, to keep our Church visible, to be Catholic. Not just in on the weekends, but as a regular part of life, fully integrated within our identity. Are you a part of the Young Ladies' Institute? Let us know in the comments! [bctt tweet="The Church in Daily Life through the Young Ladies’ Institute #BISblog //" via="no"] Kathryn Anne Casey is a graduate of Divine Mercy University, freelance writer, housewife, and mother of four children. Her weekly newspaper column “Here’s to the Good Life!” and blog focus on art, psychology, consumerism and the importance of local community. Find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

I learned about St. John of the Cross over a three-month course while studying abroad in Rome. Fr. Paul Murray was our Irish Dominican Professor, who also happened to be a poet, a professor, and a writer. For three hours each week I eagerly opened my mind to all he taught us about St. John of the Cross. One of the phrases which is commonly associated with St. John of the Cross is “the dark night of the soul.” This is a stage where we are so closely united to Christ that we long to be with Him, and to be separated from Him brings us pain. Thinking about the pain of this separation makes me grateful for Fr. Paul Murray’s words, “It is enough to want Heaven and it is enough to want to want Heaven.” Of course, this doesn’t let us off the hook. In order to grow in holiness we need to overcome our own ego and conform our wills to God’s. Thankfully, we have St. John of the Cross to lead the way. [bctt tweet="It is enough to want Heaven and it is enough to want to want Heaven. -Fr. Paul Murray #BISblog //" via="no"] St. John’s Formation Saint John of the Cross was born in the mid-sixteenth century in a small village near Avila, Spain. His family was very poor and his father died when he was just a young boy. At 18 years old he entered college and towards the end of his college education, he sensed a clear calling to the religious life. At 21 he entered the Carmelite monastery in his hometown. He continued studying humanities and philosophy for three years at the prestigious University of Salamanca. Four years later he was ordained a priest and celebrated his first Mass in his hometown. It is here that he met his soon-to-be good friend, St. Teresa of Avila. Friends and Reformers Shortly after they first met, St. Teresa shared with John her hopes to reform the Carmelite order to its original rule with the hopes of helping the order embrace the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience. She asked St. John for his help and support in this mission. Just five years after their initial meeting, and at St. Teresa’s request, John became the confessor and vicar of the Monastery where St. Teresa was the prioress. Not only did the two share a great friendship, but together they were also reformers and later became Doctors of the Church. One of his major works, The Ascent of Mount Carmel, closely resembles St. Teresa of Avila’s Interior Castle. Both of these literary masterpieces shed light on the slow, but vital purification of the soul towards Christian perfection. Imprisonment St. John’s work to reform the Carmelites did not come with ease. In fact, he received orders from his own superiors telling him to depart from Avila and return home. However, John stood his ground and refused to leave because he had already received approval from the nuncio, a greater authority within his order. The Carmelites, who did not respect the authority of the nuncio, then kidnapped John and imprisoned him in the monastery in Toledo. He lived for nine months in a tiny cell that was hardly big enough for him to lie down in. His diet consisted of bread and water, and every week he was brought out to be lashed in front of the community. One friar had mercy on John’s soul and would kindly smuggle paper to him which John used to write poetry. He did not let the darkness of the cell stifle the light of Christ in his soul. [bctt tweet="St. John of thee Cross did not let the darkness of the cell stifle the light of Christ in his soul. #BISblog //" via="no"] The Three Ways St. John wrote about the three stages of the spiritual life, including, the dark night of the soul. 1. The Purgative Way (Spiritual Childhood) This is when one begins to break bad habits, overcome temptation, and grow in virtue. At the end of this stage one can experience something called the “dark night of the senses.” It is a stage when God calls us to detachment not only from material things, but also from spiritual consolations. Here God purges sin from our heart in order to make more room for Him to reign. 2. The Illuminative Way (Spiritual Adolescence) This is a time of continued growth in virtue, charity, and prayer. One may still experience the “dark night of the senses,” but in this time of detachment we are growing in the life of virtue and God is further revealing Himself to us. 3. The Unitive Way (Spiritual Adulthood) In this stage, one has fallen so deeply in love with God that their desire is for Him alone. One has moved beyond the “dark night of the senses," but may then experience the “dark night of the soul.” This stage is one which can cause what St. Teresa of Avila calls a “wound” of love, a “delightful pain.” She writes: This action of love is so powerful that the soul dissolves with desire...This pain reaches to the soul’s very depths and that when He who wounds it draws out the arrow, it indeed seems, in accord with the deep love the soul feels, that God is drawing these very depths after Him. Let’s remember that like St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa was also a mystic. Her words may seem beyond us, but they do still give us a glimpse of how deep her love for Christ was. The deepness is mysterious. Getting There In the Ascent of Mount Carmel St. John of the Cross writes about how to achieve this Divine Union and ascent to the top of the mountain. He writes: In this detachment the spiritual soul finds its quiet and repose; for since it covets nothing, nothing wearies it when it is lifted up, and nothing oppresses it when it is cast down, because it is in the centre of its humility. He speaks of uniting our sufferings with Christ and clinging to the Cross. He sketched an image which shows Jesus at the moment He surrendered His spirit to the Father. When we surrender our own Spirit to the Father we allow ourselves permission to be removed from the noise of the world. Then, in the “quiet and repose” which St. John speaks of, we find freedom. Just think of the Our Father prayer, “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done....deliver us from evil.” In our surrender, we are given the grace to be freed from the bondage of sin. Reaching the Summit Someone once told me that it is not that our will ought to be conformed to Christ, but rather that it should be united with Christ. To conform means to be obedient to, but to unite means to become one with. When our wills have become united with Christ’s, we do not have to put so much effort forth in fulfilling His will, because already we are walking in-step with Him. What spiritual stage do you find yourself in? What things do you think God is asking you to detach from in order to make more room for Him to dwell in your heart? [bctt tweet="St. John of the Cross: Reaching the Summit #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

