The word "motivated" means, “having an incentive or a strong desire to do well or succeed in some pursuit.” Being a motivated woman is important. A woman of hope, a woman who is pursuing the good, true, and beautiful, and a woman whose goal is heaven can change lives, starting with her own. Being a motivated woman enables us to fulfill the tasks of our vocation and our goals. It allows us to be generous to others, fully giving of ourselves from a place of abundance. Examine Your Motives Before discussing ways we can get motivated, we must distinguish between good and bad motivations. One way to discern this is by asking ourselves the “why” behind our actions. What is our motivation? As Catholic women, our motivation should be to “to seek God, to know Him, and to love Him with all our strength” (CCC 1). All we do should be motivated by this: to know, love, and serve God in this life so that we may know, love, and serve Him in heaven. More Than A Feeling Too often, I go in waves of feeling motivated and unmotivated. Some days I feel like I can accomplish anything, while other days I feel weak, dry, and uninspired. Something I do that helps me with this is to do my daily tasks and complete my goals no matter how I feel. Feelings are good and important, yet feelings do not always align with reality. When we complete a good action, no matter how we feel, we are practicing discipline and using our will. The Saints show us how to do this. I think of Saint Teresa of Calcutta, a woman who, for most of her life, didn’t “feel Christ’s presence,” yet was able to accomplish her goals of service and charity because she was motivated by love for Christ. We may not always feel motivated. In fact, working towards becoming the best woman we can be may even be a painful process at times. Yet if we are faithful to what we are being called to do, if we discipline our will through good actions, and faithfully strive towards our goals, we will see the fruit and God’s incredible movement in our lives. Ways to Get Motivated (When You Haven't Been for a While) Get To The Root Is there something that is causing you to be unmotivated? Is there something that is blocking you or distracting you from striving towards Heaven? Once a week, I try to discern what that is for myself. It could be as simple as the change in season, when I don’t want to climb out of bed for an early morning workout when it is dark. It could be as complex and heavy as the loss of a friend, and I don’t even want to accomplish my daily tasks. Whatever it is, take time, whether daily, weekly, or monthly, to get to the root of your lack of motivation. When we do this we are able to address the issue instead of covering it up. Spiritual direction, frequent Confession, counseling, and/or therapy helps us both pinpoint what may be affecting us and discover tangible ways we can work through loss of motivation. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Know Your Vocation Our vocation is our mission in life, it’s what God made us to do. Clearly knowing what our vocation is allows us to order our life and our priorities. We are able to discern what our tasks are. It gives meaning to our life and focuses the motivation behind our actions. When we understand, embrace, and live out our vocation, we begin to live the abundant life. (John 10:10) Knowing our universal vocation of holiness, to love and serve God, our primary vocation of the gift of ourselves as married, religious, single, or consecrated women, and our secondary vocations of professional work in and out of the home helps us discover our motivation and outline our goals. Define your vocation, write down your duties, and set time aside for each of your daily tasks. Set Your Goals and Plan of Action Clarity can bring freedom. What do you want? What are your desires and dreams? Establishing goals allows us to create meaning, intention, and focus each day. We feel much more energetic and motivated as we look forward to growing as individuals. We want to be the best versions of ourselves for God, for ourselves, and for one another. Setting goals is one way we accomplish this. Write down the goals that you have in mind. No goal is too small or too big. It could be the goal of folding clothes right when they come out of the dryer or walking the Camino. It could be making it to daily Mass. That’s why knowing our vocation is so important. It helps focus your goals as you set them. What I try to do every evening is to write down three goals for the next day. I also have ten monthly goals I make with my husband, Mike, at the start of every month. Whatever timeline you choose, or however many timelines you choose, I recommend writing your goals down somewhere you can see and check them off. Set A Routine I’ve shared my Rule of Life before and my passion for establishing a rhythm to my day. Routines create structure and space for our duties and tasks and at the same time allows room for the freedom to create, be spontaneous and flexible, flourish, and thrive. Instead of thinking about our to-do lists or being thrown into our day with no roadmap, we know each task has a designated time and we are able to live fully and freely in the present moment. It Takes A Village It is essential to surround ourselves with motivated, like-minded women! That’s (one of the many reasons!) why Blessed is She is so amazing. Even if you live in a small community or don’t have many goal-oriented friends, we are part of an amazing community of women. Message someone who leaves a beautiful comment under a picture on IG, or host or attend a Blessed Brunch! Find a prayer partner and ask them to hold you accountable to your daily tasks and goals. When we are part of a community and surround ourselves with people who share the same goals and passions, we begin to flourish. The root word of "happiness" in Greek means "to flourish." We are called to flourish for Christ. It’s also good to remember that we have to be a good friend to other women. When we get to the root of our problems and work through them, when we fill ourselves with Christ through the Sacraments and live a life in the Church, and when we discipline our will through action, we are able to give to others from a place of abundance! Other Helpful Resources Atomic Habits by James Clear A Mother’s Rule of Life by Holly Pierlot The Pope and the CEO by Andreas Widmer Deliverance Prayers: For Use by the Laity by Father Chad Ripperger Planner LITURGICAL PLANNERS Our Liturgical Planners are based on the Litany of Humility. Enter into prayer every day alongside this beautiful Litany. Order your days in His peace. GET YOUR PLANNER This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

Advent and Christmas are my favorite seasons in the liturgical calendar, and in our homeschool year. Each year, I look forward to carving out time in our regular school rhythm for a slower, more intentional approach to Advent. My homeschool-mom friends and I are already exchanging ideas for read-alouds, crafts, and countdowns. We're already filled with the joyful anticipation of the season. Our Advent Homeschool Morning Basket Once Advent arrives, I try to orient as much as I can in our schoolwork toward Advent and the themes of the season. This works especially well in our morning basket. For us, in this season of schooling, our morning basket includes everything that's not phonics and math. Our morning basket consists of our prayer time, Scripture, memory work, copywork, loop subjects (subjects we don't do every day like history, picture study, and geography), and chapter and picture books. Here's our Advent lineup this year for morning basket: Memory Verse // "The Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us." -John 1:14 Hymn // Each day, we will sing "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel" as we light our Advent candles. I like to assemble a playlist on Spotify with various renditions of the hymn to listen to throughout our days. Memory Poem // We will be memorizing "A Christmas Carol" by G.K. Chesterton. This poem makes me cry, and can be found in The Harp and Laurel Wreath. Catechism Song // We're learning a song about the Incarnation, including the four reasons for the Incarnation. Composer // This term, we're studying Handel, and during Advent we will be listening to his Christmas favorite, Messiah, and we will watch it performed on YouTube. What I'm most looking forward to using in our Advent homeschool morning basket is Maranatha for Kids. How We're Using Maranatha for Kids Maranatha for Kids is perfectly suited for morning time. I cannot wait to use it! My kids are still pretty young, and I don't yet have a completely independent reader. If I did, I would invite the kids to use this in their morning prayer time. Right now, my kids have their morning prayer time in conjunction with mine, which mostly consists of them looking through their Bibles and coloring in their "prayer journals." But if you have a child(ren) who like to read on their own, Maranatha for Kids would be perfect for their prayer time (while you pray with Maranatha!). How It's Set Up In Maranatha for Kids, each week we will: Read three Scripture selections that show how Jesus was a part of God's plan to save us from the very beginning, Discuss the questions provided, Color the pages to help us contemplate the coming of Christ, and Engage in a fun and prayerful activity. My oldest will be drawn to the Scripture stories and reflection questions, and my middle will absolutely love coloring. Additionally, there are spaces where the children are prompted to re-write verses that we read together; on those days, that will be their copywork. Preparing Our Hearts and the Hearts of Our Children Advent is such a gift to our Church, our hearts, and our families. If you're hoping to slow down and savor this season in your homeschool, check out Maranatha for Kids to help you immerse your children in Scripture, prepare their hearts for the coming of Jesus, and enrich your time together by learning about our beautiful Faith. P.S. You can bundle Maranatha for you and Maranatha for Kids for a discount! Will you be using Maranatha for Kids in your Advent homeschool morning basket?!   [bctt tweet="Our Advent Homeschool Morning Basket with Maranatha #BISblog //" via="no"]   This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She! HIS WORD CHANGES LIVES God is speaking to you through His Word. In this personal study, you will learn to hear God's voice by reading slowly and praying deeply. BEGIN THE JOURNEY

