When I first encountered the Catholic Church, I was blessed to be welcomed into a community of young women living their faith with vivacity and energy. As a secular feminist, I was initially opposed to the Church’s teachings on gender. However, the simple joy with which my friends lived their Catholic femininity convinced me that embracing gender is not a matter of an oppressive list of rules, but simply rejoicing with Christ in the way that He designed our hearts, minds, and bodies. Still, I remained at odds with the virtue of modesty. I dismissed it as a dictatorial tradition that was disrespectful to women’s freedom. And wearing a veil to Mass—wasn’t that for people who were stuck in the Middle Ages? A Healing of Heart, a Change of Life In the meantime, I struggled to overcome dispositions from my pre-conversion life. Especially the damage to my heart from relationships with men who were not of God. The way they treated me taught me that I only had value to them if my body, appearance, behavior, and personality were what they wanted. Conditional love teaches us that we are not enough and that we must commodify ourselves—and bargain away pieces of our bodies and hearts—in order to be loved. In Need of Love The feminine heart, the heart that longs to be sought, pursued, treasured, and uniquely appreciated, is fulfilled by unconditional Love, a Love that chooses and appreciates us as we are. The Enemy tells us that we will never be loved in this way. It isn’t possible that we can be chosen and appreciated for who we truly are. The feminine heart breaks when it is pierced by this lie. Mine remained broken for a long time. In the most unexpected way, Christ began to assure me of the depth of His affirming love through the virtue of modesty. Modesty, I found, is the natural expression of the radical assurance that we as women are perfectly and unconditionally valued. God knows us completely and delights in us completely. Holding nothing back, Christ shows us that He wants to be with us totally by giving us His whole self in the Eucharist. Instead of being content with pieces of us, He desires us for Himself totally. Modesty and the Feminine Heart Even though I had found the unconditional love that the feminine heart longs for through practicing modesty, I was blessed to learn how to respond to it as well. When we abstain from revealing clothing and overly-flirtatious behaviour, it signifies that we no longer offer pieces of our bodies and hearts to others in exchange for momentary appreciation. Instead, we offer our feminine hearts first and foremost back to God. By paying the ultimate price, the Lover of our souls showed us that infinitely valuable to Him. Modesty is a joyful sign to God that we accept His definition and purpose for our personhood. We allow Him to define our value. Veiling: Not So Middle Ages I was surprised to learn to love the virtue of modesty. But I was shocked to be drawn to the practice of veiling. It is important to be clear that, following Vatican II, veiling is not a compulsion: it is a personal devotion. While some are called to express their feminine love for Christ in this way, it is not for everyone. I found myself attracted to veiling when I began to say "yes" to Christ’s healing love for my broken romantic desires. Both women marrying and religious sisters wear veils to express their heavenly marriage to Christ. I knew that this tradition was an unmistakable way to show that my heart belongs to Christ before anyone else. A Future Full of Hope When I am tempted to give in to discouragement and believe that I am defined by my past, practicing modesty teaches me again that my femininity has been redeemed. My heart is entrusted to the most perfect Lover. My vibrant community is made up of women who celebrate Mass with dresses and veils, and equally devout women who wear pantsuits. Regardless of how we dress, our femininity is a gift to the world. It teaches us how deeply Christ wants to satisfy our hearts. However you are called to live your femininity, I hope my journey towards accepting His unconditional love reminds you that He delights in you as well. How has modesty affected your heart and life? [bctt tweet="Modesty: Healing the Wounds of Conditional Love #BISblog //" via="no"] Kathleen Mawhinney is from Prince Edward Island, Canada, where she studies nursing by day and theology by night. She was received into the Church one year ago.

I recently went on a grand and life-changing adventure/pilgrimage/trip to Spain. I set out with the intention to read and reflect on St. Teresa of Avila, but by the end of the trip I was overwhelmed by not only a closeness to her, but to so many other Saints who have walked that path before me. I felt their prayers in a profound way. The Cathedrals of Spain The Salamanca Cathedral The first cathedral we visited was the Salamanca Cathedral. It carries within its stone walls 1000+ years of people's prayers. It's cold, slightly cracked and broken, the stained glass fading and warping. But I like it that way. It adds to the reality that this place has been lived in and is bound by time but God is not. I'm in awe of the ancient, deteriorated purity and un-whole holiness of the cathedral. Proof of 1,000 years of stories and lives lived. Spain's history seeps and crumbles from its walls. I touched time, I became a tiny part of the history that Salamanca captures. The flying buttresses spearing the delicate blue sky. The green ancient trees extending their branches as if imitating the flying buttresses. The cobblestone, the marble, the brick so perfectly chiseled. And just outside the city, the Spanish countryside yawns in all of its soft, silky wilderness. The slower pace of Salamanca, a small city with a past. The Toledo Cathedral Toledo was another favorite of mine. The Cathedral held the real deal handwritten manuscripts of St. Teresa of Avila's books, including Interior Castle and The Way of Perfection. It was moving to see the messy handwriting and recognizable passion. The dark ink and fervent scratches reflect the desire in her heart for holiness, both hers and her fellow Christians’. St. Teresa of Avila and Her Time St. Teresa was living in an age of great change and turmoil, which is reflected in her writing. She was born in 1515 Spain—the century in which Spain becomes one of the greatest powers on Earth. She grew up during a time when Columbus discovered the new world, the Reformation/Counter-Reformation took place, and at the tail end of the Spanish Inquisition. I can only imagine the questions running through her mind. What does it mean to be a Christian? What is the true Body of Christ? Who is Christ? Is God a violent God? What does He think of His people right now? We too live in an age of contradiction and calamity, of violence and vanity, of hatred and homelessness (physically and spiritually). We take refuge in God, knowing that we are not called to fix every problem, but that we are called to love and allow the Holy Spirit to work and breathe in us. And for Him to do that, we must surrender the parts of us that are still clinging to worliness, to false comfort. Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices. -St. Teresa of Avila La Sagrada Familia Barcelona was the last Spanish city we visited. The life and rapture of soul and sight I felt at La Sagrada Familia was uncapturable, really. The way the light poured in out of every crevice, the way the music held me, and the love and passion poured into that basilica gave me such peace and pleasure and joy. This massive work of art that people come from all over the world to encounter—the Spirit is waiting and longing for them there. All the colors of the rainbow danced and played with my tired body—the ethereal light spilling onto the floor, color blanketing me. The simplicity of an artist with a vision became this beautiful basilica where hearts are continuously moved. I admire Gaudi and his architecture, and I can't help but feel joyful knowing that the same Spirit who moved Gaudi to envision and create and dream up this marvelous place is the same Spirit that moves in me to create and dream as well. The same Spirit that inspires in us a love of color and life. Dear artists, you well know that there are many impulses which, either from within or from without, can inspire your talent. Every genuine inspiration, however, contains some tremor of that ‘breath’ with which the Creator Spirit suffused the work of creation from the very beginning. Overseeing the mysterious laws governing the universe, the divine breath of the Creator Spirit reaches out to human genius and stirs its creative power. -Pope John Paul II in his letter to artists, 1999 Traveling to Holy Sites Inspires Our Own Holiness How incredible to have the Saints and angels on our side and to be recipients of their prayers without us knowing or asking for it! The unseen is the most real. The mystery and miracles of our Faith call us into a contemplative way of life and to accept the uncertain. This trip has shown me the reality of grace. It is laced into the fabric of my days. It is growing with me and in me. The prayers of the Saints and those we love weave grace deeper into our hearts and beings. Grace is who I am, what defines me and leads me on. It is what allows me to love, to sing praises, to travel, to write, to pray, to heal, to breathe, to be. Let us never stop longing for wonder. Life is calling us by name. The feeling remains that God is on the journey, too. -St. Teresa of Avila Have you recently traveled to a holy site? What was your experience like? [bctt tweet="St. Teresa of Avila and the Cathedrals of Spain #BISblog //" via="no"] Written by Cassidy K. Find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. // Matthew 15:13 Yikes, I think to myself. Is that what it is You've been doing? Everything that the Lord hasn't planted in me will be uprooted. And uprooting seems kind of intense -- disruptive, messy, painful. In the past few years, there have been unplantings, uprootings. He uprooted certain people in my life who were poisonous to my character and my life with Christ, He uprooted pride when I stopped giving Him the glory and praise, He uprooted my self-reliance and reminded me that He saves and He rescues. And yes, it's been messy. And yes, it's disruptive. And yes, oftentimes, it's painful. But in the uprooting of these parts of me, the Lord gave me fresh soil. In the uprooting, He made me new. So as scary, as painful, as messy as the uprooting is, I know I have a home in the Lord's field. He is tilling the hard and dry soil, and I am being watered, refreshed, and given light by Him. It is no longer the Jenna Guizar Show where I plant myself (or control things in my life, or sit in fear for what's to come, or try to be successful by my own merits), I am now His. Every part of me that I planted there myself by my own sin or my own desires or my own works, He has uprooted. And I am made new. He is uprooting you, too. Where is it happening? Pay attention to it. Where is He making you new? Let Him. Let Him till the dryness, let Him give you fresh soil, new food, new light. Let Him restore your dark crevices and your calloused heart. Let Him pull up the parts of you that need uprooting, and let Him pour mercy on your weary soul. The uprooting is usually messy, but that's okay. The Lord doesn't mind the mess. He revels in our being made whole. Let Him make you whole. Let Him till you in His field. Let Him uproot you so you can be made new. Download and share these beautiful wallpapers from Erica of Be a Heart. Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper Jenna Guizar is a wife and mama in sunny AZ. She pretends to love football for her husband, reads lots of books to her daughters, and tries not to burn mac n cheese on the daily. In between tweeting, reading books, and [not] burning mac n cheese, she is the Founder + Creative Director of Blessed is She women’s ministry + community. Find out more about her here.

