Wisdom From Our Mothers

Growing up with a mom who loved being a wife and a mother was a blessing and a privilege. Most of everything I know comes from this amazing, unselfish woman who got married to my dad at age nineteen and had her first baby before the age of twenty, followed by ten other children. 

As you can imagine, my mom was very busy caring for her large family. Looking back, it seems like she was always in the kitchen preparing the next meal for us. My love for cooking most definitely came from her. 

From a young age, I realized that the best place for me to spend quality time with my mom was in the kitchen. I took full advantage of my sisters not enjoying this task and became my mom’s helper. She taught me not only this very important skill of cooking, but also so many other lessons as we spent time together in the kitchen. 

One of those lessons had to do with the true meaning of beauty. Brazil is known for its beautiful women. Famous supermodels like Gisele Bündchen, Adriana Lima, and Alessandra Ambrosio were all born there. I, too, was born and raised in Brazil, and in my personal experience, the emphasis in that country on outer beauty borders on obsessiveness. 

It’s not so different here in the United States. The unrealistic standard of beauty puts a tremendous amount of pressure on women to look perfect. In Brazil, it is very common to hear of women going under the knife after having babies to get breast implants and tummy tucks. 

I will never forget the day, back when I was twelve or thirteen and becoming a young lady, when I decided to ask my very humble and selfless mom if she would ever consider having one of these procedures. Keep in mind, my mom had eleven babies in less than fifteen years! Looking back, I realize how laughable that question must have been to a selfless woman like her. 

My mom simply looked at me, smiled, and said, “Oh honey, no, I wouldn’t do that. What kind of message would I be sending to you and your sisters? Someday you’ll understand.”

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Falling for the Lies 

That “someday” came twenty-three years later when I was married to my husband and living in South Florida, a place also known for its beautiful women. I was in my mid-thirties and had just given birth to our second daughter, my precious Bree. Some of my friends and neighbors were getting plastic surgery, changing things on their bodies they considered to be “wrong.” Because my faith wasn’t as strong as it is today, I considered having a procedure or two myself. 

One night, I confided to my husband that after we were done having kids, I wanted to invest in a few physical “enhancements.” I was clearly falling into the word’s trap of thinking there was something wrong with my post-baby body.

Thanks to the Holy Spirit, my mom’s words of wisdom came flooding back, and I suddenly realized what she had meant all those years ago. I was the mother of two precious baby girls who would grow up to be women looking to me as their first role model. This world may want us to believe that our moms are not supposed to be our role models, but my mom is and always will be one for me. 

Fast-forward to today. My daughters are now in their late teens, and I thank God I remembered my mom’s words of wisdom during that confusing time when I was bombarded with so many cultural lies. My daughters have enough pressure coming from the outside world telling them they need to look perfect. 

I want my daughters and all women to know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with our post-baby bodies. Our sons also need to grow up knowing that women are so much more than body parts and to never put any pressure on the women they love to “enhance” their bodies. 

Unfortunately, our modern society is very intent on making us feel unworthy if we don’t look a certain way. And the biggest lie is the one that says we will be less loved if we don’t look

perfect on the outside. We fail to remember that the most important beauty is the one that shines from within us. 

Looking to Mary as Our Perfect Example 

Imagine our beautiful Blessed Mother feeling pressure to undergo one of those procedures after giving birth to Jesus—that’s absolutely ridiculous! She knew God had chosen her to be the vessel to bring salvation into the world, and I’m sure she didn’t think any less of her body afterward. 

On the contrary, I’m sure she was in awe of the entire experience and couldn't stop thanking God for it! Cardinal Joseph Mindszenty said it best: “Mothers are closer to God the creator than all other creatures. God joins forces with mothers in performing his act of creation. What on God’s good earth is more glorious than this: to be a mother?” 

Let us not be fooled by these worldly lies that try so hard to demean a mother’s position of being chosen by God. We need to pray for the strength and courage necessary to be honest with ourselves and help each other by sharing our stories. 

My hope is that if you or someone you know is contemplating changing their physical appearance because of the societal pressures placed on women, maybe, just maybe, this story will help guide your decision-making. 

Prayer 

Dear Lord, teach us how to shift our focus from our physical appearance and instead place more emphasis on our heart and soul. Amen.