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Blessed Chats: Single Women // What I Had to Unlearn (and Relearn) About Dating

Blessed Chats: Single Women // Out of the Dating Dumps

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about life as single women. We'd love for you to join the conversation! What thoughts and feelings come up when you think of dating? If “ugh….” is your first visceral reaction, it could be helpful to explore why that is. Although dating can have it’s highs and lows, the process of getting to know people and ultimately choosing your life partner does not have to be filled with so much disappointment and dread. Get Out of the Dating Dumps Here are some tips to help you shift into a more positive experience along the dating process. Shift Your Mindset If the thought of dating makes your stomach tighten and makes you want to shut down, the first shift that needs to take place is in your mindset. If you are wanting to be in relationship but all your thoughts are already starting in a negative place, it is going to be difficult to find the kind of man you really want. Practical exercise // Begin to shift your mindset asking yourself, “What if it were possible to enjoy this process? What kinds of things can I learn along the dating process? What if it were possible to meet great guys and eventually my future husband with joy and ease?” Perhaps journal about this. Ask yourself, "What kind of thoughts toward men and dating could be more supportive for me in the kind of relationship and dating experience that I want?" Get Support Often, there are reasons why we continue to not get the results we want in relationship. Get help to explore what’s happening for you. What are your fears? How are you blocking love in your life? How do you show up in relationship? Where are there areas in your life of unresolved trauma or pain that has happened in your past? Do the inner work. If you want a man who is emotionally available, make sure you are also doing the work to be emotionally available and open and capable to receive another in relationship as well. Practical exercise // Go to therapy. Hire a coach. Get the help that will support you. Sometimes friends, though they mean well, do not always offer the best dating advice or the kind of support you may need. Be open to getting help and support. Investing in yourself and doing your own inner work is also a great gift to your future husband and children. Don’t underestimate this the value that this has on your ability to be in healthy relationship with others. Appreciate Men Sometimes single women say they long to be in relationship with a man, but they have so many hangups, judgments, and criticisms about men in general. Explore how this is for you. How do you feel towards men? What are your thoughts towards men? Learn to like men. Really like them. Learn about how men think, how they operate differently than women, learn about what they value and what is inspiring to them. You may have been hurt by men in the past, but there are many good and wonderful men in the world. Come to see and recognize the healthy men around you too. Practical exercise // Open your eyes. As you go about your day, notice the good things that men do. See how the work they do, how they serve and show up and provide and give and protect. See the wonderful ways that they make others’ lives better. Bonus points: Say thank you. Thank the men in your life for the gift they are to you and others (this could be a guy friend, your dad, brother, or someone you are dating). Additionally, show your appreciation by expressing what his effort provides for you (he will be able to hear and receive your words even more deeply in this way). WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Date I know that it’s easier to just pray novenas to Saint Joseph and hope that God brings your man straight to your doorstep, but if you are really wanting to meet your future husband, it’s important that you actually go out and date men. Be open. Allow men to give to you. Learn to receive from men. Set boundaries when you need to and in general, be warm, open, and available. Say yes more. Get to know a lot of guys. Connect with a lot of people. Allow men to give to you, to ask you out, to treat you to dinner, to get your phone number. Allow the dating process to help you get to know yourself better, to clarify what you want, and to be continual practice for important skills in relating to others in relationship. What you can learn through the dating process is so valuable in and of itself! Practical exercise // Create your online profile! Get over your hangups about online dating and just do it. Show up to places where good quality men are. You need to be visible and available so your man can actually find you! Be open to God bringing you your man through any means. Have Fun Dating doesn’t have to be so hard. It’s when we take things too seriously or put too much pressure on a single date or on a specific guy that things turn sour. Allow yourself to relax and to connect with men and get to know them. Get curious. Become excited about all the great guys you are going to meet and get to know and all the things you will learn about yourself and others along the process. Yes, dating can have its share of disappointment as well as terrible heartbreak. But it doesn’t have to end there. Dating can also be a fun and beautiful journey as you get to know yourself and get to know other guys along your discernment of who is ultimately the right man for you. Additionally, filling up our own lives with things we enjoy and love takes the pressure off dating. Practical exercise // Let go of the seriousness and pressure. Allow yourself to meet a lot of men and to have fun. Go on lots of dates and enjoy receiving from men. In the times when you are not dating, fill your life up with things that make you happy. Treat yourself, rest, meet your own needs, and take care of your body. A woman who lives a full vibrant life is highly attractive to a good man, and this will also be a great gift for your future relationship. Let Go and Let God Sometimes it doesn’t work out. You may experience many “no's” before your ultimate “yes.” This doesn’t have to be a problem. If a man is not showing up for you in the way you need or deserve, there is no need to spend any more time with him. There is no need to put energy into the guys who are not showing up for you in a respectful way. Simply let go and move on. Practical exercise // Practice the mental discipline of not spending time thinking or analyzing those guys who do not show up for you as you want. Move on. Focus on your self-care and put your energy into being visible for the men who show up for you in the ways you deserve. Pray Prayer is key. The vocation to marriage is ultimately a calling from God. If you feel called to this vocation and are longing for your future husband, use this time to prepare well. The pain and loneliness you may have already experienced along this path can also be offered to God as prayer (this can be a great gift to your future husband as well). God will use everything. Practical exercise // Pray for your future husband. Pray for all those whom you will meet along your journey. Pray that you may develop the gifts and virtues your future husband will need from you. Additionally, allow your prayer to be expressed in action. Your inner work and perseverance through the discomfort and awkward moments of dating can ultimately bear fruit in an abundance of love and joy. Surrender the dating process to God, and allow God and His angels and saints to bless you and guide you. God will not let you down. We want to hear YOUR story. Please share in the comments below! And if you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today. [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Single Women // Out of the Dating Dumps #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

