Gaze: A Reflection for Holy Week

Read:

Then they seized Him and led Him away, bringing Him into the high priest’s house, and Peter was following at a distance. And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with Him.”  But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know Him.” And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with Him, for he too is a Galilean.” But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 

Respond:

I made the mistake of thinking I could never walk away again. 

I thought it was better, I thought I had it all under control.

We had history. Relationship. Surely I’d always be that strong.

Here we are. The ground was pulled out from under me, and I let go of every good thing, even You. The chaos made me forget that I need You, even forget that I love You. 

Those that passed me knew that I was Yours, but I couldn’t seem to remember it. Not with the ways I’ve let You down. Look at me now, nothing to give but a shameful look away.

And yet You are looking, too. Not away, but straight at me. Your eyes are speaking clearly: 

“Where you see nothing,

I see everything I can love.”

I know more of Your love through this one glance than I have ever known. Even when I hurt You, You never look away. In Your darkest moment and my lowest, Your gaze is on me.

While I’m still denying You,

You’re still turning to find me. 

Your eyes wake me up, and the rooster crows. You said You’d always love me, and it’s true. Here we are as You make Your way to the Cross in my place. 

I pick up my heart again and do everything I can to get my eyes back on You. 

Read:

And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how He had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

Luke 22:54-62

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From the “Healing” chapter, inspired by the Triduum. For more prayers + meditations like this, grab a copy of Detailed Love: Meditations on God’s Intentional Presence, new to the shop.