From a young age, I knew that I wanted to help people. It started in elementary school when I spent my recess taking care of a friend who had badly scraped her knees. I cleaned her wounds, put on bandages, and stayed with her to provide emotional support. Years later, when I graduated from high school, I decided to pursue a nursing degree.
Six years of college later, I finally achieved what I had worked so hard for. After years of studying for exams, thousands of dollars in student loan debt, and many tears shed, I walked across that graduation stage and was officially pinned as a Registered Nurse. Except, it was more of a waddle . . . because I was newly married and eight months pregnant with my first child. Immediately after earning my degree, I was at a crossroads: Should I work and put my daughter in daycare or stay at home with her?
Understanding Your Vocation
The call to be a wife and mother is a profound and personal journey. It recognizes the inherent value of nurturing a family. And it invites women to contribute to society in a unique way by raising the next generation.
Many women feel a deep calling to embrace these roles wholeheartedly. However, for some women, like myself, this calling is not immediate or natural. In fact, in modern society, the pursuit of a career can often take precedence, and the roles of wife and mother can be undervalued.
This post does not claim that full-time motherhood is superior to pursuing a career. But it offers inspiration for those who feel drawn to stay at home with their children. In addition, every family’s needs are different, and not every woman can stay at home full time. Therefore, this is always a private discernment between spouses and God for the good of the family.
Finding the Balance
Upon graduation from nursing school, I worked part-time for a pro-life pregnancy center and OB/GYN clinic. I balanced my time between family and my passion for nursing, but there were moments when I resented my inability to fully commit to work. I had to say no to several opportunities to grow in my career—such as extra certifications or higher positions—because they would take me away from my family.
Letting Go
When I was pregnant with my fourth child, God called our family to move to a different state. While I had to leave the job that I loved, the Lord invited me to let go and trust that good things were in store for me.
Sometimes, God has a funny way of inviting us to surrender our plans. Because when I began looking at job postings in our new state, I found myself pregnant again. And after I gave birth to another beautiful child and renewed my nursing license, I got pregnant yet again.
It took me a while to realize God was gently nudging me to embrace full-time motherhood. He knew that’s what my family needed the most, but I was stubborn, bitter, and insecure about accepting this change in my life.
The Lies of the Enemy
Growing up, my parents emphasized career over family, so I held on tightly to my identity as a nurse. I drew my validation and security from my title, and whenever I met someone new, it was one of the first things I told them about myself. Because to be “just a mom” felt pathetic and embarrassing.
I realized that the enemy was telling me a series of lies: Being a stay-at-home mom is oppressive, not pursuing a career means I’m lazy and unimportant, and most of all, personal passions and desires come first before anyone or anything else.
What God Says About Us
I turned to Holy Scripture to combat the enemy’s lies with God’s Truth. There, I found affirmation and validation in my vocation as wife and mother:
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. // Psalm 128:3
. . . they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited. // Titus 2:3-5
She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband too, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” // Proverbs 31:27-29
While the enemy’s lies are far from the truth, God’s Word showed me that being a stay-at-home mother is the most sanctifying work I will ever do. And the privilege of cultivating a fulfilling home environment is the greatest gift God has given me.
A Note for Young Women
When discerning college or career, vocation is not often factored into the decision. Many young women feel pressure to enter college and decide upon a particular field of study, but this clashes with the strong tug on their hearts to be a wife and mother.
As young women face big life decisions, including hefty student loan bills for a degree they may not enjoy or find useful, it is important to bring the following questions to prayer and discernment:
- What career paths would mesh well with marriage and family life?
- Which jobs could easily be put aside while I start a family?
- Which passions, skills, or trades can I pursue that I can eventually hand down to my children?
Working as a Team
When dating, be clear about expectations in order to find a spouse who aligns with your values. While some men want to have a dual-income household, others may hope to be the sole provider.
For women who are already married but feel called to transition to being a stay-at-home mom, even partially, communication with your husband is key. These conversations require love, understanding, and sacrifice. But through prayer and patience, the Lord can unite you even more in shared goals and vision for your family.
Finding Fulfillment and Purpose
Embracing the vocation of wife and mother is a courageous choice. As Christian mothers, it is our job to show our children the love of Jesus, to raise them in holiness, and to strive toward Heaven together while blazing a path for others to follow. What an absolute honor to be given this role, responsibility, and legacy.
What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind for your family? How can you redefine success in terms of your personal values and contributions rather than external measures of achievement?
Maggie Kim is a wife and mother to 6 kids living in the ATX area. She became a Catholic convert in 2013 after discovering her love for the Eucharist, Sacred Tradition, and the powerful intercessory prayers of the Saints. She is a former Registered Nurse and has a passion for the pro-life movement, Natural Family Planning, childbirth, and motherhood. In her free time, she likes to read fiction novels, drink coffee, and pretend to know what she's doing in her home gym. Her husband, Paul, is a Catholic speaker so she understands the ups and downs of ministry life but loves being able to serve in this God-given mission alongside her family. You can find out more about her here.
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