By and large, the Easter Sundays I have celebrated these past thirty-some years have spanned the spectrum and landed primarily on the joyful side. As a child, Easter joy made sense to me for the most part because of things like baby bunnies, Peeps, egg hunts, Easter dresses, fancy shoes, and Alleluias. What’s not to celebrate?! As a young adult, I felt my faith deepening as I learned the name for the three Holy Days (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, and Easter Vigil/Easter Sunday) in which the Church celebrates her highest feast—the Triduum. As a cradle Catholic, I began to understand that some folks had been preparing for entrance into the Church all year through RCIA. Adults, like my college roommate, would join us at Easter Vigil. Sometimes that even meant witnessing full immersion baptism in the Baptismal font! Imagine my joy when individuals from our marriage prep class and our small faith-sharing group decided to join the Church. We were able to witness not only their faith-journey and discernment process, but we welcomed them fully to the table of the Eucharist. The season went from a very surface-level experience of happiness to one moored in deep emotion and spiritual significance. The Lenten days meant the final days of preparation before one big celebration! A Different Kind of Triduum The rug got pulled out from under me a couple of years ago, when my biggest heartache to date synchronized perfectly with Holy Week. We had learned earlier that winter that we were expecting our third child. This created space for even more joy in our Easter preparation. What better way to celebrate new life?! I had been feeling good—suspiciously good—so I was looking forward to our first ultrasound to confirm that all was well. Our doctor quietly shared that she was struggling to find a heartbeat. She wondered if somehow we’d miscalculated our due date. We were told to come back next week for a follow-up. Our appointment was scheduled for 3 p.m. on Good Friday. We hoped for good news, but our fears were confirmed. With Mary at the Cross In some ways it was fitting to attend the Good Friday service that evening. To feel in my whole being the heartbreak of grieving for an innocent one lost and the unfairness of it all. My tears didn’t feel out of place before the barren altar that night. In a new way, I clung to Mary at the foot of the Cross for comfort. Celebrating Easter Sunday When You're Still Mourning Good Friday What was harder came next. What was harder was the immediacy of hope: coming back to church the next night, candles burning brightly, singing that life had conquered death. If I’m honest, in my very being, I felt like a sham. I felt like a living contradiction to the celebration. To say the least, Easter joy didn’t come for me that spring. How had I never noticed the whip-lash extremes of grief-turned-joy that is the Church’s celebration of the Paschal Mystery? More than that, how had I been oblivious to the faction of the Church for whom the melancholy of Good Friday felt an appropriate metaphor for their own circumstances? I could easily participate in the heartache of Good Friday. But it felt like a lot to ask of me to rally for dry eyes—never mind the excitement of Jesus conquering the grave—despite its significance in my life. I realize now that I was not alone in this place. Our suffering can be borne because it is shared by the entire Mystical Body. [bctt tweet="Our suffering can be borne because it is shared by the entire Mystical Body. #BISblog //" via="no"] We are Not Alone A dear friend reminded me during this time that, “Good Friday doesn’t always come on Good Friday and Easter doesn’t always happen on Easter Sunday.” And she’s right. What I’m slowly learning about my own experiences of death in all its forms—of a hope, of a loved one, a dream, a relationship, perfect health, a job, or even the normalcy of routine—is that our losses deserve to be mourned and to be mourned fully. Jesus Himself tasted grief, betrayal, even death for a short time so that we might not venture anywhere God has not already been. We have the promise of life fulfilled to look forward to. “We are an Easter people, and Alleluia is our song,” after all. But our grieving hearts aren’t expected to get there on any particular timeline. This is a helpful reminder as the trumpets blast, lilies intoxicate our senses, and our sanctuaries are transformed from barren deserts to lush oases and our tender hearts can’t quite keep up. Our "good Fridays" can and should be embraced. This also implies that our own experiences of resurrection are to come with feasting and celebration, too. We have the hope of resurrection to look forward to in God’s own time. It may not happen in the way we would expect or even prefer. But the Lord does not leave us idly stranded in our despair (Jer 29:11). [bctt tweet="We have the hope of resurrection to look forward to in God’s own time. It may not happen in the way we would expect or even prefer. But the Lord does not leave us idly stranded in our despair #BISblog //" via="no"] We're Praying for All Your Good Fridays and Easter Sundays So, as I enter into Holy Week this year, I do it with the encouragement to enter fully. To bring my brokenness and the deaths I’ve had to die into the space where we re-enter the experience of Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf. And, in a new way, I do it mindful of those for whom Good Friday’s rugged airiness feels an appropriate place to hunker down for a while. If this is you, know that I enter Holy Week with you in mind as well. I pray that you, too, will catch a breath-taking glimpse at the ways you are being resurrected through Christ’s passionate love for you. It may not be the way I would have chosen when you lead me through a world that's not my home. But You never said it would be easy you only said I'd never go alone. -Ginny Owens, If You Want Me To   [bctt tweet="When Easter Sunday Feels Like Good Friday #BISblog //" via="no"]

Have you ever thought about your testimony? Have you sat down to reflect and remember what rivers and valleys—even mountains—you’ve crossed with God? If you’re clear on your “story”, have you ever shared it with anyone? I believe our stories are invaluable tools. They help build each other up and strengthen not only our faith, but the hearts of those around us. Is our Faith not built on the testimony of the Apostles? If not for their boldness in telling others what they saw and knew about Jesus, His Good News would not have spread across the world. God used these earlier followers and Saints and their stories about His Son as a tool to save the lost. He continues to call each of us to do the same. We, too, walk with Jesus and have stories to tell. We, however, walk by faith, not by sight. And even our Lord Himself said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and believe (John 20:29).” Remember Your Journey As a new convert to the Catholic Church, I have been asked a lot of questions which has caused me to reflect on my own story. Sure, the reading I’ve done about Church history and Tradition helps answer these questions. But what people are really looking for, and what I really want to share, is my journey through this process. We can each look back and see our journey and where the Lord has guided us to a richer and deeper faith. Yes, there have been valleys and maybe even some mountain tops. Each is transforming you into who God has created you to be. His image bearer, His light in the darkness, His city upon a hill that cannot be hidden. I believe He calls us to reflect and remember and pass along these stories to our families and friends. What are Your Stones? One of my favorite examples of God calling His people to remember and recall their journey with Him comes from Sacred Scripture. In the book of Joshua, chapter 4 speaks of a time when Joshua led the Israelites across the Jordan River towards the Promised Land. After the entire nation crossed, God called his people to go out into the middle of the river. They stood on dry ground (where the priests and the ark of the covenant were) and grabbed stones. They were to take them back to their lodgings. Theses stones would be a sign for them to remember where God has brought them, where He saved them, and where He is taking them. When your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, ‘what are these stones?’ Then you shall inform your children saying, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’…that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever.   Using Lectio Divina, read these passages. What are your stones? What testimony can you share and stand on that others need to hear so that “all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty"? How to Tell Your Story Friend, I encourage you to reflect, pray, listen, and remember. Don’t let fear or timidity or even unawareness hide what you have been called to shine forth. In our family, we collect stones (rocks—let's be honest) and keep them in a clear container and write a word or phrase on them to help us remember what God has done for us. We keep this on our kitchen table to always be a visual reminder that God is in our midst and moving us across our own Jordan rivers to the Promised Land. Try it! I’m praying you will be blessed and praying for the Holy Spirit to guide your heart and mind into the truth of your story. Here's how to do it. 1. Reflect This will look different for everyone. It might take you five minutes or you may want to spend an hour or longer prayerfully thinking. The Lord could even be nudging your heart to remember His faithfulness in a certain area already. 2. Write in Down Write your reflection down in a journal, on some paper, or on your own “stone.” Put this somewhere to serve as a visual reminder that “the hand of the Lord is mighty,” as God instructed the His people long ago. 3. Share with Those Closest to You Have a friend friend over coffee, tell your spouse, share with your kids, and anyone and everyone! Let’s build each other up as we are called to as part of His Church. What's Your Story? Reflecting on our stories and remembering and realizing where God has brought us and where He is taking us will enable us to be ready in all seasons to give a reason for the joy and hope that is in us (see 1 Peter 3:15). Feel free to share some of your "stones" and stories in the comments below! [bctt tweet="Remembering Your Journey: A Practical Way to Strengthen Your Faith and Encourage Others #BISblog //" via="no"] Written by Amy Hobson.

