I was having trouble scheduling my annual retreat. Technically, it was semi-annual at this point, and I was bemoaning this fact to a dear priest friend, hoping Father might have a recommendation. Instead he offered me some life-changing advice.
“You can’t put all your eggs in one retreat basket,” he said. “You need to go and be with the Lord in silence and solitude more consistently.” Father went on to suggest that I make a “desert day” to refresh my heart every month. And that year, by God’s grace, I did.
One Saturday a month for twelve months, I made the trek out of town and down a long, maze-like dirt road to “rest a while” with Jesus (see Mark 6:31) at a Poor Clare monastery called Our Lady of Solitude. This practice of regularly retreating has transformed my relationship with the Lord and I want to offer this spiritual treasure to more women who find themselves “worried and distracted by many things” (Luke 10:41).
What is a Desert Day?
A desert day is a spiritual practice where Christians take a day apart in silence and solitude to pray and rest with the Lord. Inspired by Jesus’ prayer and fasting for forty days in the desert, this intentional time typically includes a pilgrimage of sorts. You retreat or withdraw from busy cities and schedules to go away to a quiet place and abide with Jesus. Your pilgrimage could mean visiting a local shrine or a different parish’s adoration chapel, but you could also choose to go a little further afield to a special monastery or retreat center.
A desert day is typically that: one day. But you could also set apart a morning or afternoon, or take a longer time away and make an overnight stay somewhere. It’s really up to you and the Lord.
Since making a desert day is all about being with Jesus, it’s customary to attend Mass and spend time in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament. If available, Confession would be a wonderful addition to your mini-retreat. Scripture and some spiritual reading is another option—I like to read while I’m eating my packed lunch outside in the sunshine. I also try to incorporate a prayer walk and sometimes pray the Rosary.
There is no one right way to make a desert day, but I would suggest discerning your time away with the Lord and either a faith friend or spiritual director. The latter may even give you some Scripture for lectio divina (divine reading). Saint Ignatius would recommend praying with one passage of Scripture per prayer period or Holy Hour. You can find out more about Ignatian meditation here or here.
Benefits of Making a Desert Day
For me, the benefits of this spiritual practice are numerous. I’ve discovered that, like all prayer, it’s a gift that keeps on giving as the graces from these mini-retreat days have shaped my heart, spirituality, and daily life.
My monthly desert day became the backbone of my prayer that year. In January, I chose one Saturday a month for the whole year, booked it with the nuns, and turned down invitations for the same day. This was an immovable commitment and setting that intention anchored my month.
Friends began asking me about this practice and after a few months of making solo pilgrimages to the monastery I started meeting up with various girlfriends to carpool and spend a day in solitude, together. To see the graces of it ripple out into my relationships and their lives was further proof of the potency of this discipline. And it was especially sweet to lean into God’s heart and ask who He wanted me to invite every month.
But undoubtedly the greatest grace of this monthly routine was the prayer itself. The content of those days inspired and directed my prayer all month long. It was like having a life-changing retreat and spiritual direction from God Himself for a full day every month. And even when the prayer didn’t feel astounding, even when it felt dry or I nodded sleepily in the cool, quiet chapel, the grace was undeniable. I received Holy Communion and often went to Confession. I sat in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist for hours and was nourished by His Word. I fasted from the noise and fast pace of the world. I rested—body, mind, and soul.
Making a regular desert day is healing in all the ways we long for and need healing. And if you need further convincing, many religious communities make regular desert days a part of their rule of life. My priest friend who initially recommended it to me does too.
Practical Tips for Your Desert Day
Drawing from my own experience, I would recommend setting a date(s) and keeping it (them). There were a few times I had to finagle my schedule to make other things work around it, but those Saturdays were often miraculously free. No doubt this was the fruit of consecrating my year and those dates to the Lord. God is generous and when we are generous with Him, His grace is abundant.
I would also encourage you to have fun with it! Research local shrines, religious communities, or beautiful adoration chapels and start dreaming about going away with your Beloved. A desert day isn’t a chore to be checked off, it’s an invitation to a love affair with the Lover of Your Soul. Look forward to it with joyful expectation!
Finally, I would advise you to prepare for your desert day, both practically and spiritually. The night before my desert day, I pack a tote with all of my prayer essentials and prep my meals and snacks, and even pick out what I’m going to wear. As much as you can, remove obstacles and temptations to delay your departure.
If you won’t have the opportunity to go to Confession, try to receive the Sacrament in the week leading up to it. Ask your spiritual director or the Holy Spirit in prayer to inspire Scripture to pray with on that day. Tell your friends and family that you’re going away and ask for prayers. And ask the Blessed Mother, Saint Joseph, and any of your special Saint friends to accompany and intercede for you.
In the book of Hosea, the Lord speaks of His desire for His beloved: “Therefore, I will now allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her” (Hosea 2:14). May you allow yourself to be drawn into silence and solitude by the One Who longs to love you.
Beth Davis is a lover of Jesus, a retired youth minister, the Director of Formation for Blessed is She. She is passionate about teaching women how to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus in prayer through writing, speaking, and mentorship. Her favorite things include being the favorite aunt to her five niece and nephews, making friends everywhere she goes, and whatever book she’s currently reading.
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