How to Be a Spiritual Encourager

I said, “Yes,” to the invitation to join a Bible study unlike any Bible study I had ever attended. This one did not include reading and studying Scripture; it was a practicum on praying with Scripture or lectio divina. Each week, our leader gave us three Scripture verses to pray and an accompanying grace for which to ask. As we prayed with Scripture, we noted words and phrases that stood out. We listened to how the Lord spoke to us through them, we observed our internal responses, and we learned how to enter into a conversation with Him. This Bible study, or better yet, this prayer practicum did not just teach us how to pray. It also taught us how to encourage one another in our prayer patterns and in our unique spiritual journeys. Spiritual Encouragement Requires Listening While we shared our prayer time experience with one another, we were only expected to listen. In fact, we were not permitted to give any feedback! Why? Because it compelled us to listen without trying to simultaneously conjure up a response. For when we listen to someone, while also thinking about our response, we focus less on the person talking and more on ourselves. Likewise, when we are listened to intently, without worrying about the feedback we may receive, we are allowed to truly feel heard, and as a result, we genuinely feel cared for. Yes, listening to another gives that person the gift of being heard. And that is a powerful and beautiful gift, indeed. Less is More Throughout my experience in this prayer practicum, I discovered that spiritually encouraging someone is much simpler, much quieter than I ever realized. It does not require me to have all the answers. It simply requires my presence and attentiveness. Of course, this is completely counter cultural and even counter intuitive. Perhaps that’s why it is so powerful, especially in our noisy culture. While my experience was in a group setting, I have been able to apply my lessons in listening and quietly encouraging to conversations with friends. Now, when I meet with a sister who needs spiritual encouragement, I may not remain completely silent, but I continue to practice saying less. Spiritual Encouragement in Eight Steps Here are eight tips for spiritually encouraging another sister in Christ: Pray for Guidance Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. // Psalm 141:3 Before your conversation, ask the Holy Spirit for guidance. Silently invoke the intercession of the Blessed Mother and your Guardian Angel. Listening Attentively You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. // James 1:19 When we find the word listen in the Bible, often it references the people of God not listening to the Lord. And oh, how not listening gets them into trouble! On the other hand, biblical listeners include Samuel (1 Samuel 3:10), Mary of Bethany (Luke 10:39), and Lydia (Acts 16:14). And they were blessed with God’s favor. This demonstrates how important listening is to God; not only to Him but also to one another. Be Comfortable With Quiet The effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever. // Isaiah 32:17 At first, it may feel awkward to listen more than talk. Practice letting the quiet linger. Let the silent moments remain unfilled. Perhaps it will give your sister in Christ the encouragement to keep sharing. Express Compassion As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. // Colossians 3:12 Quiet compassion—offering sympathy or empathy—could be as simple as nodding your head, smiling, keeping eye contact, offering a tissue, or giving a hug or hand squeeze. These simple gestures go a long way in offering encouragement to another. Ask Follow-up Questions The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple. // Psalm 119:130 Clarifying questions allow us to encourage someone, while at the same time letting the other person continue to process and feel listened to. Here are a few to consider: What do you think about that? How does that make you feel? Have you gone through something like this before? Positively Reassure Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. // Proverbs 16:24 After listening, reiterate what you heard and offer reassuring words of comfort. Validate how difficult her situation may be, how sorry you are for what she has to endure, and how brave she is. Then, encourage your sister to see what God is doing in her life. Express how you see God walking with her. Describe a virtue you admire in her. Share a particular Scripture verse or saint that could offer her consolation. Invite Her Into Prayer Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. // 1 Peter 5:7 Encourage your sister to bring her struggle to the Lord, placing it at the foot of the Cross, before the Blessed Sacrament. If she does not know how to do this, walk her through some simple steps. Offer to pray with her, leading by example. Follow Up Therefore encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing. // 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Continue to encourage your friend by calling or texting her. Send her a letter in the mail. Bring her coffee. Keep praying quietly but fervently for her, for “the prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). How do you spiritually encourage someone? In what ways has someone encouraged you? [bctt tweet="How to Be a Spiritual Encourager #BISblog //" via="no"] HIS WORD CHANGES LIVES God is speaking to you through His Word. In this personal study, you will learn to hear God's voice by reading slowly and praying deeply. BEGIN THE JOURNEY

Worldly Comfort as an Ideal: How to Combat It

I remember when we got married, I joked with my husband that I missed the graffiti from my inner city neighborhood. It’s not that graffiti is something to be applauded (especially the kind that defaces property); however, it was a frequent reminder that my external environment reflected the people who lived around me. The neighborhood I grew up in never hid the daily struggles that the people were enduring. I took comfort in that. I took comfort in knowing that none of us pretended to live perfect lives and that we all dwelt in the discomfort of our obstacles together. Worldly (Dis)Comfort The realities of someone else’s suffering didn’t escape me. It didn’t disappear from my memory like driving by a homeless man off the highway and then moving on with my day. Instead, these social issues were in front of me daily—women pushing their children in grocery carts along with their folded laundry, homeless people walking to Catholic Charities, travelers walking to the nearby Greyhound station, homeless people begging near one of the highway off ramps (typically in pairs so they could split what little they received for the day), a pedestrian crossing the street while talking to himself (an indication of needing medical care and attention), stray dogs aimlessly looking for food as well as other social injustices that were part of everyday life. I didn’t have to go very far to see the needs of my community. All of this offered me plenty for me to pray for and opportunities for me to get over myself and identify with the plight of other human beings. Appearances Don’t Conceal the Need for Human Connection The first time I felt the disparity of where I came from was when I began to nanny outside of my neighborhood during my teenage years. I remember pulling into a guard gated community and looking at the wrought iron gates, wondering why anyone would need a security guard and gates. In my naiveté I thought, “Surely these people must have a lot that needs protecting.” I remember how perfect everything looked. Everyone’s trees were trimmed precisely, the lawns were all in sync and followed the same green color pattern as the rest of the homes I passed by (which I later realized was synthetic grass). To be clear, there is nothing wrong with desiring to live in a safe community or in a place that provides opportunities to live a comfortable lifestyle; however, there can be a detachment from what is going on in the rest of the world. This detachment can lead to a forgetfulness of other people who may not lead the same lifestyle. The security our surroundings offer us shouldn’t remove the innate desire each of us has to offer compassion and love to the other person. This sense of security can convince us that we don’t need to get to know our neighbor or the community around us. Getting Outside of Yourself and Your Comfort Zone Our surroundings shouldn’t keep us from being at the service of other people. It is through our presence and the way we live our lives daily that shows people we are Christians. Ultimately it doesn’t take having to live in an impoverished area or low-income neighborhood to learn the needs of the people around you. Anyone can write a check, but the difference is when you are on the ground. When you walk with people right where they are. When you spend time getting to know someone you can identify the longings and needs of that person regardless of their socioeconomic status. Our security should prompt us to give more and go outside of ourselves because we have the means to live in comfort and our hearts are moved to help other people have the basic human needs that they need for that day. In imitation of our Master, we Christians are called to confront the poverty of our brothers and sisters, to touch it, to make it our own and to take practical steps to alleviate it. // Pope Francis Ultimately it’s the way your witness attracts others to Christ. How do you treat the mailman, the waste collector, the Amazon delivery driver, the street sweeper, the store clerk, or the janitor? Do you look up from your grocery cart or your walk and acknowledge the people around you? Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. // Mother Teresa Ideas to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone Adopt a local or refugee family Give toys to a foster care facility Send care packages to prisoners Keep bus passes on hand to help someone with transportation or gift cards to McDonalds to alleviate someone’s hunger Make hygiene kits for the homeless Organize a clothing drive for homeless youth It doesn’t take much more than sheer desire to do something for others It doesn’t always have to be monetary, either. Consider all the towels in your linen closet, the extra toothbrushes under your sink from your last dental visit, the fuzzy socks that keep you warm at night with your matching pajamas. The work of forgetting ourselves is done little by little. The commodities of our lives should move us towards selflessness; although, we know the closer we are to convenience, the further we become detached to the needs of others. Baking something or cooking a meal instead of buying it can show your generosity as well. Let it cost you your time and think about who you are giving it to. Do it with love. Instead of purchasing that non-essential item at Target that wasn’t on your list to begin with, put it back on the shelf and deny yourself that thing and think of someone else who doesn’t have the ability to get off of the list. Instead of drying your clothes line dry them and offer it up for someone who doesn’t have the convenience of a dryer and has to walk to the laundromat every week. I distrust a charity that costs nothing and does not hurt because real poverty hurts and dispossession—what we can give up in order to help and enrich others by our own poverty... would not be valid without this penitential dimension. This is the exhortation to bear witness to the Gospel message to those who live in material, moral and spiritual poverty. // Pope Francis Growth in Holiness It is a balance that can be difficult to achieve but once we ask Jesus to show us the way to make ourselves comfortable in the discomfort of our surroundings, we can begin to grow in virtue and holiness. The good news of the Gospel equips us to see beyond our own needs and difficulties, allowing us to make the struggles of others our own—not in a way that causes us grief or desperation, but in a way that allows us to love and be beacons of hope to others. [bctt tweet="Worldly Comfort as an Ideal: How to Combat It #BISblog //" via="no"]