There are a lot of things I do throughout the day that I would not be doing if I was not Catholic. This isn’t to say that doing them makes me “more” Catholic in any way. Rather, these little devotions and nuances are small ways in which I live out my Faith, remembering specific teachings, praying for specific people, and receiving God’s grace to help me throughout my day. Ways to "Catholicize" Your Day Whether you’re a catechumen, a convert, a revert, or a practicing Catholic, we’re all striving to live out the Faith. Here are a few, small ways to do just that. Make a Spiritual Communion Whether you’re a daily Mass attendee, or you have daily obligations that conflict with the Mass schedule, there’s an amazing practice within the Church of making a spiritual communion at least once a day. Not only are an abundance of graces outpoured, Aquinas declared that it is the equivalent of “lovingly embracing [Jesus] as if we had actually received Him” (source). The devotion gives a greater awareness of God’s overall presence in our lives and increases our faith in the Eucharist. You can read more about it here. Make the Sign of the Cross When You Drive by a Catholic Parish This has nothing to do with the building and everything to do with Jesus. If it’s a Catholic church, then there is a tabernacle. And if there is a tabernacle, it is housing the Eucharist (on every day except Holy Saturday). My mom taught me this practice as a little girl. I still remember being out and about with her running errands, the van full of kids, all of us taking a moment to cross ourselves and say, “Hello dear Jesus! We love you!” every time we drove by the Eucharist. It certainly fostered a deeper understanding of the Real Presence, and it’s a practice I still do everyday. Say a Hail Mary When You Hear a Siren Chances are you’ve always said a prayer when witnessing a rescue team rush to the scene of an emergency, so why switch to a Hail Mary? Two reasons: the last stanza of the prayer requests her intercession “now and at the hour of our death” and often if there’s an emergency, someone’s life is on the line. Also, Jesus never denies a request from his mother (John 2:1-12). He loves you, too, but He has an incredible soft spot for His momma. Find a Penny, Pick it Up Another practice I learned from my mom is picking up spare change off the ground. Not for luck, not for pocket money, but because they say, “In God We Trust.” Obviously, this is not an official devotion of the Church, but it is one of the ways my mother honors the second commandment. It’s another practice I’ve carried into adulthood, but I’ve added an intention to my task. I do it as an act of reparation for all the times I’ve heard God’s name is taken in vain. Add a Personal Touch to the End of Grace before Meals At the end of the traditional grace before meals, my dad’s family always said, “Mary, Queen of Peace, pray for us.” He and his brothers carried the tradition into their own families, as did their own children. In our family, we’ve added St. Joseph and St. Catherine of Siena to our family catalogue as well. On special feasts and holidays, we’ll throw in any additional saints that are relevant, making our own little litany of saints. Pray When Passing a Cemetery Compared to other Christian denominations, a unique aspect of the Catholic Faith is our belief in purgatory, a place of purification for souls who died in a state of grace but are not yet pure enough for Heaven. The suffering of these souls is partially alleviated by prayers. Since graveyards are a very concrete reminder of our dearly departed, it is customary to pray, “May the souls of the faithfully departed rest in peace. Amen” when driving past one. You could also memorize the prayer of St. Gertrude, which bears promises of releasing souls from purgatory each time it is said, or you could simply make the Sign of the Cross. At Least Once a Day, Pray a Hail Mary First, Jesus made a lot of effort in the midst of His death to give her to us as our own mother. This is because her help is invaluable. Second, every single canonized Saint had a devotion to Our Lady. If you look up Saint quotes about Mary, every single one of them attributes their growth in holiness to her assistance. So, if you want to grow in holiness and grow in intimacy with Christ, develop a relationship with Mary. There are so many ways to do this: consecration, the Rosary, a daily decade, or one heartfelt prayer to her everyday. Just do it. She won’t let you down. Pray to St. Joseph Before Beginning Work St. Joseph is the patron Saint of workers. Invoking his intercession is meant to help you through daily difficulties. It also helps you bring dignity and virtue to your place of work. You could use the traditional prayer, or create a spontaneous one of your own. You could also call upon the patron Saint of your particular field of work at this time as well. Bless Yourself with Holy Water Holy water is a sacramental to remind you of your baptism, your baptismal promises, and also serves as a blessing that can help protect you from evil. If you’d like, you can purchase a holy water font for your home, or simple keep the sacramental in the little plastic bottle (my personal preference so that it doesn’t evaporate). Holy Water is available at your local parish. You could also reserve holy water from the excess if you had a priest over to bless your home. If you’re preparing for baptism this coming Easter, ask your RCIA coordinator if you’d be able to take Holy Water from directly from the font in which you were baptized after Easter Vigil. Pray the Angelus The Angelus is a beautiful prayer of the Church that prompts the faithful to recall Mary’s fiat and hopefully prompts us to say “yes” to God’s will for our own lives as well. The full practice is to pray the Angelus at 6 a.m., 12 p.m., and 6 p.m., but it is also acceptable to pray it once a day at noon. You can set a reminder on your phone, or simply use it as part of your prayer before meals at lunch time. Live Liturgically Learn more about Saints and the Faith by celebrating Catholic feasts all year round in rhythm with the liturgy of the Church. Through cooking, prayers, manner of dress, and special tasks, you can “bring” the celebration of the liturgy into your home and heart each day. There are multiple shops, blogs, and books with explanations and ideas for anyone to implement, many of which are written by some of our own writers in Blessed is She community! There’s a Wideness to Growth in Holiness There is no cookie-cutter which molds us into sainthood. Each of us is unique in our design and unique in our mission. Some of these devotions may help you, and some of them may not. And that’s ok. In fact, that is the beauty of our Faith. Our Church spreads not only from east to west, but also across time and century. No one’s relationship with Christ is the same, and no one’s cross is the same, either. Thus, the way we love—and live—our Faith is beautifully unique. And that is by His design. How do you Catholicize your day? Share your favorite practices below! [bctt tweet="Ways to Catholicize Your Day #BISblog //" via="no"]

I’m a huge historical fiction fan. I have loved to read my entire life and always seem to have a stack of to-be-read books on my nightstand. Sound familiar? And you might also be able to relate to the fact that there was something missing from my reading life. While I was all about the fiction, even throwing in some biographies or memoirs, there really wasn’t much (or anything) from the spiritual realm on my ever-growing TBR list. That seemed crazy to me! So, I set out to change things up. Narrowing Down the Search Now, personally, I am not a big theology buff. I’ve tried a few times, but I always end up putting the book down before I’m even halfway through. For whatever reason, those just aren’t my jam. Devotionals and journals are fabulous to work though, but I still wanted the feel of reading a book. Do you know what I mean? I realized that what I wanted was something formed and inspired by the Catholic life. Something that I could relate to on a personal, everyday sort of level. And if it could be written by a woman? Even better! Social Media Inspiration Thankfully, I’m a big podcast listener and an Instagram junkie. Did you know that you can find endless fodder for reading material that way? These outlets have exposed me to all sorts of Catholic authors to follow. An added bonus is that by getting to “virtually” know these authors, I already had something invested in them and their material. I knew their voices before I even cracked open their book. New Titles for Your Catholic Bookshelf Here's my tried-and-tested list of five new(ish) books from some amazing Catholic women. Stories about life and love, motherhood, body image, home organization, and our place in this world. Sound intriguing? Let’s take a look. Death by Minivan by Heather Anderson Renshaw Each morning, coffee in hand, I’d read one chapter of this book before my kids woke up. The chapters cover different virtues and fruits of the Holy Spirit and include quotes from Saints, Scripture, and stories from Heather’s life. Truthfully, I never thought I could laugh so hard at a book on virtue and the fruits of the Holy Spirit! Heather has a genuine knack for storytelling and a deep faith, both of which make reading this book an absolute delight. She makes lofty ideas relatable and sublime aspirations seem achievable. Each chapter concludes with a prayer and space for reflection, which would make it a perfect book for a moms’ group or book club. Lovely: How I Learned to Embrace the Body God Gave Me by Amanda Martinez Beck A few months ago, I heard Christy and Haley of the Fountains of Carrots podcast interview this author. I enjoyed their conversation immensely and—as this was before the book had actually been released—preordered the book before the episode even finished. Like most women, I have a love/hate relationship with my body. I’ve read other books on the subject of body positivity before and follow several Instagram accounts based on the subject. But never have I felt like I was reading what would truly help my soul until I read this book. Amanda writes beautifully, almost poetically, about her own relationship with her body by examining all of the various ways she encounters her physical self. Chapters such as My Good Body, My Sacramental Body, and My Neighbor’s Body guide the reader to see themselves, others, and their physical bodies in a kinder, more loving, and more God-centered way. Girl, Arise! by Claire Swinarski Do you listen to The Catholic Feminist Podcast? I’ve been a follower of Claire’s and the podcast’s since its beginnings about two years ago. In each episode, she interviews women from all walks of life about how they live their lives as Catholic feminists. In other words, their feminine genius. This book is simultaneously hilarious and inspiring. Claire walks through many difficult areas of women’s lives—places where our situations or our opinions may make us feel at odds with Church teaching—and reminds us of the Truth and calls us to be and do better. As the cover says, this book is “an invitation to live boldly, love your faith, and change the world.” And you can even hear Claire on a recent episode of The Gathering Place with Beth Davis and Jenna Guizar! Make My Life Simple by Rachel Balducci I was so excited to find this book. First of all, Rachel Balducci is one of the funniest ladies on Instagram. Also, her role as long-time wife and mother to kids ranging from college to elementary school is something I can really relate to! It was awesome to read something that was pertinent to my current phase of motherhood. In this book, Rachel gives us tons of practical solutions to how we can create (and find!) order and peace in our everyday lives. She guides us as we examine how we arrange our schedules, our house-cleaning, and laundry routines. Even how we take care of our own bodies and spirituality. “Maintaining order in our lives means keeping our priorities straight. It’s having an understanding of what God has asked me to do, and then doing it. Order means giving the proper amount of attention to what truly matters. This takes a lot of work.” Does that sound like something you could use help with? Then grab a copy of this book. Be Brave in the Scared by Mary Lenaburg Truth be told, this book isn’t out yet. It’s release date is set for May 11 and preorders are being taken now. However, thanks Mary’s generosity, I was able to read the manuscript of this incredibly important book late last month. This book is unlike anything I’ve read in the Catholic world. It covers everything from pornography addiction and eating disorders to the life and death of Mary’s severely handicapped daughter, Courtney. With wit, humor, and grace, Mary shares her and her husband's story of doubt, difficulty, trust, and the goodness of God. It’s a tearjerker that will make you laugh out loud. How awesome is that?! Mary also invites the reader to dive deep into her own journey with Jesus as they read this book. Space to journal, questions that prompt reflection, and a hearty dose of laughter through tears will make this a book you will turn to again and again. What is new to your Catholic bookshelf? Let’s help each other find even more phenomenal Catholic writers to support! [bctt tweet="5 New Titles for Your Catholic Bookshelf #BISblog //" via="no"]