You know the commandments. These are Jesus’ words to the rich young man who is on his knees before Jesus, asking him what he must do to inherit eternal life. In an effort to move past the mediocrity he has identified in today’s culture, Pope Francis gave a series of papal audiences on the Commandments. In them, he discourages us from settling for what passes away. In his words, “the life of young people is about moving forward, being restless, healthy restlessness, the capacity not to be content with a life without beauty, without colour.” How to Live the Commandments We can find this life of beauty through the Commandments. In this way, the commandments we have known since we were small can become more than just a list of “Thou Shall Not’s”, and instead serve as a guide to living more beautifully. Commandments on the Love of God First Commandment // I am the Lord your God. You shall worship the Lord your God and Him only shall you serve. This means we should not treat people, special events, or things as more important than God. So often in today’s culture we are told that we are our own gods, and that the primary good is to “find your own happiness” and “live your truth.” In doing so, we make ourselves into idols. Pope Francis says that “idols enslave. They promise happiness but do not deliver it and we find ourselves living for that thing or that vision, drawn into a self-destructive vortex, waiting for a result that never comes.” It removes us from reality. A concrete way to live in the truth is by starting your morning with the Lord and forming a habit of prayer with him before the hustle of the day begins. Second Commandment // You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain. The world is saying God’s Name in vain constantly. Most often I think it’s out of ignorance rather than malice, but still it makes me cringe. I want my Creator’s Name to be revered, and to be kept sacred. I don’t want the glory of His Name to ever be spoken indifferently or absentmindedly. We can practice reparation for both intentional or unintentional disrespect of his name by saying, “I love You, Jesus” every time we hear His Name used in vain. Third Commandment // Remember to keep holy the Sabbath. When is the last time you, or anyone you know for that matter, didn’t feel “busy”? Our culture gives us so many options, activities, and forms of entertainment, we rarely take time to rest and enjoy the company of those we love the most. When viewed through that lens, this commandment really feels more like an invitation to something we know we need rather than a rule to follow. As it reads in the Catechism: The sabbath brings everyday work to a halt and provides a respite. It is a day of protest against the servitude of work and the worship of money. -CCC 2172 This is much easier said than done, but there are many small things we can do during our Sunday to bring more rest into the Sabbath. Consider trying to do any extra studying, work, or grocery shopping on Saturday instead of Sunday in order to reserve a few extra hours of rest and leisure with your loved ones. Commandments on the Love of Neighbor Fourth Commandment // Honor your father and your mother. When I was little, my dad really disliked the Disney Channel because the children in the shows were often disrespectful to their parents and made their mom and dad look silly and out of touch. With the benefit of hindsight, I see that my dad was spot on. These T.V. shows portrayed a lot of disrespect to elders. As I have grown older, I come to appreciate my parents more with each passing year. Still, as adults, there are different ways we can be tempted to dishonor our parents, such as being impatient when offering IT support when they need help learning Facebook video calling, sending a photo via text, or making a pick-up order online. Or maybe they have differing political views, or the same political views, but express them more radically. Yes, it can be easier to be impatient with family, because we’re comfortable with them, but that is no excuse. Now, when I look at my own daughter, I am reminded to show my parents the same patience and care that they gave to me from the moment I was born. Fifth Commandment // You shall not kill. While at first read this sounds pretty straightforward, this commandment is also one of the main texts which informs the Church’s teachings on abortion, sterilization, and unjust killing. Furthermore, it includes sins which can put others down and harm their reputation, for example, the sin of gossip. When a woman confessed the sin of gossip to Saint Philip Neri, her penance was to take a feather pillow, rip it open, and watch the feathers blow with the wind. Then, she was to go and collect each one of the feathers that had been ripped out. His point of course, is that we cannot undo our words. I try to think of this story when I am tempted to fill a silent void with gossip. Sixth Commandment // You shall not commit adultery. Chastity is not popular in today’s society, nor is it easy. In fact, the media tries to normalize lust, claiming that it’s all just fun and games. Chastity of thought, word, and action requires integrity and self-mastery. In practicing control of the will, one can break free from the enslavement of the passions. We don’t have to look far to see all the ways the world is telling us that chastity is unimportant and old-fashioned, but living this commandment well offers a path to an unbelievable freedom to love instead of using others for our own pleasure. You’ll have to fight for it, but freedom from lustful addictions can be found. Seventh Commandment // You shall not steal. This commandment isn’t just talking about shoplifting, it’s calling us on to generosity. It is Jesus directing us to be good stewards of our time and possessions. In the words of Pope Francis, this commandment means to “love with your goods, make use of your means to love as best you can. Then your life becomes good and your property truly becomes a gift.” He reminds us that our life is meant to be given as a gift. In uncertain times, it can be easy to hoard, but Jesus invites us to lean into surrender and trust. Eighth Commandment // You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. Revenge and getting even is tempting, but Jesus is telling us here to remember what the Book of James tells us about God being the lawgiver, not us. Jesus shines the way for living out this eighth commandment when he stands before Pontius Pilate and testifies to the truth. We need to pray for the same steadfastness as Jesus had. We need to pray that He will help us speak words out of love and with love, even at times when fraternal correction is needed. Ninth and Tenth Commandments // You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods. These last two commandments sound a lot like sixth and seventh commandments. Pope Francis explains that what this points out is that all offense against God is rooted in evil desires. Failure to follow the ninth commandment leads to divorce and popularization of dating sites geared for those who are already in committed relationships. Failure to obey the tenth commandment can lead to a “Keeping up with the Joneses” mentality and as a consequence, a loss of joy. We obey the ninth commandment by honoring and respecting our spouse and loving them wholeheartedly. We obey the tenth commandment by having a heart of gratitude for what we have, and avoiding the comparison game. Help from the Holy Spirit We cannot overcome temptation on our own. When we do it on our own, we eat the apple in the garden just like Adam and Eve did. We need to ask the Holy Spirit for help every day and throughout the day. If we ask Him, he will come, and he will help us to enter into the freedom which following the Ten Commandments provide.   [bctt tweet="How to Live the Commandments When the Culture is Trying to Put Them to Death #BISblog //" via="no"]

November is here, the holidays are fast approaching, and that means that traditional social gatherings will be taking place. The majority of us spend the holidays with our families, and while seasonal commercials and hallmark movies like to make these get-togethers look joyous and fun, we all know in reality, that this is not always the case. We live in a broken world, and many of our intimate circles are just as broken. Even in the most perfect-looking family, there are extreme difficulties and challenges occurring. For many people, the holidays are lonely, ostracizing, and emotionally draining because of family or lack thereof. There are unending reasons as to why the holidays may not be happy times for others (recent deaths, difference in religious or political beliefs, mental health, abuse of any kind, infidelity, etc.) so I’ve compiled a list of saints who dealt with difficulties in their family lives as well in the hopes that they will intercede and give us strength to make healthy and virtuous decisions about the holidays. Although, this sort of help will certainly be useful in difficult situations at any part of the year! Litany of Saints Saint Joseph The head of the Holy Family, it could be tempting to think his home life was rather pleasant and full of constant peace. However, we know that Joseph had to deal with many difficulties—including the discovery that his betrothed was pregnant before their wedding feast had taken place. Though undoubtedly crushed (who wouldn’t be in that kind of situation?), Joseph acted with mercy. He decided to divorce Mary quietly and did not bring formal charges against her according to Mosaic Law. Had he done so, Mary would have been stoned to death for adultery. By divorcing her, it could be assumed by others that Joseph was the father and was simply abandoning both her and the child. Joseph knows that pain and confusion of family difficulties. May we all find it within us to show mercy and find heavenly guidance, just as he did. Blessed Philip Hong Pil-ju Philip’s mother died when he was a young boy. When his father remarried, his stepmother introduced him to Catholicism which was illegal in Korea at the time. Philip’s father was not as receptive as his son, ridiculed them both, and abandoned them for a concubine because of it. Both Philip and his stepmother, Blessed Columba Kang Wan-suk, were eventually imprisoned and martyred for harboring the local priest. May they both intercede for us when our family or community ridicules, abandons, or persecutes us because of our Faith. Blessed Lojze Grozde A Sloveian Catholic who was rejected by both of his parents who were ashamed they had bore him out of wedlock, Lojze was raised by his maternal grandparents and an aunt. Though his parents and his step-father were still “around,” they never fully accepted him. When he was nineteen and traveling home from college, Lojze was searched by communists, who discovered that he was carrying The Imitation of Christ and a booklet on Fatima. Lojze was tortured and martyred. May Lojze pray for us especially when we feel unloved by our parents. Saint Dymphna With normalizing conversation surrounding mental health gaining much-needed momentum, devotion to this Saint is on the rise. The death of Dymphna’s mother left her father completely shaken and broken. Since Dymphna bore a striking resemblance, her father (the king) decided that she would be his next wife. Dymphna ran away, but was eventually captured and killed. Many of us have family members with severe mental illness; some of us may also be victims of incest. May Saint Dymphna intercede on our behalf, to give us courage to know what to do to protect ourselves in these often torturous situations. Saint Flora of Cordoba A 9th century Spanish Saint who knows the sting of personal betrayal far too well. Flora’s mother raised her as a Christian, keeping it a secret from her Muslim father. When she was discovered, she endured torture and abuse… even being sent to a brothel as punishment. When she refused to renounce Christ, she was beheaded. May Saint Flora give us comfort when we’ve been deeply scared by those who are supposed to love us most. Saint Thomas Aquinas Though the family of this well-known Saint didn’t necessarily hate his Faith, they certainly hate how seriously he took it. When Thomas entered the Dominican order, his family was ashamed of his choice and went to extreme measures to try to get him to change his mind. He resisted successfully, but surely it was heart-wrenching to have one’s family be so against what one loves! Saint Francis of Assisi When Francis experienced his radical conversion, and began giving away his father’s goods to the poor, his father demanded everything be returned to him before disowning his son. Francis striped down naked, handed his clothes to his father, and chose to continue following Christ. The local priest then took off his outer robe and placed it on Francis… somewhat symbol of where he would now find family and love. When our families disown us for following Christ, may we experience acceptance and belonging within the Universal Church. Saint Marguerite d’Youville Marguerite’s husband had a severe drinking problem, was often absent from the home, and made money through illegal trading before his early death. A widow, she also had to endure the deaths of four of her six children in infancy. May Saint Marguerite be with us when we encounter loss, after loss, after loss. Blessed Catalina de Maria Rodriguez Though she herself felt called to religious life, Catalina’s spiritual director wrongly pushed her into marrying his widowed best friend through manipulation and guilt trips. She became the step-mother to his two children, grew to love them, and their love consoled her after the stillborn birth of her only child. When her husband died, she followed her vocational desires and began a religious order in her native country of Argentina. Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati A joyous Blessed despite the troubles at home,Pier Giorgio’s parents were on the brink of divorce at the time of his death. It was the impact of Pier Giorgio’s life on others that they witnessed at his funeral the inspired the couple to continue to fight for their relationship and make it work. Saint Matilda She was a queen with rival sons who fought over power when their father died. Eventually they united, only to turn on their mother who was giving away monarchy treasure to the poor. In loving response, she repaid them with her own inheritance from her father and retired in solitude to a villa. Later they called her back and asked for forgiveness. Matilda understands the pain a mother feels when her children are each other's enemies, and also how it feels to have your children be disgusted with your choices. Saint Adelaide of Burgundy This royal Saint has an incredible story of marriage, death, capture, escape, and a happy remarriage. However, her second husband also died when her children were young. When they became adults, her daughter-in-law turned her son (whose throne she had protected at great cost) against her. May Saint Adelaide pray for us when our sons-and-daughters-in-law hate us and turn our children against us, forgetting all the great sacrifices we made for them. Saint Elizabeth of Hungary Another royal Saint who married for love, Elizabeth had learned the consolation of Christ at six years old when her mother was murdered. She lived her Faith well throughout her life, bringing it into her marriage. Her generosity to the poor was not deemed appropriate by her in-laws. When her husband died, she was exiled and denied the goods owed to her as the King’s widow. May Saint Elizabeth intercede for those of us whose in-laws do not approve of our Faith. Saint Margaret of Cortona Margaret’s stepmother was so unaccepting and cruel that Margaret ran away from home to be rid of her. She found a home with a man who became her lover and they had a child together, living happily for years. Sadly, one day, Margaret found the body of her love murdered in the woods and she became hyper aware of her own mortality. In fear, she returned to her step mother and was not well-received. May Saint Margaret pray for those of us seeking forgiveness for the sins which have hurt our family. Blessed Seraphina Sforza Seraphina married a widower with two children when she was sixteen. Despite her youth, she was wise and virtuous, so much so that when her husband went away to war, he left her in charge of all his duties. In a shocking twist, when he returned, he had an extremely public affair to the disgust and bewilderment of their children and household. Humiliated, Seraphina joined a convent. Her husband eventually came crawling back, asking forgiveness, which she gave him, but they never lived as husband and wife again. For those of us who have experienced the unfaithfulness of a spouse, may Blessed Seraphina send us grace to heal! Saint Kateri Tekakwitha As a Mohawk, Christianity was incredibly foreign to Kateri’s culture. It was really no wonder that when she was orphaned, she was eventually considered an outcast by her extended family because of her devotion to Christ. May Saint Kateri intercede for those of us who come from cultures that oppose our Faith. Blessed Anna Maria Taigi A housewife and mother of seven, Anna Maria was a breathtakingly beautiful woman greatly concerned with her appearance and clothing. Because of her beauty and confidence, her hot-tempered husband abused her, trying to keep her confidence down. She sought solace in the arms of another man and had an affair. Naturally, after her conversion, she ended the relationship, but she had to mentally and emotionally come to terms with her actions and also forgive herself. She is patron of verbal and spousal abuse. May Blessed Anna Maria pray for those of us in abusive relationships, and for those of us who have cheated on our spouses. May we also find the freedom, healing, and authentic love and acceptance of Christ that she did. Keep Your Heavenly Friends Close Satan likes to isolate us—especially women. Often those of us with imperfect families and backgrounds are tempted to feel discouraged and ashamed. However, the lives of these Saints prove that holiness has little to do with perfect life situations and everything to do with turning to Christ with all our “muck.” If you’re struggling with dysfunction in your family, remember that your situation may not be as unique as you think. We are all dealing with brokenness. If you need some extra help, we encourage you to print this litany and keep it handy, calling on the Saints daily and in your moments of difficulty! Which Saints do you turn to in difficult family situations?   [bctt tweet="Litany of Saints for Difficult Family Situations #BISblog //" username="grace_swap"]

When the Christ Child has been born in our hearts in a special way this Christmas, when we have set aside our Advent devotionals, we wanted something more for you for the Christmas season. This Christmas, we want you to feast and celebrate the Names of Jesus Christ, all throughout the season from Christmas Day up until the Feast of the Presentation of Our Lord. Emmanuel, God with Us Laura Kelly Fanucci wrote this beautiful book for you to bring Jesus more intimately into your homes and hearts: Emmanuel: A Christmas Feast. Each day of the Christmas season you will meditate over Scripture, a prayer and reflection, and then immerse yourself in a traditional hymn or an excerpt from a Church Father. It's our first large hard-cover book! It makes for a family treasure to be examined year after year with original paintings, stunning layout, and thoughtful reflections. Get the Book + a Bundle Of course, we know you love bundles, as we do, too! Here are our Advent devotional, Marantha: The Story of the Savior and Emmanuel: A Christmas Feast together! Take in the gifts and fruits of the Christmas season with twenty-three Names of Jesus being examined, prayed with, and illuminated in your understanding of Our Lord. We are thrilled to be able to offer this special book to you and hope it graces your table for many years to come.   [bctt tweet="Feasting into the Christmas Season with Our New Book, "Emmanuel" #BISblog //" via="no"]

My soul is thirsting for you. // Psalm 63:2 Love this beautiful print from Elma of A Yearning Heart. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! “Just don’t tell them you are on the pill or they won’t let you become Catholic.” His words circled my head as I sat in the RCIA director’s office for the first time. Rather than coming straight at the issue, I tiptoed. “I think I am fully committed to becoming Catholic, but there may be one or two... okay, just one of the teachings about which I am not 100% convicted. I am already raising two kids, and we have conceived three times now very easily in just a few years, and I am just not sure I can handle a bunch more of kids." I rambled slightly, but was met with a loving, understanding reply, “Many feel like you do when they start out. Just come to the classes, learn about actual Church teaching, and then make up your mind.” Facing Assumptions about Catholics and Fertility We had heard the assumptions about why some Catholics practice NFP: The Church just wants more Catholics. It’s a patriarchal system keeping the women barefoot and pregnant. Priests are obsessed with what goes on in the bedroom because they are celibate themselves. There were lots of suggestions from people outside the Church, but I had never heard a rational explanation. In preparation for the class Marriage and Family Life, I listened to a recorded talk by Janet Smith on the topic of contraception and it blew my mind. I subtly slid the CD of the talk to my husband to listen to on his commute. He came home as convicted as I was after really listening to the science. “You mean we are putting your life at risk for convenience? Let me see your pills.” The engineer in him wanted to look at the data. Sure enough, in teeny-tiny print, the risks were laid out. As a couple we completed the risk-reward evaluation and signed up for NFP classes. Many Roads Lead to NFP Many approach NFP from a purely spiritual dimension, embracing the trust, obedience, self-control, and discipline that comes from practicing NFP. The Church does not require that we commit to the tough stuff on faith alone. We use both faith and reason. We were motivated by the science behind NFP and were rewarded by an outflowing of grace and continued growth in trusting the Lord, obedience, self-control and discipline, which in turn help our faith life to flourish. We sometimes joke that my husband wanted two kids, I wanted three, and so we compromised with four. In a compromise though, no one gets what he or she wants without making concessions. In reality, we didn’t compromise in terms of family size. We opened our hearts to love, and to cooperating with the grace of God in the most intimate part of our life. And we got more than we could ever have thought to hope for. After switching to NFP, we gained two daughters to follow our two sons, attained a respect for natural fertility, came to a stronger understanding of the beauty of God’s design, and developed a deeper intimacy than we could have found otherwise. [elementor-template id="415212"] Fertility After Children About 10 years later, we found ourselves faced with another fertility challenge. After five pregnancies and four c-sections, my reproductive system was a mess. I was in pain, married life was suffering because of it, and my devout Catholic, “second opinion,” pelvic pain specialist had to break the news that it was time for a hysterectomy. I was fairly certain our family felt pretty full at the time, so I could be okay with not having more children naturally. We had always talked about adopting any future children anyway. Not only was pregnancy not sustainable for me, but my life would also be at risk if I did become pregnant. A lifetime of what had become chronic pain and risk could be avoided with a clear solution. After speaking with my parish priest, I was able to see that being open to life can take many forms. Sometimes it means showing prudence in a way that forces us to give the gift of self in another way. Marriage After Hysterectomy We experienced first hand how NFP changes the dynamics of a marriage and in particular how chastity and patience is cultivated when we were obedient to the teaching of the Church. What would happen when we entered an infertile time of life and those teachings were applied differently? And so it is, now in this third decade of togetherness, my husband and I find ourselves living without the restrictions placed on us by phases and body signs. After having grown in intimacy, respect, and lots and lots of