You forgot to prep dinner before you left for work...again. Now, you have to whip together dinner, do the laundry, and prepare for tomorrow instead enjoying of the relaxing evening you’d envisioned. “I can never do anything right,” you tell yourself, “why do I even bother trying?” Then your thoughts take you down the past of feeling like your life is a mess and thinking that everyone else has it together—that everyone else’s life is perfect. We’ve all had moments like these where we don’t live up to our high standards of being the perfect person, friend, wife, girlfriend, daughter, and so on. We feel like a failure for not living up to our expectation for ourselves. Who's Expectations? And yet, why do we hold ourselves to such high and exacting standards? Does God expect absolute perfection from us at all times or else He withholds His love from us? For many of us, we hold ourselves to an impossible standard of perfection, believing that, unless we are perfect and never make a single mistake, we aren’t worthy of being loved by others. We believe that, unless we do everything perfectly, we’re not worthy. We equate making mistakes with being unlovable both by others and by ourselves. When we don’t live up to our impossible standard of perfection, our sense of self-worth crumbles. And when we stumble, we think that others look at us and say, “Wow, she’s a mess. She can’t keep it together.” It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking this way, but is it really true? Are we really worthless and a mess if we make the occasional mistake? Mistakes We’ve all heard the phrase, “mistakes happen” and we’ve probably offered it as reassuring advice to someone else at some point in our lives. After all, it’s true. No one is perfect and mistakes really do happen. What matters much more than the mistake itself is how we respond to that mistake. Do you let that mistake define you or do you rise above that mistake? Do you berate yourself and let that mistake chip away at your sense of self-worth? Or, do you extend the kindness you show to others to yourself? Do you turn away from the love and compassion God has for you even when you make mistakes? How to Treat Yourself with Self-Compassion Self-compassion is the answer to forgiving yourself for the mistakes you’ve made without letting that mistake define your self worth. After all, God forgives us of our sins no matter what we’ve done. He doesn’t withdraw His love for us when we make mistakes or sin. He shows compassions towards us and towards our brothers and sisters. When we let our mistakes tell us we’re a failure, we push away God’s love and compassion for us. So next time you make a mistake, try to respond to yourself with compassion instead of criticism. How do you treat yourself with self-compassion? It can be helpful to think about how you’d treat a friend who’d made the same mistake. My guess is that you wouldn’t tell your friend, “You’re the worst person ever. How could you possibly be less than perfect?” (Can you imagine?) But that’s exactly something we’d think to ourselves when we make a mistake. You’d likely offer your friend some reassuring words to lift them up and to help them look beyond their mistake. Why withhold the same compassion from yourself? Just like your friends, you are lovable and equally deserving of compassion. The next time you find yourself making a mistake, try to treat yourself with the same compassion you would a friend. Think, “What would I tell a friend who’s in the same situation?” and then extend that same compassion reaction to yourself. Putting It to Practice For example, I recently accidentally double-booked a time slot at my job as a therapist. When I realized the mistake, I panicked. My first thoughts were, “I can’t believe I did this. How could I have missed it?” and “I’m a terrible therapist for making this mistake and double-booking”. See how I quickly my thoughts jumped from disbelief over my mistake to some pretty harsh judgments about myself? Luckily, I could myself before my thoughts could spiral downward and I was able to take a moment to exercise some self-compassion, tell myself that “I will make scheduling errors in my career and, aside from this instance, I have a pretty good track-record of not double-booking”, and I went into problem solving mode. I was able to move my clients around to accommodate everyone and my clients were wonderful and understanding about my mistake. Honoring God's Love for You When you treat yourself with compassion, you are honoring the love that God has for you. After all, He loves you just as you are. He doesn’t withhold His love from you when you make mistakes. Instead, He welcomes you with compassion, mercy, and loving arms. When we are compassionate to ourselves and others, we are embracing God’s love for us. Try it! Do you struggle with being kind to yourself? [bctt tweet="Why Self-Compassion is Important for Living Our Faith #BISblog //" via="no"] Julia Marie Hogan is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in Chicago with a mission to help people live fuller and more authentic lives every day. Her new book, It's Okay to Start with You, published by Our Sunday Visitor, is all about the power of embracing your worth. You can find out more about her here.

There is was again. That all-too-familiar restlessness that sometimes overtakes me. If I’m working, I want to be a stay-at-home mom; and if I’m at home I want to work. If I’m inside I want to be outside and if I’m outside I want to be inside. I’m busy and bored at the same time. I long for something new, something different, something outside the box, outside of the mundane. Yet, I have no idea what this something is. Freedom and Restlessness As I waited at the drive-thru for my transaction to be completed at the bank, I took in the brisk wind. It was unusually chilly for a summer day, and I noticed the sway of some beautiful purple flowers nearby. “Ahhh, this is the life,” I said to myself, “to be outside in the fresh air feeling the breeze and gazing upon nature’s beauty.” I dreaded the thought of returning to work, my 30 minute lunch break seeming especially short that day. I wanted to be free as a bird, free as the wind, to wander and explore. But as I tend to do in the thick of these moments, I began to seek out the cause of these sentiments. What's the Cause? I have been at my job for 14 months and the newness has worn off. Day after day my 3 year old cries as I head to work because he doesn’t want mommy to leave. I see how the days go by so quickly, yet it still seems like an eternity until the baby is born. I’m uneasy that I gained more than I should have this month of pregnancy. I see how, no matter how hard we try to make ends meet, there doesn’t seem to be quite enough to cover life’s “necessities”. My thoughts and emotions vary as we await news on a possible part time job. Or perhaps it’s the novel I’m reading or the series I’m watching that have me anxiously awaiting outcomes… The truth is, it could be any number of things that have me on edge, one, all or a combination of several of the above. I may never find the true root cause of my restlessness and it may pass as quickly as it came, swept away by a brisk wind like the one I felt at the bank. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Prayer of Surrender But as I endure it, I am comforted by the fact that I will always have a solution in my loving God. A fellow mom recently invited a group of us to pray a Novena of Surrender to the Will of God. I was shocked at how these prayers nourished my hungry heart. Each day we were asked to repeat 10 times: O Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything! We prayed this amid assurances of “I say to you in truth that every act of true, blind, complete surrender to me produces the effect that you desire and resolves all difficult situations.” Entrusting God with the Unknown And perhaps, just perhaps, it is here that I find my answer. I am restless because of the seemly endless chasm of the unknown in my life. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know God will be there with me, whispering to me, “I’ll take care of it. You close your eyes and rest now.” And I fall asleep in His steadfast and loving embrace. Have you prayed this novena of surrender before? What was your experience? [bctt tweet="A Life-Changing Prayer of Surrender #BISblog //" via="no"] Tami Urcia is wife and mother to her small army of boys. She works full time in Catholic communications and is a freelance translator and blogger. Tami loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances and finding unique ways to love. She spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree. Her favorite things to do are spending time outside with the kiddos, quiet conversation with the hubby and an occasion break from real life by getting a pedicure or a haircut. You can find out more about her here.