You might have heard that there are various rites within the Catholic Church, but you might not be sure what exactly that means. In order to more fully understand the origin and celebration of these rites, we asked an active member of our Blessed is She community, Jen, a Byzantine Catholic, to break it down for us. We hope that this Catholic rite Q&A gives you clarity and appreciation for the beautiful diversity of our Faith! A Look at the Different Rites in the Catholic Church What is a rite within the Catholic Church, and why are there different rites? When the Apostles began to spread out to share the Gospel, the way that Christianity developed in each geographical place was influenced by many different factors, including the culture and history of the people becoming Christian. God works through our humanity to build the Church, and that resulted in a wealth of diversity! All of these peoples received the same Faith from the Apostles, but they each have their own spirituality, approach to theology, and liturgy, which led to the development of unique rites. A rite is sort of like a family of churches within the family of the whole Catholic Church. In the early Church, there were five sees based in the most significant cities in the ancient world, each with apostolic origin: Jerusalem was the starting point of them all, followed by Antioch Alexandria Rome, and Constantinople, which was a slightly later addition that grew out of Antioch. The five sees saw further development into more than one distinct rite. Throughout history, the number has fluctuated. The See of Rome also used to have multiple rites, in fact, some of which are still in limited use. Today, there are a total of 24 self-governing sui juris churches that make up the Catholic Church as a whole. These churches fall into the six different rites: Latin, or Roman Rite Byzantine Armenian West Syriac (Maronite and Syro-Malankar) East Syriac (Chaldean and Syro-Malabar) Alexandrian (Coptic and Ethiopian). The Byzantine, Armenian, and Syriac rites all grew out of the See of Antioch. The most common Byzantine Catholic churches in the United States are Byzantine Ruthenian, Melkite (Byzantines originating from the Middle East), Ukrainian, and Romanian. There are a few Russian Catholic and Italo-Albanian parishes or missions. So are all Eastern Catholic rites in line with the Magisterium and in communion with Rome? All Eastern Catholic churches are in communion with the Apostolic See of Rome, and as such also the Pope as he is the Bishop of Rome. The Bishop of Rome is understood as having a certain primacy as first among equals, like the eldest among brothers. Each bishop, however is the primary guardian of the faithful in his church. I'm Roman Catholic. Can I attend the liturgy of an Eastern Catholic rite on Sundays to fulfill my obligation? What should I know before I visit? Absolutely! You can always attend any Catholic church of any rite. And you are always welcome to receive the Eucharist in any Catholic Church as long as you are properly disposed. You can also go to Confession to the priest there if you like. In the Byzantine rite, the priest usually hears confessions standing in front of an Icon of Christ. He will also use a different prayer of absolution. It’s a very beautiful experience! Receiving the Eucharist in an Eastern Rite One thing to be aware of when visiting a for Divine Liturgy is that we use leavened bread for the Eucharist. This symbolizes that the Lord is alive and has risen. The yeast is likened to the soul. It is alive, and because Christ is risen, the East has always seen leavened bread as fitting for the Eucharist. In the majority of Eastern churches the Eucharist is dipped into the chalice, and then given to the faithful from a spoon. Others, like the Melkite Church, will use intinction, where the priest will dip the Eucharist in the chalice and then place it in the mouth of the communicant. The priest might ask your name as you come up, as he says a short prayer that usually includes your name. Otherwise he will say “the handmaiden of God.” You can just go and see what the practice is and follow suit. But if you would feel more comfortable, you can let the priest or someone know ahead of time that you want to receive Communion and aren’t sure what to expect. They’ll be happy to show you! How can I tell the difference between an Eastern Catholic church and an Eastern Orthodox church? Ideally, just the name on the door! It is important to remember that the various particular churches developed their diversity long before they split, and they all came back into communion at different points in history, in different circumstances. Their theology, spirituality, and traditions were not meant to change. However, all of the Eastern churches have experienced some Latinization—the adoption of traditions of the West. Often, unfortunately, at the expense of their own traditions. An Eastern Catholic church (in line with the Pope and the Magisterium) is likely to have more Latinizations than an Eastern Orthodox church (not Catholic/submissive to the Pope). Beauty in Diversity The Church has emphasized the importance of all the churches diversity being restored and protected so that it can as Pope St. John Paul II said, “breathe with both lungs again.” In Orientalem Ecclesiarum the Second Vatican Council declared that: History, tradition, and numerous ecclesiastical institutions manifest luminously how much the universal Church is indebted to the Eastern Churches. All Eastern rite members should know and be convinced that they can and should always preserve their lawful liturgical rites and their established way of life, and that these should not be altered except by way of an appropriate and organic development. Easterners themselves should honor all these things with the greatest fidelity. Besides, they should acquire an ever greater knowledge and a more exact use of them. If they have improperly fallen away from them because of circumstances of time or personage, let them take pains to return to their ancestral ways.   This is a slow process though, and you may see instances of it to varying degrees it still. But we recognize that it is important to move closer to our identity. Not because anything is wrong with the Latin customs that have been adopted in and of themselves, but because the Church does not want us to lose our diversity. In a well-known speech at the second Vatican Council, the Patriarch of the Melkite Catholic Church at the time, Patriarch Maximos IV, spoke of the mission of Eastern Catholics: to ensure that Catholicism remains open to every culture, every spirit, and every form of organization compatible with the unity of faith and love. At the same time, by our example, we must enable the Orthodox Church to recognize that a union with the great Church of the West, with the See of Peter, can be achieved without being compelled to give up Orthodoxy or any of the spiritual treasures of the apostolic and patristic East, which is opened toward the future no less to the past. The Byzantine Catholic Rite What is the history behind the Byzantine Catholic rite, and what are the hallmarks of the Byzantine tradition? How is the Divine Liturgy different from the Mass? The Byzantine Rite is a family of churches that grew out of the See of Constantinople, which grew out of the ancient see of Antioch. Collectively, we are sometimes called “Greek Catholics” as opposed to “Roman Catholics." But we’re not necessarily ethnically Greek, just like Roman Catholics aren’t necessarily Italian. The Divine Liturgy We all primarily celebrate the Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom as our form of worship. Prayer is very communal in the Byzantine churches, even outside of Divine Liturgy. Prayer in the home is influenced a great deal by the festal cycle and often adapted from Morning and Evening Prayer of the Divine Office. The basic structure of the Divine Liturgy is very similar to the Mass. The first half consists of the proclamation of Scripture, followed by the celebration of the Eucharist. There will be lots of incense! The Divine Liturgy is entirely sung, and we go through a cycle of eight tones, to help everyone in the congregation to participate in singing. There are variations from one church: the eight tones in a Melkite church sounds different than a Ukrainian Catholic Church. Translations vary, and sometimes we commemorate different Saints. But for the most part, the calendars and lectionary are the same and the Divine Liturgy is fundamentally the same in any church of the Byzantine rite. The altar is hidden by an iconostasis, or a wall of some sort, covered with icons of especially important Saints, and an icon of Christ and the Theotokos. The doors, traditionally adorned with the icon of the Annunciation, open throughout the Liturgy, signifying that Heaven is being opened for us. Postures have different meanings from one rite to another. In the Byzantine rite, we typically worship standing. There are specific times that call for kneeling and prostration, which has a more penitential character. But not on Sunday, which is a day of rejoicing in the Resurrection. Rather than genuflection, we make what is called a metany, or a deep bow, signifying conversion, when approaching the altar or icons. What are the differences in the celebration of the Sacraments in Byzantine and Roman traditions? The Sacraments (often called Mysteries in the East) of initiation—Baptism, Chrismation (or Confirmation), and Eucharist—are received all together in the East. The idea that the Eucharist or Chrismation should be postponed until the Sacraments were understood never developed in the East. We recognize that we can never fully understand them. The sacraments, in fact, are what form our understanding of the grace of God. Holy Communion and the grace of Chrismation nurture the divine life placed in us at Baptism and understanding follows from that. There are also married priests in the Byzantine Rite. Priestly celibacy is a discipline, not a doctrine. St. Peter himself was married! The Church, both East and West, has ordained married men to the diaconate and the priesthood at different points from the earliest days, although a man may not later marry after being ordained. For many centuries, however, bishops have always been chosen from among celibate clergy, normally monastics. The families of priests add a wonderful element to community life of a parish, lending stability both to the community and in the priest’s life. He brings his experience of natural fatherhood and being a husband to being a spiritual father and understanding to the experiences of the laity. There is an important place for both in the Church! Do Roman and Byzantine Catholics venerate the same Saints? What about the liturgical calendar? We recognize and venerate the same Saints, but our liturgical calendars often focus on Saints of special significance to our own tradition. We have our own titles and devotions to the Mother of God, for example. Sometimes we commemorate the same Saints but on different days, and sometimes feasts differ in their significance. For example, the feast of Theophany, or Epiphany, is of even more importance to our festal cycle than Christmas (although we love Christmas, too!) In the East, Theophany emphasizes the Baptism of the Lord more, whereas in the West the adoration of the Magi is more prominent. Although the feast does commemorate both events, the emphasis is just different. How can I find an Eastern Catholic church near me? Where can I learn more about the Byzantine rite and other Catholic rites? I would start by just searching on Google for “Eastern Catholic Church near me” and see what pops up! You can also search for a specific tradition by looking up Melkite Catholic, Byzantine Catholic, Ukrainian Catholic, Chaldean, Maronite, etc. The types of Eastern Catholic churches near you will vary quite a bit depending on the part of the country you’re in. And although you can’t receive communion there, don’t be afraid to visit an Orthodox non-Catholic church if you’d like to learn more about it if you don’t have an Eastern Catholic Church nearby. The best way to learn about any church, regardless of rite, is to participate in the liturgy. Then, build a relationship with the community. What we pray teaches us what we believe. Are you an Eastern Catholic? What's your experience like? Are you a Roman Catholic with some follow-up questions about Eastern rites? Feel free to ask in the comments? [bctt tweet="Byzantine Catholic Liturgy + Tradition #BISblog //" via="no"] Written by Jen Rego.

