I encountered one of my greatest fears less than one month after taking a thirty-day trust leap into Jesus’ arms.
In my daily life, it had been more and more evident to me that my trust in God was lacking. I feared trusting Him, because I feared disappointment. So I kept hope at arm’s length. This is better, I thought. It seemed better to be realistic so that I could brace for my fall, rather than stumble with no plan on how to best land. I believed I could trust both that God had everything in His hands, and that I was in the best posture to handle whatever He was holding.
In this grasping to control I came upon the book Jesus I Trust In You: A 30-Day Personal Retreat with the Litany of Trust, a personal retreat led by Sister Faustina Maria Pia, S.V. Having been familiar with praying the Litany of Trust, I knew this book wouldn’t disappoint.
Beginning the Retreat
Throughout this month-long retreat, Sister Faustina offers practical tips and helpful invitations to prayer which slowly and consistently strengthen our trust in Jesus.
Day 8
My preparation for the unexpected was to imagine all possible scenarios and consider how I would respond to each result.
On day eight of the retreat Sister writes,“The unexpected arises in all of our lives, but our preparation is trust—just like Joseph and Mary received Jesus on that Christmas night. Can I recognize the immediate next step even if I cannot see the full plans of the future?”
This really put radical trust into perspective for me. Jesus was with Joseph and Mary, yet they still did not know what each year would hold. They didn’t even know where He would be born. But they just kept knocking on doors, hoping for a place of refuge where Mary could deliver her Son. And shortly thereafter, the next step was fleeing to Egypt to escape the Massacre of the Holy Innocents by Herod. Mary and Joseph had plenty of reasons to doubt God’s plan, but they persevered, and they continued trusting, just taking the next right step.
Day 12
“...we too can feel overwhelmed by what God is inviting us to. This is the very place He wants to restore trust in our hearts.”
It is in our vulnerability that we have the opportunity to grow. It’s hard to grow in trust if there is no reason we need it. Sure, we can choose to self-protect in our moments of weakness, but then that is where we stay. There is no hope for growth when we face the next challenge.
Day 15
“Do I have a plan for when discouraging thoughts come my way, either in the midst of temptations or afterward, to reject those lies? A simple phrase, such as ‘I do not consent,’ stops these thoughts from coming into our hearts.”
This simple tip has been transformative. When I start feeling the hot breath of the evil one whispering into my ear, saying the words, “I do not consent,” reclaims my power over the devil through the power of Christ. This prayer gives me the strength to rebuke the devil, casting him back into hell.
Put To The Test
As I neared the end of this retreat I could feel trust building and hope re-emerging.
And then I was brought to my knees, as I lost my new baby to miscarriage.
Day 25
“Situations that bring us to our knees, helpless, press us to seek what true strength is. Is not love at its strongest when, in our moments of deepest need, we allow His life to course through us? [ . . . ] We too can experience ‘it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me’ (Gal 2:20). Trust knows we are as strong as His love.”
Through an experience I had hoped never to have, God’s grace came rushing over me. His grace sustained me, and I felt a peace I didn’t know was possible during such a hard moment.
Because growing in trust had put me in a better posture to receive, I could very tangibly feel Christ’s life coursing through me. Living in me. I know this because I would not have handled it as well on my own. My heart was broken, but sustained.
Day 26
Each day of this retreat seemed to be divinely appointed.
“‘Is my afternoon being taken from me, or will I give it as a gift’—or my future, my plans, my health. Trust frees the heart to live the gift of my life.”
Would I see our child's life as being taken from us? Or would I give him back to the Lord? Would I trust the Lord enough to offer my child back to Him as a gift and trust Him with the future?
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, my thoughts higher than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:9).
Choosing Daily
Through her words, Sister Faustina encourages her readers to trust that God’s ways are higher than our ways. But because life happens, this isn’t always an easy task.
This is why her thirty-day retreat proves so helpful. It is where the Holy Spirit speaks into our lives, giving us the motivation to keep on trusting. Sister Faustina doesn’t sugarcoat hardship and tragedy, but she reframes it in a way that brings life and not defeat.
Jesus wants you to experience this life. Will you trust Him with yours?
Susanna Parent is a regular contributor to the BIS blog, speaker and a freelance writer. While a Wisconsin native, she now begins her mornings brewing French press coffee in the home she shares with her husband and children in the Twin Cities. When the sun sets, you’ll find her with friends enjoying a glass of red wine, preferably outside underneath twinkly lights. When not exploring all that the Twin Cities has to offer, she is indulging her wanderlust spirit by brainstorming their family's next new adventure. You can find out more about her here. Read all of Susanna's posts here.
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