I love the Catholic Faith. I love the richness of its history and the courage of its Saints. There are so many inspiring stories of men and women who have accomplished great things and embody the spirit of beauty, truth, and goodness. Some of my favorite Saints are those who experience the deep call from Christ later in life through the gift of conversion. I recently watched the new movie Paul, Apostle of Christ and was struck by the beauty of his conversion experience. I wept as I watched the courage, humility, and bravery of St. Paul as he transformed into Christ’s disciple. We are all called to have moments of “daily conversion,” where we draw closer to Christ in our everyday moments. Yet some people are invited by Christ in a very special way to enter into full communion with the Church, much like St. Paul. How to Join the Catholic Church My dear friend, Father Sam Giangreco, recently sat down with me to explain the process of the RCIA. RCIA stands for the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults—a beautiful process for men and women to enter into full communion with the Catholic Church. Father Sam is an incredible priest who consistently shows me the beauty of the mercy and love of God. If you're wondering how to join the Catholic Church, start with the information from our conversation below. What is RCIA? The RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) is a process that engages prospective converts to Catholicism who are beyond the age of reason (older than seven years, but often older than 18). It is designed specifically for those who are unbaptized, but often and legitimately used for those who are baptized (Catholic or non-Catholic), but un-catechized. For example, some RCIA candidates were baptized Catholic, but were never raised in the Faith. Other candidates may be baptized non-Catholic Christian and never catechized as a Catholic. For those who have been baptized Catholic and raised in the Faith at home, through religious education, or Catholic schooling, a Confirmation program may be a more fitting program. What does the process look like? Often, the RCIA program is organized and run by lay members of a parish and overseen by its pastor. The RCIA team members (those who run the program) and candidates (those wishing to become Catholic and/or fully initiated) typically gather in a room around a table on the parish grounds. These are usually weekly meetings that begin late summer or fall, and conclude at or shortly after Easter Sunday. Each meeting will involve a different lesson about the Catholic Faith. During the Season of Lent, in the few weeks before the Easter Vigil Mass, candidates undergo what are called “scrutinies.” It’s a scary word, but it simply involves the candidate making a progressively deeper commitment to the Faith that they are about to profess. It does not involve any type of speech, but simply standing before the congregation at a Sunday Mass for a brief moment as the priest recites a few prayers on your behalf and asks you to affirm your decision with very simple responses. How do I join? If a person who wishes to become Catholic, or fully initiated (i.e., Confirmed), the first thing they should do is to call their local Catholic parish. Often, parishes already have their own RCIA programs. If your parish doesn’t, they should easily be able to direct you to a neighboring parish to enroll. Sometimes, the pastor may even be willing to tutor candidates if there isn’t a nearby RCIA program. Joining RCIA requires effort, especially (and unfortunately) if a parish does not call you back or “leaves you hanging,” waiting for them to direct you to a nearby program. Please do not be discouraged; just move forward and find another Catholic parish. What if I enroll, but then realize I’m not ready to join the Catholic Church? It is not uncommon that candidates enroll in the program, attend a session or two, and drop out. There is no pressure to remain in the program. The RCIA team is usually seasoned enough to respect and expect all persons who approach the RCIA program. What happens after RCIA? If you have remained in the RCIA through Easter, it should be a time of great joy, because you have learned, prayed, and grown a lot in the Faith. Depending on which Sacraments you have yet to celebrate, you might receive Baptism, profess your faith in the Catholic Church, be Confirmed, and receive Our Lord in Holy Communion at the Easter Vigil Mass, which is the evening Mass prior to Easter Sunday morning. What do I do now? Many RCIA programs start in this month of August. If it has been pressed upon your heart to learn more about the Catholic Church—and if you have a desire to join the Catholic Church—let this month be the time! Know of our daily prayers for you during this special time of discernment, prayer, and growth. The RCIA program will help you to practice your faith and use the gifts God has given you. You have an important place, you have a home, within the Catholic Church. Are you hoping to join the Catholic Church? What questions do you have about RCIA? Feel free to ask them in the comments (even anonymously if you prefer)—there are no stupid questions! We'd love to help :) [bctt tweet="How to Join the Catholic Church // Insight Into RCIA #BISblog //" username="findphilothea"]

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst. // John 6:35 Download and share these beautiful wallpapers from Erica of Be a Heart. You can purchase this beautiful 8x10 print over in our Shop (or if you're a Blessed is She Member, you get it for free! Head to your Membership Freebies page). Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

It's when we face for a moment the worst our kind can do, and shudder to know the taint in our own selves, that awe cracks the mind's shell and enters the heart: not to a flower, not to a dolphin, to no innocent form but to this creature vainly sure it and no other is god-like, God (out of compassion for our ugly failure to evolve) entrusts, as guest, as brother, the Word. -Denise Levertov Reflect The Son of God became man to enable men to become the sons of God. C.S. Lewis [bctt tweet="The Son of God became man to enable men to become the sons of God. -C.S. Lewis #BISblog #BISrests //" via="no"] Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Son + God #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Sarah Stanley. You can find out more about her here.