For the last couple of years during the holiday season, my husband and I have carved out time away from our kids and normal routine for an “end-of-year retreat.” Maybe the word “retreat” conjures up visions of sleeping bags on gym floors, or team-building exercises, or passing the tissue box around a circle of weeping women. But in its most basic form, a retreat is simply a chance to get away from your usual routine, an opportunity to quiet the distractions and noise, a period of time where you withdraw from the to-do lists and iPhone notifications. During our end-of-year retreat, we get away for a night, go out to dinner, and talk–like, really talk–about the year we’re leaving behind and the one up ahead. Why Make an End-of-Year Retreat? This practice has become one of my favorite parts of the holiday season. A chance to take a step back and evaluate, to celebrate the victories and talk through the hardships. To recap what the past year held for us each individually, as well as our family as a whole, and to dream about what the next 365 days might bring. Whether you’re married or single, a college student or empty nester, I think the concept of an end-of-year retreat is really valuable. For me, it is a huge part of my desire to live with intention instead of by default. It’s a beautiful way to close the door on one year and prayerfully embrace the next. [bctt tweet="An end-of-year retreat is a beautiful way to close the door on one year and prayerfully embrace the next. #BISblog //" via="no"] How to Make an End-of-Year Retreat Whether it’s a morning at home with no distractions, two hours at the coffee shop with your headphones in, or a night away with your spouse, a time of retreat is truly a gift you can give yourself. Clear the calendar and commit to giving yourself the gift of time to recap, reflect and dream, and pray! I love to have a notebook or journal, Bible, and this goal planner with me during my retreat time. If you’re interested in doing an end-of-year retreat yourself, here are my top five tips to try! 1. Count the Fruit We like to start our retreat by counting the fruit. What can we give thanks for? What good things grew? In the day-to-day, it can sometimes be hard to see what God is up to or how He is answering our prayers. It can start to feel like the whole year was a wash, that maybe we have nothing to show for it. The point here is to zoom out a bit and look at the past year as a whole. Good things grew, no matter what your year looked like. Name those things. Write them in a journal, even. We get out our wedding album and jot a few highlights down on one of the blank pages at the end. Imagine fifty years from now, having a record of all the best parts of your years. What a gift! 2. Dig into the Nuts and Bolts Next, we talk about what’s working and what’s not. What elements of our routine are really serving us and our family well? What needs improvement? How do we feel about our kids' school situations, or our current jobs? Does our budgeting system need work? Because we are list people, we just write it all down on a sheet of paper. One column for things that are working, and one column for things that aren’t. This helps us know where to focus our efforts. There’s no point fixing something that isn’t broken. So making a list helps us to devote our energy to tweaking the routines, rhythms, and systems that really need to be tweaked. 3. Revisit (or Write!) Your Value Statement We have a family value statement that helps guide all the decisions we make for our family. During our end-of-year retreat, we revisit this value statement. As we change and grow as individuals, as our family changes and grows, this value statement evolves as well. We tweak our value statement as necessary and talk about ways we can live it out in a tangible way. For instance, our family statement might include a commitment to serving others. How can we practically live that out? Maybe it means visiting a soup kitchen one Friday a month to serve a meal with our kids, or shopping for the parish giving tree gifts together. We brainstorm about how to turn these lofty ideals into real-life experiences for our family. The point here isn’t to necessarily make solid plans, but just to get the wheels turning on how to turn the things you value into the way you live. If you’ve never created a value statement for yourself or your family, this post has some really great tips! 4. Set Some Goals Once we’ve revisited our value statement and brainstormed some ways to turn those values into actionable plans, we set some goals for the year ahead. They might be financial goals like saving a certain amount for a car or paying off a certain amount of debt, or parenting goals like being more present with our children. They might be small goals or God-sized goals that feel a little impossible. We talk about all areas of our lives: our health and wellness, finances, friendships, family, marriage, jobs and faith. We chat through some goals in each area. We'll write these down on a sheet of paper to revisit throughout the year. Writing it down also helps us be accountable to one another. 