So your spouse isn’t Catholic. Or he was, but he doesn’t practice anymore. Do you ever scroll through Catholic social media feeling as though you’re never going to live up to the standard? You can never be as good a Catholic as the women whose spouses pray the Rosary with them, take Insta-perfect post-Mass photos with them, and facilitate their children’s spiritual formation? I know how you feel, and I’ve felt that too. But God has spoken into these feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. He's shown me that my faith is just that: my faith. Although there are particular challenges presented by this situation, it does not need to limit your faith. When Your Spouse Doesn't Share Your Faith Here are a few things I've learned things in prayer and practice about living faithfully and fruitfully as a Catholic woman whose spouse does not share her Faith. Read the Catechism of the Catholic Church The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) gives us answers to questions about faith, morality, and doctrine. This includes the topic of "mixed marriage and disparity of cult" (i.e. a marriage between people of entirely different faiths/beliefs, or between different denominations). To summarise, the CCC tells us that although there are undeniable challenges presented by this situation, such marriages are licit (subject to dispensation from the Bishop) and can be conducive to a rich faith life for the Catholic spouse. The Church wants to facilitate such marriages by giving a clear model for success. For example, the Catechism states that the Catholic spouse should be guided by “sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer” (CCC 1637). I strongly encourage you to look directly to the Catechism for wisdom and guidance on this topic (CCC 1633-1637). Look to the Saints Find a Saint, or a few, whose intercession you can seek. A favorite of mine is Servant of God Elisabeth Leseur. Her husband was an atheist until he found her writings after her death. He then converted and became a priest! Others look to St. Monica, St. Augustine or St. Rita. But it doesn’t have to be a saint who was in a comparable situation to you. For example, I’ve been drawn to St. Joseph Moscati lately, who was a celibate doctor from a faithful family. Although his patronage might not make him an obvious choice, I’ve been getting to know him and I know he’s interceding for me. Simply find a Saint you "click" with, and ask them for help.     Check the "Rules" The Church absolutely welcomes those whose spouse may not be Catholic. However, check with a priest whether you are in good standing to receive the Eucharist. In particular, if your marriage has not been convalidated by the Church then you may not be able to receive Communion. (However, you may explore the option of radical sanation with your priest if your spouse is not open to having your marriage convalidated). Practical Tips Be open about discussing issues that may be problematic. Think kids, sexual ethics, and participation in the Sacraments. How are you going to find solutions that respect your Faith without your spouse feeling confused or rejected? Approach these conversations with patience, charity, and humility. Stay away from social media if it makes you feel bad. While many Catholic social media accounts can be encouraging and inspiring, sometimes it can cause "Catholic marriage envy." Envy can compromise mental and spiritual well-being, so be smart about whether the accounts you follow build you up, or make you feel bad. Don’t miss out. It can be easy to feel out of place at Mass, Bible studies, or other church activities. You look around and see couples kneeling together, jointly wrangling their children, or sharing about the verses they prayed over during family prayer time last night. You feel pangs of jealousy and ask God, “Why can’t I have that?” Many of us have been there! Try to remember that God wants you—not you as part of a devout Catholic couple. Just you. He knows your challenging circumstances and is delighted that you are pursuing Him in spite of them. Ask Him to deliver you from envy, and to grant the grace of gratitude for your faith and your family. Above all, keep showing up. Go to Mass, to Bible studies, and whatever you can manage that will nourish your faith. Don’t let self-consciousness or envy keep you away. Surrender control. Ultimately, it is in God’s hands whether and when your spouse will embrace Catholicism. Sometimes it can feel like there’s a magic formula. If we just find the right prayers, the right Saints, the right novenas...God will grant our desires. Of course, these things are good, and they are pleasing to God. But He works outside of space and time as we know it. The best thing we can do is submit gladly to His will in the knowledge that His ways are perfect. Respect your spouse and his beliefs. Don’t view him as "lesser" because he doesn’t share your beliefs. Avoid the temptation to consider yourself smarter, or wiser, or better because of your faith. Remember that faith is a gift and a blessing from God, rather than a personal accolade. You are Not Alone This cross can feel very heavy, and some days leave us feeling weary, even hopeless. God knows your pain, as does Mary. Ask them to use it to draw you nearer to the Cross. But rejoice! God loves you, just as much as He loves those in "perfect" Catholic marriages. He loves your spouse, too. And He can’t wait to show you the meaning of your trials once you reach Heaven. [bctt tweet="Living Faithfully and Fruitfully When Your Spouse Doesn't Share Your Faith #BISblog //" via="no"] Gina is a SAHM living in Paris, France with her husband and young daughter. A convert to the faith, she feels blessed to live in a city full of rich Catholic treasure, where she can explore and grow in faith. You can find out more about her here. HIS WORD CHANGES LIVES God is speaking to you through His Word. In this personal study, you will learn to hear God's voice by reading slowly and praying deeply. BEGIN THE JOURNEY

Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see, I am doing something new! // Isaiah 43:19 Thank you for these beautiful free wallpapers from Michelle Slough. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

In our seven years of marriage, my husband and I have spent over two years apart. My husband has deployed four times in those seven years. I went through those first two deployments without a personal relationship with Jesus. Because of that, those deployments were really hard. Bearing the Burden without Jesus I am a cradle Catholic. But at that point in my life, I had fallen away from the Church. My husband and I would fight all the time. It was mostly because I was overly sensitive and pouted about things that I didn’t need to. I hated not feeling the connection with him that I was used to while he was home. I didn’t know how to handle that. I was so desperate to create a connection, I would say anything and often start a fight over nothing. In the midst of those fights, I would want him to feel guilty about the smallest things. This is not only immature in a marriage, but one of the last things a deployed husband needs! During the third deployment, I gave birth to our fourth son a month after my husband had left. He watched the entire birth on FaceTime 7,000 miles away. That is probably the most difficult thing I've gone through in my life. It was bittersweet meeting this beautiful new life my husband and I created together, but with him merely on a screen. My heart ached more than I could bear. I longed to kiss him to congratulate him on the birth of his fourth son. All I could do was say, “I love you,” and look into his eyes glistening with tears. Looking back now, I wish I would’ve had a stronger faith and an actual relationship with Jesus then. I would have felt much more comfort even amid the suffering. Allowing Jesus to take over that cross for me would have made the experience completely different. Finding that Connection through God I became very depressed being alone and exhausted taking care of our four young boys in a brand-new area (we had just moved to Erie, PA). I was searching for a way to fill that void by eating a lot, watching TV I shouldn’t, and shopping online. These actions were only hurting me more. One day in late October 2016, I came across a marriage devotional advertised on Facebook that I ended up purchasing out of the blue. This devotional shook me to the core and completely opened my eyes to how I had been treating my husband through my words and actions, and—even more shockingly—how I had been treating God. I didn’t realize how disrespectful I was to my husband and how prideful I had been towards God. I constantly communicated to Him, “I don’t need you! I can do this on my own!” It was then that I began an actual relationship with Jesus. As a result of that new spiritual relationship, I had also never felt so close to my husband despite the 7,000 miles between us. Prayer became my lifeline during that deployment. Prayer became that connection to my husband that I had been seeking. My soul grew even hungrier for prayer, and it became my route for daily conversation with my Savior. I learned to pray endlessly for my husband, for protection over our marriage, and when we encountered problems. The peace that followed those prayers was a new kind of peace I had never experienced. I just knew everything was okay. My anxiety dropped drastically and I was able to enjoy my life and my marriage again. Catholicism in Military Life This new relationship with Jesus eventually led me back to the Catholic Church. At first, I was resistant, thinking the amazing messages I found in the devotional I loved so much wouldn’t be matched by the Catholic Church. I didn’t think I’d find anything relevant in the Church. I also didn’t expect to find fellowship, or even people who loved the Faith. But I was proven wrong (thank goodness!) and returned to the Church, stronger than ever, in April 2017. My husband deployed again January 2018-July 2018. It was by far the “best” deployment. It was still insanely tough, but the burden was easier to bear. I was pregnant with my fifth with horrible morning sickness and taking care of four young boys. But there was a new peace. I finally allowed the Eucharist to become my strength. Going to church was no longer something I felt obligated to do—it became the one thing I looked forward to the most each week. I finally found what I needed to survive the deployments with grace and a new hope each day. My marriage was strengthened, and my motherhood was strengthened through this new relationship with God. I could handle a lot more that came my way when I finally allowed Jesus to carry me through it. Additional Resources I participated in a video for Fr. Larry Richards’ Foundation, The Reason for Our Hope Foundation. That video can be found here. Catholic News Agency just released this post about a brand new Catholic marriage enrichment program for military couples that will be available for those in Canada and the United States. Are you or your spouse serving your country in the military? We are grateful, and we are praying for you! [bctt tweet="Catholicism in Military Life #BISblog //" via="no"] Elaine is a mother of five ages six and under, a military wife, and a writer for the Catholic Charismatic Renewal office for the Diocese of Erie, Pennsylvania. She loves big family gatherings and books about conversion stories. If she’s not surrounded by beautiful chaos, you can find her here.

