Feeding the Flames of Love

Jesus said to him, "Feed my lambs." // John 21:15 

(Gospel from the Optional Memorial of Pope Saint John XXIII) 

“The Body of—” 

The priest stopped abruptly as I sank to my knees to receive Holy Communion in my usual posture. He repeated the preparatory words, and, after responding “Amen,” I tilted back my head and opened my mouth wide. With a grimace, Father retreated his hand back and then all but tossed the Sacred Host onto my extended tongue.   

Surprised by his reaction, I tried to enter into prayer as I walked back to my pew. 

Receiving on the tongue was a devotion I had begun one year before during Lent. In those forty days, my deepened prayer and intimacy with Jesus sparked an enduring desire and conviction to continue. I was grateful for the Lord’s invitation to encounter Him in this traditional way of receiving the Blessed Sacrament.  

And so, in my love and desire for the Bread of Life, I kept coming back to the table where this priest served, asking to be fed. Yet the more I opened my mouth and my heart to this shepherd of the Church, the more I felt the grace of Christ working within the Sacrament to feed both of us with His love.  

In the Gospel for today’s Memorial of Pope Saint John XXIII, Jesus asks Saint Peter to profess his love three times. Ultimately, Peter’s imperfect love is enough, and Jesus entrusts him with feeding and tending the flock (see John 21:15-17). Similarly, in my kneeling before Father at Mass, I was inviting Him to love and tend to Christ’s sheep by distributing the Eucharist in a way that would tend to my heart and possibly help him to grow in Christ’s own love for the Church.  

The third time I knelt to receive, I was struck by a noticeable openness and comfort in Father’s attitude. And the fourth time? He smiled briefly at me after Mass.  

Sister, where do you need to share the Good Shepherd’s love today? Or how can you invite someone to give their own declaration of love? In the words of Pope Saint John XXIII, “Sweet Heart of my Jesus, make [us] love You more and more” (source).