5. Offer Your Year to God I always love when we can include Mass or Adoration (or both!) as the final part of our end-of-year retreat. To end our time of reflection and dreaming by giving it all to the One who makes it all possible. After all, you can talk, reflect, dream, and plan all you want but it’s all pretty lifeless without inviting God into it, amen? Whether at Mass or Adoration, I envision myself laying all my dreams and plans for the coming year on the altar, my offering to Jesus in that moment. In surrender, I ask Him to take everything we’ve talked about and to make His ways clear, to close the door on the opportunities or dreams we aren’t meant to pursue and to fling wide the door to the ones we are. I pray for an abundance of blessings, as well as the strength to suffer well all the crosses that will surely come our way over the next year. [bctt tweet="I pray for an abundance of blessings, as well as the strength to suffer well all the crosses that will surely come our way over the next year. #BISblog //" via="no"] Taking this Retreat is Worth It You are worth setting aside some time to reflect, pray, dream, and plan. Your goals and callings are worth it. Your marriage and family are worth it. Living with intention certainly takes effort, time, and planning. But in the end, it is so worth it. Do you take an end-of-year retreat? What does yours look like? LITURGICAL PLANNERS Our Liturgical Planners are based on the Litany of Humility. Enter into prayer every day alongside this beautiful Litany. Order your days in His peace. GET YOUR PLANNER

It’s that most wonderful time of year when children are bribed with candy canes to allow adults to finish their egg nog and we’re constantly scrambling to get that best deal on Amazon Prime for just the right gift for just that right person. The walls of our social media feeds and our drug stores are littered with things we might need or things we may not. In the spirit of not sounding like a total scrooge, it’s also the most celebratory blessed time of year to be Catholic because we are joyfully awaiting the birth of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! The Santa of My Childhood What would Advent be without a little or a lot of Santa behind the scenes as well? Our childhood religious Advent calendars had jolly ol' Santa peeking around to see Baby Jesus, along with the shepherds. Many Christians around the world merge Santa into their Advent celebrations. We’re preparing our hearts for Jesus and our hearths for Santa. Growing up, we put out cookies and milk for Santa. My mom would artfully maneuver the cookies look like Santa had enjoyed them (God love her, now that I’m a mom I’m confident she bit into them out of more than just obligation. She probably hadn’t had much time to sit down herself and enjoy a treat!). Meanwhile, my dad rushed us outside to “look for the reindeer” as my mom hustled to dump gifts under the tree. And nibble cookies. Making the Santa Decision for My Own Family When my husband and I started having children, we talked about the holidays. Would we do the Santa thing? Would we not? What were compelling reasons one way or the other? As two lawyers, I guarantee we like to find compelling reasons for and against all situations. And Santa was no exception. The first few years we kinda half-heartedly did the Santa thing. But when our oldest turned three years old and began asking, repeatedly, about the where-why-how-who-when of the situation, we both shrugged and decided nah on Santa. We started lighting a birthday candle and singing happy birthday to the newborn King instead of setting out cookies and milk. We found a narrative that fit better for our family. Our kiddos are 8, 6, 4, and 2. They’re still little, but old enough where the narrative has taken shape. Our Reasons for Being Santa-Free Some people will argue that "doing the Santa thing" is a commercial watering down of Jesus’ birth, a red herring to keep the focus off the Messiah. Others will say it’s just Saint Nick elongated from his feast day on the 6th of December to the 25th. Still a small pack of others may say it’s actually sacrilegious to perpetuate the myth as Catholics. I don’t think it’s a scourge on the face of humanity! Neither do I think it’s a desecration on tradition to omit him from the narrative. Each family should discern what suits their narrative for the season. It’s certainly not a moral battle we have to wage on the Eve with the extended relatives! Our reasons came down to these two concepts: focus fantasy What is the focus of gift giving? What are the reasons we give each other gifts? Why focus on someone else giving our kids gifts who isn’t physically manifest? And then, what are the purposes of fantasy? What leaps of imagination do we ask them to make? How is a story about a kind man (loosely related at this point in the culture to a Saint) determining if they’re naughty or nice one that’s great enough to keep going? Focus We give gifts to celebrate Jesus’ birthday. We tell our kids these are birthday gifts at His party! Additionally, we prep to discern what gift we will give to Him this year. Our time, our talents, our treasures. The relatives are kind and give gifts, too. The Godparents, the special friends. These people are generally understanding of our narrative and tailor in with it. Fantasy I think kids can be enchanted by magic stories and fairy tales, Santa being one. But at the end of the day, the arch of our Catholic Faith does require leaps and trust and invisible things. These other stories and mythologies are not real truth. Sure, my kids can discern stories from truth; but only when we're honest and tell them that stories provide morals to glean and lessons to learn. Truth provides the ultimate answers to questions in our lives, the ones we can’t get to the bottom of ourselves. Plus, I remember when my oldest sister told me Santa wasn’t real and I felt crushed. As if the reason for joy and gift giving was gone. HELLLO! Jesus is that reason so it’s easier for us to cut out the middle jolly man and stick with the birthday Boy. Santa or Not...It's Up to You! However you do it, you run the risk of flack from friends and loved ones. Traditions and establishing your own traditions are sensitive and sweet things. It’s okay to break the mold and ditch Santa if you’re feeling like we did. If you’re a wee tired, you may also find relief in keeping just one narrative at the center of the season. Happy Advent and Merry Christmas, sisters! What say you? Does your family refrain from the Santa narrative? Why or why not? [bctt tweet="One Family's Santa-Free Christmas #BISblog //" via="no"] Nell O’Leary is a recovering lawyer turned blogger, speaker, and sewer of baby goods while tending to her husband and four kiddos in the great city of Saint Paul, Minnesota. She serves as Managing Editor for Blessed is She and can down a hot cocoa in no time flat. Find out more about her here.

