This is the third post in a three-part series on the Holy Spirit. Read the first and second posts here and here.
I’m the type of person who loves routine, rhythms, and order. I create plans; I like schedules and am not afraid of taking the lead. While these qualities are good and useful in many situations, they detract from my relationship with the Holy Spirit. Jesus asks us to wait and to let the Holy Spirit lead. We see this when Jesus commissions His Apostles in Acts 1:4-5:
[H]e ordered them not to leave Jerusalem, but to wait there for the promise of the Father. 'This,' he said, 'is what you have heard from me; for John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.'”
Called to Wait
This is so counterintuitive to me. To sit, to listen, to wait, and then be sent forth. It is also the opposite of what our culture tells us to do. We are constantly being told to hustle, to do more, and to follow our ambition and whatever passion serves us. This approach is self-driven and doesn’t leave much space for the Holy Spirit to move and work in us. If we try to do things on our own, we put limits on God’s creativity.
If, on the other hand, we allow the Holy Spirit to lead, we embark on a grand adventure. We are passengers in the glorious ride God has planned for our lives. While this can feel intimidating, it takes the pressure off us. We don’t have to have the perfect plan or have it all figured out. We just need to be willing to listen and move where God calls us.
In the divine dance of our life and relationship with the Lord, the Holy Spirit is the leader. He is the One Who activates God’s plan in our lives. Our role is to surrender, to be docile and allow Him to move in us.
Softening Our Hearts Like Butter
When we grow in our relationship with the Holy Spirit, we must learn to exercise the muscle of docility—meaning we can be readily trained or taught. The Blessed Mother gives us an example of docility in her words to the angel: “Let it be with me according to your word” (Luke 1:38). She always united her will to God’s no matter what the cost. We can learn from her and become like her. As we develop this muscle, unlike in physical workouts, we find ourselves softening and more capable of surrender. As we grow in the ability to surrender, we become like softened butter.
I was in the kitchen the other morning, making eggs and toast for breakfast. I went to butter my toast and realized we didn’t have any left in our butter dish. I turned to the fridge and pulled out a new, cold stick of butter. If you’ve ever experienced this, you know that spreading cold butter on bread is the worst. The butter barely goes anywhere. It takes a lot of effort to try and spread the butter and, when the butter does go on, it comes off in little chunks and your bread often breaks in the process.
I sigh as I go through this process and little by little get a semblance of buttered toast. I think about how much easier it is to spread softened butter. The butter glides across the bread, it takes little effort, and it goes where I direct it.
In our spiritual lives, this is also how it can be when the Holy Spirit tries to work and move in us. When we are docile and open to God’s will, we are softened butter. The Holy Spirit can move and spread us easily; there is ease in the process and we can sense this peace. When we hold on to control or are trying to lead, the Holy Spirit can still move and work in us, but we are like cold butter. We are harder to work with; maybe only little pieces of our gifts or talents will be spread and there might be pieces that break in the process.
Surrender: A Daily Practice
There are places in my life where I have allowed my heart to soften and there are places where I am still holding on to control. It’s possible to have this dichotomy but the Lord’s desire is that we will allow Him to soften our hearts completely and allow Him to fully move and work in us.
Surrendering to the Holy Spirit is a daily practice. As cliché as the saying is—“Let go and let God”—there is a lot of wisdom in it. Below are a few ways that have helped me in my practice of surrender:
- Calling upon the Holy Spirit and inviting Him to work in me with the simple but powerful prayer: Come, Holy Spirit. This prayer helps me when the Holy Spirit feels far away.
- I also love a similar prayer of: Holy Spirit, stir in me. This reminds me that the Holy Spirit is always in me and ready to work.
- Praying the First Joyful Mystery of the Rosary, imagining myself saying along with Mary, “Let it be unto me.”
- Creating space to enter into quiet or stillness. As a mom of three it’s not easy to find quiet time, but when I do, it’s a game changer. Lighting a candle activates my senses and helps me be more present to feel the Holy Spirit moving.
- Meditating on Scripture and sitting with the Word of God. Using the technique of lectio divina can help create a structured way to engage more deeply with the Bible.
- Physically slowing down—love and hurry are incompatible. When I physically slow down, it resets my perspective. I have a row of stone pavers in my backyard, and I’ve started praying the Rosary while I step from paver to paver. I move forward one step as I move to a new bead in the rosary. This is a tangible way that I invite both my mind and body to slow down.
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Adoration is a beautiful opportunity to sit in the direct presence of Jesus and begin cultivating a relationship with the Holy Spirit.
What are ways that you have found helpful to create space to connect with the Holy Spirit? Do you feel like cold butter or softened butter in your spiritual life?
Rachel Clouser is a wife, mother of three young children, and full-time marketing executive living in Portland, Oregon. She’s continually seeking God’s grace in the rhythm of work and family life. She loves baking, getting lost in a good book, and exploring the outdoors with her kids. She finds peace in Adoration and feels especially close to the Lord in the natural beauty of the Pacific Northwest.
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