It is like I was born again in the slowness of that hospital room. It was easy to be mindful and open and feel since the feelings were overwhelming and could easily swallow me up. Of late, away from crisis, as work increases and volunteer opportunities arise revealing to me the tribe to which I belong, I learned about Dr. Bottaro’s book. I first thought, “I write about that all the time, this could be helpful for my writing.” Then, second and more sheepishly, “I probably need that.” It is a self-help book, a how-to book in the practice of mindfulness, non-judgmental awareness of the present moment. My life is no longer the slow-pace waiting for my baby to wake up, but a wide array of choices I can make. Coming to Chapter Four, “Telling Ourselves Stories,” I felt he was speaking to me. It feels like time and schedules drag me along, especially on the weekends. Overwhelmed, my life feels cluttered and fractured and never quite enough. What am I missing? Prayer and attendance to the present moment. But Is It Really Catholic? I think The Mindful Catholic may be one of the best non-fiction books I have read. The theology is sound and used to a purpose. For those Christians uncomfortable with now-common practices that have their origin in Eastern spirituality, Bottaro astutely defends a unique Christian tradition behind the mindfulness practice. The introduction, a little longer than expected, lays an important foundation to introduce the reader to mindfulness. “Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment, God is the present moment. He defined himself as ‘I am who am.’ God sees all as a present moment, and it is our goal to see as he sees.” Dr. Gregory Botarro earned his degree at the Institute for the Psychological Sciences, now Divine Mercy University, where I also studied. DMU approaches psychology in a revolutionary way, integrating theology, philosophy, and psychology, bringing in professors who are experts in their fields. Bottaro utilizes the Catholic-Christian Meta-Model of the Person (CCMMP). This approach is the foundation and strengthens everything he has to say. What I Thought of The Mindful Catholic Like a good psychologist and therapist, Bottaro provides clear and concise summaries, in the beginning, of what we will learn, and as the chapters roll on, periodically of what we have learned. I like this technique as it grounds the learning process. The author introduces himself and his credentials to the reader. Throughout the book, we gradually learn who Bottaro is, some of his habits (he hates traffic), about his wife’s labor and delivery (she is amazing), and in (my opinion) the best chapter on acceptance, about the tragic circumstances this young professional faced in his family. He makes it clear he practices (and needs) this thing of mindfulness he preaches. There are certain analogies and explanations therapists will use again and again. I feel Bottaro is walking us down a well-worn path, one he knows well. His examples are clear. His analogies accomplish their goal of illustrating points in a thorough way. Bottaro does not waste words. I do not want an author to be my buddy. I bristle a little when writers refer to me as “friend” because it takes a lot to earn my trust as friend. An author should teach me something. How to Be Mindful of God in the Present Moment The practices begin in the traditional exercises of mindfulness and then develop into something wholly unique bringing in the core concept of mercy while staying true to the parameters of the psychological process. It is written from a Catholic perspective, but not a book about Catholicism. In every chapter, Bottaro lays the foundation with Catholic thought. He identifies obstacles that may arise and lends a hand to the reader to approach those obstacles, offering them a better way than the one our defenses may have formed. He wisely repeats concepts again and again. Throughout the day, I catch myself calling me back to the present moment with my children, “doing versus being,” I say inside myself. And I look at them and attend to them in the way in which I have fallen short of late. Mindfulness in the Big Moments When Bottaro comes to Chapter Five, “Acceptance,” his writing comes alive. The previous personal anecdotes might have been removed without too much impact, but as he tells the story of his mother’s death, Bottaro begins to write with passion and exhortation. He describes acceptance and you know he has felt it. I have felt it, too. “The path of acceptance is the one you walk with peace, but peace does not mean the alleviation of suffering…" “This awareness will certainly take in painful realities, but it will also keep you open to seeing the deep beauty that lies inherently in all of life.” Bottaro wisely visits the importance of mindfulness in natural childbirth. Even though it holds brief focus, a book on mindfulness would be incomplete without it. As soon as I finished The Mindful Catholic, I wanted to pick it up again and dive deeper. I picked up this book for its usefulness to my profession but found in it a treasure for my heart. My plan is, now, to go back through it and practice the exercises after each chapter. I whole-heartedly recommend this book. Have you read this book? What are your thoughts? Further Reading from Dr. Bottaro! If you loved The Mindful Catholic, you'll want to check out the newest book from Dr. Bottaro and his wife, Barbra, called Sitting Like a Saint. In a busy world, we’re all looking for things that can make our lives simpler and less stressful. Mindfulness is a scientifically proven way to do it. In this new book, the Bottaro's offer easy tips and tricks, and introduce you and the kids to some of the great Saints of the Catholic Faith, helping your children to not only use mindfulness to enhance learning at school and at home, but become happier while doing it. [bctt tweet="The Mindful Catholic Review: Mindful in an Authentically Catholic Way #BISblog //" via="no"] Kathryn Anne Casey is a graduate of Divine Mercy University, freelance writer, housewife, and mother of four children. Her weekly newspaper column "Here's to the Good Life!" and blog focus on art, psychology, consumerism and the importance of local community. Find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

I think that I shall never see A poem lovely as a tree. A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed Against the earth's sweet flowing breast; A tree that looks at God all day, And lifts her leafy arms to pray; A tree that may in summer wear A nest of robins in her hair; Upon whose bosom snow has lain; Who intimately lives with rain. Poems are made by fools like me, But only God can make a tree. -Joyce Kilmer Reflect I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that everywhere, wherever you may be, the least plant may bring to you the clear remembrance of the Creator. A single plant, a blade of grass, or one speck of dust is sufficient to occupy all your intelligence in beholding the art with which it has been made. St. Basil [bctt tweet="I want creation to penetrate you with so much admiration that...the least plant may bring to you the clear remembrance of the Creator. -St. Basil #BISrests" username="@to_the_heights"] Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. I recommend praying with "My Father's World" by Gungor. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Trees + Dust #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Olivia Spears. You can find out more about her here.