A pilgrimage is more than just a trip to a place of religious interest. It is a physical journey that coincides with a spiritual journey to deeper union, surrender, and trust in God. In July 2018, I had the privilege of making a pilgrimage to the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City, Mexico. I was on my way home from the Holy Land, and through Divine Providence, the most reasonable flight had a layover in Mexico City. I decided to extend my layover and stay for 48 hours. While I have traveled to many Catholic pilgrimage locations throughout the world, there is something very special about the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe. Listen to these words that she spoke to Juan Diego of December 9, 1531: Juanito, the humblest of my children, know and understand that I am the ever virgin Mary, Mother of the true God through whom all things live. It is my ardent desire that a church be erected here so that in it I can show and bestow my love, compassion, help, and protection to all who inhabit this land and to those others who love me, that they might call upon me and confide in me. Places Matter to Catholics Places are important, especially to Catholics. We can kneel at the spot where Mary gave her fiat in Nazareth, touch the place where Jesus was born in Bethlehem, swim in the Sea of Galilee, stand at the foot of the Cross on Calvary, go to Mass in the empty tomb in Jerusalem, pray at the tombs of our favorite Saints, venerate first, second, and third class relics, and walk the Camino in Spain. When Mary appeared to Juan Diego, she requested a Church to be built. She wanted there to be a place in the New World where she could pour out her generous love. She desired for there to be a place where we could bring our intentions to her. Her final words to Juan Diego on December 12, 1531 are so beautiful: Listen and understand, my humblest son. There is nothing to frighten and distress you. Do not let your heart be troubled, and let nothing upset you. Is it not I, your Mother, who is here? Are you not under my protection? Are you not, fortunately, in my care? Mary wants to protect us. She is here for us. She cares for us. The Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe Today, the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe in Mexico City receives around 20 million visitors every year, many who have traveled for days on foot. Traveling by foot to Catholic shrines adds an Incarnational dimension to our journey to union with God. Inside the shrine, the sacraments of Confession and Eucharist and the celebration of liturgy are moments of incredible grace. At the Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe, there are over 30 Masses throughout the day. There are also several priests hearing confessions (in multiple languages) every day of the year from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. What to Expect The Basilica of Our Lady of Guadalupe is located six miles from Mexico City International Airport. I felt safe in the neighborhood, but watch out for pickpockets, especially if you take the subway or bus. Uber is another safe option for getting there. Mexico City is ranked number one in the world for traffic congestion, so give yourself extra travel time. A friend described the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe as “Catholic Disney Land.” It’s not quite that big, but there’s a lot to see! The tilma is displayed above the main altar in the Basilica of Santa María de Guadalupe. But I would also recommend visiting the Chapel of the Blessed Sacrament, Chapel of Saint Joseph, Guadalupana Crypt, Chapel of San Miguel (where the Virgin of Guadalupe first met Juan Diego and gave him the Castilian roses), Parish of Santa María de Guadalupe, Capilla del Pocito, Baptistry, Chapel of Blessings, Crypt in Mariana Square, San Juan Sanctuary, the Carillon, Museum, Library, and Historical Archives. There are free tours available every day, but I preferred walking around at my own pace. Get Your Souvenirs Blessed! Don’t be surprised by all the vendors selling gadgets and gizmos aplenty. Maybe you’ll want to put on a sombrero and take a photo riding a fake donkey. Apparently, these photos are very popular, because there are photographers around every corner. Religious souvenirs are a beautiful way to remember and renew your encounter with God during the pilgrimage. Many people purchase images of Our Lady of Guadalupe and have the priest bless the image with Holy Water after the Mass. Acts of Devotion There are roses everywhere! In the little marketplace near the entrance, there are several florists who arrange and sell roses to bring to Our Lady. Pilgrims often make their pilgrimage by moving forward on their knees across the piazza all the way up to the communion rail in the sanctuary of the Church. The devotion of the pilgrims is so beautiful! The tilma is about 5.5 x 3.5 feet tall and it is framed in bullet proof glass. It is visible from the sanctuary of the Basilica, but you can get closer by walking down to the crypt. There are four moving walkways where pilgrims pass beneath the image. There wasn’t a line when I was there, so I may have passed back and forth a few dozen times! This is a place of incredible celebration: baptisms, quinceañeras, wedding anniversaries, family reunions. Mary brings everyone together here under her starry mantle of protection. And so many people wear the miraculous image on their clothing. My favorite was the little two-year-old girl wearing a tilma dress with the image on the front. In the seven years after the apparition of Our Lady of Guadalupe, nine million conversions