It wasn’t uncommon for my exasperated mom to cry out, “I can’t have anything nice because of you kids!” when my brothers or I broke, stained, or ruined something around our childhood home. For awhile I felt insulted by her response. We were something nice that she had—us kids!—and how could we not be more important than fragile decorations, clean carpeting, or expensive appliances?!
Now that I’m a mother myself I understand, though. I, too, have been known to mutter (or cry out) the same phrase when my kids track mud through the house I just cleaned or plow toy trucks through my flower garden.
In the Gospel Jesus explains to the Jews that Moses allowed divorce because of the “hardness of your hearts” “but from the beginning it was not so” (Matthew 19:8). Relationships, and especially those within a family, can be so hard and filled with such pain. I sometimes wonder if God the Father shakes His head and says, “We can’t have nice things because of you kids . . . .”
But of course that’s not how God is. I have to remind myself that God is not a reflection of my personality but, rather, I should be a reflection of His.
Our loving Father never shakes His head and mutters about us, instead He is patient and merciful. So many of us have experienced fractured relationships in our families, marriages, and friend circles and for any number of reasons! God wants so much for us to experience healing, even in circumstances of divorce. He arranges every opportunity for us to return to Him so He may be with us in our suffering and bring us comfort.
The Church explains her position on divorce beautifully here.
Bonnie Engstrom is a writer, baker, speaker, and homemaker. She, her husband, and seven children live in central Illinois, and her son’s alleged miraculous healing through the intercession of Venerable Fulton Sheen was submitted to the Vatican for Sheen’s beatification. Bonnie pretends she has a green thumb, bakes a fantastic chocolate chip cookie, loves naps and chai tea, and blogs. You can find out more about her here. She is the author of the Blessed Conversations Mystery: Believe study found here.
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