A Spiritual Superbloom

“Come back to me with all your heart. Don’t let fear keep us apart.” 

The famous Christian hymn “Hosea (Come Back to Me)” always touched my heart in many ways. Feeling as if my faith life has been a constant back-and-forth between denying the Lord and urgently running back to Him, these lyrics have reminded me time and time again that He always finds a way to bring me back Home.

I remember two years ago taking part in Blessed is She’s Desert Day. The priest giving his talk at the time focused on a certain passage from the Bible in the book of Hosea that immediately brought me back to this song: “Therefore, I will allure her now; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her” (Hosea 2:14). This Scripture verse spoke to me throughout the retreat, my eyes watering at the truth, beauty, and goodness of Him who never gives up on us,  no matter what.

Years later, I found myself in a spiritual desert—angry all the time for no reason, not able to pray or connect with my Lord deeply, and generally displeased with my current state of life. Here He seemed so distant, and life seemed so dry, that I started to question what the Lord was doing—if He was even here at all while I wandered, lost and exhausted.

Out of the blue, the words of Hosea that once spoke encouragement to me began to fall flat. Praying over these same words, the Lord seemed to be saying this time, I need you here in this wilderness for just a little longer. I responded to Him by pleading, What? Why can’t you lead me out? I don’t want to be spoken to tenderly; I want to get out! But His words stayed relentless.

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“Through the cracks, you break through . . . That’s when I superbloom”—“Superbloom” by MisterWives

One of the ways the Lord chooses to speak tenderly to me—something I didn’t realize until of late—is through music. On Spotify, I love listening to pre-curated playlists that match my emotions of the day or lift up my spirits. On this specific day, however, I chose the latter, picking a mix based off my favorite Taylor Swift album. The first song that played was “Superbloom” by MisterWives, an answer to a prayer.

This indie-pop band sang to me about the natural phenomenon that takes place in the desert after an enormous amount of rainfall. In desert landscapes across the U.S. Southwest, flowers of purple, pink, yellow, and white will blossom out of the dirt when gifted with a good rain year and the necessary climate conditions. All of a sudden, what was once barren and dehydrated is flourishing and abundant with life and color.

MisterWives uses their lyrics to perfectly describe a superbloom as their own personal experience, how they themselves “never thought that [they’d] survive” in this desert, yet they did. In this song, I heard God speaking to me in my own desert-like heart through these lyrics: “Never rained in the desert ‘til I picked me for the very first time. It’s darkest before the sunrise, that’s when I superbloom.”

Tears streaming down my face, my heart a spring in the drought, I finally felt seen by Him who was always there speaking to me in my desert—I just needed Him to talk a little louder, and He always does. Suddenly I understood that the desert wasn’t meant to destroy me, but to strengthen me. He wasn’t ignoring my suffering but helping me grow and bloom within it so I could become closer to the person He needs me to be. In the desert, through these lyrics, I finally heard Him clearly and better than I ever had before. He saw me, He never left me, and He was leading me home.

Things didn’t immediately change, but my spiritual life was renewed and filled with effervescent joy. Praying became easier, I was able to better control my attitude about and throughout my hardships, and I could handle the hurdles He put before me with gratitude for what I now knew He was doing.

Eventually, because of where He led me, I could finally superbloom into someone holier, more beautiful, more patient, and more myself than before. My heart had grown from a dry desert into a verdant flowerbed, and after that, He said it was finally time to leave the desert and to come home.

I urge you, my sisters in Christ, to humbly look where the Lord is leading you into desert-like struggle and to be open to the ways in which He wants to create a superbloom in your heart. Feeling lost and tired does not mean He is giving up on you, but rather, the Lord is growing your roots and preparing you to be the beautiful and thriving woman He needs you to be.

Lord who once

led me to the desert,

create a superbloom in my heart

that will last forever.

Amen.

 

Liz Homick is a second-year graduate student pursuing her M.S. in Library and Information Science at the University of Maryland, College Park. When she isn’t writing or studying to be a professional guardian of books, her friends and family can usually find her making puns, reading thirty books at once, or watching Disney movies on repeat. Liz swears by the oxford comma, Times New Roman font, spring daffodils, and unconditional kindness.