Surrender is like giving up but with lipstick on. And it’s that lipstick that makes all the difference. I’ve always been a lipstick gal. I remember as a teenager my mom took us to the Florida Keys for vacation. I brought a container full of lipsticks lined up neatly with their labels facing outward, so I could read their colorful names. Who cares what you look like in a bathing suit when you’re wearing Tiki Torch on your lips? My mom was mad at me on that trip for something silly—like climbing out of my bedroom window in the middle of the night—and it was that container of lipstick that got us talking again. It gave us a neutral pallet to start a conversation that wasn’t tinted with admonishments or streaks of rebellion. Life is Not in Our Control When I was a teenager, everything felt out of control, nothing like the rainbow of lipsticks arranged tidily in their box. I’d like to blame my hormones, my parent’s divorce, algebra, and the clueless boys I had crushes on. But the reality turned out to be that so much of life is out of our control. I know that is not motivating or inspiring or what anyone with their life mapped out on an Excel spreadsheet wants to hear. And it doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have goals, plans, or a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I’ve just learned that there are many things I have to surrender. Letting Go in the Midst of Sorrow Nowhere has this been more evident than with my relationship with God. For years, I questioned His reasons, timing, and tragedies. For a while, I lost myself in the void of questioning, especially as it pertained to suffering. In a maze of how and why, I was trapped trying to solve an impossible riddle of humanity’s sorrow. There wasn’t a lipstick in the world bright enough to cover the darkest parts of tragedy. And it never stopped. Everyone had a sad story. Everyone’s life took a detour. Everyone had to change their plans, readjust, and revamp. Turns out, that’s life. Not the neat, tidy lives we plan but the one’s we make the best of when things inevitably go wayward. Surrendering to God Learning to surrender, to accept what is instead of wrangling with why, has made such a difference in my life. Giving up sounds lame, defeatist, and demoralizing. Because giving up means quitting. As tempting as this may be sometimes, I don’t think it’s what God wants from us. He wants surrender. While I would like to say that I chose that on my own simply because He asked, the reality is that there wasn’t a better choice. I could either stay in that maze running into the same questions over and over, give up and stay in bed with my cats (which was a little a bit tempting), or surrender entirely to a God who I know is good and the source of all that is love. It doesn’t matter that I don’t understand His ways, timings, and life’s terrible tragedies. His ways are higher than mine and by far holier. To me, there was only one choice. Surrendering Vs. Giving Up By His grace, I learned to surrender. I learned that when I surrender, I am not defeated, but free. Like a good lipstick, it makes me feel better. I can let disappointments define me and wear myself out with worry, or I can give my problems to God and let Him guide me. Giving up makes me feel like a victim. Surrendering allows me to be victorious through Him. [bctt tweet="Giving up makes me feel like a victim. Surrendering allows me to be victorious through Him. #BISblog //" via="no"] It has become a coping mechanism, a balm for my busy mind, an answer to unsolvable problems and impossible situations. Still, it isn’t always easy. Sometimes I go to Him with the same struggle over and over. Not because He won’t take it, but because I haven’t really let it go. Unlike giving up, surrendering takes strength. It doesn’t take us down. It lifts us. Through prayer God gives me the courage to trust, to rest, and to know peace. My problems don’t dissipate, but my anxieties do. Through surrender, I find that—like my teenage years when so much felt out of control, unplanned, and just plain hard—I persevere despite the mishaps. The only thing I gave up was questioning. Surrendering means that even when life feels dark, a kaleidoscope of color awaits. Foraging a new path, trusting in His will, and resting in His mercy, just like a good lipstick, makes everything beautiful. [bctt tweet="Surrendering with Lipstick On #BISblog //" via="no"] Lara Patangan is a freelance writer and mother of two boys. She is currently working on publishing her first book about her mid-life mission to do works of mercy. Find out more about her here.

All my life, I’ve been a restless soul—a wayfarer, so to speak—always seeking the next adventure or following the trail of excitement. Yet another side of me pined for peace with a hunger that surpassed the need for pomp and frills. That longing has grown more intense as I age, particularly as I care for our three young daughters. It’s a vocation that often leaves me with spaghetti brain rather than a heart nestled in tranquility. For most of us, peace seems elusive and impossible to attain. We all know we need more of it. Maybe we’re vaguely familiar with the reality that peace is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (see Galatians 5:22). But the reality of this fast-paced life we all share in our modern world has left us spiritually bereft and wishing for the days of old—life before the explosion of technology, for quiet, for basic necessities. Peace is a Gift Sometimes peace comes in the form of pure, unadulterated gift, the gift of unexpected grace from God. There was one moment in my life I’ll never forget when this happened to me. I was sitting in the surgical waiting room at the children’s hospital where my infant daughter was undergoing major skull reconstruction. My husband clacked away on his computer. A welcome distraction, I’m sure. But I sat there for a few moments, just processing the split second I let Sarah go into the care of the surgical team and watched them wheel her away on the gurney. I knew what they were going to—cut her skull open and attach a distraction device that would expand her prematurely fused skull to make room for her brain—but I also knew the risk that we’d lose her at only six months old. It seemed merciless that an infant would be stripped of her innocence so soon, that she would experience bodily pain at such a terribly young age. And in those brief moments of pause and reflection, I noticed something very strange: I was at peace. This is remarkable, considering that I am, and always have been, ensnared by all sorts of fears and anxieties and worries. My heart was seldom at rest, so I noticed when it was that day. And the peace never left me, not the entire duration of her surgery. Despite the fact that I had no control over the outcome and didn’t know exactly what was going on, my soul was encased in the peace that surpasses all human understanding. The Holy Spirit Moves Until that moment, I never really knew that peace could be, in fact, an extraordinary grace from God. I believed it happened, just not to me. But the fact that the Holy Spirit moved in my soul that day and gave me a part of His nature was never lost upon me. Maybe you can think back on a time in your life when you experienced this type of peace and knew with certainty that it didn’t originate from you. Maybe you are going to receive this gift one day when you need it most. No matter, have confidence that God will never permit you to endure the darkest trials without the consolation of His Spirit in some form or fashion. Trust in Him, and He will act. Peace is a Fruit As one of the nine spiritual fruits of the Holy Spirit, peace is the one most of us lack this day and age. Not long ago, I was driving Sarah to one of her myriad doctor’s appointments, and it was a fine day—cloudless blue sky and bright sunshine, which is unusual in northern Indiana. I was taking my time on the road, allowing plenty of wiggle room for us to arrive at our destination without the need to rush and potentially have an accident. But the driver behind me was clearly agitated. I glanced at him from my rearview mirror and shifted in my seat. He honked at me the instant the light turned green, then rode my tail with vehemence. I silently prayed. Peace in this circumstance is a result, or fruit, when we strive for virtue. It means we can acquire it with human effort over time. By practicing patience in this situation and entrusting our safety to God’s protection, my soul was not disturbed. Peace Strengthens Us Tranquility of soul is the antidote to anger and harshness. It seems to me that anger is the spirit of the world these days, with so much strife, division, and self-destruction. But peace, as both gift and fruit, actually brings incredible mental clarity so that we are able to speak respectfully, make decisions with right discernment, and notice the little things all around us that are God’s whispers of love. [bctt tweet="Tranquility of soul is the antidote to anger and harshness. #BISblog //" via="no"] Peace is not elusive. It is gratuitous evidence of God’s unfailing love and mercy for us. For our part, if we slow down, sit down, and eliminate noisy distractions on a daily basis, the peace of the Holy Spirit will gradually settle upon our souls. Over time, it will become a gentle presence that gives us strength and courage to live with intention and purpose. [bctt tweet="Peace that Liberates the Soul #BISblog //" via="no"] Jeannie Ewing is a Catholic spirituality writer who focuses on grief, redemptive suffering, and waiting. Find out more about her here.

