I didn’t know what a consecrated virgin was until three years before I became one.
For nearly a decade prior, I burned with the desire to belong exclusively to Christ while remaining in the world. Unfortunately, resources on the vocation of consecrated virginity were—and still are—scarce in my diocese, and it wasn’t until I googled “how to live as a nun without entering a convent” that I discovered the “perfect fit for how the Lord has created my heart to love” (Espoused to Christ, p. 76).
That’s why when I was offered the opportunity to review a new book on consecrated virginity, I couldn’t say yes fast enough.
A Love as Old as Time
Espoused to Christ: A Theology of Consecrated Virginity by fellow consecrated virgin Erin Kinsella spotlights the ancient and little-known vocation of “Consecrated Virginity Lived in the World” in a way that is thorough, authentic, and impressively accessible to every feminine heart. The book begins by outlining the nature of vocation as a whole, followed by the history and progression of the Ordo Virginum, which is the earliest form of consecrated life in the Church. I found the author’s explanation of its biblical roots and symbolism fascinating and informative, as well as her deep dive into the development of the liturgical rite, the decline of the Order, and its eventual resurgence under the Second Vatican Council, which ushered in “a new flowering” of consecrated virginity within the Church.
Spousal Love
Consecrated virgins are women who have been consecrated by their diocesan bishop to live in the world as chaste brides of Christ. At the heart of our call is the eschatological witness of the Kingdom to come through an intimate, exclusive, and indissoluble covenant with the Son of God. Consecrated virginity is a true marriage, and Kinsella is careful to point out that it is “still the only vocation in which the woman is understood to be mystically espoused to Christ” (p. 51). The author speaks so beautifully into the depth and reality of this nuptial union, and as I read, I caught myself thinking, I would choose my vocation all over again if I weren’t already consecrated!
Sacramental Love
In the nearly three years since my consecration, I have learned that there are constantly new and deeper levels of my vocation for my divine Bridegroom to reveal. Maybe it’s because I’m still a “baby consecrated virgin” as the author calls herself, but I was struck by several surprising elements Kinsella incorporates in her exploration of consecrated virginity.
One thing that I was surprised to read is that consecrated virgins are considered sacramentals: namely, sacred signs which point to God’s action in the world. This makes sense, since we are set apart as sacred persons, but I had never thought of myself as a sacramental before! I loved how the author walks us through the sacramental aspects of consecrated virginity, including her vivid definition of the virgin as “a living encounter with grace” (p. 116).
Her insights gifted me with a deeper understanding of my identity and opened my heart to a profound self-reflection on the fruitful disposal of my prayers and gifts, to which the faithful of the diocese have privileged access.
Suffering Love
As I read through Espoused to Christ, I admittedly skipped ahead to the chapter entitled “The Marriage Bed of the Cross,” because it speaks so directly to my soul.
After my consecration, the experience of sharing in the Cross of my crucified Spouse was almost immediate, as I became intimately acquainted with suffering in a specific way. I suffered before I became a consecrated virgin, of course, but post-consecration, it became increasingly clear that the Lover of my soul was entrusting me with a very precious portion of His own sufferings.
The author does a phenomenal job unpacking this mysterious and central layer of consecrated virginity. I was drawn to one quote in particular: “As spouses lay their lives down for each other and enter through inter-donation into the marital embrace, so a spouse of Christ comes to lay herself down in the very place Christ lays His life down, which is at the Cross” (p. 184).
Kinsella’s writing on this subject shines with the radiance of a heart that has been held in the nuptial embrace of the Cross, but has found deep-rooted joy in the promise of Resurrection. Readers who find themselves troubled or afraid to approach this type of union with Christ will be put at ease by the author’s elegant explanation of the beauty of redemptive suffering, as well as her choice to end the chapter with helpful (and hopeful) applications that assist in suffering well.
A Love Meant to Be Shared
When I showed this book to my spiritual director, he was ecstatic. Having accompanied me throughout my entire vocational journey and having experienced first-hand the challenges of unearthing enough practical and edifying aids to formation, he agreed that Erin Kinsella has gifted the Church with an absolute game-changer in advancing the vocation of consecrated virginity.
After reading her book, I believe it should be integrated into every woman’s formation program. In fact, I would not be surprised if dioceses eventually deem it required reading for discerners and candidates. Even women who are simply curious about the vocation or who feel a stirring in their hearts to go deeper but aren’t sure where to start will benefit from this book, as it offers insight, clarity, and practical wisdom for understanding and living out consecration through the compelling lens of the author’s own lived witness. I also appreciate how each chapter ends with related Scripture readings and reflection questions, providing excellent jumping-off points for prayerful discussion.
This book will definitely be at the top of my must-reads list for anyone who wants to learn more about consecrated virginity. I can’t wait to see how this resource encourages and injects hope into discerning hearts as they navigate their own unique journey toward intimacy with the Bridegroom. As for me, I’m looking forward to revisiting it again and again as my own vocation blossoms throughout the years.
A Love Like No Other
As much as I love my vocation, I agree with the author’s statement that “virginity is a charism and a grace that not all are called to” (p. 28). That being said, I am confident that this book will inspire many women to consider and embrace this sacred path. My prayer is that Erin Kinsella’s masterful work fosters a flourishing inclination for more women to give the gift of themselves to Jesus Christ, and in the spirit of bridal receptivity, respond to the ever-deepening call of His spousal Heart, no matter what state of life they are invited to embrace. And may they live out these words of Saint John Chrysostom: “For those who are loved enter fearlessly into the heart of their lover” (p. 11).
Cathy Webb is a consecrated virgin for the Diocese of Wilmington and the creator of the Sacred Heart to Heart prayer journal. A full-time Library Assistant, she finds joy in embracing the sacrament of the present moment and spreading the fragrance of Love everywhere she goes. She also treasures large cups of tea; her Chihuahua, Lucy; and anything Saint Therese. When she’s not writing and creating for the Kingdom, she can be found wearing a pretty dress while adoring the Heart of her Divine Spouse in the Eucharist. She is a contributing author to Blessed Conversations: Home. Find out more about her here.
Walk with Us this Advent
Get Your Prayerful Planner
