“I wish I had a dramatic conversion story like Saint Paul.” This jealous thought would often creep into my mind during college while listening to others share their testimony. You see, I had grown up in a safe little bubble. My home was comfortable, my parish was full of life, my schools were places of virtuous friendships, and I had memories of encounters with God in prayer as a child.
Yes, I still sinned every day, but it was nothing like the sins of my friend, Saint Paul (or Mary Magdalene, Saint Augustine, Saint Josephine Bakhita, Saint Ignatius of Loyola, Saint John Henry Newman, that girl in my choir, that boy in my history class, my cousin who turned his whole life around).
But for some reason, these little subtle lies occasionally popped up in my heart.
I don’t have a conversion story.
My life is not a witness.
No one wants to hear about my life.
My goodness has prevented me from experiencing the depth of God’s mercy.
These lies are straight from the pit of hell.
I have slowly learned that God creates each life for the praise of His glory. The indispensable, irreplaceable, unrepeatable gift of every human life is called to an individual relationship with God. Each one of us walks our own path toward holiness. We walk our unique path with a particular family, with friends, and with our vocation.
I laugh as I think about myself in college, wishing I had a dramatic story to tell. Never could I have predicted the winding path of my vocational discernment, teaching career, global travels, health challenges, and inner healing.
And while I still might not have the most dramatic story, I have experienced conversion like Saint Paul: I have heard Jesus call my name. I have been blinded by His light and walked through the darkness of confusion. I have been healed. I have been sent out on mission. This is my unique path to holiness.
Let us ask Saint Paul to intercede for us today that we may hear Jesus’ voice calling us to a radically personal conversion.
God creates each life for the praise of His glory. // Rose ColemanClick to tweet
Enjoy this keen poem on this struggle.
Rose Coleman is an elementary school teacher with a heart for pilgrimage. She traveled the globe on a ship during college and spent some years in the convent as a religious sister. She was a contributing author to All She Had, Blessed Conversations: Rooted, and our children’s devotional prayer book called Rise Up. Find out more about her here.
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