took place in Mexico. Conversions and healing are still happening there today. Today, you can submit your prayer requests directly to the Basilica here. Tidbits about the Tilma The image of Mary has no brush strokes nor animal or mineral elements in the pigment. The tilma maintains a constant temperature of 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, the same as that of a living person. When viewed under magnification, Mary’s eyes contain the image of 13 individuals in the scene of Juan Diego unfurling the tilma before the archbishop. In 1785, a worker accidentally spilled strong nitric acid solvent onto a large portion of the image itself. The image should have deteriorated immediately, but instead it self-restored over the next 30 days. On November 14, 1921, an fanatic offered a large bouquet of roses under the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe and camouflaged 29 sticks of dynamite inside. The explosion crumbled a marble rail, twisted a brass crucifix and shattered windows nearby. Miraculously, the image of Our Lady was unharmed. The stars on Our Lady's mantle are in the exact position as the stars before dawn on the morning of December 12, 1531. The black ribbon around Mary’s waist shows that she is expecting a child. When scientists placed a stethoscope below the black band at the waist of Our Lady, they heard rhythmic repeating heartbeats at 115 beats per minute. The same as that of a baby in womb. Want to Learn More about Our Lady of Guadalupe? Here are a few resources to help you learn more about Our Lady of Guadalupe: The Lady of Guadalupe by Tomie dePaola The Beautiful Lady: Our Lady of Guadalupe by Pat Mora Our Lady of Guadalupe: Mother of the Civilization of Love First by Carl Anderson and Eduardo Chavez A Handbook on Guadalupe by Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate Guadalupe Mysteries: Deciphering the Code by Grzegorz Gorny and Janusz Rosikon Movie: Guadalupe: The Miracle and the Message, narrated by Jim Caviezel Do you have a devotion to Our Lady of Guadalupe? Have you ever visited the shrine? How are you celebrating her feast day? [bctt tweet="The Feast and Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe #BISblog //" via="no"] Rose Coleman is a regular contributor to the BIS blog and a devotion writer. She is a contemplative in action who delights in all things beautiful. Her adventurous heart has traveled many places—from circumnavigating the globe on a ship during college to some years in the convent as a religious sister. Exuberant from her childhood, she is an elementary school teacher who learns so much from her students. You can find out more about her here.   This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

I was alone. I did not know about the blogs or books available. My closest friends were still single. The only person I knew who had had a miscarriage what a classmate of mine, who openly shared her story, the day before I miscarried. We called the church. The pastor walked us through the steps of grief and blessings of the Church with a sincerity and sensitivity. He used the advice of Rachel’s Vineyard as a guide. He did not know any other resources himself. The resource has come. Grieving Together: A Couple’s Journey through Miscarriage, by Laura Kelly Fanucci and Franco David Fanucci, has everything I can imagine a book dedicated to the emptying grief of miscarriage needs. My miscarriages happened seven and nine years ago. We have been through darkness and crises since then, and the previous losses faded to the background. I thought I knew everything I needed to know. The authors share Scripture verses that reach into the very depths of my heart. God was with me. Grieving Together In the first chapter, which addresses the biological mechanisms behind miscarriage and medical terminology, I learned what type of miscarriage I had experienced. There are so many questions, and once ushered out of the doctor's office, so many of them go unanswered. We pack them away with the keepsakes we designated, the Mass card with the baby’s name on it, the hospital record from when the bleeding started. The rest of the book is dedicated to understanding the aftermath of the tragedy and the hope that is our call. Marriage and Child Loss Compounding the loss of the child is the loss of unity sometimes experienced by the couple who cannot reconnect in their grief. Grieving Together takes a unique position as a joint effort by also reaching out and sharing the perspective and experience of the father of the child who has died. While I am taken back in memories, for the first time in years, I ask my husband questions about his experience when we lost our babies. Yes, he still thinks about them. We discuss grief and the series of crises that shaped our lives for two years. He shares simply and succinctly where the anger was for him and how he felt we coped. How we were together on it. We gave ourselves space to do what each person needed. We knew we would grieve differently. It is not possible to anticipate how one will act or what one will need. The Fanuccis do not try. Instead, they bring awareness to the possible differences and allow the stories to speak for themselves. Not Alone The stories! Yes, with each chapter is a couple’s story, told from both perspectives. Sometimes jointly in one narrative, sometimes separately. Stories of unwanted-but-accepted-with fear-and-trembling pregnancies, stories of longed-for-then-lost pregnancies, stories of a miscarriage followed by healthy births. For all the diversity of experience out there, the Fanuccis collected a compelling set of stories. I found echoes