Eight years of prayer and study pointed to one incredible day. Laudate Dominum rang through our ears as we sang praise to the Lord that this day had finally come. My Brother-in-Law, the Priest I sat with my husband and his parents in the very front pew of the Cathedral. There were only three chairs in front of us. One chair for my brother-in-law and two for the other transitional deacons who were about to lay their lives down out of love for their Bride, the Church. These men made it to this long-awaited day to make their promises of celibacy, obedience, and simplicity of life as newly ordained diocesan priests. After the proclamation of the Gospel, a bittersweet moment took place. The deacons were each summoned by name. They moved from their place—sitting with the rest of the congregation—to the altar. They were no longer meant to be sitting with us as we participated in the Sacrament of the Eucharist. Their new place was to become in persona Christi Capitis, in the person of Christ the Head. They were to serve the people of God, especially through the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. Minutes after they moved to their place on the altar, the Bishop laid his hands on their heads and invoked the Holy Spirit. Their soul was then imprinted with an indelible sacramental character, a mark which would set them apart for the fulfillment of their vocation: the Sacrament of Holy Orders. This Sacrament configures the recipient to Christ by a special grace of the Holy Spirit, so that he may serve as Christ’s instrument for his Church. -CCC 1581 The Joy of the Priesthood As the newly ordained processed out of the church, "O God Beyond All Praising" resounded within the walls of the Cathedral. People smiled from ear to ear as they breathed deeply from their chest, belting out “...whether our tomorrows be filled with good or ill, we’ll triumph through our sorrows and rise to bless you still: to marvel at your beauty and glory in your ways, and make a joyful duty our sacrifice of praise.” My brother-in-law, now Father, encourages me to marvel at God’s beauty simply by his witness of love. After his Mass of Thanksgiving, he shared with everyone there that when people ask him why he decided to become a Priest and to live a life of celibacy, he responds, “I did it, because of Love, and it is a Love that I want you to know too. If you want to know how to find that Love, please talk to me. Or talk to your parish priest, or any priest you know.” Do we know that deep kind of love? The kind of love that makes us want to give up everything in order to respond to that love in the fullest way possible? When was the last time we gave ourselves the time to sit with Jesus and really let His love for us sink in, and sink in deep? When was the last time we considered Jesus our brother, companion, and friend? St. John Vianney, Patron Saint of Priests Today we celebrate St. John Vianney. A priest who is known for spending up to to sixteen hours each day hearing confessions. This is a remarkable gift of self to his bride, the Church. In 1929, Pope Pius XI made Saint John Vianney the patron of parish priests. Pope Saint John XXIII spoke of him saying: ...when the priest adores Christ Our Lord and gives thanks to Him, or offers satisfaction for his own sins and those of others, or finally when he prays constantly that God keep special watch over the causes committed to his care, he is inflamed with a more ardent love for the Divine Redeemer to whom he has sown allegiance and for those to whom he is devoting his pastoral care. Praying for Our Priests In celebration of Saint John Vianney’s feast day, let’s pray specifically for our parish priests today. Let's pray for those men who are discerning calls to the priesthood. Let's be sure to give them a sincere "thank you" the next time we see them. Thank them for devoting their life to helping us fall in love. Who are the priests in your life who call you closer to Jesus? [bctt tweet="Praying for Priestly Vocations with St. John Vianney #BISblog //" via="no"]

As August begins, are you planning one last road trip or weekend getaway to the beach or cabin? Before the kids head back to school, we often desire to soak up the sun and savor the last days of summer. Even if we don’t have school-aged children, we can still have a back-to-school mindset as fall approaches. For autumn seems to be the season when we return to a more organized routine, while summer permits more leisurely activities and lingering moments. So, before we get back to “normal,” we jump at the chance to enjoy these last weeks of summer refreshment with one last getaway. If you find yourself packing your bags for an August adventure, may I suggest including a good book to enjoy? And instead of just grabbing the latest bestseller, why not consider reading a book that is not only captivating but also nourishing of our Catholic Faith? Over the last several years, I have had the pleasure of connecting with a variety of authors who are committed to creating quality Catholic fiction. These authors are smart, innovative, and passionate about storytelling. And in turn, they have published some of the best and brightest novels around. These authors offer something for everyone, no matter what your favorite genre. And I just know you will be pleasantly surprised with their creativity and imagination, while staying true to the Catholic Faith. 5 Catholic Novels to Read This Summer So, along with your swimsuit, towel, and sunscreen, pack one of these Catholic novels for your end-of-summer getaway. Fairytale Revisited When you were a little girl, did you enjoy Snow White and other princess fairytales? If so, you will appreciate The Shadow of the Bear by Regina Doman, the first in a series of retold fairytales. It is set in modern-day New York City. Blanche and Rose are sisters in high school, and they meet a young man named Bear, who rescues their mom from a swerving car. He looks to be poor and even a bit shady, but they soon discover there is goodness hidden beneath his dirty clothes and matted dreadlocks. He continues to visit them frequently, and friendship blossoms. As the story progresses, mystery unfolds. This fast-paced novel includes action, adventure, a sweet romance, and honest portrayals of good versus evil. Biblical Fiction Have you wanted to dig deeper into the New Testament stories but haven’t known quite how to do it? May I suggest reading The Well, the debut novel by Stephanie Landsem? Set in the small Samaritan village of Sychar, The Well is about a young girl named Mara who is shunned from the community. This is because of the sinful past of her mother, Nava, who is the woman at the well found in John 4:1-42. Life begins to change in Sychar when two men arrive. The first man, Shem, is wealthy, worldly, and drawn to Mara’s beauty. Then, there is Jesus, who miraculously cures Nava of her depressive state and forgives her of her sins. Nava’s encounter with Jesus causes quite the uprising in the small Samaritan town, and the people still want to stone her for her past actions. Mara thinks the best way to prevent the stoning is to ask Jesus to return. So, she sets out to find Jesus, with the help of Shem, and their journey brings them more adventure, love, heartache, and sacrifice than either of them could imagine. While this story is fictional, the Biblical narrative remains intact. Landsem’s creativity allows us to enter the Biblical scene and draws us closer to Jesus’ authentic love. Tasteful Romance If you enjoy a good romance, you will love Stay With Me by Carolyn Astfalk. You will love it even more, because it begins in a grocery store. Rebecca is shopping with her niece and nephew, and Chris is stocking shelves. Their encounter leads to a first date and a delightful courtship. As they get to know one another, they realize they come from vastly different backgrounds. Chris is a convert to Catholicism and comes from an intact, loving family. Rebecca is an innocent young woman who is on her own for the first time, away from her overbearing father. While they clearly care for one another, can they come together on matters of trust and faith? Can their true love for each other sustain them through mistakes and misgivings? Stay With Me is a fun, enjoyable read that has you rooting for Chris and Rebecca all the way until the very last page. It also is an honest look at dating, courtship, human sexuality, and marriage. It puts names, faces, and emotions to the Catholic Church’s teaching on human sexuality that St. John Paul II coined as “Theology of the Body". Mystery and Suspense If you are looking for a page-turner that keeps you on the edge of your beach chair, then look no further than Anyone But Him by Theresa Linden. What would it feel like to wake up one day and not remember marrying your husband? And what if all you recalled were negative feelings you had for him? This is what happens to Caitlyn Summer who wakes up one morning and only remembers her disdain for Jarrett West. How could she possibly have married him? As the story progresses, we discover why these two are together in the first place, how they rekindle their love, and how nothing is impossible for God. Anyone But Him is brimming with suspense and mystery. This is the type of novel that you can’t help but read “just one more page,” even late into the night! In addition, Linden weaves the Catholic Faith into the storyline beautifully, and moral topics, including abortion, are carefully and thoughtfully articulated. Recreated Classic If you grew up loving classic novels, you will be pleasantly surprised by Unclaimed: The Memoirs of Jane E, Friendless Orphan by Erin McCole Cupp. It is the first of three installments in a trilogy that takes the timeless classic, Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, on a futuristic spin. When we first meet Jane E, she is an unclaimed embryo in an unloving foster home setting. Upon seeking emancipation, she is taken halfway around the world where conditions are grueling. Jane E, then, settles into yet another world—a hidden residence underneath the desert—where an absentee employer hires her to tutor a child he has taken in. Even if you haven’t read Jane Eyre, you will appreciate Unclaimed, for Jane E is heroic and persevering. She faces the challenges that come her way with acceptance, grace, and determination. Time to Rest and Read! While there are many more Catholic novels to enjoy, this is a great place to start. Stories with Catholic themes are a wonderful way to weave our faith into the everyday, ordinary parts of our day…and our vacation. They inspire us in our own faith journey and are also an easy way to share our faith with others. Have you read a really great novel by a Catholic author that we could add to our list? If so, please share it with us in the comments. [bctt tweet="5 Catholic Novels to Read This Summer #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