patience, we have a very different relationship than when we first fell in love. Our time practicing NFP helped us to recognize our intimacy as a gift that we treasure. Our fertility, although passed, hasn’t been taken for granted. As I look at my parents and my husband’s parents, I see a deep respect they have for one another. They have a connection in their post-fertile lives that runs deeper than any goal-oriented intimacy or passion-based romance. Their love is found in the coffee they share in the mornings, the walks together in the evenings, working side by side in the garden or playing together with the grandchildren. I know they share intimacy in other ways too, but we don’t really talk about that! Growing Closer to God and Our Spouses In our years together, my husband and I have moved through phases of fertility and grown in both our love for one another and our love of the Church. Whether you are struggling with the teachings as we did initially, fully open to life, struggling to conceive, hyper-fertile, or living with infertility at any stage of marriage, your fertility likely is something that is, has been, or will be dynamic. Our attitude towards family life, family size, God’s providence and our own fertility is something that grows and develops as well if we let it. Our experiences can help us to grow closer as a couple and as children of God, or it can make us divided and bitter. As someone who has experienced many sides of fertility, I can say there are blessings in all situations. I encourage you to continue to let the Lord into your heart throughout your fertility journey, and when in doubt ask him to reveal the blessings in the moment. If you want more on the Church's rich teachings on these engaging topics, our best-selling study, "Blessed Conversations: Rooted," dives into the Catechism's teachings and now offers a video companion series along with it featuring Theological Editor Susanna Spencer and Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Get it here.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Hysterectomy #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! As a single woman, I can recall with ease the items on my own “life goals” list: Be accountable to a daily habit of prayer...be purposeful about deepening healthy friendships...never take Mass for granted...rediscover a lost hobby... For many of my early single years what was not at the top of any goals list of mine was to gain a deeper understanding of my fertility. While I grew up in a home in which my parents honored the teachings of the Catholic Church and willingly practiced natural family planning (NFP) and fertility awareness, it really didn’t come to the forefront of my own mind and heart until I was well into my twenties. A “Fertility Conversion” I was 25 at the time and living in a house of seven young professional Christian women. I remember with great clarity standing in my kitchen making dinner and having an eye-opening conversation with a roommate about how that “weird mucus” I was seeing when going to the bathroom was actually a key indicator that I was entering my fertile time and preparing to ovulate. This was news to me, and I was stunned. I was painfully aware of how little I knew about my own fertility, but I was committed to diving in and learning more. With the prompting of a friend I found myself learning the Creighton Model FertilityCare™ system, one of a few effective ways to monitor fertility to achieve a pregnancy, avoid a pregnancy, or in my case, simply monitor and care for reproductive health. Years later, I would become a Creighton Model practitioner myself, and have since worked with hundreds of women and couples who desire to more deeply understand their God-given fertility. It’s Not Just About Having a “Regular” Cycle As I often remind my clients, charting a menstrual cycle is far more than knowing “about how long” your cycle is or when your period is about to start. It’s about recognizing what a healthy period is (and what it is not), what a healthy ovulatory time is (and what it is not), and what a healthy post-ovulatory time is (and what it is not). It’s about being attentive to the emotional and psychological changes that come throughout the cycle and recognizing that these hormonal cascades are a beautiful symphony that God has orchestrated within us. Being attentive to the patterns of our cycles is one of the best ways to know when we are well and when we are struggling. While I love working with engaged and married couples and helping them to confidently identify their times of fertility and infertility, I have to say that some of my favorite clients are just like me—single women. Sometimes they show up to my classes with a simple desire to learn. Other times they are struggling with health concerns like endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome, heavy periods, or debilitating PMS. Beginning to chart is the first and best way for these clients to observe their own unique cycles so that they can get to the root cause of their health concerns and seek treatment. [bctt tweet="Being attentive to the patterns of our cycles is one of the best ways to know when we are well and when we are struggling. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] A Window Into My Own Health Most recently in this highly stressful time (thank you, pandemic) I’ve seen first-hand how stress can impact my cycle, making it feel less like the orchestral piece that it is designed to be. Charting the signs of my fertility has given me a clear window into my own health, reminding me that if I want to care for my fertility I need to eat well, sleep well, step away from screens, go on long walks in these picturesque autumn days, breathe deep, and find time for conversations with God. My chart is the starting point for all of that. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY A Gift for All Women While the practice of natural family planning has grown by leaps and bounds over the past few decades and I am deeply grateful for the wisdom of the Church to guide our conversation, in many ways we are still coming to realize and affirm that methods of fertility awareness are not just for engaged or married couples. They are for single women, too, who can greatly benefit from the wisdom that comes from charting. Whether you marry in six months, marry much later in life, or discover a religious vocation, charting is a beautiful practice for all. Age doesn’t matter. Knowing your cycle, and knowing it well, is a gift for all women. If you aren’t charting your cycle yet and all of this is new to you, it’s okay. Remember my story? It took me a while to get there, too. Put it at the top of your own “goals” list. Take that first step to put those beautiful orchestral notes down on paper. It’ll be totally worth it, I promise.   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Charting While Single #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! On the wall, above our family altar, around which our prayer life centers, is an icon family of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux. Saint Thérèse and her three sisters who entered Carmel stand framed each side of the image in their Carmelite habits, while her sister, Servant of God Léonie, stands third in from the right. And in the center are the blessed parents of this family, Saints Louis and Zélie Martin. But the part of the image that always tugs at my heart are the two little ones held close in Saint Zélie’s arms and the two standing at her feet. The Martins lost three babies in infancy and their daughter Helene at the age of five. When I look at Saint Zélie, I never fail to see myself surrounded by my four living children, but I also see and almost feel in my arms the three I never got to hold. The three who passed away and then passed from my body unknown to most of the world, but they are not unknown to God. My Miscarriages My husband and I lost our first baby in 2010 when my eldest was ten months old. We were enthusiastic about having a large Catholic family, my cycles had returned, so we were open to conception. (Full disclosure: I started charting fifteen months before our wedding and have always been a meticulous charter.) But the cycle had a weird ending. The bleeding was not quite right. And I had a strange hunch. My doctor was Catholic and very willing to order a blood test, which showed that there had been a teeny tiny human living inside of me, if only briefly. A little life that flashed into existence, and then passed on to the mercy of God. I only told my best mom-friend and my sister about this first loss. They both had lost babies, and both understood. The Second Loss I managed to have two full-term pregnancies before our second loss. We then had three little girls ages five and under. Sweet little girls with big brown eyes. We lost our second baby during Holy Week in 2014. I scheduled a six-week ultrasound for Holy Thursday, but when we went in, the baby was measuring too small. There was no heartbeat. The nurse did some blood work. The next day, on our way out of the Good Friday liturgy my doctor called from the steps of her church. "I’m so sorry, Susanna,” she said. “Your HCG levels were too low. The baby is no longer alive.” I had been taking progesterone since my pregnancies had gotten more complicated over the years, and I had often needed these supplements. So, I had to wait a week for my progesterone levels to drop from their artificial elevation. And then on Divine Mercy Sunday my bleeding began, bleeding which escalated to hemorrhaging and an ER visit two days later. We named this baby John Paul because of the day I had begun to bleed. I had been able to collect his dear little body from the tissues that had gushed out of me. A local Catholic cemetery provided a small plot as part of their ministry to miscarried babies. And we experienced for the first time the Rite of Burial for Unbaptized Children, filled with prayers of hope in the mercy of God for our child’s salvation. Our pastor drove out to meet us that first time, and he did again three years later when we lost our third baby to miscarriage. The Third Loss I had one more healthy pregnancy after our second loss. My son came into our family, bringing joy and interfering with sleep. When he was two, we felt it was time to be open to a new child again. I was a little nervous, after I had been so overwhelmed by the previous two years with four children. But my husband and I were both excited when the pregnancy test came back positive on October 7, 2017, Our Lady of the Rosary. When I went in for my normal early appointment and to have my progesterone levels checked, I scheduled my first ultrasound for All Saints' Day. For I knew there was a risk of early loss, and wanted the saints to intercede whatever the outcome. When the day finally came, and my symptoms were not as strong as I would have liked. I dutifully came in with a full bladder. But when the tech could not get a good view of the baby, she asked me to go to empty my bladder for a vaginal ultrasound. My heart sank as in the restroom I looked at the toilet paper. Blood. I came back to the connecting room, and tears in my eyes informed my husband of the situation. When the tech came back her scans confirmed our fears. The baby had stopped growing. There was no heartbeat. It felt like a bad dream, and I could not wake up. I got dressed. We were ushered to another room to talk to a doctor about having a third miscarriage. She talked about the battery of tests we would do. And then there was the pain—not the physical pain of cramping, but the pain of loss—the ache of the heart. I don’t even remember the drive home. Grieving as a Family I will never forget the wail