It took a lot of effort: late night studies, hours spent writing, and a last minute scramble to sew up the hole I burned in my gown, but I finally did it. I crossed the stage and graduated from college. Many of my Blessed is She sisters just completed the same accomplishment. Congrats, ladies! I want to write to you—all of my sisters in the middle of this new adventure—because with all the change, it can be difficult to hear God’s voice. I know it was for me when I graduated a year and a half ago. A Major Life Change It was a big change for me to go from being heavily involved in my Catholic campus center to working every weekday from 9-5. During college, I would frequent daily Mass, lead a women’s Bible study, and have almost daily conversations with the chaplain of the center. When I started working full time, attending daily Mass was much more difficult and my habits of prayer were thrown off kilter. I was also the only woman at my job, so female fellowship took a nosedive. All theses changes discouraged me because I no longer met the standards I had set for myself. For months I wallowed in desolation. But I eventually came to realize that different states in life require different responses to the Lord. This was humbling, but also relieving. I knew in my head that my spiritual life would change, but I struggled to accept it or give myself permission to change. I was attached to the image of who I wanted to be instead of allowing God to mold me. But, lo and behold, my life is much better than the image I concocted in my head. [bctt tweet="Different states in life require different responses to the Lord. #BISblog //" via="no"] How to Stay Centered on Christ During the Post-College Transition So how can we stay centered in our spiritual life, while allowing God to take us in new directions? I suggest we focus on a few key areas of our faith life and give ourselves flexibility within those areas to adapt them to our needs, personality, and state in life. Below are my practical suggestions for three key areas: formation fellowship prayer 1. Formation How are you going to continue to learn about the Faith? What resources are available to you? It might be time to get creative. During college, my formation came from the Catholic center’s events. Once I graduated, I got into a medium of formation I never used before: podcasts. Podcasts are super accessible for nearly everyone, no matter your job or state in life. If you need somewhere to start, try these awesome Catholic podcasts. If podcasts aren’t your cup of tea, seek something else. Look for opportunities at your parish, read a book on a Catholic subject you are interested in, or teach catechism in your parish youth program. I guarantee you’ll learn more about our Faith as you try to teach it! 2. Community How have the dynamics of old relationships changed? What new relationships have been placed in your life? What relationships are worth fostering? This is one of the hardest aspects of any transition. We’ve come to love and trust the people around us, and suddenly we struggle to keep in contact. We have to fight against feelings of missing out when our friends get together without us or when we see a close friend grow in intimacy with someone else. Even though I did not move away from my college town, I experienced these things. I still struggle with them. However, I have also experienced the good in these relationship changes. I committed to a new tradition with an old friend. Our goal was always to get together once a week, but at times it was difficult. We finally settled on Wednesday dinners, which depending on my schedule, were sometimes only 30 minutes long. Even though they were short, it was nice to be able to count on seeing her. I believe this worked for us because it was realistic and consistent. What is something realistic for your relationships? Once a week phone calls or coffee dates? Handwritten letters every couple of weeks? A daily SnapChat? Obviously a coffee date is more intimate than SnapChat, but start somewhere and work toward finding what works. A Word of Caution Don’t become so caught up in trying to maintain old relationships that you miss what is in front of you now. By all means, foster old relationships. But also be grateful for new coworkers, new prayer group members, and new neighbors. I am so thankful that I have met new people from work and parish activities. These people have loved me, been examples for me, taught me new things, and challenged my way of thinking. 3. Daily Prayer How has this transition affected your prayer life? Working 9-5 left my evenings free, but also left me with less energy. I established a nightly prayer routine during college, but once I started working, my prayer suffered. I threw a nice pity party about this. I complained that my prayer life wasn’t good anymore. I complained that I didn’t know what God wanted and that I didn’t have any peace. After listening to this for several months, my boyfriend took some action. He took my phone and set a daily alarm to pray at 6:30 in the morning. It was just the kick in the butt that I needed. That boyfriend, who is now my fiancé, was surprised when I told him a month later that I was still praying at that time. Now I look forward to my morning prayer time. It works much better for me and starts my day off right. So, what will work for your state in life? Do you need to open yourself up to a new prayer time or type? The Lord is Patient With You; Be Patient With You, Too Most importantly, sisters, simply be patient. During this time of transition, don’t cling to an image of what a Catholic woman’s life "should" look like. Be the Catholic woman God made you to be. Are you a new college grad? How are you feeling about the transition? How can we pray for you? [bctt tweet="Being Rooted in the Faith During the Post-College Transition #BISblog //" via="no"] Abbey Davies is one of few women working in the wastewater industry. By day, she researches and bids for wastewater treatment plant contracts all over the midwest (while enjoying the many jokes about her job). By night, she teaches a Confirmation Prep class, swing dances with her fiancé, and occasionally makes an edible dinner.

For years, I have battled severe pre-menstural syndrome (PMS). I don’t mean just some moodiness here and irritability there. I mean ball-of-anger-in-the-pit-of-my stomach one minute, and curled-up-in-the-corner bawling for no reason the next. I’ve tried everything. Herbal tea. Exercise. Extra sleep. Low dose naltrexone. Progesterone supplementation. While some of these things helped a little, none completely took the edge off and removed this precarious cross from my back every single month. Without fail, when my progesterone levels tank around week three of my cycle, the emotional tumult of PMS and the anger, sadness, tears, obsessive thoughts, and self-deprecation hit unpredictably. And they hit hard. Spiritually Weathering PMS PMS throws me off balance spiritually, too. For a week or so, prayer feels impossible. My scrupulosity is worse. God feels very, very far away. I feel like I have to pick myself up, dust myself off, and regain my balance when it’s over—until next month. It’s not just an exhausting physical battle, but a spiritual one, too. Through my PMS-induced tears over something silly and inconsequential just a few weeks ago, I thought, "Surely I’m not the only woman who feels the heavy weight of this cross month after month, who suffers in silence while faking a smile, though wanting to cry." To all the women who suffer severe PMS symptoms: you’re not alone. My (very patient) husband recently said to me, “You’re like a little ship with your sails unfurled, and PMS is the storm. The waves and wind are hitting you hard, and the best you can do is weather it.” PMS is a storm; but there are ways to weather it spiritually. You Aren't In Control. Feeling emotional when our hormones are fluctuating isn’t something we can control entirely. So often women are expected to go about their day normally while this invisible struggle causes immense physical, mental, and emotional stress. And if you’re like me, you often blame yourself for not being able to better control it. But you shouldn’t. Like my husband said to me, PMS is a storm. The best thing you can do is figure out ways to make your heart as peaceful as possible in the midst of the storm as you wait for it to pass. Let the 7-10 days you experience heightened emotions be a time that helps you reorient your heart. Allow Jesus to be in control of everything in your life. I have a tendency of trying to handle things on my own. But there’s nothing like a few PMS symptoms to remind me that I am wholly incapable of managing anything in my day-to-day life without leaning on Jesus. The Emotions and Feelings Aren't Lasting. Cling to What Is. The hormonal rollercoaster that I and so many other women endure every month includes often-debilitating emotions, ranging from depression and sadness to irritabiltiy and anger. PMS can make even the smallest inconveniences or rough patches throughout day seem much larger than they actually are. It can also magnify things we struggle with the rest of the month, like self-deprecation, scrupulosity, or habitual sins. Recognize that these feelings—the anger, the sadness, the obsessive thoughts, the irritability, and everything else—are not you. If your hormones weren’t playing games with you, you’d respond to everything with a more level head. The feelings aren’t lasting (even though they feel like it), so cling to what does last. Remind yourself often (say it out loud if you have to!) that you are loved by the God of the universe. You’re beautiful and made in His image. These feelings and emotions don’t define you or change who you are in the eyes of God and your loved ones. You don’t have to fight this struggle alone because Jesus is right next to you. Pray, Even When It's Hard. For some women, feelings of sadness and irritability automatically cue them to turn to prayer. For the rest of us, we need a reminder and perhaps a little encouragement to raise our eyes to Heaven in the midst of our suffering. When I’m at my lowest, God feels so very far away no matter what I do. This is, firstly, a great reminder that even when I don’t feel the presence of God, He is still there. It also reminds me to pray despite my lack of spiritual consolation. I find that the Jesus Prayer is a great one to repeat over and over in times like this: Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Choose a prayer that is particularly comforting and reassuring to you that you can recall when you’re feeling really upset or out of control, like the Memorare or the Hail Mary. Start Charting Your Cycles. This isn’t exactly spiritual advice, but there is so much value in charting your cycles. You deserve to know how your body works and what’s going on with your cycle, and charting will help you grow in this understanding. Natural family planning methods can even help you diagnose health issues. As soon as I started charting, my NaPro doctor and NFP instructor recognized that I had symptoms of not only incredibly low progesterone, but also endometriosis, which we could then begin treating. Accept the Cross. It took me a long time to accept that this is a cross I’ve been given to carry. I hated having to deal with PMS every month. I resented the fact that this haunted me every few weeks and that nothing seemed to make me feel better. I kept asking God why I had to suffer like this. I was (and still am) seeing my doctor and NFP instructor regularly. I'm still trying a number of different treatments to ease my symptoms. But this process itself becomes as tiring as the symptoms themselves. During the process of trying to find a treatment that works—and one that doesn’t include birth control—I experienced a beautiful moment of grace and came to understand the meaning of suffering a bit more. God permits us to suffer for the betterment of our souls. I decided to accept the cross. I will bear it, I prayed. With Your help, I will bear it. You’re Not Alone For the girls who have tried everything, or the ones still trying to figure out what works and what doesn’t, this cross can be seriously heavy. You’re not alone. This struggle doesn’t define you. Jesus is there for you through this, even when you don’t feel Him near. And when the fog of PMS lifts and you can breathe again, He will be there, as He was all along. Do you struggle with severe PMS or other hormonal issues? How does your Faith aid you in the difficulty? [bctt tweet="PMS: Spiritually Weathering the Storm #BISblog //" username="@sarahccoffey17"] Sarah Coffey is a freelance writer and also works for the Archdiocese of St. Louis. She and her husband, Jesse, both converted to Catholicism in college. They reside in the St. Louis area with their cat, Stella. You can find out more about her here.