Finding Ways to Care for Yourself (Ideas Beyond Self-Care)

#selfcare. It’s what we might say when we buy the large mocha with an extra shot of espresso or impulsively buy the dress in the store window. Or if you’re like me, you’ve attempted to squeeze in self-care by watching a movie on the couch while simultaneously using your laptop, or by listening to an audiobook as you’re scrubbing the floor. Both are great forms of multi-tasking, but none of these examples actually achieve authentic care of self. #Selfcare Vs: #Treatyourself Oftentimes the culture seems to paint self-care as self-indulgence. Speaking from experience, certain indulgences like a new item of clothing and having a fancy espresso in hand can put a pep in my step. Yet these purchases are not a means of deeply caring for my body, mind, and soul. Multi-tasking while doing something I enjoy doesn’t fit the bill, either. While he may not have used the term selfcare, St. Paul of the Cross offers us guidance saying, “Refresh your mind with some innocent recreation and needful rest,” even “if it were only to saunter through the garden or the fields.” Of course, in the wintertime there are rarely any gardens or wildflower fields to be found, and maybe that wouldn’t be your form of renewal anyway, and that’s where we have to do a little work. True self-care requires self-discipline, we have to discover what caring for ourselves actually looks like. So while I became more aware of my tendency to do multiple things at once, I decided I wanted to correct my bad habit. Ways to Care for Yourself Here is how I am trying to take better care of my body, mind, and soul this year. Making A Priority While I am not one to make New Year’s Resolutions, I was noticing how I was longingly looking at books placed all over my house that I have been wanting to read for quite some time. The thought came to me to try to find audiobook versions so that I could get through the books more quickly. But relaxation and rejuvenation didn’t come to mind when I recalled the last time I cleaned the house while trying to keep my headphones in my ears. As my stack of books around the house started growing, I decided to do something that would provide me the time to actually sit down and savor them. In order for that to happen I had to make reading a priority. I decided to commit to reading for thirty minutes each day. This took self-discipline. I had to pause the washing of the dishes, or opt to sit down instead of jump on the elliptical, but once I got into the habit of doing it, it became a half hour that I protected and anticipated. Before long, I had finished the book on my nightstand, read through my spiritual reading book and the one lent to me from a friend. I already love reading, but once I saw how fast I could go through books when I actually read them, it became even more addictive. What is Your Form of Self-Care? Self-care can take on a variety of forms. Maybe your refreshment comes from something more along the lines of what Saint Thomas Aquinas says about sorrow being “alleviated by good sleep, a bath, and a glass of wine.” Or maybe it’s closing your eyes and listening to a relaxing playlist (I highly recommend Debussy’s Clair de Lune). Journaling or Letter Writing How often do we put pen to paper these days? When we want to add bread or milk to our grocery list we don’t even need to touch our screen, we can simply ask Siri. But there is something therapeutic in actual handwriting. Huffpost wrote that handwriting can help with memory retention, speeds up physical healing, promotes positivity, and improves overall quality of life. In fact, a study done by the University of California showed that those who keep a nightly gratitude journal were found to have better overall rest! Cooking Cooking is an art form! I do not claim to be a seasoned chef, but I have a growing love and appreciation for it. From intentional meal planning to pulling out a tender filet of salmon from the oven, I think there can be a sense of calm and joy throughout the process. Especially with bread baking! Oh the sweet satisfaction of watching a kneaded ball of dough transform into a beautifully braided and glossy Challah. Plus, there's the added stress-reliever of punching the dough and kneading it down. Watercoloring The subtlety of watercolors have the ability to make a wanting blank piece of paper into a masterpiece. I have several friends who are soothed through the peaceful process of this art form, one which can be savored in silence or accompanied with music or an audio book. I recently received the gift of watercolor pencils and have found calm through the soft blending of water and color and experimenting with different designs. Going For a Walk It is not news that exercise pumps up endorphins, leaving you with a spring in your step. That being said, I am writing from the Midwest where it is currently -2 degrees outside. It’s not exactly a good day for walking, and to be honest, cold weather isn’t easy for me. But come weather in the twenties and thirties, you’ll find me mustering up the courage to brave the chill, because I know it is always worth it. My daughter and I will bundle up and overcome the snowy hurdles as we change up our scenery from our four walls to the rolling hills and ponds of our neighborhood trails. Every walk we go on, I return home with the good feeling of blood pumping through my veins and renewed energy. God’s Goodness With the changing of the season comes a fresh and exciting opportunity to change up our rhythm of life and incorporate more rest and leisure. With leisure comes wonder, contemplation, and a greater appreciation for the goodness of God's creation. As author Josef Pieper wrote: When we really let our minds rest contemplatively on a rose in bud, on a child at play, on a divine mystery, we are rested and quickened as though by a dreamless sleep. How will you care for yourself today? [bctt tweet="Finding Ways to Care for Yourself (Ideas Beyond Self-Care) #BISblog //" via="no"]

Weekly Wallpaper // 265

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life. // John 3:16 Love this print from Remilla Ty from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this for free! Log in and download! Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Word Before World