Easter is coming soon, and many of us are deep into praying through our Lent devotional. You might be wondering what's next once Lent ends and Easter gloriously arrives. After such a prayerful Lent, how do we carry the spirit of prayer and virtue into the joy of the Easter season? With this in mind, Blessed is She devotional writer, Laura Kelly Fanucci, created a beautiful book for our community. Risen: 50 Ways to Live Easter is designed to take you through each day of the Easter season with real, practical ways to live it out. How to Fully Celebrate Easter with Laura Kelly Fanucci We sat down with Laura to discuss the heart and inspiration behind this project, what each day looks like, and what she hopes women take from this book year after year. Q1: Many Catholics aren't aware of the length of the Easter season (I wasn't until I was an adult!). Can you tell us a bit about how long the Easter season actually lasts and what that looks like for the Church liturgically? In the Catholic Church, Easter lasts for 50 days: from Easter Sunday through Pentecost. It’s actually the longest liturgical season in our Church year. But it’s not uncommon for many Catholics not to realize that Easter isn’t just one high holy feast of Easter Sunday. (There have been years in my life when I’ve frankly been surprised to find that we are still celebrating Easter, weeks later!) Ironically, it’s hard to sustain joy and celebration for weeks and weeks. And we don’t have the same kind of traditional practices for the Easter season that we do for Lent (with prayer, fasting, and almsgiving) or Advent (with Advent calendars and wreathes). In conversations with friends, I found that many of us felt the same. We didn’t know how to live Easter well—or for a full fifty days. So I wanted to jump into this deep season of joy and see what it might look like to live it in out in small ways each day. Q2: What served as your inspiration for Risen? Honestly, I wanted a book like this to exist for myself! For years I have wanted to live Easter more intentionally—to think about what it would be like to enter into the Easter season with more thoughtful practice and focused prayer. When I live Lent well (and more often, when I don’t), I’m hungry for Holy Week by the time Easter appears on the horizon. But I find myself wondering what to do with what comes next. So one year during the Easter season, I kept a running list of short, concrete ideas for how to live out the spirit of the season in small ways every day. As the list grew, I started to see the idea for a book take shape. I love devotional books that are realistic but deeply thoughtful—enough Scripture to chew on for the day, but not daunting in length or practice. So I wove together these elements: Scripture, reflection, prayer, and action. I also love the Resurrection stories in the Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles, and I wanted to immerse myself in them. I’m amazed at how they have transformed my understanding of the Resurrection and the mission we are given as disciples to carry this good news into our corners of the world. As I wrote, I kept this question in mind: how could I make this book offer readers a beautiful, joyful practice to take up each day in Easter? Q3: How is Risen formatted? Could this be done as a family or in a small group? For each day of the Easter season, Risen gives you: a short Scripture passage (from the Easter stories in the Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles) a fresh perspective on the day’s Scripture a prayer to reflect on your own life a short action to live out Easter You could absolutely read through Risen with your family! The reflections are short, the prayers are simple, and the action for each day is easily adaptable to any age or lifestyle. I could see a family reading it around the dinner table or as morning/evening prayer together. Risen would be great for a small group, too. I’d love to get together with friends during each week of Easter and share what we’re learning from reflecting on the Easter stories. You could easily do a weekly check-in by reading one of the Scripture passages from the past week and share how you’re living out the season through the prayers and action items. (PS We'll be walking through Risen together as a sisterhood in the Blessed is She App! Once you purchase your book, you'll get access to the link to join!) Q4: How is Risen different from other Advent and Lent Journals? Advent and Lent are natural times for journaling as we reflect on our relationship with God, do penance, and prepare for the high feasts of Christmas and Easter. But I know many of us get exhausted by the end of these seasons of deep reflection. We just can’t journal anymore! So I wanted to do something fresh and different with this book. There’s no journaling (although you could certainly use it with a journal if you wanted to write as you go). It’s simply a companion for prayer, reflection, and action. I wanted to get creative in imagining how we could live out Easter in our daily lives. The action items are some of my favorite parts of the book (so I don’t want to give too much away!). But I gathered ideas in Risen that range from what you could eat or wear during Easter to lively ways that you could bring the Easter spirit of joy to your interactions with friends, family, coworkers, and anyone you meet!     Q5: The heart of Advent is anticipation, penance, and hope. The heart of Lent is repentance, sacrifice, and salvation. What would you say is the heart of Easter? The heart of Easter is resurrection, celebration, and joy. It fulfills the hope of Advent and leads us to the fullness of salvation promised in Lent. It’s the culmination of everything we believe as Catholics. [bctt tweet="The heart of Easter is resurrection, celebration, and joy. It fulfills the hope of Advent and leads us to the fullness of salvation promised in Lent. It’s the culmination of everything we believe as Catholics."] Yet it can be challenging to feast and celebrate for 50 full days, especially when the rest of the world pulls down the Easter decorations on Monday morning. So I wanted to help us sustain the joy, deepen our reflection on resurrection, and let our lives be transformed by the power of Christ’s victory over sin and death. Q6: What do you hope people take away from reading through and living out Risen? Fun fact: Risen isn’t written just for women! I wrote it for a wide audience because I found that there wasn’t any book out there for Catholics who wanted to “practice” Easter in an intentional, prayerful way. I figured many loyal BIS readers might have friends, coworkers, sons, fathers, husbands, or boyfriends who’d enjoy picking up a book like this too! I also imagined it could be a great gift for new Catholics who have just entered the Church at Easter Vigil. So I hope that any reader finds Risen to be a helpful, realistic, easy, and encouraging way to journey through the Easter season. I hope readers discover the joy and hope at the heart of this season, and that they are able to marvel and wonder at the ways God is transforming their own lives through the Resurrection. One cool feature of Risen is that it can be used every Easter. So it’s a book you can pull out each year and dip into again. I hope it will be a beautiful resource for readers to return to next Easter and find how God is doing a brand-new thing in their lives all over again through the 50 days of this rich season. The #risenchallenge on the BIS App As we all celebrate the upcoming Easter season together, let's encourage one another in our prayer and action! We are doing a Blessed is She community-wide challenge during Easter, showing one another how we're celebrating Easter more fully this year. Once you have your copy of Risen and begin to journey through Easter with it, feel free to share photos of how you're living that day's action items on our Blessed is She App. We'll be sharing the prompts and walking tangibly together every single day. We can't wait to be inspired and encouraged by our beautiful sisterhood! Get Risen Will you be using Risen to help you more fully celebrate Easter? [bctt tweet="How to More Fully Celebrate Easter #BISblog //" via="no"]

Tithing is such an important gift to the Church. Yet, it can sometimes be a sensitive topic. After all, it can be uncomfortable, and maybe even confusing, when you feel like you have to give a portion of your hard-earned money on a regular basis. This is why I am so glad that my dad taught me to tithe as soon as I had my first job at the age of fourteen. His tithing lesson instilled in me that all I have is gift. What is Tithing? The word tithe comes from an Old English word meaning “a tenth part.” In the very first book of the Bible, we read the words from Jacob: This stone that I have set up as a sacred pillar will be the house of God. Of everything you give me, I will return a tenth part to you without fail.   We also read in Leviticus 27:30,32 that: All tithes of the land, whether in grain from the fields or in fruit from the trees, belong to the Lord; they are sacred to the Lord...The tithes of the herd and the flock, every tenth animal that passes under the herdsman's rod, shall be sacred to the Lord.   Traditionally, we give 10 percent of our income to the Church. Bthere is not a specific percentage of our wealth we are mandated to give. The Catechism of the Catholic Church states in paragraph 2449 that the Church talks about tithing as a matter of the Old Covenant. So it is not binding us in the New Covenant. However, we are still called to live by love. If it is not a matter of putting food on the table, then 10% is a good percentage to tithe. What is important is that we give what we are able and give from our heart. It reminds us that all we have is given to us from God. At the end of our life, we will be called to give an account of how we spent our treasure. Why Do We Tithe? Tithing is a recognition that 100% of what we have is God’s. One day we will be called to answer to how we spent our time, talent, and treasure. If you have the means to tithe, then seriously pray and consider tithing. If however, you are in the red, and all of your funds are going towards school or paying off loans, start by putting $2.00 in the collection basket at Mass every Sunday. It’s not entirely about how much we give, but that we make the sacrifice of giving. Remember the widow in Luke 21:1-4? When he looked up he saw some wealthy people putting their offerings into the treasury and he noticed a poor widow putting in two small coins. He said, ‘I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest; for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood.   The Heart Behind Tithing What does tithing look like for you and me? Is God calling you to give up a cup of coffee each week in order to put your “two small coins” into the collection basket? If it is, remember, Jesus saw her as giving “more than all the rest” because she gave all she have. We tithe because it is what we are taught in Scripture. There is a mosaic in Saint Peter’s Basilica in Rome at the Altar of Ananias and Sapphira called “Altar of the Lie.” This image shows the story in Acts 5: 1-11 where a couple is punished for keeping money that they had said would be given to the Apostles. They lied to St. Peter about who they had given their money to. This image, which is a copy of a painting by Cristoforo Roncalli, is placed in front of where the priest walks out as he leaves the sacristy to celebrate Mass. It is placed there as a reminder that the priest is called to give himself totally to God while not holding anything back. Where Should Our Tithe Money Go? Our Parish First, start with your local church. The Catechism says in paragraph 2179, “A parish is a definite community of the Christian faithful established on a stable basis within a particular church...It is the place where all the faithful can be gathered together for the Sunday celebration of the Eucharist. The parish initiates the Christian people into the ordinary expression of the liturgical life...it teaches Christ’s saving doctrine; it practices the charity of the Lord in good works and brotherly love.” Our parish gives so much to us. Just start with the Source and Summit of the Church, the Eucharist. I can’t think of a better place to tithe to then the very place which provides us with the grace to continue living our baptismal call each day. To live the Good News and share it with others. Finally, if every parishioner tithed to its parish, there is a good chance that parishes would not be suffering financially as severely as they are now. Other Efforts However, that is not to say that all of your tithe needs to go to your parish. If you would like to give a portion of your tithe to other things, consider the things you believe in and that are authentically doing God’s work. Look at the organizations that have made a meaningful impact on your spiritual life. There is a pregnancy resource center near our home. Even though they are not explicitly religious, we strongly believe in their values and we give a portion of our tithe money to them. We also give a portion to a non-profit which offers outdoor Catholic Youth Expeditions for high schoolers and young adults. This organization allowed both my husband and I to have a deeper encounter with Christ. If you are an art-lover, consider commissioning a work of art for your Church. Or perhaps purchase a painting at your parish’s silent auction. Most importantly, just ask the Holy Spirit where He is leading you to give. He will point you in the right direction. [bctt tweet="Tithing: What, Why, and Where #BISblog //" via="no"]

