God uses everything in our lives for our good and our sanctity. However, it can be easy to doubt or dismiss certain situations, relationships, or sufferings as not part of God’s plan. The Saints, however, show us that adversity is a great tool for holiness.
Here are ten female Saints who not only overcame difficult situations, relationships, or social expectations, but also allowed their sufferings to bring them deeper into holiness.
Saints Who Faced Challenging Relationships
In the face of challenging relationships, the following Saints are ready to intercede for us:
Saint Katherine Drexel // Blended Families
Saint Katherine Drexel was born into a prominent Philadelphia family. Her mother died right after Katherine was born, and Katherine was raised by a loving stepmother. Though born into wealth, her parents taught her to be generous. Katherine felt called to religious life and founded an order to serve Native and African Americans. She established over one hundred missions throughout the United States, including Xavier University in New Orleans.
Saint Agnes of Assisi // Sibling Dynamics
Born Caterina, Saint Agnes was the younger sister of Saint Clare of Assisi and became her first follower. It is easy to imagine Agnes being in the shadow of her sister, the foundress of the Poor Clares. However, Agnes seemed to rise above the temptations that youngest siblings often face. At fifteen, she left home two weeks after Clare did, much to the same consternation Clare had encountered from their family. Chosen to start several other monasteries of the Poor Clares, Agnes experienced great homesickness and loneliness for her sister, expressed in letters back to Assisi. Saint Agnes died shortly after Saint Clare, remaining close until the end.
Saint Monica // Mothers + Difficult Marriages
Saint Monica is widely known as the mother of Saint Augustine, but her sanctity extends beyond her remarkable patience and persistent prayer for her son.
Born in Northern Africa, she was married at a young age to a Roman pagan. She endured much suffering in her marriage, living with her husband’s mother. Both her husband and mother-in-law had bad tempers, which Monica frequently faced. Her husband was unfaithful and refused to have their children baptized.
Her son, Augustine, withdrew from his mother due to his resistance to the faith, even trying to secretly move to Rome. However, Monica followed him, eventually reaching Milan, where she introduced Augustine to Saint Ambrose, who became his mentor and teacher.
Monica died at the age of fifty-six, shortly after witnessing the answer to her prayers: Augustine’s Baptism. While she didn’t live long enough to see him become a bishop or the great Saint that he is today, she did experience the fulfillment of her heart’s greatest longing in Augustine’s conversion.
Saint Thérèse of Lisieux // Loved Ones With Mental Health Struggles
Most of us know Saint Thérèse for her “Little Way.” While she can often be dismissed as “too flowery,” her life was not as idyllic as one might expect. Thérèse suffered physically in her last few years, but she also wrestled with the mental health struggles of her loved ones. Her father, Venerable Louis Martin, spent time in a psychiatric hospital. Her sister Leonie was abused as a child by a servant and entered and left several convents before finally persevering in religious life, which did not happen until after Thérèse’s death. These sufferings of her close family weighed on Saint Thérèse as reflected in her letters.
Saints for Our Own Deeper Conversions
When feeling stuck, overlooked, excluded, or frustrated, these Saints can offer prayerful encouragement:
Saint Teresa of Avila // Later Conversion
Most of us have some familiarity with “Big Teresa,” the Carmelite reformer and friend of Saint John of the Cross. However, it is good to be reminded that her own, deeper conversion came at the age of thirty-nine, when she had already been in her vocation for twenty years. She marked that as the pivotal moment of her life, where she began a life of deeper prayer, detachment, and mystical experiences. One thing that did not change, however, was her strong will and sense of humor. While not everyone liked this new Teresa (she even endured a lawsuit!)—in 1970, she was declared the first female Doctor of the Church.
Saint Gemma // Chronic Pain + Rejection
Saint Gemma was blessed to experience many mystical events throughout her life, including the stigmata. With that, she also endured many crosses. She suffered extensively from chronic ill health. She deeply desired to become a Passionist nun, but her poor health prevented her from being accepted. She died at twenty-five.
Saints to Help Us Share the Faith
When desiring to share the faith, here are Saints who can walk alongside us:
Saint Anne // Beloved Grandmother of Jesus
We can imagine our Lady sitting by her mother, Saint Anne, learning all she needed to make the house of the Holy Family a home. Many statues depict Anne teaching her young daughter, and we can ask her guidance in instructing those entrusted to our care. Though much of her life is rooted in tradition, there is much to be gained by contemplating Anne’s story.
Saint Catherine of Alexandria // Scholar + Eloquent Teacher
Martyred in 305, Saint Catherine of Alexandria was a renowned and intellectually gifted scholar. Her eloquence in philosophy and catechesis led to her martyrdom after she converted many of those sent to convince her to renounce her faith. She can intercede for us for the virtues of courage and clarity when speaking about the faith.
Saint Teresa Benedicta of the Cross (Edith Stein) // Philosopher + Martyr
Edith Stein is widely known for her martyrdom in Auschwitz. However, she also had a doctorate in philosophy. Born Jewish, Edith converted to Catholicism through an encounter with Jesus through Saint Teresa of Avila’s autobiography. Known for her intellectual prowess, she wrote profound essays on the genius of women. During World War I, she served as a nurse's assistant in an infectious disease hospital. Later, she worked as a translator and teacher. She eventually left her academic career to answer the Lord’s invitation to become a Carmelite nun. Arrested in the Carmelite cloister, she was martyred shortly thereafter in Auschwitz.
Saving the Best for Last
Of course, there is no better intercessor or perfect model of discipleship than our Blessed Mother Mary. She is eager to guide, love, and nurture our hearts and intercede for us to her Son. I think the Saints above would agree.
Whatever our need or desire, there are Saints to walk with us. Let us thank God for our heavenly friends and not forget them!
Sr. Mary Claire of the Holy Family is a member of the Society of Our Lady of the Most Holy Trinity (SOLT) and currently serves in Corpus Christi, TX. She loves Jesus and Mary, and her students would say every Saint is her favorite. She graduated with a degree in elementary education and is currently working on a Masters in Theology from her Alma Mater, Franciscan University. A Tennessee girl who could live off Dr. Pepper and popcorn, she loves road trips, especially this one we are on to Heaven.
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