My gas light blinks on, and I sigh internally. It’s been a tight month. Shuttling my two children and their grandparents back from Mass during a family visit while my husband is away on a work trip, I re-map my mental GPS to hit the closest gas station to my parent’s house.
As I pull in, I realize that I won't be the one paying for this fill up. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my dad will pay. It wasn’t a set-up to take advantage of his generosity, but I’m filled with gratitude knowing this is one hit our budget won’t have to take.
Accepting His Generosity
Sure enough, before the car is even in park, Dad is out the door saying, “I got it.” As I lean comfortably back in the driver’s seat, my mom sings her grandma tunes to my little ones in the back. Even as a full-fledged adult, with two car seats and another baby on the way, I remain a child in a position of receptivity and gratitude to my dad.
In my moment of need, I knew my dad would provide without me even needing to ask. I was fully confident in how he would respond. All I had to do was pull into the gas station, and in my moment of emptiness, I knew he would fill me up.
But it made me ponder: Is this how I approach my Heavenly Father? Do I have this same trust and confidence in Him?
How is My Tank Empty Right Now?
I hit empty frequently. I am exhausted, over-stimulated, and at my wit’s end. Life has its struggles, its sufferings, its crosses, and its heartaches. And I have learned to cope in both good and bad ways. Often, I turn to the wrong things to cope: scrolling to distract myself, numbing myself with food, or gossiping to make myself feel temporarily better. But on better days, I choose talking to a close friend or my husband, going on a run to work out my anger, or taking a quiet bath to decompress at the end of the day.
But do I turn to these things, expecting more of them than they can give me? Do I expect them to fix my problems? Do I become frustrated when they inevitably don’t? Because they can’t.
The Gas That Satisfies
Our hearts are made for union with the Lord, and nothing else will ever come close to providing the fulfillment and satisfaction that only He can offer. Other things may provide temporary relief or pleasure, but the ache will always return. Only He fully satisfies. Only He can truly fill our emptiness.
And so we’re invited to communicate with God through prayer, which is the only gas that will actually fill our tanks and help us keep going in life.
But do I trust that God will see me in my moments of emptiness? Do I believe that He will anticipate my every need and provide even if it’s not exactly what I want? Am I confident that He cares for me and wants to provide for me? Do I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He will not hesitate to fill up my tank without even being asked?
Letting God Fill Our Tanks
I struggle to trust and to believe in God’s good desire to care for me. I fall prey to the lies of Satan. From the beginning of time, that has been our adversary’s greatest tactic: to make us doubt our Father’s loving goodness toward us. Satan wants us to think God is holding out on us, that He doesn’t have our best interest at heart, that He doesn’t really love us.
But oh, my friend, He does!
While my earthly father has served as a model of my heavenly Father, even his provision pales in comparison to the good gifts that God wants to give me. He wants to help level bumps along my road. He wants to be with me in my embarrassing and broken moments. He wants to serve me. He wants to provide for me. He wants to fill me up.
He wants to love me.
He wants me.
And He wants me to want Him in return.
My friend, God wants to fill you up too. So, I encourage you to pull into the gas station with Him. You don’t need to feel embarrassed or ashamed. He knows where you are broken and empty already. Let Him surprise you with His generosity and provision and love.
Let Him be the one to fill your tank.
Mary Grace "Gracie" Muraski is a graduate of Franciscan University of Steubenville with a degree in theology and catechetics. She now serves as a full-time stay at home wife and mom to three adventurous boys. With a family in ministry, she is blessed to split her time between small town Ohio and big mountains Colorado. She is passionate about reading, writing, long-distance running, and intentional conversation.
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