Today we celebrate the feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. Maybe you have read about Mount Carmel in the Old Testament or have a devotion to St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Edith Stein, St. Teresa of Avila, or St. John of the Cross. Maybe you have a monastery of Carmelite brothers or sisters near you. Maybe you have no idea what Carmelite spirituality is, but reading this post has given you a sudden craving for salted caramels, caramel corn, or caramel apples. Mount Carmel: The Place I am currently in the middle of a solo pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I strategically arranged my itinerary so that I would be on Mount Carmel for Our Lady’s feast. Mount Carmel is located near the city of Haifa which is on the Mediterranean coast, north of Tel Aviv and west of the Sea of Galilee. There are several caves on this mountain where hermits have been praying for centuries in the spiritual tradition of the prophet Elijah. In the thirteenth century, some of the hermits created the Carmelite Order, devoting their hidden lives to contemplative prayer within the solitude of the cloister. If you ever have the chance to visit Mount Carmel, several religious communities offer accommodations for pilgrims. This is such a privileged way to witness their life more closely. Here on Mount Carmel, there are a few places of pilgrimage which you can explore. Cave of Elijah // The place where Elijah lived and prayed before God triumphed over the priests of Baal (1 Kings 18:1-40). Muhraka Monastery on the summit of Mt. Carmel // The place of Elijah’s competition with the prophets of Baal. Stella Maris Monastery // A monastery and lighthouse dedicated to Our Lady, Star of the Sea. The Rule of Carmel There are thousands of Carmelite communities throughout the world (Carmelite priests, brothers, sisters, nuns, and third order members) and you can encounter their spirituality by praying with them. The Rule of Carmel is based on these four points: Encounter with Christ takes place through the Sacraments and the Liturgy. Mutual knowledge and love deepen through intensified mental prayer. Presence of the Beloved becomes real through Eucharistic Adoration and common life in the mystery of fraternal charity. Conformity of the will grows through self-discipline and prudent self-denial. The Brown Scapular There is also the popular Marian devotion of being enrolled in the brown scapular. In the 13th century, after a Crusader’s pilgrimage to the Holy Land, St. Simon Stock had a vision of Our Lady and encouraged people to wear a scapular (little square pieces of brown fabric worn under your clothing around the neck) to symbolize Mary’s loving mantle of maternal protection and her mediation of grace. Today is a great day to ask your priest to be enrolled in the Scapular of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. Resources for Carmelite Spirituality If you are interested in learning more about Carmelite spirituality, consider reading some of these books: Divine Intimacy by Father Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D. The Collected Works of St. Teresa of Avila The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross The Impact of God (Soundings from St. John of the Cross) by Iain Matthew The Complete Works of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity The Hidden Life by St. Edith Stein Story of a Soul by St. Therese of Lisieux The Way of Trust and Love: A Retreat Guided by St. Therese of Lisieux by Fr. Jacques Phillipe I Believe in Love: A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St. Therese of Lisieux by Jean C.J. d’Elbee Carmelite Music On this feast, you may want to celebrate by listening to some Carmelite music. The Carmelite Sisters of the Most Sacred Heart of Los Angeles have music here. Supporting Carmelites Also, many Carmelite Communities live on Divine Providence, living their vow of poverty by relying on the generosity of others to provide for their material and financial needs. On this Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, consider using some of your tithing money to make a donation to a local community. Most Carmelites observe a simple diet, so sometimes it is helpful to call the monastery and ask if there is anything in particular they are in need of. Simple practical items include: fresh fruit and vegetables, flour, oil, fish, toilet paper, and postage stamps. Carmelite Intercession The Carmelites are powerhouses of prayer! My grandma frequently calls the Carmelites and asks them to get on their knees for particular intentions. In fact, the Carmelites sustained her in prayer during a difficult pregnancy, and so I have an aunt named Marycarmel. On this feast today, consider sending your prayer requests to the Carmelites via snail mail, voicemail, or online request. Hymn to Our Lady of Mount Carmel I’ll leave you today with the words of this Carmelite hymn to Mary, Flos Carmeli. Flower of Carmel,Tall vine blossom laden;Splendor of heaven,Childbearing yet maiden.None equals thee. Mother so tender,Who no man didst know,On Carmel's childrenThy favors bestow.Star of the Sea. Strong stem of Jesse,Who bore one bright flower,Be ever near usAnd guard us each hour,who serve thee here. Purest of lilies,That flowers among thorns,Bring help to the true heartThat in weakness turnsand trusts in thee. Strongest of armor,We trust in thy might:Under thy mantle,Hard pressed in the fight,we call to thee. Our way uncertain,Surrounded by foes,Unfailing counselYou give to thosewho turn to thee. O gentle MotherWho in Carmel reigns,Share with your servantsThat gladness you gainedand now enjoy. Hail, Gate of Heaven,With glory now crowned,Bring us to safetyWhere thy Son is found,true joy to see.Amen. Happy feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel! ✨ Featured Resource Learn More About Our Lady Just as a mother might pass on a beloved family tradition to her daughters, Mary shares the recipe for growing in virtue with us.This study on Mary's Virtues will breathe new life into your everyday, beginning right in Mary's home. Shop the Study → This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

I am here! O my God. I am here, I am here! You drew me away from earth, and I climb to You in a passion of shrilling. To the dot in heaven Where, for an instant, You crucify me. When will You keep me forever? Must You always let me fall back to the furrow's dip, a poor bird of clay? Oh, at least let my exultant nothingness soar to the glory of Your mercy, in the same hope, until death. -Prayer of the Lark by Carmen Bernos de Gasztold Reflect It is not between good and evil, we repeat, that the choice lies, but between good and better. In other words, we must give up over and over again even the good things of this world to choose God. Mortal sin is a running from God and a turning to created things—created things that are good. Dorothy Day, On Pilgrimage [bctt tweet="It is not between good and evil...that the choice lies, but between good and better. -Dorothy Day #BISrests //" via="no"] Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Upward + Better #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Christy Isinger. You can find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

Growing up, I remember packing my sit-upon and mess kit to attend Camp Sacagawea as a camper, and later, as a counselor each year through high school. My grandfather whittled Native American figurines out of bars of soap for my cousins and I on summer visits. Names like Mahtomedi, Minnehaha, Minnetonka, Kawishiwi, and Winnibigoshish are part of my geography. As part of J-term at my environmental high school, we rafted a portion of the Lewis and Clark (and Sacagawea) expedition through North Dakota and Montana. We grew up with an awareness of and a deep sense of respect for the Native American people. Tradition and Influence I’ve been thinking some about this influence recently. My daughters have discovered a story series about a Nez Perce girl growing up in the 1700s. Both girls are mesmerized by the life and rituals described in these stories. We listen to the stories on audio collection. I’ve been listening closely, too. The depiction of family, spirituality, adventures, and courage, are compelling. Imagine the excitement then, when our family drove through a part of the Mille Lacs Indian reservation in Northern Minnesota recently. It is a unique experience. Billboards advertising snowmobiling, fishing, colleges that promote language preservation, casinos, museums and historical markers, road signs in a foreign and beautiful tongue, all surrounded by forests and lakes. It is a unique place. Certainly it is not one without its own, difficult story. This is an interesting parallel to the life of St. Kateri ,whom we honor today. Set apart, beautiful, and part of a complex story. St. Kateri Tekakwitha Kateri was born to a Christian mother and a Mohawk chief. Her parents and brother died during the smallpox epidemic. She lost a great deal of her eyesight and scars covered her face. Because of her scarring, Tekakwitha wore head coverings and avoided social gatherings. The name ‘Tekakwitha’ is translated to “she who bumps into things.” "Kateri" is Mohawk for her Baptismal name, St. Catherine of Siena. She was viewed with much suspicion by her extended family and tribe after her conversion. Under the advisement of a Jesuit priest, Tekakwitha fled to a Jesuit mission in Canada where she was able to live her faith more completely. Tekakwitha is remembered for her deep piety and acts of suffering, which she would offer on her behalf or that of others. She died at the age of 24. At her canonization, Pope Benedict XVI declared Kateri Tekakwitha a model for young people in 2012. Modeling Her Spirit We all probably know a piece of a story like this. A single mom advocating for a co-worker’s well-deserved raise. A retired neighbor earning a high school or college diploma they didn’t have the opportunity to earn earlier. The parents of a special needs child, creating individual learning plans each year. A quiet force. Someone who finds themselves in circumstances that are less than ideal. Rather than being defined by them, they instinctively seek to make a more fitting and fruitful situation. This was the life of Kateri Tekakwitha. Remembering her mother’s devotion to God, she sought out opportunities for herself to grow in faith after her family died. This was at her own risk, given the period in history and the suspicious relationship between missionaries and Mohawks. She was ostracized. She walked hundreds of miles with limited vision to a community of believers with whom she could safely practice her Faith. Sent Into the Wilderness Several years ago, I heard a mesmerizing story-teller speak. Her grasp on the stories and the way she delivered them still can give me goosebumps. They were stories she’d collected from all over the world, and Scripture, too. One of my favorite prompts that she shared that day was something like this: After years and years of slavery, in service to Pharaoh, the Israelites are led to freedom by Moses. He parted the sea, led them across it and into a giant desert. They had no supplies and they didn’t know how long they’d be gone. They only hoped it would be better than where they’d been. With all these thoughts swirling in your heads, I’d like to ask…Who would you go into the wilderness for? Because in every sense, Kateri’s life and conversion were invitations for her to go into the wilderness. In reflecting on Kateri today, it is an important question for us, too. For whom would you go into the wilderness? Are you being invited into the wilderness? [bctt tweet="St. Kateri Tekakwitha: Lily of the Mohawks #BISblog //" via="no"]