“In the morning, when I rise, give me Jesus.” These song lyrics have been sitting on my heart lately. I long to begin my day by diving into quiet time spent with Jesus, but if I’m being completely honest, it feels like an impossible task most days of the week. Prior to the pandemic, I carved out 10 minutes before work to pray the daily readings and Blessed is She daily devotional. This, plus my mug of warm coffee, helped me start my day on a positive note. During my commute to work, I listened to a Rosary podcast. This gave me grace and strength to handle each day. However, like most people, when COVID-19 began, my morning routine fell apart. Since I was teaching remotely, my prayer time kept getting pushed later and later into my day. I was often greeted with a surplus of urgent emails that needed my attention before I was even out of bed. Without my morning commute, I struggled to find time to listen, let alone pray, the Rosary every day. Less than three short months later, our first daughter was born. While she is truly the greatest joy, her arrival added to my lack of morning prayer routine. Most days, I woke up groggy from interrupted sleep. By the time I fed her, changed her, did tummy time, and got her down for her first nap, I needed a nap myself. I knew without quick access to the sacraments and entering a new life stage, I desperately needed a way to bring more fruitful prayer time into my day. But how? How to Put the Word Before the World Are you also struggling to prioritize time with Jesus first thing in the morning? Is your heart longing for the comfort of His Word before the world gets in the way? Maybe as a student there doesn’t seem to be enough time to connect with Him before a busy day of class. Maybe you have a handful of children at home with you, and between virtual learning and parenting, it feels like there is never any time available for prayer. Or maybe you’ve never developed a consistent prayer routine and aren’t sure how to start. I understand where you are, sister. Let’s walk through an action plan to put His Word before the world’s. Start Small The most important thing I’ve realized since my daughter was born is that I have to handle tasks in small chunks. This can be a big struggle for me. I want to go all in, but this season of life and vocation God has called me to requires setting aside my desires for His. None of us would prepare for a marathon by starting with a 20-mile run, so why do we expect the same in our spirituality? Instead of planning 30 minutes of Lectio Divina every day, I start first with the Morning Offering. This short prayer is perfect to say as I hear my daughter stirring on the monitor. I love meditating on this simple prayer and starting my day with these words instead of an Instagram scroll. Prepare for Challenges During my years of teaching in a challenging elementary school, I learned to anticipate behavior so I could be proactive instead of reactive. Instead of hoping my student with behavioral difficulties would magically wake up on the right side of the bed, I found ways to prepare myself for the challenges before they happened. This is essential in our prayer routine, too! Are you frequently interrupted by text messages, urgent work emails, little toddlers, or a noisy roommate? Anticipate these challenges ahead of time and have back up plan for when you can’t devote your time to prayer in your preferred way. This may be by offering up the annoyance for the suffering of a friend or family member. It could be popping on Fr. Mike Schmitz’s Bible in a Year Podcast while you feed your children breakfast. It could mean starting your lunch break reading the Gospel instead of picking up your iPhone. Whatever it looks like for you, commit to one easy replacement for the tough days. Find a Realistic Routine In the perfect world, I’d wake up every day an hour before my daughter to get dressed, have breakfast, and spend time with Jesus. But as much as I wish I lived in the perfect world, I certainly do not. Instead, I pick 1-2 days a week where I do get up before her. This time has become such a fruitful gift in my life. I am able to really sit with the readings and allow God’s Word to fill my heart before news headlines get thrown at me. I have found when I prioritize this time, I feel so much less anxious. Some days, I only get 10 minutes into this time before little cries come through the monitor earlier than normal. However, I can then reach for my back up plan. I also love to remember what my spiritual director shared with me when I was pregnant and anxious about finding time for prayer. She said, “You were called to this vocation on purpose. Jesus isn’t asking you to give Him perfect time every day. He might be asking you to sacrifice your need to finish all the laundry and just sit with Him. Or He could be asking you to offer up a prayer while you nurse your baby. If you’re open to Him, He’ll find a way to meet you where you are.” Limit Distractions If you only have 5-10 minutes to pray in the morning, make sure to keep your distractions at bay. Silence your iPhone, sit outside, hide in the bathroom, whatever it takes! I love reading the daily readings straight from my email on my iPhone, but I’ve learned it’s way too tempting to click on text messages that come through instead of staying present to God’s Word. Now, I put my phone in the other room and access the readings from my computer instead. Make Prayer a Part of Your Community Our spirituality isn’t meant to be experienced alone, and one of the best ways to engage in His Word is through friendship with others. If you’re in a season of life where you can participate in a virtual Bible Study or read the Mass readings with a friend over Facetime, do it! Can you go to Daily Mass once a week? Are you able to drop by Adoration for 15 minutes before heading into work? Is there a religious book you’ve been eyeing? Send a copy to a friend asking her to join you. There are so many ways to connect with others while striving towards your spiritual goals. Don’t be afraid to ask a friend to keep you accountable. My husband and I have recently devoted one day a week to saying the Rosary together. Having this time together to reflect on the mysteries provides grace for the tough days. Begin Again Friend, are you ready to join me in pursuing His Word before the world’s? Start simple, bring what you have, and know it will bear great fruit. We’ve already seen what He can do with a meager offering of loaves and fish, and He is waiting to bless you with an overflowing abundance too. [bctt tweet="Word Before World: How to Pray at the Start of the Day #BISblog //" via="no"] Mary Fuelling is a former teacher turned stay-at-home mom in Fort Worth, TX. Her favorites include coffee, dark chocolate almonds, and all things Marian. In her free time, she enjoys reading, exercising, and cooking. WANT TO DEEPEN YOUR PRAYER? Get ready to be radically changed by the Lord and His presence. Be drawn into intimacy with the Lord by way of weekly videos, a community within the Blessed is She app, and invitations into reading scripture in a whole new way. BEGIN THE WELL: ABIDE

Catholic Baby Registry (Catholic Gift Ideas for a Baby Shower)

