“Do not leave the altar without first shedding tears of sorrow and love for Jesus, crucified for your eternal salvation. Our Lady of Sorrows will keep you company and inspire you.” // Saint Pio of Pietrelcina
I met Our Lady of Sorrows on my very first silent retreat. The priests of Miles Christi, who led the retreat, have a special devotion to her under this title. Every time we prayed, we invoked her intercession: Mater Dolorosa, Cause of Our Joy, pray for us. And one day, instead of praying the traditional Rosary, we prayed the Chaplet of the Seven Sorrows of Mary instead.
Throughout the retreat, I felt an increasing desire to draw near to Our Lady of Sorrows. I wanted to console her, as she consoled her Son at the Foot of the Cross. Through prayer and meditation, I realized, maybe for the first time in my life, just how much Mary suffered. Not only at Calvary, but throughout her entire life. And yet, she never wavered in her faith, and she maintained a peace of heart that could not be shaken. She remained the Stabat Mater, “close to Jesus to the last.”
By the end of the retreat, I felt closer to Mary than ever before. But I knew this initial introduction was only the beginning. I wanted to know her better as Our Lady of Sorrows, because I wanted to learn how to love the Lord like she loves Him—not just in joyful and peaceful times, but also when pain, suffering, disappointment, and heartache come my way.
Seven Sorrows of Mary
From the moment of the Annunciation, Mary cooperated perfectly with God's plan of salvation. As the Mother of God, there were many joys in Mary's life. But even though she was highly favored and blessed among women, Mary did not live an easy life. She experienced life’s highs and lows, just like we do.
Mary knew suffering, heartache, and deep sorrow. Traditionally, the Catholic Church honors seven sorrows in the life of Mary, which are rooted in Sacred Scripture:
- The Prophecy of Simeon
- The Flight into Egypt
- The Loss of Jesus in the Temple of Jerusalem
- Meeting Jesus on the road to Calvary
- The Crucifixion and Death of Jesus
- Receiving the Body of Jesus from the Cross after He Died
- Jesus’ Burial
With each sorrow, Mary continued to say yes to God, continued to be docile to the Holy Spirit, and continued to lovingly surrender it all to Him.
Our Lady Understands Sorrow
Years after my initial introduction to Our Lady of Sorrows, I experienced a tipping point of sorts. The last straw, so to speak. One life stressor after the other, some at the same time. It didn’t seem possible, and it certainly didn’t seem fair.
My family was experiencing so much loss and disappointment; so much pain and heartache. And I often wondered like the Psalmist, How long, O Lord? (see Psalm 13:1 and 90:13)
As I turned to Our Lady of Sorrows, I considered that she may have prayed that prayer, too—How long, O Lord?—because she did not know how long she would have to suffer, either.
Since Mary knows and understands so much about the human experience, she remains by our side when the Lord asks us to wait longer than we anticipate. She keeps us company when waves of sorrow come crashing down or when agonizing emotion overpowers us. And she intercedes for us, as our devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows grows.
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Devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows
Throughout Church history, two feast days have been associated with the Seven Sorrows of Mary:
- September 15
- the Friday before Good Friday
Devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows began in the 1200s with the Servite Order. In the fourteenth century, Our Lady revealed to Saint Bridget of Sweden seven promises that she would fulfill to those devoted to her Seven Sorrows. Then, in 1482, a feast was placed in the Roman Missal under the title of Our Lady of Compassion. And in 1727, Pope Benedict XIII placed the feast on the Friday before Good Friday.
While this feast was eliminated from the liturgical calendar with the revision published in 1969, the September 15 feast day remains in the liturgy. And the Church dedicates the entire month of September to Our Lady of Sorrows.
Cause of Our Joy
Something worth noting about the Feast of the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary on September 15 is that it is preceded by the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary on September 8 and the Most Holy Name of Mary on September 12.
These three feast days of Our Lady invite us to contemplate the totality of Mary’s life—how joy and sorrow ebbed and flowed throughout her life, just as they do in ours.
Moreover, the proximity of these three feast days reminds us that suffering with Christ should not lead to despair. We have hope, because God always keeps His word. He promises new life in the hope of the Resurrection, and He fulfills His promise through the sorrow and pain of the Cross. Our Lady knew this. And she believed with all her heart that “at dusk weeping comes for the night; but at dawn there is rejoicing” (Psalm 30:6).
Yes, Mary shows us how to find joy in the midst of suffering. And this is how Our Lady of Sorrows is indeed the Cause of Our Joy.
“It is because Mary is the ‘Mother of Sorrows’ that she is able to be the ‘Cause of Our Joy,’ and we must all pass by the same route” (Mother St. Paul, Mater Christi: Meditations on Our Lady).
Compassion for Our Sorrows
Since first meeting Our Lady of Sorrows fifteen years ago, I have experienced ample sorrows of my own. But every time I walk through a “vale of tears,” Mary is there to offer comfort, guidance, and intercession. From her own experience, she understands my sufferings. And like a comforting balm, she soothes my broken heart with hope in her Son.
Mater Dolorosa, Cause of Our Joy, pray for us!
Sarah Damm is a regular contributor to the BIS blog. She is a Catholic wife and mother of six children, living in Minnesota. She spends her days running errands, helping with homework, and keeping up with laundry and the family schedule. Sarah loves her faith, coffee, and good books. You can find out more about her here. Read all of Sarah's posts here.
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