How can I have an intimate relationship with Christ that allows me to truly understand the plans He has for me? How will I be able to know, love, and serve Him in this world and be happy with him forever in Heaven? What can I do to be able to listen to the voice of the Lord? Embracing Christ in Eucharistic Adoration The Son of God is my Savior. He is my true Beloved, the One who gave up His life for me by suffering on the Cross so that I can spend eternity with His Father in Heaven. As the Son having two natures, He is both one true God and one true man. And He is present to me in my life as a young Catholic woman. I experience His love, consolation, and compassion by choosing to spend time in His divine embrace. I spend time with Him in the peace and serenity of Eucharistic Adoration. The Eucharist becomes my refuge of safety. In the silence, I can share my concerns, frustrations, sadness, pain, joy, and happiness with Jesus. In return, He wraps me in His love. He helps me to strengthen my relationship with Him as I embrace the sacredness of these precious moments. This is His holy kiss from Heaven on earth. I am His and He is mine. My Life Depends on Christ I know I cannot live without Jesus, nor would I ever have the desire to live without Him. I would be nothing without Him. Life without Christ at the center would equal going through the motions without any purpose or meaning. When there is happiness and joy, who would I be able to thank? During the times I am confronted with challenges and difficulties, when I fall, who will be there to catch me? When I am sad and in a state of grief, who will be there to console me? He is why I live my life. Jesus is always the light in any darkness. And it is in the Catholic Church with the Blessed Sacrament that Jesus is always present to me and to all of us. It is in the tabernacle in every single Catholic Church around the world that He waits for us to visit Him. His love for us radiates from His most Sacred Heart. It is up to us to accept His love and to love Him in return. The sanctuary lamp burns brightly, reminding us that Jesus is always present to us. Adoration and Our Vocational Call It is by spending time before the Blessed Sacrament alone with Him that I was able to become open to considering the consecrated life. Only through Adoration was I able to be truly open to the will of God when I was in my mid-twenties. I was finally able to say, "Fiat, let it be done." When I visit Jesus in Adoration—even when the seats around me are filled with others in those precious moments—I feel that it is just us two. I am looking at Him and He is looking at me. It is through spending time with Jesus that I continue to hear that gentle whisper in my heart. By remaining in the silence with Him, we will not only hear His calling to us, but we can have the courage to respond to that call. Whether we are called to the single life, consecrated life, or the married life, alone time with Jesus is the way to listen with the ear of our hearts. It was by sitting in the quiet of my own heart during Adoration that I was able to truly feel where God is calling me. And now, as I sit with Him I feel at home with such an overwhelming sense of peace and expectant joy as I await to enter into a religious community. A Prayer for Adoration: O Sacrament Most Holy A shroud of divine light ignites the breath of the perpetual flame with the burning of crimson hope where the passionate rose blossoms. The golden Tabernacle reveals His glorious splendor aglow with the radiance of Christ that permeates the hallowed space. Ode to the humbled silence; the reverent stillness, the wellspring of Grace. In the Blessed Sacrament He waits. The Living Water flows from the spring; a Fountain of Holy Love quenches thirst and offers the Bread of Life. Transubstantiation; Heaven kisses Earth. Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity Adoration of the Sacred Host The lamp burns brightly near the dwelling place with the Real Presence; Jesus in the Eucharist. [bctt tweet="Ode to the humbled silence; the reverent stillness, the wellspring of Grace. In the Blessed Sacrament He waits. #BISblog //" via="no"] What prayer do you like to pray during Eucharistic Adoration? [bctt tweet="Jesus, My Everything: On Adoration #BISblog //" via="no"] Christina M. Sorrentino is a millennial cradle Catholic who is an aspiring religious sister. She is a blogger and writer in Staten Island, New York. She is the author of the book, Called to Love A Listening Heart - A Book of Catholic Poetry. You can find out more about her here.

It started, as life changes often do, with an ugly-cry-in-the-shower session. My son was three months old and we had just returned from spending Christmas with my family on the other side of the country. My mom and I were having a tough time navigating her new role as a grandmother and mine as a mother. I lost track of how many times I spoke harshly to her. I felt isolated from my three younger siblings who were nowhere close to this wildly different season of life I was now in. Recently, I had gone back at work after maternity leave and it was not going well. I hadn’t seen any of my friends since our meal train ended. Worst of all, I was convinced God had made a terrible mistake by giving me this beautiful child because I was far too weak, unworthy, and selfish to be a good mother. Those lies pounded in my heart day in and day out. This massive responsibility of raising a child on top of all the other things I hoped to do well (used to do well) was too much. I couldn’t do it. Saints as Mentors and Role Models In the shower that day, where I had run for ten minutes of uninterrupted tears, God gently pointed me in the right direction. You’re not the first person who has had to figure this out, He whispered to my heart. Look to My daughters who have done it well. Like so many Catholic women, I had long loved St. Therese of Lisieux. Her parents, St. Marie-Azélie Guérin Martin and St. Louis Martin, had come to my attention a few times since their canonization in October 2015, but I knew next to nothing else about them. When I pondered Saints who were mothers though, St. Zélie, as she is known, was the first who came to my mind. Over the next few days, as I poured over The Mother of the Little Flower on the Kindle app during middle-of-the-night nursing sessions, I got to know the woman I now consider one of my dearest friends in Heaven, as well as one of my greatest intercessors. In His wisdom, God has arranged things in a way to remind us that this earth is not our true home. Who Was St. Zélie? At first glance, St. Zélie is a little intimidating. She's the type of person I would look at on Instagram today and wonder, “How does she do it all?” She was a devoted wife and treasured friend to her husband, Louis. They were madly in love and supported, encouraged, and prayed for one another faithfully. She was a loving daughter, caring for her difficult father selflessly until his death. She corresponded regularly with her beloved sister, a Visitation nun, to whom many of St. Zélie's 200+ saved letters were sent. She was a talented Alençon lace maker who ran her own thriving business. It was so thriving, in fact, that Louis ultimately sold his watchmaking business to work with her full-time. And she was a mother of nine, four who passed away in infancy, and five who ultimately became nuns (and Saints). She had many important roles, and she fulfilled them all beautifully. How? As I read her letters and the memories her daughters shared in this book, that answer began to take shape. Why Zélie is a Saint St. Zélie knew that her tasks and obligations didn’t, and wouldn’t, fulfill her. Time and time again, her letters echoed the truth that was so deeply embedded in her heart: the goal of her existence was Heaven. Nothing in the world, no matter how joyful or how much success or prestige it brought her, could make her truly happy. Her confidence in the hope of Heaven completely freed her from societal pressure here on Earth. This woman, who carried so many responsibilities, rested in the knowledge that the only responsibility that truly mattered was pursuing sainthood, and encouraging her husband and children to do the same. The simplest and the wisest thing in all cases is to submit to God’s will, and to prepare in advance to bear one’s cross as bravely as possible. [bctt tweet="St. Zélie's confidence in the hope of Heaven completely freed her from societal pressure here on Earth. #BISblog //" via="no"] Trust in the Midst of Extreme Suffering St. Zélie was no stranger to disappointment, sorrow, heartbreak, or pain. But time and time again, she affirmed her faith in God’s love and His plan for her. She knew there were no accidents. God was with her when running her business felt overwhelming, when her children were being difficult (turns out even Saints misbehave as children—comforting, right?), when she left Lourdes without being healed of the breast cancer that ultimately took her life, and every time God called one of her precious babies to Heaven. While the little things of life did sometimes worry her, as she readily admitted, when it came to the big things, the faith she worked hard to cultivate daily paid off. In every case, she trusted God fully. She placed her life totally in His hands. She believed that if she died, He had a perfect plan for the family she would leave behind. In a word, always active, always devoted, constantly smiling, our mother never appeared to be doing anything extraordinary, but with remarkable simplicity and humility, she tirelessly spent herself for others, and lived always for the good God. [bctt tweet="With remarkable simplicity and humility, she tirelessly spent herself for others, and lived always for the good God. (Celine Martin on her mom, St. Zélie) #BISblog //" username="blessedisshe__"] St. Zélie Taught Me How to Be a Mom I always expected that when I had a baby, I would simply add “mother” to the list of identifiers I used for myself: Catholic, wife, daughter, sister, friend, writer. What I didn’t realize was that becoming a mama would dramatically impact every facet of who I am. St. Zélie showed me through her beautiful life that this was actually a very good thing. Motherhood doesn’t wipe out those other parts of me; rather, it enhances them. It turns me to the Lord in humility and reliance every single day. It deepens my love for my husband and strengthens our relationship. Motherhood increases my gratitude for and understanding of my own mother. It helps me to love my siblings and friends more tangibly, and to turn to them for prayer and encouragement more freely. It gives new purpose and inspiration to my writing. Motherhood is the vocation God chose for me, in His wisdom and infinite love, in order to draw me closer to Him and to sanctify me. Motherhood was St. Zélie's path to sainthood. Maybe it can be mine, too. Any other moms out there? Has St. Zélie encouraged you in your vocation? [bctt tweet="How St. Zélie Taught Me How to Be a Mother #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