of my own story there, again and again. When I read a story from woman who experienced miscarriage, a prenatal diagnosis and infant loss, I thought to myself how not-alone I felt. Every story is unique, but maybe my normal, is more normal that I have realized. The authors consider how the shared experience of miscarriage can strengthen the relationship between the mother and father. Allowing our unique grief, my husband and I met each other so much more honestly than ever before. Not alone… Offering Support The third part looks outward to friends and family with recommendations on how to support those who have experienced a miscarriage. Every October, pregnancy and infant loss awareness month, the blogosphere is inundated with advice on what not to say to someone in grief. The authors take is a step further and higher by acknowledging the intention of the speaker, digging into the meaning of common cliches and offering concrete examples on how to better convey that same heartfelt meaning: to be able to tell the person who is grieving, you are not alone. Spiritual support offered includes Saint stories, prayer resources, prayers and rituals of the Catholic Church. At the end, there are 20 more pages of resources for those who grieve and those who wish to support, including the parish. In Heaven, online, in person, I am not alone. The questions after each chapter, seeing how powerful they have been used in an online Facebook group have me thinking, maybe I could host a small group and use this book. We are not alone. Who in Your Life Needs this Resource? Perhaps It's You? Grieving Together, published by Our Sunday Visitor, is now for sale. To get a taste of this remarkable little book, Our Sunday Visitor is offering a free e-book with excerpts from Grieving Together, an amazing resource for anyone asking that question of how to support those who are grieving with comfort and not cliches. Have you read this book yet? What are your thoughts? How has it helped you grieve your own loss or grieve the loss of someone you love? [bctt tweet="Grieving Together: A Couple’s Journey through Miscarriage #BISblog //" via="no"] Kathryn Anne Casey is a graduate of Divine Mercy University, freelance writer, housewife, and mother of four children. Her weekly newspaper column “Here’s to the Good Life!” and blog focus on art, psychology, consumerism and the importance of local community. Find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. 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Prepare the way of the Lord. // Luke 3:4 This week's beautiful wallpaper is from Katrina of Rose Harrington. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Every year, we are bound to witness heated discussions about the relevance of Santa Claus within our Catholic circles. Good Catholics exist on both sides of the debate: Is it a lie, and therefore a sin, to teach kids that Santa Claus is real? The Church has not, and likely won’t ever, make an official statement for parents to abide by. In and of itself, that actually answers the question about whether participating in this cultural phenomenon is a sin. The Magisterium has two duties: To preserve Truth. To teach Truth. This means they have to advise the faithful on what is a danger to their souls. Santa is harmless. I mean, have you ever seen believing in him on an Examination of Conscience the same way you’ve seen astrology and ouija boards? The unofficial silence from the Catholic Church on the well-known tradition actually verifies that it is not a sin. Ipso facto, it must not be a lie. How can this be? To start, let’s clarifying a couple of terms... What We Mean by “Santa Claus” Within our community, there’s probably no need to go into a lengthy explanation of the reality of St. Nicholas. We all know that he was an actual historical person. A wealthy orphan who gave generously, Nicholas grew up and became a bishop. His generous nature was imitated through the ages as Christianity spread across the globe. Due to changes in language across countries, the Saint’s name became secularized in every culture to which he was introduced. In America, he is now known as “Santa Claus” because that is the phonetic spelling of the “Sinterklaas” tradition the Dutch settlers brought with them to New York (Sinter = saint; “klaas” = Nicholas). This is not the “Santa” to which we are referring. Surely no Catholic parent takes issue with their child believing in the Saint, or in celebrating his feast. Rather, it’s the nordic-clothed, reindeer-owning, elf-employing, jolly fat-man who can fly around the world in one night. How do we rectify these clearly made-up aspects of Santa? The answer can be found by once again clarifying our terms. What We Mean by “Real” Modern society measures truth by the senses. The black and white, what can be proven without a speck of doubt. This is the same measuring stick parents use when they take the stance “Santa is not real.” However, this black and white approach to reality is actually a narrow understanding of the nature of language, of thought, and of truth. Truth includes so much more than what can be sensed or proven. As Catholics, we know this: the existence of God is the epitome of these imperceptible realities. This is the measuring stick parents are using when they take the affirmative stance on the existence of Santa. When we tell our children “Santa is real,” we are affirming the existence of the Santa Claus of a child’s imagination, of myth and of fable. Not of a literal North Pole Dweller. And this mythical Santa actually has value for our children beyond the gifts he brings to them. You see, imagination feeds