What if I told you that I could weave a story connecting Napoleon, a 19th century pope, the city of New Orleans, and my home in present-day Florida? Would you believe me? What if this story also included things like fire, hurricanes, religious persecution, and the War of 1812? Interested? Then sit back, friend, while I tell you the story of Our Lady of Prompt Succor. Those of you from the greater Louisiana area will certainly have heard of her. For the rest of us, though—especially those who don’t spend their summer months under threat of hurricane warnings—maybe you’ll discover a new and interesting devotion to Our Lady. Ursuline Roots in New Orleans In the early 1700s, French Ursuline sisters came to America and established a monastery and schools in New Orleans, Louisiana. Within 50 years, though, ownership of that territory transferred to Spain. When the French regained control of the area in 1800, many of the Spanish Ursuline sisters fled to Cuba to escape anti-Catholic persecution from the Napoleonic forces. Only seven French sisters remained. In 1803, one of these sisters, Mother St. Andre’ Medier, wrote to her cousin in France. She requested help in the form of additional sisters to save their once flourishing school and community. This cousin, Mother St. Michel Gensoul, was another Ursuline sister. She was recently exiled from her community, like many other religious during Napoleon’s reign. In her exile, she was running a boarding school for girls in Montpellier. Mother St. Michel’s bishop, Bishop Fournier, declined to send Mother or any other sisters to the community in New Orleans. The French Revolution was not kind to Catholic communities and he was desperately shorthanded. Bishop Fournier told Mother St. Michel that the only way he would give her permission to leave was if she obtained approval from the Pope himself. The problem with that plan was that Pope Pius VII was currently under house arrest as a prisoner of Napoleon. Not to be deterred, Mother St. Michel wrote to the pope. And, in an inspired moment of prayer to Our Lady, said these words: O most holy Virgin Mary, if you obtain a prompt and favorable answer to my letter, I promise to have you honored in New Orleans under the title of Our Lady of Prompt Succor. Prompt and Favorable In an unbelievable turn of events, Pope Pius VII not only received but swiftly answered Mother’s letter. Within three months, she received a letter in which he praised her for her generosity and approved her move to Louisiana. Through Our Lady’s intercession, the sisters were granted a response that was both prompt and favorable! By way of thanks, Mother St. Michel had a statue of the Blessed Mother and Infant Jesus commissioned to take with her to New Orleans. Bishop Fournier blessed the statue and it was brought to the monastery chapel in Louisiana by Mother St. Michel and several postulants by the end of 1810. Fire and War and Hurricanes Our Lady of Prompt Succor has not abandoned the people of New Orleans as the years pass. In 1812, a massive fire in the city threatened the monastery. One of the sisters held a statue of Our Lady in a window facing the direction of the fire. The sisters prayed, the wind changed direction and pushed the fire away. The monastery was saved. Then in 1815, many of the faithful of New Orleans, including the families of American soldiers serving under General Andrew Jackson, gathered to pray for her intercession and protection. The city was going to be attacked by the British and was in danger of changing hands yet again. However, American forces prevailed and saw very few casualties even though they had been up against a much superior British contingent. Every year on January 8, a special Mass is said at the Shrine in thanksgiving to Our Lady of Prompt Succor for her help during the Battle of New Orleans. This was promised by the Ursulines to Andrew Jackson when he came to the convent to thank them for their prayers. It's a tradition that continues to this day. Patronages and Present Day Devotions Our Lady of Prompt Succor was recognized as an approved devotion in September of 1851. Since then, she has been revered as the patroness of the state of Louisiana, the Catholic Diocese of New Orleans, and as protector from hurricanes. Two of my friends, Chris and Rebecca, have special devotions to the Blessed Mother under this title. Chris is from New Orleans. His parents and a sister married at the shrine and he served for several years as a tour guide there. Rebecca, who studied at Tulane, had a peaceful time of prayer in front of the “sweetheart statue,” the statue that the nuns held up during the fire that turned the flames. She says that, while an immediate answer to her prayer wasn’t given, the peace that came from the experience made her know that her prayers were heard. Their three-year-old son sleeps with a prayer card with this image on it and their infant daughter was baptized at the shrine earlier this year. Meeting Our Lady of Prompt Succor It wasn’t until two years ago, however, when our part of Florida was about to be hit by Hurricane Matthew that I even wondered if there is a patron saint of hurricanes. As I was preparing a basket filled with our family Rosaries, holy cards, a cross, and holy water, I did what every modern day woman would do. I Googled it. And what was the first thing that popped up? A beautiful image of the statue and this prayer copied from the back of a holy card: Our Father in Heaven through the intercession of Our Lady of Prompt Succor, spare us during this hurricane season from all harm. Protect us and our homes from all disasters of nature. Our Lady of Prompt Succor, hasten to help us. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen. Saying that prayer brought much comfort to my family and me during the last two hurricanes we faced. What are Your Storms? So, sisters, whatever storms you are facing in your life—whether they are actual hurricanes this year or simply storms in your soul—have faith in the intercession of our Blessed Mother under her mantle as Our Lady of Prompt Succor. Trust that her answer to you will be as prompt and favorable as it has been for the past 200 years. Our Lady of Prompt Succor, hasten to help us. [bctt tweet="Our Lady of Prompt Succor and Hurricane Season #BISblog //" via="no"]

