It is not uncommon to wonder what we should do in prayer to be effective. Even Jesus’ closest friends asked Him, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1).
We pray the Rosary, chaplets, litanies, and novenas for specific needs and requests. We pray with Scripture and spend time in Eucharistic Adoration to grow closer to the Lord.
When the outcome of prayer does not meet our expectations, we wonder where we went wrong.
Did we pray the right words? Did we pray enough?
From Doing to Being
We focus so much on talking to God, or getting it right, that we lose sight of God’s part in our conversation with Him.
“Yet only what we ourselves can do in prayer is explained to us; little is explained about what the Lord does in a soul, I mean about the supernatural” (Saint Teresa of Avila, The Interior Castle, dwelling 1, chap. 2, par. 7).
Both Saint Teresa and her counterpart, Saint John of the Cross, recognized that even members of contemplative religious communities can struggle with appreciating God’s part in prayer.
It is precisely for this reason that Father Wayne Sattler invites readers to consider what God does in prayer. In his book And You Will Find Rest, we learn the proper understanding of prayer: not as something we succeed or fail at, but something God patiently accomplishes in us over time, “when what is being experienced is no longer merely the activity of man, but the pure activity of God” (p. 6).
Surrendering My Broken Framework
I’ve often approached prayer the way many of us do—carrying a full heart, a full mind, and an unspoken hope that I’m doing it “right.” Before I read this book, I didn’t realize how much I framed prayer around my own effort: my words, my focus, my faithfulness. Through this book, I also recognized how much of my prayer life has been shaped by an unspoken fear that distraction or dryness meant I was failing. Father Sattler’s reflections, steeped in the wisdom of Saints John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, gently disrupted that framework.
His Way of Rest
Prayer requires us to learn to rest in the Lord, no matter what our circumstances. That is what taking up Jesus’ yoke in order to find rest means. In Father Sattler’s book, he breaks open this Scripture as an entry point to prayer.
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus invites us to “take my yoke upon you and learn from me . . . and you will find rest” (Matthew 11:29). But this rest isn’t without conflict or tension. Rather, it is a rest Jesus extends to those who “labor and are burdened” (Matthew 11:28) and to those who have realized that “in the world you will have trouble” (John 16:33). When we truly enter into this rest, we find “a peace beyond understanding” (Philippians 4:7) from a God Who has “conquered the world” (John 16:33).
However, “we cannot be led into His rest without first making the effort to enter into His yoke” (p. 23).
Father Sattler explains that “a cross and a yoke are basically the same form . . . that places a stronger, experienced animal with a younger, weaker one . . . [T]he brunt of the burden to be hauled is upon the shoulders of the experienced animal so that it might teach the younger one how to move forward together with the load” (p. 54).
Because Jesus knows the cross is coming for all of us in one form or another, He invites us to “take my yoke upon you and learn from me” (Matthew 11:29). With the brunt of the burden on His shoulders, Jesus will lead us forward in a way that “you will find rest for your selves” (Matthew 11: 29).
Communicating With God
This rest, or the experience of contemplation, begins very foundationally through two ways our Lord communicates with the human soul:
- through the senses (sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste)
- through our faculties (will, memory, and intellect)
Through our senses and faculties, the visible points to the invisible. The tangible invites us to set our gaze on the intangible: “The bells draw our attention to God, and the smell of incense makes us aware that we are in our Father’s house” (p. 21).
Even so, often the world around us—our sins, our traumas, our broken relationships—can distort our senses and faculties, preventing us from experiencing the movements of God in a pure way.
Thus, we must surrender to the process of purification, which readies us for a true encounter with God. Active purification relies on our own efforts, while passive purification is guided by the hand of God.
Denying ourselves, or active purification, may not sound like the doorway to resting in the Lord through contemplative prayer, but we cannot be Jesus’ friend or disciple without sacrificing and suffering.
“The only attractive feature of the cross is the relationship to Jesus” (A Monk, The Hermitage Within, p. 79).
As we enter more deeply into rest, or relationship, with God, we also grow in the way in which we communicate with Him.
Vocal prayer is the beginning of our encounter with God, while meditation is our initial effort to listen to Him. According to Saint Teresa of Avila, “mental prayer . . . is nothing else than an intimate sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with Him who we know loves us” (The Book of Her Life, chap. 8, par. 5). Finally, contemplation is the pure activity of God in prayer.
Learning From the Masters
After Father Sattler lays a foundation for prayer, the second half of the book includes extensive excerpts from Saint Teresa’s Interior Castle and Saint John of the Cross’ Dark Night of the Soul.
Here, consolation and desolation are introduced as ways to understand the movements of God, while the true dark night of the soul “comes when His light begins to shine upon my soul to purify my heart at a level I cannot do on my own” (p. 154). Yes, “the dark night is the activity of God drawing a beginner deeper into prayer through the path of purification” (p. 155).
Affirming, Correcting My Prayer Life
And You Will Find Rest did not give me more words to say in prayer, nor did it teach me new methods. However, it both affirmed and gently corrected my existing prayer life, giving me space to trust that God is already at work.
Through this book, I realized that dryness is okay, and distractions are places of encounter rather than failure. And when I let go of striving in prayer, I give God space to do His will in my heart.
Sarah Damm is the blog manager and a writer for Blessed Is She. She also is a frequent contributor to other faith-based platforms. Residing in Minnesota with her husband and six children, Sarah was a stay-at-home mom for 21 years, until she returned to the workforce in 2023. Sarah enjoys attending her kids' volleyball, football, basketball, or baseball games (depending on the season). She loves her faith, coffee, walks with her husband, and good books. Read Sarah's posts here. You can find out more about her here.
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