of my five-year-old daughter when we told the children of the loss of that baby. I collapsed on the floor and cried with my living babies. My husband and I clung to each other for support. And when the baby came out of me, we named her Léonie, after the Servant of God, and had her buried as well. I will never forget the look of sorrow in compassion in our pastor’s eyes that chilly November afternoon, as he told us of his mother’s multiple miscarriages. He was there accompanying us. [elementor-template id="415212"] Salvation of the Unborn In the months following my third miscarriage, I often went to Saint Zélie for her intercession. I felt a little jealousy in my heart at her certainty of the salvation of her babies who had all been baptized before their untimely deaths. But mine had been lost before they could be baptized. I dug into the theology of what the Church teaches about unbaptized babies who die before receiving the Sacrament. For me, I needed more than the Catechism’s simple statement of “as regards children who have died without Baptism, the Church can only entrust them to the mercy of God, as she does in her funeral rites for them” (CCC 1261). I knew that we are all conceived with original sin. I also knew that for those baptized before the age of reason, it is not just the parents or godparents that provide the faith necessary for the Sacrament, but the faith of the whole Church. So, could this same faith be available for all children who die without Baptism? The Church seems to hope in that, through the funeral rites and in the entrusting of them to the mercy of God. God is Generous in His Mercy But the thing that really comforted me as a mother and a theologian is the idea Saint Thomas Aquinas had: even though a baby in the womb cannot be baptized, God can still give them sanctifying grace. (ST, III, Q. 68, art. 11) We know from Scripture that He did this for the Blessed Mother at her Immaculate Conception and Saint John the Baptist at the Visitation when he leapt in the womb. And further the Catechism which states that while we as humans have only one way to ensure salvation, God is not restricted in His generous gift of mercy: The Church does not know of any means other than Baptism that assures entry into eternal beatitude; this is why she takes care not to neglect the mission she has received from the Lord to see that all who can be baptized are "reborn of water and the Spirit." God has bound salvation to the sacrament of Baptism, but he himself is not bound by his sacraments. -Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1257 Learning these things theologically helped me have more consolation in the deaths of my unborn children. For, the most important thing I have learned from the example of Saint Zélie is that no matter how long my children live on earth, they have an eternal soul, and their entry into Heaven is more important than any earthly happiness. They Belong to God As my husband and I enter a season of new health for me, we are facing more potential pregnancies. More human lives as a part of our family. But also, the potential for more loss. However we now realize that those babies, however long we have them on earth, do not belong to us. They belong to God. If you want more on the Church's rich teachings on these engaging topics, our best-selling study, "Blessed Conversations: Rooted," dives into the Catechism's teachings and now offers a video companion series along with it featuring Theological Editor Susanna Spencer and Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Get it here.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Miscarriage #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! Hot tears sting my eyes as I post the ad on Craigslist for our long-unused crib. Very few stores will resell them so I resort to giving it away online and it feels like a metaphor: “One crib full of hoped-for babies, collecting dust in our basement: Free to a good home.” Even as I recycle expired car seats or donate a high chair, people seem giddy to congratulate me on being "all done." And I get it; it’s a long/fast sleep-deprived season. But what they can’t know is that this was not what I wanted—this was not my plan. Plans My husband and I have been working with engaged couples for several years now as they prepare for marriage. This ministry has introduced us to some wonderful people. Each year I have been struck by the familiar sense of fear and awe that come up in conversations around babies. This is to be expected, given the tremendous life changes assumed herein, combined with current culture and total resistance to veering off "the plan." This highly-regarded and tightly-gripped goal always leads us to really important conversations. In light of which, and with a healthy dose of hindsight, I am beginning to understand that through the years my own understanding of the gift of fertility has been evolving. The Roads of Being Open to Life Here are some nuggets I wish I could whisper in the ear of my newly-married self, starting with: Being open to life is being open to a myriad of journeys—even in one lifetime. [bctt tweet="Being open to life is being open to a myriad of journeys—even in one lifetime. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] A Given To be really honest, when we got married over a decade ago, I had a pretty strong sense that fertility was a given—not a right, of course—but a given. As such, it was something to be wielded with respect and a bit of fear. Knowing that we held the power to create life with our union was both exciting and intimidating. We did marriage prep, we learned NFP, and I worked as a doula. We were as prepared as anybody is for the possibility of life, and our ability to work with our charts to time the arrival of children as we wished. And it was a good thing, too, because a little over a year after we were married, we found that we were expecting. Our second child came a couple of years later, and we patted ourselves on the back for figuring out our charting like we had. With gratitude and good notes, we had seemingly figured out the cosmic gum-ball machine to work with God to build our family. I say this jokingly, but even in our joy, I see now that we lacked a certain dumbfounded-ness at the absolute privilege of co-creating new souls. Three years later, we were pregnant again with a baby due on Thanksgiving. We had always imagined four kiddos and felt like our hopes might be realized to give our children more siblings than we had had. Our girls were so excited. Professionals We went into our nine-week ultrasound like the seasoned pros we were. I was relieved to be going because I had been feeling so good, I was a little suspicious: “I don’t even feel pregnant,” I joked. When our appointment began, the midwife took an especially long time with the doppler and I began to worry. Finally, she turned the screen to us and confirmed that she had not found a heartbeat and that maybe we had miscalculated the date of conception. “Come back in a week and we’ll have another listen,” she said. I miscarried our baby before we returned. Truthfully, I had never entered the place in my mind that a positive pregnancy test did not guarantee a baby. I guess I had lived in a privileged place where I hadn’t encountered that reality, or at least no one had shared much about it. So when we got there, I was absolutely unprepared. “You’ll have another,” people said. “At least it was early.” “You’re young,” people tried to comfort us, but their well-intended words fell short. We had lost a child, and we felt it. A Lingering Loss Miscarriage is a quiet, lingering loss that is garnering a bit more attention than it has in the past. But very often it feels like hard and hallowed ground to walk, and, unfortunately, well-intended friends and family feel themselves ill-equipped to do so. Often, this sort of child loss is met with silence rather than support. If you find yourself in this place, I would highly recommend Laura and Franco Fanucci’s book: Grieving Together: A Couple’s Journey Through Miscarriage. It has been years and we have still not welcomed that hoped for "rainbow baby." It isn’t clear why. All of our fertility tests and blood draws have revealed nothing out of place. And maybe we don’t need answers. But having them feels like the ammunition I could use to fight off this frustrating reminder that I am limited and human; and that we are not the only ones responsible for shaping our family size. There is certainly some humility to be found here. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Seasons of Fertility So we have entered a new season, one I had never heard of and certainly one I never expected to find myself in (ever), let alone in my mid-thirties. We are in the season of grieving lost fertility. It has been a bit of a lonely road because I haven’t found many other travelers here—at least not many who share about it. Not that they aren’t walking this road, too, but it’s a rare and raw conversation. To hear “No” in response to fervent prayers is its own point of frustration. To pass on baby gear I would have chosen to employ is not for the faint of heart. No way around that. Of course I wonder what happened, what we might have done differently. We talk a lot about God’s will and can’t argue with the arrival of each month’s cycle. We have prayed about options like adoption and foster care and nothing has quite felt l realistic to us. We hear our children’s requests for siblings and I wonder what might be in store beyond this boisterous family we had imagined for ourselves. How might family be a concept bigger than we had previously imagined? I do not fully understand the reasons we find ourselves in this place, but here we are. And, I believe God to be operating on a far larger scale than my own. I am learning to trust that there is an invitation to something new alongside my detoured plans. At this point, I am on the search for it and I am hopeful because of God’s unfaltering ability to let nothing be wasted—even the fragments of my best-laid plans. [bctt tweet="I am learning to trust that there is an invitation to something new alongside my detoured plans. I am on the search for it, for God wastes nothing—even the fragments of my best-laid plans. #blessedchats //" via="no"] When they had had their fill, he said to his disciples, “Gather the fragments left over, so that nothing will be wasted.” –John 6:12   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Seasons of Fertility #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! My husband and I wanted to start a family almost immediately after we married. After a year of trying to conceive without achieving a pregnancy, we went to a fertility physician who specializes in NaPro Technology, a natural restorative approach to reproduction utilizing the Creighton Method. Though we remain hopeful that we will conceive, the grieving process has been difficult. Some weeks are filled with joyful anticipation, while others are consumed by sadness and defeat. What Has Helped Me Grieve Infertility One in eight couples experience infertility, yet it remains a topic often left undiscussed, and many couples walk through their journeys in silence. My own husband and I spent a substantial amount of time grieving in silence. Through the Lord’s invitation to be vulnerable, though, we have learned of some ways to ease the heartbreak of infertility. Having Conversations Sharing any personal hardship with others—especially infertility—is difficult. It’s natural to feel afraid that our friends or loved ones won’t react in the way we hope, and it’s easy to give into feeling shame in the face of vulnerability. But the Lord gives us community so that we don’t have to shoulder our burdens alone. If you have struggled to share your experience with infertility with others, start by sharing your story with one or two friends or family members. The people who love you will listen to you. They will give you a shoulder to cry on. They will ask you questions. They will pray for you. They will support you. And though the grief might not dissipate completely, you will start to feel free, heard, and loved. Feel and Pray It’s okay to feel sad upon reading another negative pregnancy test. It’s okay to cry on the difficult days. It’s okay to mourn for the child you don’t have. The Lord allows these emotions, and it’s healthy to feel them. However, this isn’t a place where God wants us to dwell. He doesn’t want hopelessness to become the disposition of our hearts. Instead, He wants to use our suffering to help us grow in virtue. When feelings of sadness or even bitterness, resentment, jealousy, or anger creep in, acknowledge them and then lean into the Holy Spirit. Pray for the antithetical fruit of the negative spirit. Ask the Lord to fill you with grace, patience, and love to replace bitterness and resentment. Invite the Holy Spirit to render your heart humble in the face of jealousy. Pray for joy to replace anger. Make space for these virtues to transform and heal your heart. [bctt tweet="God doesn’t want hopelessness to become the disposition of our hearts. Instead, He wants to use our suffering to help us grow in virtue. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] [elementor-template id="415212"] Lean into Your Spouse Like many difficulties faced by a husband and a wife, infertility has the potential to bear fruit in a marriage. Though each spouse often grieves differently, it is important to lean on one another. Consider doing one of the following with your husband to unite your grief and heal together: Pray a novena to Saint Gianna Beretta Molla, the patron Saint of infertility and pregnancy. Talk about the phases of your cycle. Share with your husband different markers you are charting throughout your cycle. Go to doctor appointments together. Many fertility physicians encourage this. Go on dates and cherish each other’s company. Remember that you and your husband are already a family. Meditate on Scripture Scripture is layered with reminders that the Lord’s timing and plan surpass anything that we envision for our lives. Try memorizing one of the following verses to recite as a reminder that the Lord is walking with you on this journey. // “Is anything too marvelous for the Lord to do?” -Genesis 18:14 // “Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.” -Romans 12:12 // “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” -Matthew 28:20 // “Lord, I call to you; hasten to me; listen to my plea when I call. Let my prayer be incense before you; my uplifted hands an evening offering.” -Psalm 141:1-215 // “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11 One Day at a Time Infertility is a heavy cross to carry, but the grief doesn’t have to be shouldered alone. Have the difficult conversations, lean into your loved ones, pray without ceasing, and trust in the Lord. He can transform your mourning and your heart, one day at a time. Does anyone else carry this cross? We'd love to pray for you. If you want more on the Church's rich teachings on these engaging topics, our best-selling study, "Blessed Conversations: Rooted," dives into the Catechism's teachings and now offers a video companion series along with it featuring Theological Editor Susanna Spencer and Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Get it here.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Infertility #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]   Mercedes Shirts works as a sixth grade teacher in Idaho. When not indulging in a good read and black coffee, she enjoys cooking, hiking with her husband and working in her garden. You can find more about here.

San Martin De Porres, also known as "the Saint of the Broom", is no stranger to rejection, abandonment, racism, and prejudice. He was born on December 9th, 1579 in Lima, Peru. Martin de Porres Upbringing His father was a Spanish nobleman and his mother was a freed slave from Panama. During that time period, there was not wide acceptance of diversity or mixed marriages. His father didn’t accept him as his son until he was about eight years old. In his baptismal record, Martin is described as “son of an unknown father.” His father did pay for his son to attend school for a year but eventually moved away and left Martin living in poverty with his mother and sister. When he was 12 years old, his mother apprenticed him to a barber-surgeon. Martin learned how to cut hair and also how to draw blood. During this time, he became a member of the Third Order of the Dominicans. He did manual work to earn his room and board. Rejected in Religious Life A law preventing people of mixed race from joining religious orders kept him from entering the Dominican Order as a religious brother until 1603. Before he made his vows, he worked in the infirmary caring for the sick. He earned his nickname, “Saint of the broom” for completing all of his menial tasks with hard work and dedication. He ministered to African slaves brought to Lima and founded an orphanage and hospital for the poor. He was aided by Saint Rose of Lima, who respected his penances and labors. He also planted fruit orchards for the poor, who were allowed to take one day’s supply. Deep Devotion to Our Lord Depictions of the Saint often include cats, dogs, and even rats too. One account of St. Martin of Porres says the monastery was tired of their rodent problems and decided to set traps. The Saint was so distressed that he spoke to the mice and cut a deal with them that if they would leave the monastery, he would feed them at the back door of the kitchen. From that day forward, no mouse was seen in the monastery. He referred to himself as a “poor slave” and happily embraced his circumstances, using it as a way to serve the poor and care for the sick. His compassion was limitless as he served the poor, destitute, outcast, marginalized, and animals too! Saint Martin lived in self-imposed austerity, never ate meat, fasted continuously, and spent much time in prayer and meditation with a great devotion to the Holy Eucharist. He excused the faults of others. He forgave the bitterest injuries, convinced that he deserved much severer punishments on account of his own sins. He tried with all his might to redeem the guilty; lovingly he comforted the sick; he provided food, clothing and medicine for the poor; he helped, as best he could, farm laborers and Negroes, as well as mulattoes, who were looked upon at that time as akin to slaves: thus he deserved to be called by the name the people gave him: ‘Martin of Charity.' (source) The First Black Saint of the Americas San Martin of Porres became the first Black Saint of the Americas. He was beatified on October 29th, 1837 and canonized on May 6, 1962 by Pope Saint John XXIII. San Martin of Porres is buried at the Basilica and convent of Santo Domingo, Peru alongside his dear friend Saint Rose of Lima. Here in the U.S. there is a National shrine dedicated in his honor. If Martin were with us now, undoubtedly he would avail himself to victims of Covid-19. Like many healthcare workers today, he would work tirelessly to relieve the distress of their symptoms. He would provide particular comfort to the elderly who are dying. Through his care they would face death knowing the strength of the glorified Christ. (source) Prayers to Saint Martin of Porres Lord Jesus Christ, you called Saint Martin de Porres as a prophetic witness to be a source of racial and physical healing. During this time of racial tension and global pandemic,may his prayers help to bring about the healing you and your children so earnestly desire.We ask this in your name. Amen. (source) Novena to Saint Martin of Porres Litany of Saint Martin of Porres Live Like Martin Find a dominican ministry near you to see how you can get involved. Take some time to look at racism and other issues regarding the dignity of the human person. Watch and Listen to the We are the Church series from Blessed is She to become more informed on the issues surrounding the sin of racism and how just a simple conversation with friends and family members can be a source of enlightenment and healing. Go to your local parish gift shop or shop online for a statue of Saint Martin of Porres and invite this inspiring Saint as well as other Saints of color into your home. Welcome them into your domestic Church. God has blessed us with the beauty of the Universal Church but it is up to us to incorporate it into our daily lives. Saint Martin de Porres, pray for us!   [bctt tweet="Saint Martin de Porres // Saint of the Broom #BISblog //" via="no"]

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. // Matthew 5:12 Love this beautiful print from Leah of Fearfully Made. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! I was talking with my husband last night about my faith journey, since it started in autumn. Four years ago, at this time, I was at my lowest spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I was so badly beaten down by my addiction that I had lost all hope for a better life. Failing to Heal Myself I’d tried everything (or so I thought) to get and stay clean. The last house on the street—the one thing I hadn’t tried—was prayer. In rehab, I was so desperate to not feel sick that, one day, I knelt at the end of my bed, bowed my head, and asked God to take away the pain. A total foxhole prayer. Imagine my surprise when I started to feel better that night. I kept praying, my brain began to heal, and I started to believe in something. An avowed atheist, I started to believe in a power greater than myself. [bctt tweet="I kept praying, my brain began to heal, and I started to believe in something. An avowed atheist, I started to believe in a power greater than myself. #blessedchats" via="no"] Jesus...but Religion? For two years after leaving rehab, I continued go pray. But I couldn’t decide if I wanted to get back into religion. I started attending evangelical churches with my husband. I really wanted to feel a pull toward Protestantism. I attended different services but they they all somehow felt empty, devoid of the spirituality and fullness of the Catholic Mass of my youth. The pull I felt was toward Catholicism, the one Faith I didn’t want to return to. In my mind, Catholicism was linked with childhood boredom and difficult high school years in Catholic school. Uh uh. No way. I resisted, but God kept calling. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Coming Home Two years ago, I was fortunate to find the Saint Joseph Retreat House (and the Oblates of the Virgin Mary) where I began to turn toward God and listen to His calling for me. A year ago, I made the decision to return fully to the Faith I was confirmed in. I’ve been exploring modesty, veiling, and the Traditional Latin Mass (unthinkable!). I can feel in my bones that this is where I belong. When I think back to the broken, confused, sick person I was four years ago, I now feel compassion instead of disgust. I truly believe that if not for the hell my addiction brought me through, and the spiritual emptiness that accompanied it, I would never have turned toward God, Who was there waiting all along.   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction // Substance Abuse #BISblog #blessedchats" via="no"]   Allison is a recent returnee to the Catholic Faith. A psychology major in college, she works with people struggling with substance abuse. Allison lives in Massachusetts with her husband and two dogs.