I remember being an elementary schooler, just absolutely over the moon at the thought of going to middle school. I dreamt of friends who would decorate my first locker for my birthday and go shopping at the mall with me on the weekends. Spoiler alert! I got to middle school and those friendships I pictured weren’t quite what I was expecting. Shocking, right? I found myself caught in drama about who was excluded from a sleepover and who liked someone else’s crush. High Hopes for High School Then it was finally time for high school. It was my chance to have those perfect, seen-only-in-movies friendships I wanted. I pictured the cliche high school friend group that my heart so deeply desired. I envisioned us going to prom together, cheering on the football team from the stands on Friday nights, and experiencing all of our biggest “firsts” together. Big surprise again, it wasn’t all that and a bag of chips. Once again, I lost myself in group text gossip, fights about boys, and many, many tears. I remember looking around at everyone else who seemed so happy, feeling incredibly insecure in who I was and wondering if I was the only girl who felt let down by her friends. Fresh Friends for the Freshman? When I moved into my dream college, I thought the third time would be the charm. And I was right...kind of. I joined a sorority, got involved on campus, and started dating someone. I thought, “Wow, my life finally is going to be perfect!” And yet, I still felt unsatisfied. I did some serious soul searching, asking the Father why I felt empty despite His overwhelming generosity to me. After hours of prayer, I realized that at my core is a deep restlessness surrounding my relationships with others. I harbored insecurities about my friendships, despite my seeking out and finding true, authentic, and virtuous friends. Friendship with Christ My idea of what friendship is supposed to be was clouded with past disappointments and impossible expectations that no person could ever meet. My soul yearns for that perfect relationship with someone who would never leave me out of their sleepover, never steal my crush, and never talk bad about me in a group text. I want a friend who will love me no matter what I say or do, who will never make me feel insecure, who will always answer when I call. And I came to a conclusion: earthly relationships always hurt a little because that Someone is the Lord. Don’t get me wrong, true friendships are beautiful gifts from the Father. He knows we desperately need them. He has been so generous with me in this way, especially since I’ve come to college. However, He also knows, and I’ve come to learn, that even the most holy and authentic friendship will not satisfy every desire of our heart, and it isn’t supposed to. There isn’t a person on this earth who can do that, and it’s unfair of us to expect her to. The Lord is the Maker of our hearts, and when He loved us into existence, He carefully placed every dream and passion onto those hearts. And here’s a secret: they are all fulfilled in Him alone. We may try to fulfill them in earthly pleasures or in material goods or like myself, in other people. But at the end of the day, we’re all just a little bit let down. When we seek the deep and unconditional love and acceptance we were made to receive from the Father in broken, earthly people alone, it just leads to heartbreak and disappointment. Ordering Earthly Friendships Toward Jesus The Lord has slowly and intentionally molded my heart to love my friends in a rightly-ordered way. My friends have shifted from being the people I thought should satisfy me, to being the people that run with me on my journey to the One who will satisfy me. He has shown me time and time again that my friends are beautiful, God-fearing women, and their role in my life is to point me to Him. Authentic friendships on earth are just a taste of the love and joy the Father has for us. A true friendship does not replace our need for the Lord, it deepens it. [bctt tweet="A true friendship does not replace our need for the Lord, it deepens it. #BISblog //" via="no"] Finding Friends Know this: the Lord knows your heart and its desires better than you ever could. He is faithful to all of His promises and He never ever leaves us wanting. Whether you have authentic, deep friendships with other women or friendships that leave you feeling drained and less-than, they all point to Him. He will show you again and again that it is He alone who will satisfy you. And if you do have any discouraging friendships, know this too: He calls us to love others, even when they let us down. I pray that each of us would love those people we find it difficult to love, to emulate the love the Father has for each of us. Because ultimately, that’s what true friendship is. It will never be what the Father’s love is, but it’s a darn good way to lead us to it. Who are some of your friends that point you toward Christ? Share the love with them today! [bctt tweet="Rooting Earthly Friendships in Christ #BISblog //" via="no"] Caroline Balmer is an Industrial Engineering major at Georgia Tech in Atlanta, GA. A lover of big, quiet Churches and car praise and worship sessions, she considers Diet Coke and college football the Father's personal gifts to her. She can be found listening to true crime podcasts, Instagramming, or asking the Lord to help her love Him more and more.

No matter what stage of life you are in, it is important for every woman in the Church to know some practical tools for vocational discernment. The Latin word vocare means "to call". Pope Benedict XVI said: Each of you has a personal vocation which He has given you for your own joy and sanctity. Our life is to be a gift of love to the world. But what will that look like? We must remember that through our Baptism, everyone is called to holiness. Holiness will look different for each individual person because God works uniquely with each soul. God gives each person a particular mission in their vocation. This mission lives in the soul and is waiting to be discovered. [bctt tweet="Each of you has a personal vocation which He has given you for your own joy and sanctity. -Pope BXVI #BISblog //" via="no"] The Call to Consecrated Life The vocation to the Consecrated Life is a special call from God to follow Jesus more closely. Paragraph 916 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains: In the Consecrated Life, Christ's faithful, moved by the Holy Spirit, propose to follow Christ more nearly, to give themselves to God who is loved above all and, pursuing the perfection of charity in the service of the Kingdom, to signify and proclaim in the Church the glory of the world to come. 9 Tips for Discerning Religious Life All Catholic women are invited to take a time of discernment before entering into their vocation. The Latin word discernere means "to separate". So, when someone is discerning a vocation to the consecrated life, they are taking extra time apart from their regular duties in order to pray and discover God’s unique plan. If you are currently open to discerning consecrated life or have a daughter, cousin, or friend who is asking the question, here are a few tips. 1. Do Not Be Afraid Ask the Lord to make His desires your desires. 2. Create a Timeline Usually a year of serious discernment can provide a lot of clarity. Obviously, we can’t control God’s timing, but we can do the hard work of discernment on our end and then go forth in peace. Some women get sucked into a vortex of perpetual discernment, which can be very confusing and exhausting. I entrusted my own vocational discernment into the hands of Mary and chose a Marian feast as an ending date. 3. Pray, Pray, Pray This is obvious, but there are some specific prayer practices that can be especially helpful. Go to daily Mass // This will be the source and summit of your day and your life. Make frequent Confessions (at least once a month) // Many sisters have confession every week and this Sacrament is a source of incredible grace. Create space for solitude and silence every day // Become familiar with the voice of the Good Shepherd, so that when He calls, you will recognize his voice. Learn how to pray the Liturgy of the Hours (as this is prayed by most religious communities) // Try starting here if you are not sure how to navigate the four volume breviary. Pray the Rosary // Ask Our Lady, Star of the Sea to guide your discernment. 4. Find a Spiritual Director Your pastor may be able to provide spiritual direction, a recommendation, or reference for you. Consider contacting the vocation office in your diocese. Trust me, it's not as scary as it sounds! The vocation director can also provide spiritual direction or give a recommendation. Some priests are more open to taking a new directee if they know that it is a short term commitment. Say something like, "Would you have time to meet 3 times in the next 6 months as I am discerning my vocation?" You could also go on a directed silent Ignatian retreat. You can start with a 1 or 2 day retreat and work your way up to an 8 day retreat. 5. Research and Pray with the Charisms Look into the various religious orders (Benedictine, Carmelite, Dominican, Franciscan, Ignatian, etc.) and their charisms. Also dive deep into the Evangelical Counsels (chastity, poverty, and obedience). 6. Learn More About Active Vs. Contemplative Life Religious life can take on many forms: cloistered, monastic, mendicant, contemplative, active, and so on. The Council of Major Superiors for Women Religious and the Institute on Religious Life are good places to start. 7. Spend Time with Other Women Who are Discerning Many dioceses offer Women's Discernment Weekends, Miriam Dinners, and discernment houses. 8. Start Visiting Sisters! Come and See Weekends with religious communities are such incredible opportunities. Receive the hospitality of sisters, listen to their vocation stories, ask all your trivial and serious questions, experience their prayer, community life, and Apostolates. You can find some retreats here. 9. Ask for Intercession Ask for the intercession of St. Ignatius of Loyola and pray with him the Suscipe: Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, All I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me. [bctt tweet="Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me. -St. Ignatius of Loyola #BISblog //" via="no"] Resources for Discerning Religious Life You can’t discern what you don’t know, right? To Read Union with God: Letters of Spiritual Direction by Blessed Columba Marmion (St. Teresa of Calcutta's favorite book!) And You Are Christ's: The Charism of Virginity and the Celibate Life by Thomas Dubay A Right to be Merry by Mother Mary Francis, PCC Chastity, Poverty and Obedience: Recovering the Vision for the Renewal of Religious Life by Mother Mary Francis, PCC Discerning Religious Life by Sister Clare Matthiass, CFR The Discernment of Spirits: An Ignatian Guide for Everyday Living by Fr. Timothy Gallagher, OMV Discerning the Will of God: An Ignatian Guide to Christian Decision Making by Fr. Timothy Gallagher, OMV Vita Consecrata by St. John Paul II To Watch Watch the short film For Love Alone. To Listen To Listen to these talks. Listen to this podcast from Fr. Paul Hoesing. Are you discerning religious life? What resources have been helpful to you? [bctt tweet="9 Tips + Resources for Discerning Religious Life #BISblog //" via="no"] Rose Coleman is a contemplative in action who delights in all things beautiful. Her adventurous heart has traveled many places—from circumnavigating the globe on a ship during college to some years in the convent as a religious sister. Exuberant from her childhood, she is an elementary school teacher who learns so much from her students. You can find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

