Faith, Family, and Football . . . In That Order

Remember that bodily exercise, when it is well ordered, as I have said, is also prayer by means of which you can please God our Lord. // Saint Ignatius of Loyola 

When my oldest daughter was in fifth grade, she signed up to play volleyball for her school’s team. The following year, her sister joined her on the volleyball court.

I remember those sweet days of having one or two girls in grade school volleyball, which has the shortest season of any sport. The commitment was low-key, and attending games was a family event, where everyone went to cheer on their sisters.

Little did I know that this would lead to twelve years (and counting) of my six children spending much of their time on volleyball and basketball courts, as well as football and baseball fields.

Sports and Human Flourishing

Yes, my family is very much composed of student athletes, most of whom play more than one sport. It did not happen overnight, but gradually, over time, sports took on an important role in my children’s lives.

Along the way, my husband and I discerned how we wanted sports to shape our children’s lives. We did not want their lives to revolve around sports, yet we noticed the tremendous benefits they brought to the flourishing of our children.

Pope Saint John Paul II stated that “sport contributes to the love of life, [and] teaches sacrifice, respect and responsibility, leading to the full development of every human person” (source). 

And that is exactly what we saw play out in our children’s lives as they participated in sports.

Sports: A Means to Something Greater

As my children began playing on high school teams, the pace of sports intensified. There were more practices and more games, and more commitment was expected of them. At times, sports caused our family life to feel a little too busy. But even during busy seasons, when I zoom out, the positive benefits of my children participating on various teams shine through.

Thankfully, our children’s Catholic school is intentional about balancing sports with other aspects of life. Coaches have the freedom to incorporate Scripture, virtue, and the deeper meaning of sports into the development of their student athletes.

Yes, my children have been blessed by coaches who see sports not as an end but as a means to an end, which is eternal life with Christ in Heaven.

This is echoed in the words of Pope Saint John Paul II in his 1984 address to young athletes. He states:

Sports are not merely the exercise of muscles, but the school of moral values and of training in courage, in perseverance, and in overcoming laziness and carelessness. There is no doubt that these values are of greatest interest for the formation of a personality which considers sports not an end in itself but as a means to total and harmonious physical, moral and social development. (source)

When Sports Come to an End

Thus, playing sports is about more than winning, making it to the championship, or breaking records. And the lessons student athletes learn through sports can remain with them long after their playing time comes to an end.

For in ten or twenty years, what will former student athletes have to show for their years of hard work? While some may go on to play sports at collegiate or professional levels, most will not. But hopefully, all of them will have developed virtues they can apply to all areas of life.

This aspiration is most eloquently conveyed in my son’s high-school football program. The team’s motto is “grateful, tough, devoted,” and the coaches emphasize the importance of living these virtues, not only on the football field, but in every aspect of life. They learn to play, not for themselves, but for the guy next to them. At an end-of-season football banquet, in spite of an undefeated season, the varsity coach noted in his speech that he would not know how truly successful his team was for another ten years. He said their real success will be known when they become men—husbands and fathers—who still live “grateful, tough, devoted” for their families and in their work.

My daughter’s varsity basketball coach expresses a similar message and often reminds his team that one day the basketball will stop dribbling. Then what? More than anything, he wants them to know who they are beyond basketball: who they are in Christ.

Keeping Sports in Their Proper Place

While not all families attend Catholic schools with coaches who live and lead by the Faith, secular teams can also provide amazing opportunities for athletes to grow and flourish. Regardless of what team a child is on, there are important guidelines families can follow to help their children keep a proper ordering of sports.

1. Always prioritize Mass // When playing on traveling teams with weekend commitments, communicate to the coaches that your son or daughter will never miss Sunday Mass for a game. If that means they have to leave early or arrive late, so be it. Most coaches will respect this.
2. Make it a family event // As much as possible, insist that kids attend their siblings’ games. It is a great source of family bonding and strengthening of relationships. If needed, bring a picnic lunch or dinner and snacks.
3. Encourage character building, win or lose // My kids have been on winning teams, and they have been on losing teams. No matter what, we have an ongoing conversation about the virtues developed through athletics, such as “self-control, self-denial, sacrifice and humility, and therefore an attitude of gratefulness to God, who is the giver of every good and therefore also the giver of the necessary physical and intellectual talents” (source).
4. Re-evaluate each season // Review each season and determine what worked and what did not work. If the season was too busy, consider ways to lighten the intensity of the commitment. One time, this meant that my son needed to take a season off. While he was mad at first, he took time to rest and heal, and he was happier (and stronger for the next season) because of it.
5. Bring it to prayer // Above all, entrust your children and their activities to the Lord. Holy Scripture has plenty of inspiration to guide you. Below are five Scripture verses that can pertain to sports.

Scripture Quotes About Sports

“Iron is sharpened by iron; one person sharpens another.” // Proverbs 27:17

“Two are better than one [. . .] If the one falls, the other will help the fallen one.” // Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

“[W]hatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.” // 1 Corinthians 10:31

“[A]n athlete cannot receive the winner’s crown except by competing according to the rules.” // 2 Timothy 2:5

“[A]ll good giving and every perfect gift is from above.” // James 1:17

About Sarah Damm

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Sarah Damm is a regular contributor to the BIS blog. She is a Catholic wife and mother of six children, living in Minnesota. She spends her days running errands, helping with homework, and keeping up with laundry and the family schedule. Sarah loves her faith, coffee, and good books. You can find out more about her here. Read all of Sarah's posts here.