One of the most common inquiries I see and hear within Catholic Facebook groups is for gift recommendations for newborn babies. It’s a popular topic that yields lots of comments, so it seems beneficial to derive a list of Catholic shops with beautiful items for babes. With Spring fast approaching, it seemed like the perfect way to share in the traditional time of celebrating new life! Catholic Baby Registry Gift Ideas CheruBalm You know that dreamy, newly-baptized baby smell? Now there’s a way to keep your baby smelling like that no matter what day it is! CheruBalm is a small line of high-quality, natural, and convenient skin balm available in three Catholic themed scents. “Chrism” brings scent-memories of that once-in-a-lifetime sacrament. “Silent Night” smells of lavender and chamomile and is perfect for application right before bedtime. Lastly, “Flowers from Heaven” smells of rose geranium and is inspired by the Saint Therese. No matter which scent you chose, you can rest assured that your balm is 100% all natural, with no synthetic or petroleum-based ingredients. For those wondering, it is even compatible with cloth diapers! Outrageous Mom.com This Catholic maker offers a set of exquisitely knit Holy Family dolls with which any child would be drawn to play. They are truly eye-catching! Another similar product offered is their teether-rattle combo which is made of a wooden ring and knit pima cotton which can be purchased as a Holy Family set, or individually as Mary, Saint Joseph, or the child Jesus. Handmaiden Creations With a name that nods to the devotion with which these items were made, and also who they honor, this Catholic-owned shop carries cotton and Muslin swaddles. Hand-dyed in small batches with details of gold, each of the various colors offered makes for an inviting sight! Whether you choose Our Lady of Guadalupe or the Divine Mercy swaddle, you can be certain your heart will be inspired to pray that your child will be wrapped in heavenly goodness each time you wrap your her in its luscious softness. Caelesti Co. An Etsy shop designed to clothe any baby with Christ from “head to toe, heart and soul,” Caelesti Co. is full of delightfully handmade organic pieces. For nighttime necessities, take a look at their swaddles, sleepers, and knotted gowns—many of which are made with unique Catholic-themed prints. For daytime accessories, check out their adorable bonnets available in gingham and floral prints, as well as in prints that honor the Nativity and Saint Lucy. Their organic teether sets (which honor Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati, the Irish Saints, and Our Lady of Kibeho) include a bib, a handmade paci clip, and a wooden lovey-style teether. More products are always being added to the store so be sure to check it out for more beautiful Catholic creations. Annunciation Designs An impeccable olive green muslin blanket dotted with lilies and the words, “St. Kateri, pray for us” would make a sweet and practical gift for any newborn babe. Pair it with the Future Saint Water Reveal Book and Dry Erase Activity Cards, and baby will have goodies to bring to Mass in the following years to help them focus and learn about the most precious mystery of our faith. Thy Olive Tree Looking for a keepsake that captures not only developmental milestones, but also a child’s relationship with their Creator? My Catholic Keepsake Baby Memory Book may be just what you are seeking! Modern in design and built for durability, these memory books contain spaces to record important sacramental events of a child all the way through high school. Meadowcress Boutique With a wide variety of organic cotton baby bonnets and bibs, you are sure to find a pattern and style perfect to your liking. Marian patterns honor Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and Our Lady of Kibeho. Saintly designs include Saint Joseph, Saint Therese, Saint Francis of Assisi, and the Holy Family Hearts. All items are made to order and restocked regularly, so even if a favorite item is unavailable, it will return to the shop soon! Blessed is She readers can get 10% off any bonnet with the code: BISBONNETS. His Girl Sunday This small business offers hand-painted wooden peg dolls made in the hopes of inspiring prayer within every “domestic church.” Created with exquisite detail, peg dolls offered portray a wide variety of the Communion of Saints, and also include a few beloved literary characters such as Gandalf and Bilbo Baggins. Little Praying Hands What better way to teach a Catholic babe about the intercession of Mary than with a Rosary Ring Chew? A 100% food grade silicone ring designed to look like a traditional decade ring, this Catholic baby teether is easy to hold and easy to clean! The best part is probably its affordability! Betty Jo Sews A plethora of baby goodness awaits you at this store. Plush (and silent) saint dolls and fabric books are ideal companions to bring along to Mass. Handmade saint pennants are perfect for any nursery. And my personal favorites are the baby leggings that don patterns of the Sacred Heart, Our Lady, and the beloved Catholic author G. K. Chesterton. Saintly Heart A wooden toy company that aligns faith with play! Saintly box sets introduce children to the heroes of our Catholic faith.The Francis Friends Lacing Set provides opportunity to develop fine motor skills. Temporary Saint tattoos are colorful and fun to show off! And the Saint Joseph Workshop Chunk Puzzle is the perfect gift for any baby born in the year of Saint Joseph! Meyer Market Designs This shop offers a variety of inspiring Catholic goodies. Our favorites for Catholic babies include the stuffed saint dolls, and the ultra soft throw blanket with the inspirational quote, “Do not be afraid to be saints!” The Little Rose Shop This lovely shop has a superabundance of soft and snuggly items perfect for a new baby—and even the older kids! Their blankets and pillow cases are beautifully designed with traditional prayers as the patterns. They also offer personalized pillows and blankets asking for the intercession of your child’s patron saint! Pair one of those with a gorgeous custom saint doll (restocked seasonally) and your child is sure to sleep surrounded by grace. Fiat to Halo A business that prides itself in assisting little ones in learning to play while they play! Their Cozy Rosaries are lusciously soft blankets that can be used for tummy time while babe is young. As they grow, the Rosary pattern printed on the blanket will help young ones participate in your family Rosary in an age appropriate way. Kids may walk, scoot, or move a toy from bead to bead on the Rosary as your family prays. You may even find that your little one enjoys it so much he will even use it when he is playing by himself! Just Love Prints If you’re in need of nursery decor, this Catholic small business is a good place to look! From inspiring prints of baby Jesus and the Holy Family, to traditional prayer prints, coloring pages, a Catholic alphabet, and personalized name prints, you may find yourself with a cart full of goodies for your favorite little one! Chews Life A business with a passion for babies, Chews Life is probably best known for their variety of charming silicon teething products (including full rosaries, decade rosaries, enlarged saint medals, and pacifier clips). However, they also offer adorable Emmaus crib shoes and saint snacker bibs, as well as an adorable Mary pacifier doll. Shining Light Dolls Shining Light Dolls is a Catholic business teeming with products and activities to encourage kids to grow in their faith.Their classic saint dolls include a variety of saints from around the globe and are attractive, durable, and the perfect size for tiny hands! The plush dolls are larger, softer, but just as well-designed, helping children to associate the peace and comfort with Jesus, Mary, and the saints. Baby Books There are so many newly published children’s books designed to help a child grow in their faith. A few of our favorites include… A is for Angel: The Alphabet in Sacred Art // This remarkable book combines truth and beauty by combining basics of the Faith with religious masterpieces. Cloud of Witnesses: A Child's First Book of Saints // A cute introduction to the Catholic Communion of Saints. Father Ben Gets Ready for Mass // A fun and interactive way for young ones to learn about the source and summit of our Faith! A Little Catholic's Book of Liturgical Colors // An age-appropriate, rhyming introduction to the liturgical colors your baby will see at Mass. This is the Church // The stunning illustrations will grasp the attention of any reader (young or old) as you teach your child about the story of Salvation History. Lily Lolek: Future Saint // A sweet story of a young girl with the dream of becoming a saint. God’s Glorious Girl // A book which speaks truth about the brave, strong, and kind woman each girl was created to be! All of these are perfect for sticking in the diaper bag and bringing to Mass! What’s your favorite thing to gift to newborn babies? Have a favorite shop we didn’t mention? Share your go-tos with us in the comments! [bctt tweet="Catholic Baby Registry (Catholic Gift Ideas for a Baby Shower) #BISblog //" via="no"] This post includes affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