reality. The Role of Wonder Most adults still have this same sense of wonder they had when they believed in Santa Claus. It’s just manifested in different ways. Consider people’s attitudes toward the Star Wars franchise, or fictional TV shows like Parks and Recreation. Even though we know the actual events and characters aren’t real, the story still exists in hearts and minds in a very real way. They also have a very real impact on our world. For better or worse, we ultimately end up imitating these characters. Isn’t the example of Santa something we want our children to imitate? The Importance of the Intangible Myths actually play a huge role in the proper development of the human psyche. Psychologists cite them as one of the crucial ways children learn to interact with the unseen world. They introduce us to the path of wonder, awe, and spiritual enlightenment. In other words, myths help us develop our spiritual lives! This makes sense. After all, humans are the only part of God’s creation that are both material and spiritual. We have to appeal to both aspects of our existence when it comes to directing our children. Within the Santa Claus myth, we can appeal to both aspects of our children’s understanding and help them to learn some incredibly valuable lessons year after year. Lessons like... Things they can’t see (Santa) results in something they can see (presents). This lays groundwork for the spiritual understanding of many aspects of God, including creation and how He continues to provide for us throughout our whole lives. Good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior is punished. This is something we definitely want them to learn before they stand before God at the end of their lives. Santa makes a difference because it’s not just Mom and Dad doing the punishing. On a similar note: someone is always watching. Just because you can’t see Santa doesn’t mean he doesn’t see what you’re up to. This accountability can help us learn self control and honesty. We are all connected to one another. Santa visits everyone. He does not pick and choose. He loves and respects all. This sets an example for our children to follow. It also lays a foundation for understanding the universality of the Catholic Church and the Mystical Body of Christ. The good we do on earth is long-lasting. Look at St. Nick. He lives on, century after century, because of his virtue and generosity. This lays the groundwork for an understanding of the reward of eternal life. It is better to give than to receive. This one you get to experience more as the one who plays “Santa.” And it’s actually a really wise way to help your kids when they’re starting to suspect the material existence of their yearly Christmas visitor. Obviously, these same lessons can be learned through different means. But why deny the fun of Santa if we don’t have to? Santa: A “Real-ly” Good Starting Point for Catholics Pope St. John Paul II once said: Man… cannot fully find himself except through a sincere gift of himself. Santa Claus is a wonderful tool to help infuse this understanding in our children from an early age. At their youngest, kids gain an understanding of the joy of gifts through receiving. As they grow, give gifts to others, and eventually become a Santa themselves, they gain an understanding of the joy of giving. And though this lesson is learned in many other ways throughout the course of life, there is just something about the “magic,” “sparkle,” and “cheer” of Santa Claus that makes the truth more visceral for young hearts and minds. Don’t we want to help them see the deeper spiritual meaning in the ordinary? The Real Mission of Santa Claus Ultimately, the mission of Santa is the mission of every disciple: to bring the joy of Christ to the world. That is real… and certainly something in which I want my children to believe. How about you? Does your family "do" Santa? Why or why not? And, as stated before, you can be of either opinion and still be a good Catholic in the state of grace. So as always, please keep the discussion in the comments civil :) [bctt tweet="Can Catholics Believe in Santa Claus? #BISblog //" username="graceswap"]

Ah, Christmas! The season when we actually look forward to mail. Well, that is until the credit card bills start pouring in. Envelopes that don’t resemble statements arrive alongside catalogs galore. Picture-perfect images of family and friends start to decorate stairwells, garlands, mirrors, and mantles throughout our homes. And the pressure is on to create the recipient list (Who sent me cards last year and who will make the cut this year?), find or design the perfect card (where did I put that Shutterfly coupon?), purchase stamps, hand address or label, and eventually mail that stack of cards. I’m exhausted just thinking about the recipient list and the thought of hurting someone’s feelings by leaving them out. The Ins and Outs of Sending Christmas Cards So I thought it would be fun to really think about this tradition and have a few laughs along the way. I laughed writing this, so I hope I’m not the only one! Form Letters In this world of social media, the need for the “A year in the life of…” letter really is unnecessary. Unless you are living under a rug, most people have been following you and all the photos and updates you have put online all year. Some would argue that Christmas cards are becoming obsolete with the ability to share your life online. But the point of a Christmas card is not to update everyone on what has been happening over the past year. It is to connect with those you love most across the miles. Or possibly, it’s just to say… via GIPHY As much as it