One of the things I love about the Catholic Church is that she is both old and new at the same time. The tradition of the Church is 2,000 years old, and yet it’s still relevant and still being expanded upon today. That means we celebrate saints like Augustine, who died in the fourth century, as well as ones like Louis and Zélie Martin (St. Thérèse of Lisieux’s parents), who died in the late nineteenth century and were canonized—together, as a married couple—in 2015. The Special Feast Day of Louis and Zélie Martin Most Saints’ feasts are celebrated on the day on which they died and entered into Heaven. The feast of Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin is an exception to the rule. Their feast is celebrated on July 12, because it is the day on which they were civilly married, with a religious ceremony taking place at midnight on July 13, as was common for couples who wanted a quiet service where they could receive Communion. The Martins were holy people who lived with true and contagious devotion for the Lord. But while today we can see that marriage and family life were certainly their vocation, the path to their Sainthood wasn’t as linear as you might think. Following the Spirit Zélie Guerin and Louis Martin both initially wanted to become religious, but were denied by the communities they approached. Zélie began to make lace, and Louis, watches. They married just three months after they met, intending to stay celibate. However, guidance from a spiritual director encouraged them to enter fully into married life—and thank goodness they did! Of the nine children they had, five grew to adulthood and entered convents. Their youngest, of course, is St. Thérèse of Lisieux. Their third child, Marie Léonie, is also a candidate for Sainthood. Obviously, Sts. Louis and Zélie are prime intercessors for concerns with marriage or family life. But as beautifully as they lived their marriage and made themselves open to receiving the graces of the sacrament, what we can learn from them goes beyond the vows of matrimony. Trusting No Matter the Cost Imagine feeling called to the religious life, being ready to make an enormous sacrifice of your independence, your will, your body and soul, only to be told, “No, thanks.” Can you fathom the emotions Louis and Zélie must have experienced when this happened for each of them? Perhaps they doubted that they were really hearing the voice of God. Maybe they wondered where they’d gone wrong in their discernment. I imagine, at least for a moment, they were each at a loss for what the rest of their lives held. How would they serve the Lord they loved so dearly, if not in this way that seemed so clearly set out for them? Time passed and a closed door became the means to an open window, as they say. It’s been recorded that when Zélie first saw Louis, she heard our Blessed Mother tell her that this was the man she was to marry. I wonder, was she utterly joyful at this revelation, or was she still a little uncertain of her calling? Whatever her first impression, she quickly found courage and responded to God’s grace to follow a path she hadn’t expected for herself. First by marrying, and then again by having children. It’s Not Easy Being Holy! Zélie’s letters reveal that daily life was challenging for her. She was raising young children, mourning the losses of her four children who died young, running a business, all while trying to care for her marriage and stay close to the Lord. To some of us, this sounds very familiar! But even if this isn’t your experience, the trust and hope that Zélie in particular exhibited can be encouraging. Following the Lord will always require sacrifice. Loving will always mean giving something up. But no matter where your path leads you in this world, when Christ is your guiding light, you can trust that there is great joy and an eternal reward awaiting you. Honoring Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin Feast days are something to celebrate! Here are some ideas to make the most of their feast day tomorrow: To Eat and Wear The Martins were French, so start the day with a croissant or crepes. Add a touch of lace to your outfit today to recall the business by which Louis and Zélie eventually supported their family (her business was more profitable than his). To Create If you are artistically inclined, as lacemaker Zélie was, devote some time today to creating something beautiful for your own home or to gift to someone you love. To Pray Parents and spouses, especially, offer this prayer to these great saints: Blessed Louis and Zélie Martin, today we turn to you in prayer. By fulfilling the duties of your state in life and practicing the evangelical virtues as spouses and as parents, you have modeled for us an exemplary Christian life. May the example of your unwavering trust in God and your constant willingness to surrender all the joys, the trials, the sorrows and the sufferings that filled your life encourage us to persevere in our daily challenges and to remain in joy and Christian hope. Amen. To Seek If you’re single, ask God, through the intercession of Sts. Louis and Zélie, to continue to guide you toward Him, whether you are called to the single life or marriage is farther down the line for you. To Love If you’re married, hug your spouse (and child/children) a little more tightly tonight. Make an effort to express your love in words or actions. Let your husband know you’re grateful for who he is and that you have been called to this life together. Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin, pray for us! [bctt tweet="The Holiness and Example of Sts. Louis and Zelie Martin #BISblog //" via="no"] Lindsay Schlegel is a daughter of God who seeks to encourage, inspire, and lift up the contemporary woman to be all she was created to be. She's the author of Don't Forget to Say Thank You: And Other Parenting Lessons That Brought Me Closer to God, as well as shorter nonfiction and fiction pieces, both online and in print. With joy, she speaks about recognizing God's voice and living the truth therein. Lindsay lives in New Jersey with her high-school-sweetheart-turned-husband and their kids. You can find out more about her here.