Here’s a little baby shower game for you: let’s list the very worst things about a traditional baby shower. Ready? The relentlessly perky atmosphere? The obligation to purchase a bushel of onesies no multipara needs? Those mortifying traditional baby shower games? Or maybe those are just my hangups. But I’m in my thirties now and have attended more than my fair share of baby showers, not a few of them for me. And that’s why I’ve been so grateful in recent years for the introduction of a mother’s blessing into my life. I can’t claim credit, certainly. At the time our little local tradition got its start, I was laid low with morning sickness and could barely hobble to the first mother’s blessing. But in the last couple years, our chapter of Blessed is She has thrown many such jamborees, and they’re always such an uplifting event for me. What is a Mother's Blessing? In these mother’s blessings, some elements of the baby shower remain: treats are (rightfully) still present, usually assembled by potluck. There’s often tea, and there might or might not be some attempt at decoration. But here the similarities between baby showers and mother’s blessings end. At a mother’s blessing, there are no (or very few gifts) and, mercifully, no games. In stripping down the baby shower to its essentials, a mother’s blessing does away with many of the pressures of a traditional baby shower. Gone are the financial obligation, the baby registry, the suffocating dictatorship of “theme.” The absence of these components can be liberating, making hosting much easier. As a hostess, I never find myself late-night searching Amazon for coral pink scalloped-edge napkins. As a guest, I skip the stress of assembling a gift bag of baby miscellany that is simultaneously cute, useful, and coordinated. While a traditional baby shower can still be a welcome rite of passage for new mothers in need of supplies, abandoning the gift-giving focus makes mother’s blessings a better fit for women who already have all the baby clothes they’ll ever need but could use a little cheering in those endless last weeks of pregnancy. Because here, the main event is prayerful encouragement. What a Mother's Blessing Can Look Like The amount and flavor of formal prayer—usually at the conclusion of the mother’s blessing—varies according to the new mama’s personality, with varieties of prayer ranging from the laying on of hands to a fairly brisk closing prayer crowned with a Hail Mary. I could also see a group Rosary working well in this space, or the conclusion of a novena. The format becomes ultimately less important than the communal spiritual act of focusing with a singleness of attention on the needs of this particular mother and child. As a guest, your job is simply this: loving on the expectant mother, arming her for the hard work of birth, be it unmedicated or surgical. You’re preparing, logistically and spiritually, your pregnant friend for the challenge of adding a new member of the family, whether her family is expanding from three to four or from eight to nine. You’re reminding her—and, if you’re a mother, reminding yourself—of the beauty of motherhood, but also of that eternal truth that something can be good and still be hard. Sharing Wisdom and Stories Balancing a plate on our knees as we cram on a couch, nestled on the floor with a cup of tea, we talk about our own experiences and we draw on the wisdom of ages. Spontaneous intergenerational chatter breaks out. We talk about one woman’s home birth assisted by her husband, how another friend owns the group records for both longest and shortest births. Of course, we complain about pregnancy symptoms! We talk about how our babies got their names, and we guess what this new little one might be called if the mama is tight-lipped. But what makes these gatherings so special is how we move beyond our own limited visions of motherhood. Encouragement from Scripture and the Saints Each woman comes equipped with a Scripture verse or or an encouraging passage. It’s dazzling to see all the sources these women pull from: Sigrid Undset and Dorothy Day, St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta and St. Pope John Paul II. One woman often gives Laura Kelly Fanucci’s beautiful Prayers for Birth. For awhile, a statue of St. Gerard embarked on a walkabout from expectant family to expectant family, though he has recently been lost where all good maternity jeans go, in some postpartum shuffle or another. The Sendoff At the end of the mother’s blessing, the mama-of-honor leaves with a book of encouragement and a tummy probably overfull from sweet things. But she also leaves reassured that she is not the first to feel her own aches and uncertainties. She is reminded that she is joined in this pregnancy, in this good, hard fight, by other striving, struggling Catholic mothers. And, better, she's accompanied by all the godly mothers of the Church Triumphant as we celebrate this new little soul. Have you ever attended a Mother's Blessing? What was your experience? Let's share some ideas in the comments below! [bctt tweet="What is a Mother's Blessing? #BISblog //" via="no"] Katherine Grimm Bowers is a Catholic revert and former librarian. She lives in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia with her husband, John, and their children, where she homeschools her eldest, bakes a mean loaf of sourdough, and helps run her church’s chapter of Blessed is She. You can find out more about her here.

I appreciate that our nation dedicates the entire month of April to celebrating poetry. Every spring when April rolls around, I relish in reading my favorite poems, most of which are secular. This year, however, I wanted to go a little deeper and explore the works of Catholic poets. I did some reconnaissance and discovered that a lot of Saints were actually poets too, and I found a world of incredible Catholic poetry. Celebrating National Poetry Month with the Saints These five deeply spiritual poems by Catholic saints are refreshing, joyful, sacred, and capture the essence of our Faith. “Do It Anyway” by St. Teresa of Calcutta This is a beautiful poem to read when we are tempted to feel annoyed, bitter, or defeated. I love how St. Teresa advises us to take the high road and to live virtuously regardless of how others might perceive us. People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God; It was never between you and them anyway. “Let Nothing Disturb You” by St. Teresa of Avila St. Teresa of Avila’s words recall the unconditional comfort that God offers us. Her poem reminds us not to be afraid, for God triumphs over evil. While things of the earthly world shall pass, He endures forever. Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices. “I Won’t Take No for An Answer” by St. Catherine of Siena This short, concise poem by St. Catherine of Siena makes me smile. I absolutely adore the imagery of God opening His arms to dance with us and refusing to take no for an answer. This is the perfect poem to read when needing a reminder that God is always ready to embrace us. “I won’t take no for an answer,” God began to say to me when He opened His arms each night wanting us to dance. “Our Need for Thee” by St. Francis of Assisi This deeply passionate poem by St. Francis examines our need for God. St. Francis reminds us that when we are sweet and kind, when we forgive and love, God draws closer to us and we experience His peace and love. In our ever present need for thee: Beloved, let us know your peace. Let us be your instruments that break every shackle, for do not the caged ones weep. And give us our inheritance of divine love so that we can forgive like you. And let us be wise, so that we do not wed another’s madness and then make them in debt to us for the deep gash their helpless raging lance will cause. Darkness is an unlit wick; it just needs your touch, Beloved, to become a sacred flame. And what sadness in this world could endure if it looked into your eyes? God is like a honeybee. He doesn’t mind me calling Him that; for when you are kind—sweet—He nears, and can draw you into Himself. What is there to understand of each other: if a wand turned the sun into a moon would not the moon mourn the ecstatic effulgence it once was. We are all in mourning for the experience of our essence we knew and now miss. Light is the cure, all else a placebo. Yes, I will console any creature before me that is not laughing or full of passion for their art or life; for laughing and passion— beauty and joy—is our heart’s truth, all else is labor and foreign to the soul. I have stood in His rain and now fill granaries as do the fertile plains; giving is as natural to love as sound from the mouth. There is a courageous dying, it is called effacement. That holy death unfurls our spirit’s wings and allows us to embrace God even as we stand on the earth. “Late Have I Loved You” by St. Augustine of Hippo An excerpt from his Confessions, in this poem St. Augustine expresses his categorical love for God. His urgent, descriptive account of how God emphatically persisted in calling St. Augustine back to Him calls us to remember that God is always seeking to be in communion with us. Late have I loved you, Beauty so ancient and so new, late have I loved you! Lo, you were within, but I outside, seeking there for you, and upon the shapely things you have made I rushed headlong – I, misshapen. You were with me, but I was not with you. They held me back far from you, those things which would have no being, were they not in you. You called, shouted, broke through my deafness; you flared, blazed, banished my blindness; you lavished your fragrance, I gasped; and now I pant for you; I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst; you touched me, and I burned for your peace. Poems by Saints Become Our Prayers I enjoy reading these Catholic poems, because unlike other poems I like to read, these are prayers, these nourish my soul and bring me back to God. This April may we grow in faith and draw nigh to God as we celebrate the saints and their beautiful poetry. What is your favorite poem by a Saint? [bctt tweet="Celebrating National Poetry Month with the Saints #BISblog //" via="no"] Mercedes Shirts lives in Idaho, land of the potatoes, with her husband, bulldog and cat. When not indulging in a good read and black coffee, she enjoys cooking, running and sipping red wine. You can find more about her here.

An Act of Contrition With a cynical heart, I stand obediently in church, Holding my young son’s hand, In line with other adults whose hearts May or may not be ensconced in the same shell of cynicism as mine. It is late morning, And the blinding sun bears down at a slant through tall clear windows Illuminating the nave, the pews, these many children in a line, And my crusty cynicism. This is not the same church In which I was raised. The church of my childhood had stained glass windows—not clear— Which threw green and crimson and fiery orange Transgressions like lightning bolts bouncing crossways about the church. The altar was draped and muted; our school uniforms were woolen and heavy; The bulbous microphones were intermittently staticky and shrill. The stolid candles were always lit but never, never melted. Unchanging. Immutable. And then there was The Dark Place. That “forgive me Father for I have sinned” closet That upright coffin of terrifying intimidation Within which resided all those Secret selfish sins, That I was powerless to conquer Being merely seven. Merely seven, my young son, Who holds my hand lightly With nearly clean fingernails, Is not riddled with debilitating apprehension Is not dreading the loss of Heaven or the pains of hell. No. He simply awaits his turn in line For his Sacrament of First Reconciliation. This is not the same church In which I was raised. This church has priests who sit openly in public, whispering gently to its penitents, With airy organic cleanliness With golden shafts of late morning light With transparent reconciliation of its own cloaked past. We move up in line. My cynicism, progeny of 35 years of apprehension, Begins to soften, to melt like candle wax. I look around to witness these children Confess their secret sweet sugary sins To priests who merely nod, but never scowl. I took candy from my brother. I disobeyed my father. I got in a fight with my sister. We are second in line. We are first in line. It is his turn. He releases my hand, And without looking back (because he fears nothing!), He steps up onto the altar and takes his seat in the metal chair. Facing the priest, his back to me, He signs himself, dutifully recites, “Bless me Father for I have sinned.” And proceeds to have himself A fine little chat, a fine little chat indeed. I watch his feet, which do not touch the ground, Swinging beneath the metal chair, Utterly unconscious of the miracle of transubstantiation. My son returns to me within minutes (not hours!) And holds up his prize (a bookmark!) And reports he must say three Hail Marys (only three!). And so we kneel together in the church which is not the same church In which I was raised. After our requisite silence, I ask him the question I always dreaded being asked, And which I firmly resolved, with the help of Thy grace, to avoid, (But alas, I am playing the role which was handed down to me, In which I am obligated to test with medieval ruthlessness the purity of my child’s soul) I ask, “Do you feel any different?” My son, my son, my beloved son Of whom I am moderately pleased, most days, Who, like this church, will surely outlive me And whose children may still enter a wholly different church, Shrugs. Pauses. Opens his mouth to speak. Stops. Begins again. Says, “Yeah, I think so.” Pauses. Says, “Like I can start over.” Smiles up at me. Smiles up at me in the utterly clear Utterly unstained Utterly timeless Late morning sun. Oh my God I am heartily sorry For having ever doubted Thee. Eileen McKeagney is a wife, mother, Catholic high school English teacher, daughter, sister, and lifelong writer. She lives in San Juan Capistrano, CA with her husband, who hails from Co. Fermanagh, Northern Ireland, and their three children. As a literature teacher, she gets to teach love stories, each and every day. In her spare time, Eileen is a minivan chauffeur for her children, makes a mean jar of homemade preserves in the summertime, and occasionally writes poetry and prose. Read more of her original work and learn more about her here.

