“Thus were the paths of those on earth made straight.” Wisdom 9:18b.
Wisdom knows to wait gracefully on the Lord. I, on the other hand, not so much.
When my brother entered seminary in the Midwest, I was still working in Boston. I had a very strong sense of wanting to return to be near him through his seminary years, and that one day we might be working together shoulder to shoulder for the Church.
One evening on the phone, he told me about a Master’s program in Catholic Studies offered on the same campus where he would study. Before we ended the call, I was on their website, reading the class descriptions. I wanted to take every single one of them.
I burned for this in a way I cannot quite describe. I applied for a fellowship and told myself that this would be the sign if I was to leave Harvard and go back to school for another Masters: if I won that fellowship.
My brothers and I prayed and fasted, and we waited in hopeful anticipation. The Lord would call me back to be part of their lives again in a more personal way. I could feel it.
Then, the envelope arrived. I tore it open to read: “Thank you for applying . . . We had many stellar applicants . . . and you were not chosen for a fellowship.”
I was heart sick. I called my brothers weeping inconsolably over the phone. I had been so sure. I was so inconsolable, I called in sick the next day.
On the following day when I returned to my office, the voicemail light was blinking. The director for the graduate program to which I had applied called the day I missed work to say: they had four fellowships to offer. I was number five in the lineup. Number four decided to go to school elsewhere, which meant I won a fellowship.
“Who can conceive what the Lord intends,” (Wisdom 9:13) questions the Wisdom author, except those who trust in the Holy Spirit?
Let’s trust the burn of the Holy Spirit, and wait on the Lord, our refuge, in every age.
Trust the burn of the Holy Spirit. // Liz KellyClick to tweet
Liz Kelly is a jazz singer who met Jesus in late-night adoration. She is the author of more than a dozen award-winning books, includingAnchored by Hope, Meditations to Calm the Anxious Soul, Jesus Approaches, Love Like a Saint, and A Place Called Golgotha. Her take home retreat forJesus Approaches has been called "a spa for the soul." She holds advanced degrees in creative writing and Catholic studies. She is trained as a spiritual director, leading retreats and speaking around the world with a particular focus on helping women to flourish in their faith. Visit her website at LizK.org. Her popular column, Your Heart, His Home is available on Substack.
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