I started going to daily Mass when I was in college and continued doing so over my summer breaks. There, I encountered an unexpected hurdle: the other regular Mass attendees (or what some people might call "the little old ladies"). They were excited to see a “young person” at daily Mass on a regular basis, and it wasn’t long before they started asking me questions after every Mass. These chats involved some very personal vocational questions. In fact, almost all of them asked me, “Do you want to be a nun?” Even worse, the petitions always included a prayer for an increase in religious vocations, and these well-meaning souls would all smile at me “knowingly.” Well-Meaning Distractions What they didn’t realize—and what I’m sure none of them intended—is that they were doing more harm than good. They made me question God and how I saw Him working within my own life. This included the direction He was giving me in regards to my vocation. Because I didn’t entirely “know His voice” yet (John 10:27), it was hard for me to recognize whether these promptings were indeed from Him or simply someone else’s opinion. This self-doubt then became a tool that Satan used against me. Though I loved God and wanted nothing more than to please Him, I was not attracted to religious life. Still, I thought that maybe I had made a mistake in my own discernment. Why else would it come up in conversations so frequently? It got to a point where I was afraid to go deep into prayer. I became afraid of intimacy with God. I avoided praying about my vocation and stayed clear of convents, religious sisters, and those who were trying to converse with me about the topic. This was the norm for almost a decade. It finally got to a point where I couldn’t handle the agony. I had to confront it. I spoke with priests, sisters, my biological sisters, my friends, and my mom: the people who really knew me. In prayer, I was also incredibly honest, vulnerable, and frank with God. I wanted the answer, even if it was the answer I didn’t want to hear. How to Listen to the Holy Spirit in Vocational Discernment This situation was not resolved with a simple change. Discernment was messy, painful, and very, very difficult. Here are some of the defining pieces of advice, words from prayer, and life experiences that helped me to finally figure it all out. Know God's Voice I wish I would have turned to prayer more. Not to solely pray about my vocation, but to know God’s voice. If you’re dealing with a discernment dilemma, I think this is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself. It’s the foundation you need. As Christ said, “my sheep hear my voice... and they follow me…” (John 10:27); we can’t follow Him if we don’t know His voice. Spend time reading Scripture, frequent the Sacraments of Confession and the Eucharist, read about the lives of the Saints and how God moved in their lives. Rest in His Goodness On a similar note, pray the words of Psalm 23 on a daily basis and take them to heart. God wants nothing more than to give us good things. In His goodness, He wants us to be satisfied. He wants us to be blessed. He wants us to be protected. The Good Shepherd will not lead us any place that we will not be happy and feasting. This doesn’t mean everything will be all sunshine and roses. No matter our vocation, there will always be a cross. And crosses are painful. What’s weirdly cool is that God leads us a the vocation in which we will desire to embrace our cross. That’s the “feast” (or at least the beginning of it). [bctt tweet="God leads us into a vocation in which we will desire to embrace our cross. #BISblog //" via="no"] Trust in His Word Do not second-guess answers that you have received from God in prayer. I can think of four different instances in which God answered me clearly about my vocational discernment. Then, as time passed and things weren’t happening according to what I thought was a good time table, I started to doubt. I wasn’t doubting God per se; more doubting my own perception of what I heard. “Maybe I misunderstood him…” I’d think to myself. I’d let go of the gift of consolation He had given to me, thinking I was being humble. In hindsight, I can tell you this was not the case. I was faltering. So, stand firm in God’s consolation and promise. Do not go backwards. Disregard every thought or word that goes against the truth of the Lord and His Church and what He has spoken to your heart. This honors Him. You aren’t being closed, you’re being faithful. Look to the Godly Women in Scripture Read the Biblical stories of Eve and Sarah. Ask for their intercession. Both women received clear messages from God, and both doubted. Since both women are considered Saints within the Catholic Church, it’s safe to say that they would be more than happy to do what they can to help you avoid this kind of mistake. Eve In Eve’s case, God told her, “You may freely eat of every tree of the garden; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat...” (Gen 2:16-17). Then at the beginning of the very next chapter, the serpent plants the seed of doubt: “Did God [really] say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree of the garden’?” (Gen 3:1). He makes his way inside her head by confusing her. It is once he has her questioning God that he gets her to believe his lie and eat the forbidden fruit. Sarah Sarah’s case is very similar. God promised Sarah and her husband that He would give them a son. Years passed since this promise was made and they remained barren. Like Eve, Sarah probably thought that they misunderstood God. Perhaps He meant to give them a son, but it wasn’t through natural means. So Sarah gives her servant Hagar to Abraham (a common thing to do at the time) and nine months later Ishmael was born. Thirteen years later, Isaac comes into being and Ishmael’s presence becomes a bit of a problem as he is a threat to Isaac’s inheritance (as well as God’s original plan (Gen 12, 16-18:1-15, 21:1-21)). Doubt of God’s promise is what led to all this difficulty. Rejoice in the Universal Call to Holiness Rest assured that everyone is called to holiness. Religious life is beautiful and necessary, but it is not possible without the vocation of marriage (the Martin family is a perfect example of this). God designed new life to enter the world by the fruits of marital union. This is no small task! It is demanding, and the constant death to self for the sake of one’s family is relatable to crucifixion. It’s why St. Teresa of Calcutta said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.” Holiness is not exclusively meant for the religious. It is meant for everyone! Pope St. John Paul II said, “My dear young people…do not be afraid to be the saints of the new millenium!” Then he went on to canonize 482 saints (children, single, married, religious) as proof that anyone can become a saint! [bctt tweet="“My dear young people…do not be afraid to be the saints of the new millennium!” -JPII #BISblog //" via="no"] A Final Note on Vocational Discernment Just because you love Jesus and want to serve Him does not automatically mean that He is calling you to religious life. He might be asking you to be His bride through religious vows, or He might be asking you to be the bride of one of His beloved sons. Holiness has no limits and God has plans to make you a Saint no matter which vocation He is calling you to. And until you are confident in your vocation, be at peace in God’s timing. Heed the advice of St. Paul: “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving…” (Col 4:2). Do you struggle with discernment in your vocation? Do you ever feel influenced by the opinions of well-meaning people who don't really know you? How do you handle that? [bctt tweet="How to Listen to the Spirit (Instead of the Flippant Opinions of Others) in Your Vocational Discernment #BISblog //" via="no"]

We are a people of busyness. We measure the worth our days by our productivity, how well we fill our social calendars, our five-year plans. Life is parsed, analyzed, and evaluated through a never-ending stream of projects and checklists. In Gilead, author Marilynne Robinson turns this idea of the good life completely on its head. Her novel is a remarkable meditation on faith, hope, and the beauty of existence, even in the midst of suffering. The Profound Themes of Gilead John Ames, a Congregationalist minster living in the tiny backwater town of Gilead, Iowa, is dying. He decides to write a letter to his seven-year-old son, telling him everything he thinks the boy should know about life. It’s both a chronicle of the Ames family history and a meditation on the present. And although Ames has borne many heavy crosses throughout his life and toiled in obscurity, he reflects on the whole of his existence with gratitude and wonder. He is a contemplative soul, and it is his habit of contemplation and prayer that allows him to live a fruitful life and recognize God’s loving providence in everything. Ames’s love letter to his child reads like a guidebook to the way to live a peaceful, meaningful life—and the keys are gratitude, wonder, and faith. Delight in God’s Creation John Ames has a remarkable ability to contemplate the natural world and unearth the glory of the mundane. For him, nothing happens by chance; all of creation is imbued with meaning. Our God is a God of the physical as well as the spiritual. He has given us this good earth to enjoy. Ames fully appreciates this. The most ordinary of surroundings fill him with wonder, such as when he exclaims: I love the prairie! So often I have seen the dawn come and the light flood over the land and everything turn radiant at once, that word "good" so profoundly affirmed in my soul that I am amazed I should be allowed to witness such a thing. A drop of rain, the rays of dawn, even the mysterious darkness of night, are all things of wonder for Ames. They are gifts to be valued and taken care of. Most importantly, they are signs of God’s presence, of His gratuitous love, of a telos in our lives. To recognize this love, though, we must be willing to sit still and let it touch us: But the Lord is more constant and far more extravagant than it seems to imply. Wherever you turn your eyes the world can shine like transfiguration. You don’t have to bring a thing to it, except a little willingness to see. Only, who could have the courage to see it. Delight in the Goodness of Being Ames recognizes that existence itself is a tremendous gift from the Lord. He loves the people around him not for anything they do, but simply because they exist. He knows their value lies in the fact that God made and sustains them. This appreciation manifests itself in a particularly poignant way whenever Ames writes about the pure delight his family inspires in him. His love for his wife and son flows from an absolute amazement in the simple fact that they are. Ames tells his son, ...but it's your existence I love you for, mainly. Existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined. These are humble people, and on the surface there is nothing particularly remarkable about either one of them. But Ames never takes them for granted. He sees the splendor of their souls. Trust in God’s Providence Even in the Midst of Uncertainty and Suffering Ames has led a long and difficult life. He has endured the tragic loss of those dearest to him, a long dark period of loneliness, and misfortune brought on by friends. It would have been easy for him to become restless and bitter. Instead, he learns to see God’s hand in the tumultuous and dry periods of his life. He knows that only the soul that casts aside resentment and trusts in God to provide is truly free. Recalling the many years he spent on his own, bereft of any family, Ames acknowledges that, painful as that time was, God was with him through it all. Now that I look back, it seems to me that in all that deep darkness a miracle was preparing. So I am right to remember it as a blessed time, and myself as waiting in confidence, even if I had no idea what I was waiting for. Ames is also tempted to worry about what will become of his family after he dies. He is poor and wishes he could have provided more for them. He wishes, too, that he could have seen his son grow to manhood and guided him along the way he should go. But instead of succumbing to anxiety, Ames places this burden in the hands of the Lord. He is confident that God can work for good even in a difficult situation such as this, and peacefully entrusts his little boy to the Heavenly Father’s care. That is how life goes—we send our children into the wilderness. Some of them on the day they are born, it seems, for all the help we can give them. Some of them seem to be a kind of wilderness unto themselves. But there must be angels there, too, and springs of water. Even that wilderness, the very habitation of jackals, is the Lord's. Gilead: A Final Review By the book’s conclusion, the reader is left with a sense of deep peace. It becomes clear that a truly well-lived and beautiful life is not measured by productivity and achievements. John Ames’s goodbye letter to his son opens our eyes to the necessity of resting in God, of simply being, and of taking the time and silence to quiet our hearts and let Him do the work of healing and transforming our souls. Have you ever read Gilead? What are your thoughts? Let's talk about it in the comments below! [bctt tweet="Gilead Book Review #BISblog //" via="no"] Maria Bonvissuto is an editor who lives and works in Washington, DC. In her spare time she reads voraciously, plays classical guitar, and spends hours discussing the good, true, and beautiful with her friends. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!