is simpler to write a form letter, skip the yearbook update. Instead, write about missing the person who is apart from you, your prayers for someone’s healing, how God has been revealed to you through them, or how you appreciate their presence in your life. You might not be able to hold the ones you love this Christmas, but they can hold a card in their hand that expresses they are loved by you. via GIPHY First Year of Marriage It’s amazing what the first year of marriage is like for a new couple. Once the wedding celebration is over, the marriage begins. Two becoming one can cause some additional busyness and stress. If you got married this past year, you have the first year bonus of sending out more than just a Christmas card. You get to send the 2-for-1 card: the thank you note and Christmas card combination! Bonus #2, you already have you Christmas card list! More than likely, the people you invited to your wedding are the people you need to thank. Why not combine it with your first Christmas card together? via GIPHY So pick out the perfect image or images, design a card online, write a general thank you sentiment about how they made your year so memorable, and then write a personal thank you on the card for the gift you received. Oh yeah, get your hubby to help with his half of the guests in writing the personal messages. Remember, two are now one, so half the writing comes from his hand, too. via GIPHY Single And Loving It! If you are like me, single and living life to the fullest, you don’t have to wait for the “I Do’s” and the 2.5 children before you send a photo card. A few years ago, I was tired of only receiving cards from my married friends and decided that God has blessed me with an adventurous, abundant life. So, I decided to stop sending the cliche Hallmark card and instead made an awesome photo card. And you know what? My fam bam and tribe said it was one of their favorite cards because I was celebrating the vocation of the single life. So if you’re single, be proud of it and share that joy with the world! via GIPHY I Don’t Have Time If you simply don’t have time for Christmas cards, you should take the advise of one of my family members. via GIPHY She doesn’t send Christmas cards! She is too busy with work, family, and a social life that getting cards out in between Amazon shopping and feeding her family is nearly impossible. So instead, she sends a New Year’s Card! There are two things are great about this: She doesn’t see her children and grandchildren until Christmas, so that’s when they take a picture for her New Year’s card. She takes note of who sent her a card during the holidays and politely sends one back to the people who actually cared enough to send her one. via GIPHY She has more time after Christmas to sit down and reflect on the year and write notes to friends and family than prior to Christmas. Plus, as Catholics, we are still celebrating Christmas until the Epiphany. So feel no Catholic guilt about getting cards out during Advent. You're actually being more liturgically accurate by sending Christmas cards out during Christmas season! via GIPHY Keep It Real I’m all for the professional photo shoots and the matching onesies, but can we all vow to keep it real?! The point of a Christmas card is not to impress people (What? Are you kidding me? It’s not?) or make anyone jealous (Again, what?). No longer do we live in a time of impersonal cards with snowmen and Santa on the cover. We can allow our cards to share our faith, our hobbies, our adventures, and our personalities. via GIPHY One year, a family I know dressed up for Halloween as the cast of Star Wars and used it for their card. It was the most epic card ever! I’ve also had friends who do not post photos of their children on social media for very personal reasons (kudos to you sisters who do this) and their Christmas card is the one time a year I see them growing. It is so special to me. The Ultimate Reason for Christmas Cards So be real, and remember that this is not a competition for best Christmas card! The point is to send love and glad tidings to those you care about most. Christmas is the time of year we take stock in who matters most to us. It’s a moment when we step back, turn on a Hallmark holiday movie, write a well-intentioned message of love, and send it over the miles for $.60. For less than a few dollars (card and stamp included), you can make someone feel loved. I think we need more of that in the world today. If you don’t have time at Christmas to pour your heart out to someone on paper, pick a holiday and send a card out then. My vote would be Groundhog's Day! Oh, you were thinking Easter? You are much holier than I. At a minimum, say a prayer for every friend or family member who does send you a card this Christmas. They are conveying to you that… via GIPHY Happy writing (and labeling, and licking, and stamping)! via GIPHY Do you send out Christmas cards? What do you love/hate about it? [bctt tweet="Christmas Cards: Who, What, When, and Why? #BISblog //" username="SoCalTriciaT"] Tricia Tembreull is a regular contributor to the BIS blog and a devotion writer. She is a California girl with a boundless passion for life. After two decades of ministering to teens and youth ministers as a trainer, ministry mentor, and speaker in Catholic youth ministry, Tricia now serves as Campus Minister at USC Caruso Catholic Center. She loves adventure and seeks it everywhere she goes. As an avid foodie, she enjoys testing new recipes out on friends and family, gathering them around the table to encounter Christ in one another and be drawn to the satisfying unity we crave in the Eucharist.