In the summer of 2015, I had the privilege of following the footsteps of St. Ignatius of Loyola on the Camino Ignaciano in Spain from Loyola to Barcelona. It’s a pilgrimage similar to the Camino de Santiago, except Ignatius literally journeyed in the opposite direction of the other pilgrims of his day #classiciggy. The Fascinating Life of St. Ignatius of Loyola Along the way, my classmates and I were blessed to visit places like the Loyola family home, the room where Ignatius recovered after a cannon ball shattered his leg in battle, and the beautiful statue of Our Lady of Montserrat where he laid down his armor and life as a soldier, promising his service to God. We visited the cave at Manresa and the River Cardoner and even flew to Rome to visit la Storta and the Church of the Gesu. T he details of his story and the significance of these locations can be fleshed out with a simple Google search or a chat with alumni of the hundreds of Jesuit institutions around the world. But I don’t think that is what Saint Ignatius would want us to be focusing on. In fact, Ignatius greatly protested the writing of his autobiography. He feared focusing on his own story would lead into the sin of vainglory. It was only after the persistence of his brother Jesuits and their insistence that his life journey could bring others to Christ that he agree to have it recorded. The Camino Ignaciano I embarked on that 200k Camino hoping to know more about this Saint who I’d been learning about for nearly 10 years. I hoped to grow closer with him and to learn to more fully understand his heart. And to my frustration, throughout the long days of mile after mile in the record breaking heat, I felt nothing for Ignatius at all. If anything, with each step I felt myself moving further from him. What I did notice, however, was an increased appreciation for those first two hours of silent prayer in the morning as the journey began each day. I noticed each gentle breeze and every sliver of cooling shade. I gave praise for the nourishment of a simple meal or a satisfying sip of fresh water. Relationships were formed with my fellow pilgrims, classmates, and professors as we encouraged and accompanied one another along the way. The generous hospitality we received overwhelmed me. I'll carry the memories with me for a lifetime. Closer to Christ: The Mission of St. Ignatius of Loyola My time on the Camino Ignaciano did not bring me closer to St. Ignatius, it brought me closer to Christ. And that is exactly what he would have wanted. Throughout the Spiritual Exercises and steps of the daily examen, Ignatius invites us to recognize God in all things. In the good and bad, in the big and small. He chose to name the religious order he founded the Jesuits (or Society of Jesus) so that they would always point to Christ and strive to do everything for the greater glory of God. For St. Ignatius, it was all about Christ. Today, we remember this amazing man. We celebrate his life and all the good he and the Jesuit order have done for the Church. Let us remember the true focus and intention of his heart and ours, our loving Creator. St. Ignatius of Loyola, pray for us. [bctt tweet="Walking with St. Ignatius of Loyola #BISblog //" via="no"]

