I could not see the light. My days were like one long darkness. I was deeply injured by one whom I loved very much. He offered no explanation and I sought in vain to understand the situation. I sought to forgive. To forgive him, to forgive myself. I repeated prayers of forgiveness over and over, but never felt it. My days were difficult searching for answers and finding none. My heart felt unable to love, to feel vulnerable once again.
I reached out to Him. It felt as if I might be abandoned by Him too. I was blind to the work He was doing in my soul. It was a great struggle to sense His presence at all. The horizontal relationships we have certainly can seem a reflection of the vertical relationship to the Divine. But in my intellect, I knew, somehow, that He was still beside me.
Some days I wanted to let Him go, to lose faith in His promises. But He kept me tethered by a glimmer of hope; He did not let me go.
I waited for Him.
I waited for His healing.
I longed for His embrace.
He did not disappoint.
There are dark places in this life. Perhaps for an hour, perhaps a day, perhaps a year, perhaps a season. God calls us to wait, to be patient. He is there on the sidelines, ready to fill you with His saving grace.
But why not right this moment, Lord? I need You!
Maybe you are not ready. We are stretched and strengthened in adversity. He is molding you, but you are not ready for the kiln (even if you feel like you are in it).
He says to you, “Be strong, and let your heart take courage.”
Cry out to Him, “You are ‘the stronghold of my life.’ I ‘wait for the Lord.’ I long ‘to behold the beauty of the LORD,’ to ‘see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!’”
Wait for His saving grace. Find strength in His holy promises. Take courage that He will see you through whatever hardship you are enduring at this moment. Continue to reach out to Him.
Where in your life is the Lord calling on you to wait for Him? Ask for the grace you need to persevere.
Laurel Muff is a creator and appreciator of beautiful things. She resides with her husband and daughters in Northern California. You can find more about her here.