One Year In

On March 27, 2020, a rainy evening in Rome, Pope Francis stood overlooking an eerily-empty Saint Peter’s Square. Around the entire world, Catholics set aside their work and woke from their sleep to join the Holy Father from their homes. Mere weeks into the pandemic that forced people from practically every country to stay behind their closed doors, the Pope offered us an Urbi et Orbi message and a blessing. This month marks one year since the COVID-19 pandemic reached the United States, with some countries affected a few weeks prior, still others following soon after. For Americans, though, this is the month when everything changed. We had no idea at the time that we were looking at anything more than two weeks’ worth of canceled school and remote work. One step at a time, though, more pieces of our daily lives were chipped away at, and before we knew it, the virus had reached our own doorsteps. Whether that looked like our own illness, the illnesses of people we know, grief for lost loved ones, or grief for missed moments or dreams that we may never get back, this pandemic has affected us all. We are a year in, sisters—and while I wish those were words I never had to say, here we are. As we approach this milestone, I turned back to the encouragement and wisdom that our Holy Father shared with us last March. In the Eye of the Storm His message was based on the Gospel of Mark, chapter 4, in which Jesus and the Apostles loaded into a boat after a long day of preaching and serving. As Our Lord slept, a violent storm began. Violent winds whipped around them. Waves crashed over the edge of the boat, threatening to fill it with water. Remember, four of the Apostles were experienced fishermen. A few waves would not be enough to strike the fear of death into their hearts—this storm must have been truly terrifying. Finally, they ran to the Lord. They woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?’ // Mark 4:38 How familiar their cries sound! At this time last year, our prayers, too, were frantic, panicked. It felt as though we could sink at any moment. Pope Francis offered us this encouragement: It is easy to recognize ourselves in this story. What is harder to understand is Jesus’ attitude. While his disciples are quite naturally alarmed and desperate, he stands in the stern, in the part of the boat that sinks first. And what does he do? In spite of the tempest, he sleeps on soundly, trusting in the Father; this is the only time in the Gospels we see Jesus sleeping. When he wakes up, after calming the wind and the waters, he turns to the disciples in a reproaching voice: ‘Why are you afraid? Have you no faith?’ (Mark 4:40). Because He does respond—immediately. At the Apostles’ cry, Jesus rises and quite literally makes the storm that was threatening their lives only moments before disappear. When you think of that instant response now, a year into the pandemic, do you feel a little envious? I have to admit that I do. We Are Still in the Boat In many ways, our storm has changed. If you've finally reached a rhythm of working remotely or being back in your office in a safe manner, perhaps it feels like a break in the rain, though the thunder is still rolling in the distance. Maybe you’re a year into homeschooling or overseeing virtual school for your children, doing your best to care for their hearts alongside their minds and bodies. In that case, it may feel more like a persistent drizzle that is manageable on most days, but won’t let up, no matter how many days you peer out the window hoping for sunshine. It may not be over yet, but maybe that means God isn’t quite finished with all that He has in store for us through this experience. “They were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this whom even wind and sea obey?’” (Mark 4:41). Are we there yet? In awe of our powerful God, trusting that yes, even still, this is all in His loving hands? The storm may have changed, passed in some ways and howling on in others. Regardless of how the pandemic is currently affecting each of us, there is no denying that we are still in the boat. The comfort and familiarity of the shore remains a ways away. That means the water still surrounds us; so much could still change at a moment’s notice. Above all else, we must trust Him. We must pray for such deep faith in God’s care for us that we, too, can sleep in the stern, no matter what wind and waves rage around us. Let Him in the Boat, Too Let us invite Jesus into the boats of our lives. Let us hand over our fears to him so that He can conquer them. Like the disciples, we will experience that with Him on board there will be no shipwreck. Because this is God’s strength: turning to the good everything that happens to us, even the bad things. He brings serenity into our storms, because with God life never dies (Pope Francis). [bctt tweet="“They were filled with great awe and said to one another, ‘Who then is this whom even wind and sea obey?’” (Mark 4:41). Are we there yet? In awe of our powerful God, trusting that yes, even still, this is all in His loving hands? #BISblog //" via="no"] Embracing This Cross Especially at this one-year mark, falling, again, so appropriately during the season of Lent, take the time to pray about how you are going through your day-to-day life. Color-coded schedules and grand plans for how to fill the time at home are long behind us, but those things aren’t what matter to God. Have you been letting your frustrations with our situation affect the peace inside your home lately? How long has it been since you checked in on an elderly loved one, a friend or family member who lives alone, an acquaintance who works on the frontlines? Have you been skipping Mass because you’re tired of experiencing it through a screen? Are you putting off returning to church if it’s offered to you because staying home is “more convenient” for whatever reason? Are you using the pandemic as an excuse to not tithe any of your time, talents, or money? Pope Francis said, “Embracing his cross means finding the courage to embrace all the hardships of the present time, abandoning for a moment our eagerness for power and possessions in order to make room for the creativity that only the Spirit is capable of inspiring.” We’ve been carrying this cross for a long time now, sister. He knows our weary hearts. But He still calls us to embrace it. Offer whatever areas of your life you currently lack courage, focus, or creativity to Him. For Such a Time As This I pray that by the time March 2022 arrives, there will be no need for another post like this one. But no matter how long the effects of the pandemic linger on, we can carry on with the confidence that we were made for a time such as this. We can carry on with endurance, bravery, and, most of all, faith. We have an anchor: by his cross, we have been saved. We have a rudder: by his cross, we have been redeemed. We have a hope: by his cross, we have been healed and embraced so that nothing and no one can separate us from his redeeming love. // Pope Francis [bctt tweet="One Year In #BISblog //" via="no"] WANT TO DEEPEN YOUR PRAYER? Get ready to be radically changed by the Lord and His presence. Be drawn into intimacy with the Lord by way of weekly videos, a community within the Blessed is She app, and invitations into reading scripture in a whole new way. BEGIN THE WELL: ABIDE