It’s often said that Flannery O’Connor is one of, if not the best Catholic writer of the twentieth century. In her thirty-nine years before dying of lupus, she published two novels, thirty-two short stories, and a number of essays and reviews. And yet, after “Catholic,” the word most commonly used to describe O’Connor’s work is probably “grotesque.” Her characters aren’t saints, far from it. Ugly people do ugly things. Nothing is tied up with a neat little bow, to say the least. O’Connor knew that her fiction isn’t exactly beach reading. She recognized that her work would require a certain amount of training to appreciate. But that’s the first thing I love about her. She wasn’t writing to please the masses. She wrote to shed light on reality, to show how things really are and, in effect, to help us wake up. Mystery and Manners If you’ve tried to get into O’Connor’s fiction and struggled, let me assure you that you are not alone. However, that doesn’t mean that there is to be no Flannery in your life. Mystery and Manners is a dynamite collection of essays, speeches, and other occasional prose that will convince you that this bespectacled Southern woman is all she’s cracked up to be. Writing about Writing The essays that first interested me were those on writing. It’s immediately apparent that this is a woman who knows what she is about and that Christ is the center of her life. (In a recent trip to her childhood home in Savannah, I attended Mass at the cathedral which she often looked at through her parents’ bedroom window. She attended Mass there daily.) When she writes about writing, she’s dealing with so much more: what forms the writer’s worldview, the human condition, and the significance of vocation. Take this, from “The Fiction Writer and His Country”: The writer can choose what he writes about but he cannot choose what he is able to make live, and so far as he is concerned, a living deformed character is acceptable and a dead whole one is not. The Christian writer particularly will feel that whatever his initial gift is, it comes from God; and no matter how minor a gift it is, he will not be willing to destroy it by trying to use it outside its proper limits. I love the term “proper limits”—what a game changer. What if we understood that the trying situations we find ourselves in are not intended to impede us from what we want so much as to guide us to what God needs of us? A rejection letter is less of a “no” and more of “that’s not quite right; try again.” As a writer, this encourages me. As a human, even more so. With a heart centered on Christ and willing to see the realities of my own faults and my need for mercy, Heaven is a possibility. Challenging the Culture How many times have you flipped through the channels or offerings on your favored streaming service and bemoaned the lack of anything worth watching? Our gal Flannery would be appalled at a good deal of what’s out there. But she wouldn't be surprised. In the same essay, she writes: Redemption is meaningless unless there is cause for it in the actual life we live, and for the last few centuries there has been operating in our culture the secular belief that there is no such cause. If O’Connor’s writing is grotesque, it’s because she saw humanity with a clearer lens than most of us do. There wasn’t any sugarcoating, but not because she was cynical or intentionally disparaging. For O’Connor (again from this essay), “the meaning of life is centered in our Redemption by Christ and what I see in the world I see in its relation to that.” We need grace because we’re fallen. It’s often said that there’s no Easter Sunday without Good Friday. O’Connor was willing to look at things that too many of us shy away from. Things that are ugly, things that don’t make us feel warm and fuzzy inside, things that culture today neglects to acknowledge for what they are. But these things are real consequences of the Fall. And more importantly, they are the places from which we reach for grace. In them we have the opportunity to accept redemption through Christ. [bctt tweet="If O’Connor’s writing is grotesque, it’s because she saw humanity with a clearer lens than most of us do. #BISblog //" via="no"] From Birds to Books The other essays in this collection approach a variety of topics, from education to her beloved birds. There is a distinct voice, a clear intention, and a woman I really wish I’d had the chance to high five. If you’re a writer, I’d recommend reading these essays for the clarity of O’Connor’s vision. If you’re an artist, read them to appreciate the gift of your craft as an opportunity to give God the glory. Even if you’re neither, I beg you to read these pages for their honesty, humor, and humility. In order to build the Kingdom, we need a realistic view. Mystery and Manners offers that, as well as hope that all is not lost, as it sometimes may seem. Have you read Mystery and Manners? What did you think? [bctt tweet="Mystery and Manners Review #BISblog //" via="no"] Lindsay Schlegel is a daughter of God who seeks to encourage, inspire, and lift up the contemporary woman to be all she was created to be. She's the author of Don't Forget to Say Thank You: And Other Parenting Lessons That Brought Me Closer to God, as well as shorter nonfiction and fiction pieces, both online and in print. With joy, she speaks about recognizing God's voice and living the truth therein. Lindsay lives in New Jersey with her high-school-sweetheart-turned-husband and their kids. You can find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs. // Psalm 145 Download and share these beautiful wallpapers from Erica of Be a Heart. You can purchase this beautiful 8x10 print over in our Shop (or if you're a Blessed is She Member, you get it for free! Head to your Membership Freebies page). Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

If you ask me what you are to do in order to be perfect, I say, first- Do not lie in bed beyond the due time of rising; give your first thoughts to God; make a good visit to the Blessed Sacrament; say the Angelus devoutly; eat and drink to God’s glory; say the Rosary well; be recollected; keep out bad thoughts; make your evening meditation well; examine yourself daily; go to bed in good time, and you are already perfect. -Bl. John Henry Newman Reflect We must not be astonished to see ourselves imperfect, since we must never see ourselves otherwise in this life. St. Francis de Sales [bctt tweet="We must not be astonished to see ourselves imperfect, since we must never see ourselves otherwise in this life. -St. Francis de Sales #BISrests"] Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Imperfect + Honest #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Sarah Ortiz. You can find out more about her here.

I naively thought when you graduate college, get a job and find your spouse, that you were living out God’s will and all would be relatively fine. As we all know, life is not like that. Through this journey of life, our Lord gives us the promises and encouragement to keep going. Jesus' Example In Romans we are told to “Rejoice in your hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer” (Romans 12:12). Jesus puts this into action. Jesus did not “call it a night” knowing His fate. The night He was arrested in the garden, He was constant in prayer. He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, remove this chalice from me; nevertheless not my will, but yours, be done” (Luke 22:42). Jesus did not raise a fuss defending His good name when He was brought before Pilate and scourged. He was patient in tribulation. Lastly, Jeremiah reminds us, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). The number three calls our hearts and minds above as it reminds us of the Holy Spirit. Romans 12:12 gives us three things to work towards in the tribulations of daily life. Three Strikes: Rejoice, Be Patient, Pray In Baseball, three is it. Three strikes and you’re out. Jesus didn’t give up or give in with all of the disbelief He encountered during His ministry. Why are we so quick to lose hope, give up, and turn away from prayer when we are emotionally, physically, spiritually, or relationally exhausted after the tribulations of life? I’m not talking about walking away from the Faith necessarily. But we can allow ourselves to grow lax in our prayer life, devotion, hope, and joy. Three strikes have occurred recently for me and have shown me how easily it is to start the count and forget about Romans 12:12. Strike One Over a year ago, my 28-year-old husband was rushed to the ER due to passing out at home. Nine hours in the ER resulted in emergency surgery to remove 500mL of fluid from his heart to relieve the pressure and allow him to breath normally again. A four day stay in the ICU resulted, without answers. The fifth day. Answers, but not what we were expecting: “It looks like cancerous cells” the nurse said. My 28-year-old healthy, non-smoking, half-marathon-running husband had lung cancer. We are released to meet that evening with the oncologist the next day. We were gripping to the thought that we caught it early as the day dragged until the appointment. Strike Two Stage IV. Stage IV lung cancer. A cancer that has a survival rate of 50% for the first year and 4 % by the fifth year. He underwent more tests to ensure the best treatment plan, and he began. Fourteen months later, with many ups and downs, he is thriving, not just surviving. Strike Three Late on Sunday evening two months ago, my husband started having seizures. Seizures, when you’re a cancer patient, most likely means cancer has metastasized to the brain. After many tests, and more doctors, the seizures are unrelated to the cancer. Praise God. What Gets Us Through Rejoice in hope. Many days it is a struggle to find the hope. My husband still has stage IV lung cancer and now epilepsy. However, I can sit in self-pity, or I can remember and know that God’s plan is best, His will is best, and that brings me hope! Be patient in tribulation. This one is most challenging for me. In the trenches of tribulation, the last thing I want to do is be patient. I want answers now or I want out now. I find that placing myself in the presence of the Eucharist in Adoration brings clarity, light, strength, and peace for all the things I don’t have answers for. Be constant in prayer. There have been many times over the last 14 months where I have been unable to pray. I have been completely overwhelmed, exhausted, emotional, and scared. At those points I know it is the prayers of those around us that keep us going. When I finally get back together, I use songs, so many songs, as my prayers. There are also days when just weeping on my knees is prayer enough. He knows your pain and suffering, just turn to Him and entrust your situation to Him. He’s ready to take it. In what way is God calling your to rejoice, be patient and pray? [bctt tweet="3 Strikes: Rejoice, Be Patient, Pray #BISblog //" via="no"] Maureen Fiudo hails from Upstate NY but has found her home in the Midwest. She loves praising the Lord through song, spending time outdoors and a good cup of coffee. Helping women see their beauty within brings her joy! You can follow her husband’s cancer journey here.

