A Tax Collector's Heart for Jesus

It never occurred to me how much I took for granted of being able to receive Jesus in the Holy Eucharist of the Mass before the pandemic. We always had seats on Sundays with no reservations required, and Confession was always available.

The abruptness of not being able to attend Mass revealed to me the nakedness of my soul.

My heart had become like that of the Pharisee, not realizing that my good intentions of praying novenas, purchasing all of the Saint books on Amazon, attending weekly Mass, and all of the other Catholic things that I enjoyed revealed the truth: that I felt a sense of entitlement to all of these things.

How much I begged for His mercy and forgiveness when I went without receiving Him. The yearning in my heart started to take shape like that of the tax collector in today’s Gospel. I saw myself as I truly am and realized that I am nothing without Jesus Christ, my Savior and Redeemer.

I want to have the tax collector’s heart for Jesus and always be ready to cry out: “O God, be merciful to me a sinner” (Luke 18:13).

The more aware I am of my unworthiness, the greater my ability to experience His love and all that He has given to me. How liberating it is to know how much I depend on the Father’s mercy at each moment of the day!

The First Reading reminds us that “it is love that God desires, not sacrifice, and knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings" (Hosea 6:6). The books next to my nightstand and those in my online cart can misalign my relationship with Jesus if I allow them to.

I strive to live in the freedom of His love, not in a merit-based relationship. I previously had defaulted to getting to Mass early to catch up on all the time I had missed in prayer throughout the week.

But now, Jesus and I talk all the time, and I continue begging Him for His mercy, while ditching the cart load of online books.

[bctt tweet="Live in the freedom of His love. // Mytae Carrasco Wallace" username="blessedisshe__"]

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About Mytae Carrasco Wallace

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Mytae Carrasco Wallace is Las Vegas born and raised and holds a Masters in Public Administration. She and her husband have the privilege of leading Pre-Cana retreats for their home parish. On the daily you can find her raising her three kiddos, choreographing dance moves to entertain her children, and doing her own version of carpool karaoke. She was a contributing author to All She Had. Find out more about her here. Mytae es creada y nacida en Las Vegas, NV. Tiene su Maestría en Administración Pública. Ella y su esposo tienen el privilegio de dirigir los retiros de Pre-Cana para su parroquia. Diariamente puedes encontrarla criando a sus tres hijos, coreografiando movimientos de baile para entretener a sus hijos y cantando su propia versión de karaoke en el carro. Fue autora contribuyente de All She Had. Conozca la mejor aquí..