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! I was eleven or twelve years old the first time I saw pornography. Honestly, it’s been a part of my story for so long, it’s hard to remember exactly when it started. But I remember where it started, how it felt. I remember the deep green of the carpet and the way my pulse quickened and my stomach flipped the first time I found it. I wasn’t looking for it and no one showed it to me. I was alone. And that’s how the story continued for almost twenty years. Secret Shame I thought about it in class and before I fell asleep at night. Anytime I saw something remotely racey on television or read a slightly suggestive scene in a book, a switch in my brain flipped. And it wouldn’t turn off again until I found a way to be alone, to look at pornography, to masturbate. Porn was a secret, shameful part of my life. It didn’t touch the other parts. I did theater and speech and debate, ran for student council, and spent my weekends staying up watching the Spice Girls’ Movie from my best friend’s trundle bed. I went to Mass every Sunday and was an eager student with an easy laugh. Those other dark and hidden things were separate from the girl on stage or at a sleepover. And so I continued on that way, alone and addicted, until I fell in love with Jesus. The Sacraments On a Confirmation retreat in high school, as I knelt before the Blessed Sacrament (maybe for the first time?), a desperate desire welled up in me and a fearful question gripped my heart: Could that Love be for me, too? I began to go to Confession—often. It’s surprising to look back now and remember my insecure, teenage self, cheeks aflame with shame, kneeling and naming the sins of pornography and masturbation. This was the first grace: to use their proper names in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Rather than confess general impurity or lust, I confessed them by name, said the words aloud, every time. And so the pattern continued for many years: I sinned, I confessed. I sinned again, I confessed again. And again, and again. Another grace: God gave me the strength to persevere. The sober stretches would get longer sometimes, but I could always feel a lingering darkness, an oppressive sense of shame. Even as my love for the Lord deepened and He called me into ministry, I still wrestled with unchastity. I wondered if I would ever be completely free, or would these sins I’d struggled with since childhood always plague me? WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Spiritual Strengthening I listened to chastity talks and podcasts with testimonies and tips, read Scripture and the Catechism, cried out to God to deliver me from temptation, then asked for His forgiveness in prayer. The shame was suffocating. In retrospect, I know that the Lord’s mercy and grace were at work all along; but as I frequented Confession, always with the same sins on my lips, I couldn’t see it or feel it. One uneventful night, I began to the pray the Rosary. Never having been a Rosary devotee, I listened to an audio recording led by a faithful priest on the Mary app. And I kept praying with that priest on the app, night after night, year after year. I wasn’t asking for Mary’s help undoing this knot, but surely my suffering did not escape Our Lady’s attention or intercession. I wasn’t alone anymore. He Broke the Chains I was in my thirties when my mom and I attended a Marian Conference for her birthday. On the final night of the conference, after a solemn Eucharistic procession, priests stood at the foot of the stage for prayer. I recognized a priest from my childhood parish and lined up with no specific intention, only whatever grace God wanted to give. I watched as he prayed intensely, compassionately for each person before me. He laid his hands on a woman’s head, a man’s shoulders; he cupped a child’s face. But as this holy priest approached me, he lifted his hand and reached out to cover my eyes. Everything in me tensed. I felt exposed and embarrassed. Everyone will know, I thought. His prayer lasted only a few moments, and nothing really happened. No goosebumps or prophetic words. I just went back to the hotel with my mom and went to sleep. Only months later did I realize that I hadn’t needed to confess pornography or masturbation. I checked in with my body, my soul, my imagination. There was no lingering darkness. No stinging shame. I wasn’t bracing for another temptation. Everything felt right. Settled. Steady. I felt... peace. Through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the prayers of God’s holy priest, the Lord cast out a spirit of pornography and masturbation, a spirit of lust. He right-ordered my sexuality. He set me free. You Can Be Free from This The Lord wants you to be free, too. So does His Blessed Mother. So do I! After battling alone and unsuccessfully for so long, I want to help you find the freedom you were made for. If you’re struggling to defeat these or other sexual sins, here’s what I know to be true. Confession works. Don’t be discouraged if you have to go every single week, or if you fall again right after making a good, sincere Confession. Just get back up and go again. A regular Confessor could also be a great source of support and encouragement. Remember, His mercy is endless. His mercy is for you. Satan is real. The same way we “renounce Satan and all his works and all his empty promises” when we renew our Baptismal vows, you can renounce the spirit of the sexual sin you’re struggling against. You can even ask a priest to lead you in a simple prayer of renouncement, download this spiritual warfare app, or read more here (Deliverance Prayers for the Laity). Mary wants to help. She is not only Jesus’ Mother, she is Our Mother. Her heart is pure, her intercession is powerful, and she will always lead us closer to her Son. Pray the Rosary. Everyday. It will change your life. You can’t do it alone. Praise God for the courage to name your sins in Confession and ask Mother Mary to pray for you. But I also want you to tell another person. It could be a friend, counsellor, or mentor. Or you can DM me (@thebethdavis on Instagram). I want you to know that you’re not alone, that none of us are “the sum of our weaknesses and failures; we are the sum of the Father's love for us and our real capacity to become the image of his Son,” as Pope Saint John Paul II so beautifully said. There is Grace for You God is no respecter of persons (Romans 2:11). What He did for me, He will do for you, too. In fact, I believe that because you’re reading this blog right now, the Lord is pouring out some of that same grace from my miracle over you. Take courage! You, too, can be completely healed and totally free. And until then, I’m praying for you.   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction // Pornography #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! My first experience of an eating disorder occurred when I was seven years old. After coming home from school one day, my parents gathered my siblings and I into our family room for a very hard conversation. They had decided to send our sister, a young teenager at the time, across the country to a treatment center for those struggling with eating disorders, a place they felt would help her with her anorexia. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized that my sister had any kind of disorder. Something my parents had been observing for some time. As a seven year old, I didn’t fully understand what this meant. But over the next twenty years, I would learn. I don’t think I had seen many of my siblings cry before this family room discussion. We all experienced great vulnerability as we watched her spiral in and out of more treatment centers than I can count. We even strategically planned out family interventions. Needless to say, for most of my lifetime, this eating disorder prevented my sister and I from having a strong and healthy relationship. The Suffering That Ruled My Life At times, I let my suffering rule my life. For too long I had a cold and bitter heart towards her, allowing resentment to build. Everyone in my family—even my sister herself—prayed that she would hit rock bottom. We all knew that would be what it took to help her get better. Then, a couple of years ago, it finally happened. My sister’s body was so weak and malnourished that she ended up in the hospital. For a period of time she was so out of it that she didn’t even recognize or react to my parents when they went to visit her. Despite the severity of her state, I found myself livid with her, with zero desire to speak to her or talk to her again. [elementor-template id="415212"] Healing In time, I could feel my anger eating at me, so I sought out a Catholic therapist. Through a couple of sessions with him, and eventually therapy with my sister, a new seed was planted in our relationship. It took baby steps, and a lot of vulnerability. But slowly, ever so slowly, I saw new life springing up both in my sister and in a friendship with her. Her rock bottom experience was one that she describes as feeling like she had died. She said that she could see her life flash before her eyes, and the reality of the possibility of falling out of God’s sanctifying grace became very real. In all of this, what struck her is that God did not abandon her. And in His mercy, He gave her a second chance at life. Since this experience, she has found renewed healing and strength through frequenting the Sacraments, drawing close to the Saints, having a more consistent life of prayer, and transparency in her relationships. Sacramental Grace She finds great comfort through the priest, in persona Christi. Especially in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. This is a powerful Sacrament for her, because while it is humbling, it forces her to really come face to face with her sins and name them. Here she finds great comfort in God’s forgiveness and His second chances. Encouragement from the Saints My sister said that what has helped her most in times of struggle, are recalling the many times that God’s abundant forgiveness is expressed through the lives of the Saints. She has grown close to two in particular. She drew close to Saint Faustina through reading about God’s message of mercy in her diary, The Diary of Saint Faustina, as well as Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque, who promoted devotion to the Sacred Heart. A quotation by Saint Faustina which gives her inspiration is: Jesus, source of my life, sanctify me. O my strength, fortify me. My commander, fight for me. Prayer My sister shared with me how her experience really taught her of God’s presence and faithfulness. It showed her that if anyone ever abandons their prayer life, it is never too late to come back, because when we ask, God is faithful. Each and every day, she continues to ask for His grace. Transparency One of the biggest healing components that has brought my sister and I closer together is transparency. Secrecy is imprisoning. With addictions and eating disorders, there comes a lot of shame and guilt, but there is power in openness, honesty, and asking for help. The Whole Person While this life of faith has proved essential to my sister’s recovery, I cannot leave out the help she continues to receive through an experienced therapist and dietician. During early recovery and high dress, her support team is especially important. Her recovery and healing requires an integrated approach to taking care of her body (physically), mind (mentally), and soul (spiritually). An approach which is healthy for all of us. Is there something in your life that you feel called to seek God’s healing from? He is waiting for you, and there is grace in the Sacraments. If you want more on the Church's rich teachings on these engaging topics, our best-selling study, "Blessed Conversations: Rooted," dives into the Catechism's teachings and now offers a video companion series along with it featuring Theological Editor Susanna Spencer and Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Get it here.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction // Eating Disorder #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]   This post was contributed anonymously.

