Perhaps the most fitting snapshot to begin a conversation on Saint John, the “beloved disciple,” is by looking at the first and last sentences of his Gospel account:
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (John 1:1).
“There are many more things that Jesus did. If all of them were written down, I suppose that not even the world itself would have space for the books that would be written” (John 21:25)
If it wasn’t clear then, it is now: John’s mission to spread the Gospel was intimately linked with words. After years of traveling with Jesus, and bearing witness to numerous miracles and pivotal moments in Jesus’ ministry, John committed the rest of his life to spreading the word about Who Jesus is and what He had done. In total, John wrote five books of the Bible: the Gospel of John, three Epistles (1, 2, and 3 John), as well as Revelation.
More than his ministry, John’s whole identity was marked in a particular way by the many events to which Jesus invited him to bear witness. He was with Jesus as He performed miracles, at the Transfiguration, with his head on Jesus’ chest at the Last Supper, and in prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane. It was John and Simon to whom Mary Magdalene ran with the news of the empty tomb. Ultimately, John had the honor of caring for and being cared for by Mary as her son.
John was present for many substantial events in Jesus’ earthly life.
It is not uncommon for someone who has experienced something of magnitude, good or bad, to identify closely with those who were with them through that experience. Soldiers in war, survivors of natural disasters, and people who witnessed something miraculous all share in common a particular kind of intimacy to which others may not be able to relate. So it seems with Jesus and John.
One thing that is unique about John is that he often identifies himself as the “beloved disciple.” Sometimes this can give us pause. After all, why does Jesus love John more than others? I wonder if it has less to do with who is best loved by the Lord, and how the love of the Lord affected John’s understanding of himself.
John’s proximity to Jesus defined him.
It seems that John could not, or did not desire to identify himself apart from the One who loved him. Knowing what it was to be a close friend of Jesus, to have experienced the glimpses of God through Jesus’ miracles and teachings, permanently changed him. Rather than identify as John the disciple, he identifies as the one who is loved by God. And so we all are.
In the same way, we can invite Jesus’ proximity to define us.
We will not experience the call to follow Jesus in the same way that John did. And, we remember that the Lord is ever present to us through the Holy Spirit, the Scriptures, the Christian community, the Eucharist, and through our service to “one of these least brothers” (Matthew 25:40). Emmanuel, ‘God with Us,’ offers the same nearness to us and, like John, we cannot help but be changed.
What experience of God’s nearness has defined you?