Dating and holiness are not two words that I often associate with each other. The modern, free-range dating of today’s world leaves us with precious few saintly examples to follow in this regard. We know St. Gianna Molla met her husband relatively late in life, not marrying until the age of 32. Very little is known about the discernment of the famous married saints, Sts. Louis and Marie-Azélie Martin. And though our Blessed Mother seems like a rather lofty source for dating advice, I still cannot help but wonder about how exactly she met St. Joseph. We can speculate based on what we know about ancient Jewish culture, but ultimately their meeting was a result of divine grace fully at work in their lives. Obviously, Mary’s marriage to St. Joseph was unique in many ways. But there is undoubtedly much we can learn from Our Lady both about dating, sanctity, and the relation between the two. The Harsh Reality of Modern Dating As a single, 27-year-old woman who has lived in the modern dating world for nearly a decade, I have had my share of ill-fated romances. Relationships in my twenties have thus far proved to be many things, from the downright unholy disasters of my pre-conversion days, to good-willed discernment between two friends, to long-distance flirtatious phone buddies, to one particularly disastrous whirlwind similar to a dance led by a manipulative, controlling, and egotistical bear. These relationships have bloomed in various ways over the years with each one ultimately dying, some withering gently like a lily, others violently being plucked apart petal by petal, each time ultimately ending with, “He loves me not”. And while most things tend to become simpler with practice, dating so far has not proved to be one of them. Though chastity has definitely become a lens by which I have gained additional clarity, the process of dating has by no means become easy. With the age and experience I have gained in this decade of life, I would expect that this process would become somewhat simpler, but the truth is that it seems to have gotten harder. Dating and Waiting Perhaps because in some way the stakes become higher as we age, especially in Catholic circles where marriage is the very obvious goal. Perhaps because the older we get, the more real the fears of loneliness and never having a family become. Not to mention the increasing awkwardness of being the single one at various functions, getting dinner with your parents (not your husband), and the general feeling that you are missing out in life. For me personally, breakups have been especially challenging. This is due to a combination of character traits, which include an extreme aversion to conflict and the tendency to only see people's good qualities and potential. Or my optimism and sunny-disposition have actually proven to be foolish. Surely my Protestant boyfriend will come around to the Church, I said to myself. Even when he insisted on having us watch videos with titles such as “Girl Escapes Catholicism by the Grace of God”. Trusting God in the Midst of Dating I think ultimately it boils down to fear and distrust. My fears are manifestations of my distrust in God. If only I could have more faith in God’s love, plan, and unfailing power to correct the millions of ways I have failed! If only I could live out what I know at some deep level of my heart, that the only time we are ever "missing out" is when we have turned our backs on God. That anytime we are united to Christ and living His will for us, there is no lack. Though the cross remains, in some mysterious way “our cup overflows”. That even though our life is not a reflection of our desperate petitions to God, He is still weaving together something beautiful from our lives. Even if we lack the perspective to see it now. Dating and Holiness are Compatible Though the landscape of modern dating may appear to be alien territory to our brothers and sisters who have gone before us, the ultimate goal of unity with Christ remains joyfully at the helm of all our worldly endeavors. We know that marriage is a beautiful gift and a calling from God. We pray that this gift may lead us ever closer to Christ and our eternal home with Him. In the meantime, seeing marriage in this light should make dating a bit simpler. For any worthwhile relationship should bring us closer to Jesus, making us more fully alive in Him. Thus, like our Immaculate Mother, may we also have the courage to live out in our own way Mary’s fiat as we meditate on her holy words: Behold I am the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to your word. Are you currently in the dating game? What's been great? What's been challenging? [bctt tweet="Dating and the Quest for Holiness #BISblog //" via="no"] Sarah Bluhm is a Catholic revert who relies constantly on the mercy of God and His grace to direct her life. A graduate student at Creighton University and Catholic school teacher, Sarah is happiest when visiting with good friends, drinking an early morning coffee, or basking in the beauty of nature.

The first time I remember learning about St. Anne was when I was in the fourth grade and I had to write a short paper on whichever saint I wanted. I chose St. Anne since we shared the same name. I actually recently got to reread the paper I wrote, and in it, I said, "Anne was a holy woman who kept praying even when it seemed useless." To me, she's the patron saint of doing so. St. Anne and her husband suffered from infertility for years before they were able to conceive. But from what we know about Sts. Anne and Joachim (which is only through tradition and legend, so it's not very much and it's hard to know if it's entirely true), we've been told that they continued to be faithful and continued to pray during that time. The remained faithful during that time of not yet, that time of waiting, that time of preparation. The Mom and Dad of Our Mom And I'm sure the preparation couldn't have been rushed, because they were preparing for something that changed the course of their lives and our entire world. They were preparing for the conception, birth, and raising of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Even if we don't really know much about Sts. Anne and Joachim, we can infer from the fact that they were the parents of the mother of God that they were holy people, hopeful people, and praying people. Sts. Anne and Joachim and Waiting I love the story of their waiting because it's such a strong reminder to me that the time we spend waiting for our prayers to be answered is not wasted time or a stagnant time. It's a time full of hope with what the Lord has in store for us. It's time that we can work on abandoning ourselves to His will and seeking it out every single day. I like the way Henri Nouwen wrote about waiting. He said that a waiting person is a patient person, and that the word "patience" means "the willingness to stay where we are and live the situation out to the full in the belief that something hidden there will manifest itself to us." He also specified that, "waiting is never a movement from nothing to something. It is always a movement from something to something more." That last note especially tells me that as I wait for X, Y or Z, that this time has purpose -- and that I do too, as I wait. Living with Christ in the Present Moment So the feast of Sts. Anne and Joachim represents for me a day to live fully in the present moment, even if it's not what I wish it were. This feast day reminds me to live through this present moment with hope, which is when we place our trust in God's promises and rely on His strength, and not on our own. If you're waiting for His answer to your prayer or if you're feeling like you're in a rut just waiting for something or someone, I want to nudge you a little closer to our grandmother today, St. Anne, and her husband, St. Joachim. Like all grandparents, I trust that they want what's best for us, that they adore us, and that they are talking all about us to our Lord. We have so many great saints to call on for intercession, and for hope and in times of waiting, I think of St. Anne and St. Joachim first. Do you have a devotion to Sts. Anne and Joachim? How have they impacted your life? [bctt tweet="The Feast of Sts. Anne and Joachim #BISblog //" via="no"] Annie Deddens is a writer and producer. She runs a prayer ministry with her husband, called Pray More Novenas. She has a heart for the sick & suffering, and she writes about living with greater faith (hope & love, too) in this imperfect world as a Catholic wife on her blog. You can find out more about her here.