A To-Don’t List

April 8, 2025 // Tuesday of the Fifth Week of Lent

Read the Word // Open your Bible to today’s First Reading: Numbers 21:4-9

Reflect on the Word //

My list was growing longer as I jotted down what was weighing on my heart. Sitting in the beautiful space, surrounded by women with heavy burdens and great joys, I listened to the speakers of a women’s retreat as they asked me to write down my “stuff.” Well now, I thought to myself, Lord, do You have an hour, because this list is basically writing itself and I’m not even near finished. I raged. I lamented. I cried. I went numb. I turned in on myself, shoulders hunching, and eyebrows furrowing. Scribble, scribble—my son’s learning disabilities, my other son’s anger problems, my daughter’s mood swings, my other son’s impulsiveness, the baby’s sleep issues, exhaustion, work, bills, nutrition, exercise, all the things.  

I’m tired of it! It’s too much for one person! Lord, I can’t do it.

Well, My daughter. You’re not supposed to.

The children of Israel aired their grievances: “Why have you brought us up from Egypt to die in this desert, where there is no food or water? We are disgusted with this wretched food!” (Numbers 24:5) And I sat there and aired mine too. I felt that heart anguish and shook my metaphorical fists to the sky.

But the Lord knows our suffering; He asked the children of Israel to merely look upon the bronze serpent to live. He asks us to gaze upon Him as well, to see Him suffering with us on the Cross. He whispers to our weary, exhausted, hungry, and wretched hearts, I’ve got them, I’ve got this.

We each have heavy burdens and great joys. He wants them all from us. They aren’t ours to hoard and catalog, hide away, and shame. He wants us to give Him our lists and focus on what we can control—the disposition of our hearts.

Relate to the Lord // How will you position your heart towards Jesus today?