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the stalwart one who takes refuge in him. // Psalm 34:9 Thank you for these beautiful free wallpapers from Sarah Ann Design. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

What comes to mind when you think of beauty? Is it a piece of artwork? A glorious landscape? Or is it something more akin to modern society’s standards of beauty found on social media or in fashion magazines? The Transcendentals: Truth, Goodness, and Beauty Out of truth, beauty, and goodness, beauty has often been considered the most influential transcendental. Throughout history, humans have sought what is beautiful, believing that what is beautiful must ultimately lead to what is good (and therefore true). Consider the Greeks: they believed that beauty and goodness were irrevocably connected. The Greeks coined the term “kalokagathía” which means beauty-goodness. Plato believed that it was through beauty that goodness was found. According to this understanding, truth and goodness are revealed through the beauty existent in the world. Pope St. John Paul writes on this topic in his 1999 “Letter to Artists.” He writes that "the link between good and beautiful stirs fruitful reflection. In a certain sense, beauty is the visible form of the good, just as the good is the metaphysical condition of beauty.” True beauty opens one’s mind toward considerations of higher forms of beauty. Beauty calls us out of ourselves. The experience of true beauty harkens us to something higher. This something is what John Paul II refers to as the “hidden nostalgia for God.” Sometimes, when experiencing something profoundly beautiful, we find ourselves with tears in our eyes. True experiences of beauty can be overwhelming. True beauty harkens us to God. The experience of beauty satisfies our soul’s desire while at the same time leaves us wanting more. We are pushed beyond ourselves and our longing for the ultimate experience of beauty is strengthened. Ultimately, we will only experience beauty fully when we come into full unity with God in Heaven. Through experiencing what is beautiful, ultimately one is experiencing God who is the embodiment of truth, beauty, and goodness. [bctt tweet="Beauty calls us out of ourselves. #BISblog //" via="no"] What is Authentic Beauty? Our world is obsessed with beauty. However, the beauty in modern culture is often found to be a twisted form of beauty. Women especially feel pressured to change their bodies and make themselves into what society deems beautiful. As a whole, society feels pressured to make their lives pictures perfect and Pinterest-worthy. If our lives don’t fit this definition of beauty and success, we feel we have failed. This imitative beauty will not satisfy our hearts. Buying new outfits in an attempt to make ourselves beautiful or changing our appearances to satisfy the latest trends cannot bring us lasting joy. In our modern lives, we often look to social media and judge our lives by it. The appearance of social media draws us in. But it cannot satisfy our hearts. The beauty found on social media is often an imitative beauty, which causes us to remain focused on ourselves and our own desires. When you look at social media, or watch particular movies or TV shows, they force you to look at your own life. You see this beauty and want more for yourself. True beauty brings you outside yourself. It transforms you. Instead of left looking inward, you are moved by something greater. True beauty causes us to reach outside ourselves. True beauty inspires goodness and acts of love. An experience of beauty should strengthen our hearts and push us to give of ourselves instead of giving to ourselves. Christ, the Beauty of Our Souls How can we determine what is truly beautiful? The world is so deceptive. There is much evil in the world masked by beauty. We must seek what inspires us, what pushes us towards a deeper purpose, and what brings us closer to God. Beauty in its truest form is Christianity. The beauty of the Person of Jesus drew others in and captivated them. Christ looked upon the Apostles and helped them come into a fuller understanding of themselves. Scripture illustrates how Jesus offered the answer to all the questions that the disciples didn’t even know to ask. In the first chapter of John, Jesus invites John and Andrew to “come and see.” After spending time with Jesus, they are convinced that He is the Messiah. They were transformed by this encounter with Christ. The form of Christ and of the Christian message when lived in the Church is beauty. This beauty is not only in art and music, but the beauty of a devout and simple life lived in devotion to Christ. Embrace this Beauty We must embrace what is beautiful. The beauty of lovely artwork, of gorgeous sunsets, and of simple joys. We must also accept that the beauty in our own lives is imperfect. We are human. Our lives are not perfect. However, if we look to this beauty in our lives and allow ourselves to be pushed by it, we will find ourselves growing closer to God. In the words of St. Augustine, “Beauty grows in you to the extent that love grows, because charity itself is the soul’s beauty.” What is beautiful in your life at this very moment? Let's share beauty with one another in the comments below! [bctt tweet="What Beauty Does for Our Souls #BISblog //" via="no"] Mary Grace Dostalik is from Plano, Texas and is a junior at Benedictine College where she is majoring in Evangelization and Catechesis and minoring in both Journalism and Dance. She spends her time drinking tea, writing, dancing, and reading (sometimes all at once). She is an aspiring writer and hopes to use her talents to glorify God.

One afternoon I listened to Leonard Cohen’s “Come Healing” song while sipping water diligently. “The splinters that you carry, the cross you left behind… come healing of the body, come healing of the mind,” he sung. It seemed suitable to listen to Cohen pray-singing for the coming of healing while I tried to increase water intake and become a healthier person. Since then, the notions of Cohen and dehydration fused in my mind. Now, when I think of Cohen, the notion of how not only our bodies but also our souls can be “dehydrated” comes to mind as well. Thirsting for God Dehydration occurs when the body is losing more fluid than it is taking in, resulting in the body’s normal functions suffering. Our bodies thirst for water, and we know it is a life-force that we desperately need. Yet somehow we still don’t feel like drinking enough of it. Interestingly, when you listen carefully to Leonard Cohen’s music, it can sound like he is also dehydrated, in a different sense. The spiritual questions that evaporate from his lyrics seem to be greater than the spiritual answers he takes in. Cohen does not shy from God. He often actively searches for Him, and his lyrics beautifully take the listener on journeys of love, loss, and the need for forgiveness. My first encounter with Cohen’s music was in high school through the song, “Alexandra Leaving.” Unaware at the time that it was based on Constantine Cavafy’s poem, “God Abandons Antony,” I just listened, mesmerized, while Cohen sang: And you who were bewildered by a meaning Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost. The song communicates a troubling sense of loss, of someone or something still physically present, perhaps, but not fully there. Listeners cannot help but analyze with Cohen the question of whether to resign, how to make peace, and where to start in formulating a response to confusion or pain. Leonard Cohen Reminds Me of My Longing for God Other of his songs—“Anthem,” “If It Be Your Will,” “Suzanne,” “Almost Like the Blues”—more explicitly deal with spiritual themes and manifest how much Cohen’s soul thirsts for infinite goodness, which he knows is found in God. Equally clear from his songs, however, is that it can be a struggle to gulp down the water of faith, a struggle to find and express satiation. In his Old Ideas album, for example, Cohen begins and ends a song with words from the point of view of God looking down at him. God, Cohen imagines, says: I love to speak with Leonard… He wants to write a love song An anthem of forgiving A manual for living with defeat… But that isn’t what I need him To complete. These ironic words from Cohen’s imagination speak of God’s love and are hopeful overall. God wants a relationship with him and he, Leonard, is listening and responding. But Cohen’s image here, and his songs in general, also carry a sense of reluctance in abandoning distractions and giving full attention to spiritual thirst. Generally, his lyrics don’t give us the impression that he has been able to swallow the holy water of God’s goodness and find full health. There are the marks of dehydration—of intense thirst for God—in his music, but sometimes, like us, he’s not drinking. Are We Drinking the Water of Life? My point is not to criticize Leonard Cohen. The man is worthy of respect and means a great deal to me personally as a songwriter. In fact, Cohen’s “dehydration”—the desire and need for a deeper understanding of and relationship with God that is evident in his lyrics— is a significant part of what makes him so persuasive to his listeners. In his dehydration, we recognize our dehydration. We feel a bit more empowered to carry on, knowing that others have journeyed this wandering path before. We are all in need of the hydration of grace. Sometimes encountering another’s thirst reminds us that we need to turn to God, “the source of living waters” (Jeremiah 2:13). While it may not be Leonard Cohen, what artists or other figures in your life remind you of this reality? Dehydration and the Saints This idea of dehydrated personalities is all the more striking in light of the spiritual doctrine of the Catholic Saint and mystic Elizabeth of the Trinity, whose spirituality was marked by a powerful sense of God living within us. Elizabeth speaks of the soul who permits “the divine Being to satisfy within it His craving to communicate all He is and has.” She prays to be this soul, saying: Keep me there (in the heart) all absorbed in Thee, in living faith, adoring Thee and wholly yielded up to Thy creative action. Elizabeth offers us an example of how thirst can lead to a total absorption in God’s friendship that almost makes all other distractions disappear. Come to the Water Few souls, of course, are so remarkably absorbed with God’s presence that they can speak authentically of living Heaven on earth. Cohen’s lyrics are quite different than Elizabeth’s spiritual doctrine. But perhaps his work can be a stepping stone toward the radical consumption of God’s love that Elizabeth demonstrates. These figures stand at varying points along the road of thirst, generously pointing us toward hope. As they eloquently and vulnerably share their own journeys toward hydration, this makes them accessible for the rest of us with thirsty souls. There’s no getting rid of thirst in the human experience— thirst for laughter that lasts, thirst for meaning in the motions of life, thirst for an ultimate answer to anguish in our hearts. But there are many different kinds of thirst. There’s physical human thirst, which is essential to our wellness as a body-soul composite. There’s also Cohen’s thirst, the thirst of a man who has a strong sense of the spiritual realm yet seems to struggle sometimes to lift the chalice to drink. And there’s the thirst of the great Christian Saints and martyrs, who have tasted the blood of the New Covenant and become thirstier still, even as they have become full. Let’s let all kinds of thirst remind us of the possibility that—if we turn away from the temptation to direct our thirst toward earthly sensations that never satisfy—our thirst can be quenched by God’s presence, and yet somehow increase at the same time, stretching us in our desire and capacity for living water. [bctt tweet="How Leonard Cohen Reminds Me to Thirst for God #BISblog //" via="no"] Savanna Buckner is a freelance writer finishing her M.B.A. with Walsh University. Previously, she served as a missionary teacher at a junior college in Belize. She loves art, entrepreneurial projects, and volunteering at Montessori schools.