A Little Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours

Christ Jesus, high priest of the new and eternal covenant, taking human nature, introduced into this earthly exile that hymn which is sung throughout all ages in the halls of heaven. He joins the entire community of mankind to Himself, associating it with His own singing of this canticle of divine praise. For He continues His priestly work through the agency of His Church, which is ceaselessly engaged in praising the Lord and interceding for the salvation of the whole world. She does this, not only by celebrating the Eucharist, but also in other ways, especially by praying the Divine Office. By tradition going back to early Christian times, the Divine Office is devised so that the whole course of the day and night is made holy by the praises of God. It is the very prayer which Christ Himself, together with His body, addresses to the Father. // Vatican II, Sacrosanctum concilium, 83-84 Something New The first time I prayed the Liturgy of Hours I was in a small chapel with about ten people in college. I woke up early one morning after seeing a sign in my dorm’s hallway stating the time and place to meet to pray. Someone handed me a thick prayer book with ribbons. For the next fifteen minutes the most beautiful thing happened. Though I was completely lost and not on the right page the entire time, I felt part of a community, I felt the unitive power of prayer. I felt part of something great and beautiful. The Prayer of Our Church The more I learned about this great prayer of our Church, I realized by praying the Liturgy of Hours I am part of something great and beautiful. The Liturgy of Hours, also known as the Divine Office, is the daily prayer of the Church. The purpose is to give God His due worship throughout the hours of our day. As a natural result of this, like all proper worship, we become sanctified, too. The Words and Wisdom of God The USCCB has a beautiful description of the Liturgy of Hours: “The [Liturgy of] Hours are a meditative dialogue on the mystery of Christ, using scripture and prayer. The dialogue is always held in the presence of God and using the words and wisdom of God. Each of the five canonical Hours includes selections from the Psalms that culminate in a scriptural proclamation. The two most important or hinge Hours are Morning and Evening Prayer. These each include a Gospel canticle: the Canticle of Zechariah from Luke 1:68-79 for Morning Prayer (known as the Benedictus), and the Canticle of Mary from Luke 1:46-55 for Evening Prayer (known as the Magnificat). The Gospel canticle acts as a kind of meditative extension of the scriptural proclamation in light of the Christ event. Morning and Evening Prayer also include intercessions that flow from the scriptural proclamation just as the Psalms prepare for it.” A Transformative Prayer Uniting ourselves as a Church in prayer is powerful. The Liturgy of Hours is the prayer of Mother Church. After years of praying the Liturgy of Hours I have strengthened my relationship with God. Through the Divine Office I am more aware of the importance of our liturgical seasons and the beauty and Scriptural bounty found throughout the year. I am closer to the Saints through reading their writings on their Feast Days. I am continuously touched by the witness of the Church Fathers, whose prose has transformed my heart. These are just some of the many fruits that I have experienced from praying the Liturgy of Hours. From personal growth to uniting myself with the Church, I have grown deeply as a person through this prayer. Ultimately, I pray because God is worthy and deserving of our worship. There are many fruits that come from this proper worship and each is a blessing and a gift. Helpful Resources, Tips, and Links A Liturgy of Hours set is an investment. If you are open to a second hand set, talk to your pastor or a religious community in your area to see if they have a set you can have for free. You can also ask local bookshops if they have a discounted Set available for you to buy. You can purchase your own Liturgy of Hours Set here and use code CLAIRE for 15% off this set and your entire order. The Saint Joseph Guide for the Liturgy of Hours (code CLAIRE for discount) is something I use daily when I pray the Divine Office. It gives the page numbers for each of the five “hours” every day of the year and includes the page numbers for Feast Days, too! It’s always on my Christmas wish list! This Burrowshire Podcast Episode, ‘How and Why to Pray the Liturgy of Hours,’ is so informative and lit a spark in my heart to be faithful to praying the Divine Office each day. Vatican II’s Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy, Sacrosanctum concilium, section on the Divine Office (83-101) is worth reading. The USCCB explanation of the Liturgy of Hours is one of my favorites! A Layman’s Guide to Liturgy of the Hours by Father Timothy Gallagher is a great resource (Discount code = CLAIRE). I use the DivineOffice App not only to pray the Liturgy of the Hours on the go but also for ribbon placement if I ever am a little lost and don’t have my Saint Joseph’s Guide available. Don’t give up! Invite your parish priest over for dinner and Evening Prayer, asking them to spend some time teaching you the Liturgy of Hours. Or, watch this amazing instructional video on YouTube. Start small. Don’t feel pressured to pray all of the five hours starting out. Start with Morning or Evening prayer. I have found that the more I pray the Liturgy of Hours, the more I desire to! It truly orders your day towards God. Do you pray the Liturgy of Hours? How has it changed your spiritual life? Do you have any tips or resources that have helped you? Share in the comments below! [bctt tweet="A Little Guide to the Liturgy of the Hours #BISblog //" username="findphilothea"]

Being a Catholic Witness in the Workplace

It was an ordinary day at work. Svend was frantically shuffling through the papers, his eyes fixated but his body language giving way to the tension that filled the air. In my new role as HR Business Partner, I quickly learned that Svend occupied the position of Drilling Manager for a reason—he was one of the brightest minds in the industry. But I was also aware that he was rough, rude, and curt. That morning, I heard that his son was critically ill. As the sound of papers filled the air, my heartbeat grew louder. After much resistance I finally uttered, “I heard your son is ill. I hope he is alright.” I often think back to that moment and wonder why I struggled to speak. Was I afraid to lose my job or afraid to look too "religious"? How could I show integrity without hiding parts of myself? As a believer I didn't want to live with two lives: my work life and my spiritual life. I wanted my life to be integrated. A Mission Mindset From Jesus, we learn courage and faithfulness at the workplace. The Gospels beautifully portray Him working as a carpenter, giving us a glimpse into His "secular" labor. Think about the men He chose. They were called straight out from their workplace with no "religious" credentials. The biblical command is clear: we are to reflect Christ in our day-to-day lives. How much more, then, at our workplaces, where we spend the majority of our adult lives? How can we use that time wisely? Second Vatican Council’s Gaudium et Spes states: One of the gravest errors of our time is the dichotomy between the faith which many profess and the practice of their daily lives. The biblical worldview leaves no room for secular-sacred dualistic thinking. Saint Paul iterates: Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men. // Colossians 3:22-24 The world is desperate for witnesses. We need to see our workplaces as mission fields if we desire opportunities of influence. Having a mission mindset will also allow us to see purpose in our work, our co-workers and our stewardship. Witnessing Versus Witness Working in a multinational company with people from different religions has allowed me to think deeply about how my actions reflect Christian principles and how I can be an example to others. As a new believer, I was tempted to be radical and assertive: avoiding people who were not like-minded and using Christian jargon to ensure my spirituality was evident. Over the years, God has been teaching me to maintain a strong God-honoring character both in my personal and professional life. He has used the many challenges and conflicts at work to teach me what it means to be a “witness”. Pope Francis says, “Today’s world stands in great need of witnesses… It’s not so much about speaking, but rather speaking with our whole lives." We can confuse witness with witnessing. Witnessing is doing—say this; do that. Witness on the other hand is being. It is organic. We can only be who God calls us to be and rest knowing that it is God who changes hearts. The question is not, "Did you witness?" but rather, "Are you a witness?" What Do Others See? In the last 10 years, I have served bosses of other faiths. My present boss is Muslim, a remarkable woman through whom I have learnt integrity, commitment, and consistency. We have shared many experiences, even spiritual, without imposing our beliefs on each other. I have been intrigued by her appraisal of my work, which she often attributes to my Faith. Our good attitude matters. Faithfulness, selflessness, and charity are markers of Christian influence. On the other hand, dishonesty, unpunctuality, gossip, desire for power, and inappropriate language can rob us of being the light that Christ desires. Deadlines and profits are important but we must be careful that they do not fuel competition and comparison, causing us to work in silos rather than in unity. Our colleagues will recall not only how well we did our job but also how we treated them in the process. Do those around you see a positive reflection of God in your work ethic? Spirit-Led Conversations I am learning to ask, “What do I want people to remember about Michelle?” I mentioned about Svend and how I reluctantly inquired about his son. "He’s not too good; thanks," was the cold response I received. At first, I was tempted to end the conversation, but I could sense the Holy Spirit asking me to surrender that moment. As I yielded, Grace took over and I responded, "Svend, I will pray for him. God heals." That afternoon, Svend sent me a thank you email expressing that no one had ever said that to him before. That conversation was the beginning of a lifelong friendship with this man who was twice my age, a widower who lived alone, and who I discovered as one of the most generous men I would ever encounter. Over the months, Svend accepted Jesus as Savior and eventually came to the Catholic Church. Ways to Witness in the Workplace This experience taught me to invite the Holy Spirit into my conversations to discover the human person before me, beyond skill and work experience. Instead of getting stuck in the “me versus them” mentality, I have been intentional to practice regular heart checks. How can I work with people whose worldviews are different from mine? Where do I need to give up control and let God in? I need the fruit of the Spirit in my witness. I need His Presence to see opportunities as they arise. Here are some ways you can grow in your witness at the workplace. 1. Prayer Begin your day with God. Pray sincerely for your boss and colleagues. Even a simple prayer like, “Come Holy Spirit,” can help you mindfully walk the path of freedom and holiness. 2. Honesty If someone invites you to a gathering that clashes with your commitment at church, instead of saying, “I’m busy,” simply say, “I have to go to church.” Just be honest. 3. Heart Checks When you are tempted to lie, exaggerate, or altogether avoid people, reflect: why am I behaving this way? Am I a witness? 4. Excellence True success and fulfillment requires that we develop and practice the virtue of excellence. You can witness powerfully with your reliability, punctuality, hard work, and humility. 5. Forgiveness When you face conflict, it is essential that you seek resolution, face-to-face. Asking for and extending forgiveness is a gateway for God’s peace and His wisdom into that situation. A Higher Calling Let’s face it. Bringing God into our workplace is a challenge. Even so, we can be freed to embrace successes, challenges, and failures while resting on the blessed assurance that we are held in the loving Heart of God. Dear sisters, whether you are qualified or have no degree, whether you are a business woman or struggling to make ends meet, I urge you to invite the Holy Spirit into your workplace daily. We need His Power to break through the narrow limits of biases, religions, and cultures. This Lenten season, let Him drive your witness with selfless (agape) love and lead you to your higher call of holiness. Your workplace needs your witness and your time begins now! [bctt tweet="Being a Catholic Witness in the Workplace #BISblog //" via="no"]