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! I was the new girl in town. I’d just finished my Army contract, moved across the country with my family, and traded intense training, 18-hour work days, and giving commands to stay-at-home-motherhood: potty training, 24-hour “work” days, and toddlers who resisted all commands. A week into this new life, I found myself surrounded by a sea of boxes—my identity about as lost as the items I was looking for. So I fled in desperation to the only place I could think of: story time at the library. As I squeezed into a spot at the back of the carpet, awkwardly juggling the baby carrier and two toddlers, a fellow mom flashed me a smile; my insides flooded with relief. I wasn’t alone! After story time we struck up a conversation, which led to an invitation: did I want to meet at the playground next week and join a group of other new-ish moms looking for community? I was elated. Comparison is a Thief Soon though, I noticed differences: their sunglasses all sported designer logos, their homes, though smaller, were nicer and newer, and they continually consulted each other on the best (read: most admirable) brands of new cars, baby gear, and electronics. I’d always appreciated authentic beauty and had fairly good taste. And after nine arduous years in uniform, I thought I had grown to appreciate more important things: my faith, the gift of my family, and the opportunity to finally stay home with my kids—even if it meant cutting our salary in half. Now, though, surrounded by my new friends, my eyes were opened wide to the affluence around me; suddenly I felt naïve and shabby. The Need to Belong Despite my deep and steady faith, the need to belong steamrolled my acceptance of God’s love as I sought the superficial approval of others (whose own superficial seeking had them starving for more). I tried to convert my friends to me rather than converting my heart to God, and I quickly lost my identity in the process. Thus began a downward spiral of shopping compulsion—making a special detour for a sale at a store or scouring the internet for hours on end to find the “right” material thing in order to belong. Even as my friend group grew apart and moved, even as I found intentional, faith-filled community and began to heal in identity and relationship with God, the temptation held on. It had firmly attached to my deepest ache for belonging and the enemy ensured that it evolved as I grew more aware and faithful. I’d stop short on social media for a cleverly-curated ad, suddenly convinced I needed this thing (non-existent in my world a mere moment before). I’d admire someone’s outfit, then find myself searching online to find it. I’d get sucked into a sale, thinking if I didn’t find the perfect bargain on page one, surely it would be buried in the annals of the internet on page twenty. Yet I began to realize that the clicking never ended. My hunger was never satisfied. The elation of a new package on my doorstep lasted only a moment before the novelty wore off. The status and acceptance I attached to new items was superficial, short-lived, and only lead to more longing and exhaustion. However picture-worthy my home, however overflowing my closet, my heart was never full. The ache only intensified. [bctt tweet="However picture-worthy my home, however overflowing my closet, my heart was never full. The ache only intensified. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] Confiding + Confessing I began to take my struggle to regular confession, and with the added wisdom of my spiritual director, the Lord began to speak deeply into my heart about the kind of detachment which leads to real freedom. Detachment might feel like a scary word, but in fact it releases us from the enslavement of the world to bring about real freedom and fulfillment that only make sense in the context of the goodness of God. We can cling to all sorts of worldly attachments—acceptance, status, material things, and can even put seemingly good desires like relationship and vocation ahead of God. Yet sooner or later the emptiness or grief catches up, and we find ourselves faced with the central question of our heart: Is God enough? In seeking the healing that allows God to truly be enough, I’ve experienced ever growing freedom from the trap of worldly compulsions and a deepening, immovable sense of my identity as God’s beloved. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY If You Struggle with a Shopping/Acquiring Compulsion So, what to do if you struggle with this too? Recognize It's a Symptom of Something Deeper Struggling with this doesn’t make you a bad person; it simply means you’re human—in need of healing just like everyone else! We often try to treat the visible symptoms of our wounds, but that can just lead to frustration or despair. What pain, emptiness, or fear is buried beneath your actions? Ask God to reveal it in a way you can handle, so you can begin to address the underlying cause with the aid of the sacraments and professional help. Just Say No Social media ads are insidiously created to target your preferences, lure you in, and keep you clicking. When I realized these were a “gateway” for my online shopping, my spiritual director instructed me to quickly and firmly say “NO!” (even out loud if needed!), then run (click) away as fast as possible. We can justify “just looking for a second,” and entertain or dialogue with temptation (like Eve dialoguing with Satan in the Garden of Eden) but that exponentially increases the chance that we’ll give in. Saying “NO!” slams the door on the Satan’s attempt and helps our conscious will overcome subconscious conditioning. Practice Fasting and Gratitude One year, I gave up online shopping for Lent—but I knew I was likely to just run to another compulsion unless I replaced the temptation with something fruitful. Many great Saints swear by gratitude as a powerful weapon against temptation. When I was tempted to quit, I whispered a prayer for God’s help and started listing things all the things I had that I took for granted. This sincere gratitude, especially in a world filled with so much need, helped re-condition my mind and bring me to a place of peace. Bring It to God + Seek Healthy Community When I was at my lowest in longing for belonging, I still went to church and prayed with my family, but I didn’t have much of a personal prayer routine and definitely didn’t bring my struggle straight to God. When I finally began to invite Him in to my personal struggles, He was there waiting with healing love and grace—especially in the Sacraments, Confession, and Adoration. I also was desperate enough at my lowest point accept any kind of community, even if it damaged my heart and pulled me away God. I wanted instantaneous rescue from my loneliness rather than investing the time and effort needed for healthy, God-centered, and mutually uplifting relationships. Through the grace of God, I eventually began working for a new ministry called Blessed is She, and the examples of other women earnestly seeking the Lord and desiring to grow in holiness inspired me to want the same. Community might not happen for you overnight, but if you put in the effort God will honor your desire and bring it about in His perfect time! You can also connect with local Blessed is She community through your regional Facebook group, or search for or start a local group here! Ask for Help Finally, if the problem persists or if you feel that it might reach into the realms of addiction, don’t despair. There is so much help available for you! Counseling ( check out catholiccounselors.com) is an incredible tool to help identify underlying wounds, begin the healing process, and learn healthier behaviors. Spiritual direction is also an incredible companion to address the spiritual side of things, and develop prayer practices and virtues to more intentionally combat specific temptations. As Pope Emeritus Benedict so aptly stated: The world promises you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness. Here’s to all the greatness, healing, and freedom that Lord has in store for you!   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction // Shopping Compulsion #BISblog #blessedchats" via="no"]