Bad Bangs, Blue Book Exams, and Rejoicing

"Those who sow in tears shall reap rejoicing" (Responsorial Psalm)

My hands trembled as I turned the pages of my exam blue book that end of my second semester of my first year of law school. I had two sharpened pencils because you never knew what would happen. I murmured a prayer to Saint Thomas More, patron of lawyers, and dove in. My hand cramped a few times, but I managed to eek out all the Civ Pro essays and do a quick glance-over edit in time.

I had sowed in tears alright. Lots of late-night-study tears. Lots of relationship-drama tears. Lots of missing-my-family tears. And while I had no idea if I had passed the exam and would "reap" a passing grade, I rejoiced that it was over. As my wise Godmother had counseled me over a not-sure-how-to-persevere batch of tears, "There's no way out but through."

Maybe the wisdom from this Psalm as applied to our lives isn't that we rejoice because everything always works out if we try hard enough. I mean, I did pass the exam, but my first-year relationship went off the rails, into a gully, caught on fire, and slew everyone on board. I still missed my family, I still didn't know what I would do after law school, and I still had some janky blunt bangs (what was I thinking? It was 2006, in my defense).

Whatever it is we're reaping, whatever is on the other end of the tunnel, the Lord walks alongside us, wiping our tears, carrying us, maybe coaxing us at times.

Are you in a season of sowing in tears? Feeling like a fraudulent failure at your job? Anxious about dating post-pandemic? Struggling to sort through family-of-origin stuff? My dear friend, you're not alone. Jesus will accompany you as surely as He did Saint Thomas More who was martyred for his faith. And when you're moving through to the other side, to resting in Jesus' peace, know I'm rejoicing with you, too. Ask Jesus for company today.

*readings from optional memorial of Saint John Fisher, bishop and martyr and Saint Thomas More, martyr

[bctt tweet="Ask Jesus for company today. // Nell O'Leary" username="blessedisshe__"]

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About Nell O'Leary

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Nell O’Leary is the Managing Editor for Blessed is She, an attorney turned writer, speaker, and editor while tending to her husband and five kiddos. She also facilitates our community groups as she loves helping women find sisterhood. Her undergrad is in English from University of Minnesota and her J.D. from Ave Maria School of Law. Notably, she can down a hot cocoa in two seconds. Find out more about her here.