If you have ever been pregnant, you know the feeling of protecting the miracle growing inside of you. You know how your mind is filled with constant thoughts of the little baby you are carrying. But what happens when that baby doesn’t make it to meet you in the world? When protecting your child isn’t possible? When your biggest fear comes true? The truth is that miscarriage just happens. The world keeps moving and you feel at a stand still not ready to move or wanting to. You do not know how to act, how to process this kind of loss, or how to share the news of losing the baby you never got to meet, especially with those who never knew you were pregnant. Leaning Into God As Christians, we trust God, the Author of life, to bring a life into being and to bring a life back home to Him in heaven. We trust His timing and His goodness. But we do not always understand, and that can be hard to grapple with. During a miscarriage, everything changes so quickly and the anticipation and hopes for your baby slip through your fingers before you ever held them. There is no meeting, no memories, nor knowledge of the personality of God’s little masterpiece. To put it simply: your heart is broken. How can the truths of the Catholic Faith and our personal relationship with Jesus further help us process and cope? But above all, how can it help us honor our children that graced our lives for such a time? Coping After Miscarriage It is okay to grieve! The presence of faith does not mean the absence of grief. The holiness of a person can help cope, but should not be quantified by our grief. Jesus knew Lazarus would be raised from the dead, yet He still wept. Mary, the embodiment of trust in the Lord, mourned at foot of the Cross. Mary Magdalene and the disciples had faith in Jesus enough to give up their lives and follow Him, yet felt a sense of lost hope before the Resurrection. Even with knowledge of Jesus, the trust of Mary, and the faith of the Apostles, Scripture shows us grief still exists. Further, Scripture shows that God comforts us in our suffering. “He is close to the broken hearted.” He does not shy away from our pain, but enters into it with us and even takes it upon His shoulders. He doesn’t say move on, pick yourself up. Instead He holds us tenderly, meeting us in our pain, and He guides us closer to Him and to our salvation. So grieve, my sister. It will bring you healing. Mourn as you mourn. Take off work or work a ton, eat ice cream or watch a movie, take a deep breath or cry. Self-care is important, but it may look different for everyone. Be true to you and give yourself time to be sad or process this as you need. Acknowledging your feelings and processing them in a way that is natural for you is important. When we found out we were going to miscarry, I remember being confused and praying the doctor was wrong. I was up all night. I woke my husband and for no reason at all, asked him if we could sleep upside down on the bed. I do not know what it was—if my world seemed upside down—but for some reason it gave me some sense of brief peace although it held no rational value. Mourning does not need to make sense. It is your process to grieve and heal. Cling to your spouse and family. This is a loss that no one will feel in the same way as you and your spouse. It is easy to be distant from your spouse during this time. But as humans, we need community, especially when we encounter hardships. A priest encouraged us to say our wedding vows to one another. This was not only incredibly profound for us, but brought us unity and healing as a couple. We vowed to stand by each other in joys and suffering, good times and bad. We knew our faithful Father would stand by us too. Connect with local parish or hospital. Meet with a priest, religious, faithful mentor, or join a grief group. You are not alone. There are people available to process your loss with you and people who are going through similar pain. Never blame yourself. This has nothing to do with anything you did! It is easy to go through your mind and try to pinpoint what you could have done differently to help your child. This can be a damaging practice. It is particularly harmful and futile in this situation because this is not your fault and completely out of your control. Put your hope in Jesus and the truths of our Faith. God is Good, Jesus overcame the grave, Heaven is real, and the Lord’s plans are perfect. Turn to Scripture time and time again see how God takes care of His people. Honoring Your Baby In any unexpected death, the worst feeling is that you cannot stop it, you cannot protect the person you love. Now that they are gone, how do you honor this unrepeatable miracle? I have heard many mothers who struggle with the feeling that they did not do right by their child. Women feel guilty, knowing their baby's worth but having no outlet to honor that reality. Women grieve while sitting in the bathroom with the remains of their child in the toilet, refusing to flush because it does not feel dignified. Women sit on strainers with hopes to gather any remains of their child so they can bury them. Women wishing they had resources and options for proceeding with the knowledge they will lose their child. Thousands of women are facing this every day and wondering what they can do to honor their child. The Church has steps it needs to take to minister to women who have lost babies. But there are so many beautiful aspects of our Faith that allow us to honor our children that we should embrace. Here are some tangible ideas. Name your baby. There is power and importance in a name. God is the Author of life, but gave us the authority to name our children. In the Bible, names hold so much weight. Jesus changes names of his apostles, Zachariah gets his voice back when he proclaims his child’s name, and names are constantly used to tie people together, to show to which family someone belongs. There is intimacy in knowing someone by name, in God calling us by name, and in speaking a name. We named our child Olive Magdalene. We did not know what people would think of naming our baby, especially since we did not know the gender. But it gave us an intimacy with our baby we could not have anticipated—specifically an intimacy in prayer. As Catholics, we believe anyone in Heaven is a saint whether canonized or not. They are close to Jesus and therefore have powerful prayers. We can communicate with them; we can ask our child for prayers. If you are familiar with St. Therese of Lisieux, you know the holiness of her entire family. All of them yearned for Heaven so vocally and passionately. What you may not remember is the family also consisted of four children that Zelie Martin miscarried. They are acknowledged by the family and in The Story of a Soul. Therese even asked her siblings in Heaven for prayers. I think the reality of Heaven and the desire for it by the Martin children stems in part from the openness of their other sibling by their parents. Naming your child allows us to make them an intricate part of our family life and a special saint watching over you. St. Olive, pray for us! Have an intimate service to honor your baby. It can be helpful to have concrete rituals or ceremonies to recognize a life lost and the pain of that loss. As husband and wife, have a simple prayer service or invite a priest to your home to lead you. Here is a prayer after miscarriage and a blessing on parents. Do something tangible that you can see in your everyday life. As Catholics, we use tangible sacramentals to encounter our Faith: holy water, incense, bells, candles, etc. None of these are necessary, but they add to our faith experience. Tangible representations or reminders of the life you carried can be a helpful way to honor them. Plant a tree, buy a piece of artwork, buy a memorial stone, buy a necklace, start a new practice, or volunteer. I never wanted a day to go by where I would not acknowledge the life God gave me. I wanted to have daily reminders, not of the loss, but of the baby we had in Heaven with Jesus. I had a memorial stone made by an artist and was given a beautiful painting of angel holding a baby from my sister. Both are great reminders of our child, Jesus’ saint. Don’t be afraid to say you have a baby in Heaven. There was a sting every time someone would ask, “Do you have kids?” and I would reply, “No.” It made me want to say, “I haven’t forgotten you I am just trying to keep this conversation comfortable.” But you can empower others, evangelize about the value of every life, and be a witness to others suffering if you are open. Talk. This is the most important step for grief, honoring your child, and changing the way miscarriage is handled currently. Miscarriage happens in 20% of pregnancies. The frequency makes it no less devastating to a family and is even more reason we need to talk. Talking about miscarriage is surprisingly difficult for many reasons. There is a feeling that you do not have the right to grieve. You do not want people to think you are looking for pity. You know others have gone through worse in life. Perhaps you do not want to scare others who are starting a family. There is a sentiment that you weren’t really a mom or a parent because you never got to raise the child. There are so many reasons you feel you shouldn’t say anything. But you also feel the life should not be ignored, especially as Catholics and as a mother. Do not avoid talking out of fear or discomfort. We need to talk about miscarriage, as women and as Christians. Conversation is necessary for women to process stress and to cope. When we open a dialogue, not only does vulnerability free ourselves and allow us to heal, but it gives others room to heal as well. After I became vocal about my miscarriage not only did I start to heal, but I felt that I was honoring the little babe. The more I talked, the more I was overwhelmed by how many women came forward to share their experience of miscarriage. The Hope After Miscarriage Where there is darkness and sadness, grace abounds and love overcomes! When Jesus ascended to Heaven, the Apostles thought, "Who will guides us now? Who will lead us? What are we to do?" But Jesus didn’t leave them. He still exists in the world in unexpected but daily ways. With eyes open, you will see the way Jesus protects your little one. You will feel His tender hand. People can call you crazy, but like the Apostles, no one can shake the conviction that comes with an encounter with Jesus. My husband and I had a miscarriage a week before we were to leave on a road trip. Days leading up to the trip, God kept giving us glimpses of His goodness. From the first day we found out we were pregnant, we were drawn to the name Olive for no explainable reason. We kept asking one another what happened on the Mount of Olives throughout the pregnancy, but never took the initiative to open our Bibles. During this time, I was reading Jesus: A Pilgrimage by James Martin. On the day we lost the baby, I read about the Ascension of Jesus which happened on the Mount of Olives and felt God’s closeness to us. But He did not stop loving on us. Every day of our road trip, we unintentionally saw the word Olive in the most unexpected places. The conviction and grace that these signs gave us sustained us. Exactly a year after we miscarried, God graced us with the birth of our daughter Faith, a few days late, but right on time. I have friends who have similar stories of God showing them His tender love in unexplainable ways after they miscarried. If you keep your eyes open, you will see Him holding you and your child tenderly. As much as I wanted to meet our child, see their little face a tiny toes, teach them the alphabet, take on sleepless nights and watch them grow, I cannot help but think the first thing the little babe saw when they opened their eyes was the face of Jesus. I cannot help but think they will spend entirety of their existence in a place with the fullness of love, joy, and peace. I cannot help but dream about us one day being reunited and meeting for the first time. As Zelie Martin said, “We will see our children up above!” If you have experienced miscarriage, know that we are praying for you. What has helped you in your grieving process? [bctt tweet="Healing After Miscarriage #BISblog //" via="no"] Written by an anonymous daughter of God, wife, and mother who is daily learning to be His!