Showing Compassion for Another Woman's Pain

A few years ago I had an experience that completely woke me up to the fact that not everyone knows how to show compassion to another person’s pain. This incident also highlights the painful fact that there’s a big stigma associated with victims of abuse. It’s almost like people genuinely believe that if they don’t talk about abuse, somehow it will just go away. This of course is the furthest from the truth, as I can attest from my own experience. One of my priorities since giving my testimony is to help educate both men and women of the dire need to do a better job at dissipating this stigma. I would love to see a day where this topic is no longer a taboo and we can freely talk about it at dinner parties, just like a normal conversation. My Experience with Compassion (and a Lack of It) One day, I was in a group of five women in an environment that I thought was safe to share about the abuse I suffered as a little girl. What happened after I opened up to these women (as I was choking back tears), is what motivates me to want to help people understand how to appropriately respond when someone shares this kind of personal and painful story with you. We were sitting at a round table and three of the women had a blank stare in their faces and a couple of them just put their heads down and wouldn't look me in the eye. Did they simply not know how to show compassion with such delicate and personal news? I’m not sure, as I obviously don’t know why they reacted that way. In God’s goodness, one of the ladies did know how to react, as she jumped to her feet and came around to hug me. Her reaction of compassion and empathy made all the difference in the world. As long as I live that moment will be etched in my mind! Layers of Trauma When you grow up carrying the shame of abuse, and try to share your story with other people, and they do not react with compassion and empathy, this becomes yet another layer to your trauma. It becomes another reason why you rationalize that sharing this is not a good idea. For the victim of abuse this is detrimental to their healing. I’m not proposing we all become therapists. What I am proposing is that we need to keep in mind that as women of faith, we are all each other’s keepers, and we need to do better. Victims of abuse need to trust people so they can open up and talk about their experience as part of their healing process. Be that person that will show them compassion while listening to their story. When you avoid making eye contact or talking to a person who has been abused because of your own hesitations, you don’t help the situation, in fact this can hinder the potential for more healing for that person. What To Do The first thing you do when another woman opens up to you about their deepest pain is to look them in the eye and sincerely say something along the lines of, “I’m so sorry for the suffering you’ve gone through." This helps to dispel the shame that comes with trauma from abuse. If the situation allows, please give them a hug! Another step would be to say, “ I want you to know I’m here for you, should you ever want to go further in your sharing.” Even better would be to ask if it’s okay to say a prayer for her, right there and then. In my experience, no one ever refuses a prayer. The Healing Power of Compassion The simplicity and healing power of someone’s compassion has an enormous benefit to victims of abuse. We need to have reverence for someone's grief and pain; it is sacred territory. When you encounter someone with a pierced sword, I beg you to show them the best reverence in their pain. Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into a place of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human. // Henri Nouwen [bctt tweet="Showing Compassion for Another Woman's Pain #BISblog //" via="no"] Elza Spaedy is a sexual abuse survivor with a lifechanging story to share. Since becoming Unbound in 2017, Elza has been on fire for the Lord, ready to spread the good news of her incredible healing with other victims. She is the loving wife of David, and a devoted mother to their three beautiful children Bella, Bree, and Tristan. In addition to being an author and public speaker, Elza works as a realtor in Huntersville, North Carolina. She spends her free time with her family volunteering for many different ministries at Saint Mark Catholic Church. Her mission from the Holy Spirit is to share her powerful testimony of hope and healing with others who are still hurting.

Ideas for Participating in Lent

Last Easter, I distinctly remember getting dumped with snow, spending a large part of the day online (whether Zoom or Mass), and scratching my head about what just happened to the Triduum as I packed up the ham I purchased with a bigger crowd in mind. Although I sincerely feel more hopeful about celebrating Lent and Easter this go around than I did this time last year, there is still a lot yet to be determined as far as favorite traditions and accommodations given the various protocols of gathering or celebrating during the pandemic. We have been at this liturgical living from home business for over a year now, so it seems realistic that we are up to the challenge. Ideas for Participating in Lent This Year Particularly, because much of the past year has been likened to its own Lent, we will need to be intentional when it comes to making meaning and making do when it comes to celebrating within set guidelines. To set this season apart from the drudgery or monotony that we have become familiar with, I have come up with a handful of ideas that could be worth incorporating as we journey together toward the cross this Lent. When you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites. They neglect their appearance, so that they may appear to others to be fasting. Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, so that you may not appear to others to be fasting, except to your Father who is hidden. And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you. // Matthew 6:16-18 Think Outside Many churches, retreat centers, and religious communities have outdoor Stations of the Cross on their grounds, or prayer gardens that are ideal for prayer that is both liturgical and "socially distant." Try putting together your own Stations that you can use throughout the 40 days. DIY For folks who enjoy putting together egg hunts/scavenger hunts, Resurrections Eggs are a fun kid-approved way to combine the fun of Easter eggs with the telling of the story of the Paschal Mystery (and can be used before Easter). *Also available for purchase if crafting isn’t your thing. Pray/Fast/Give Ideas like this or this are fantastic ways to put faith into practice and conversation at home. Gather online with a friend or family member near or far to pray together or go through a Lenten devotional together. A quick online search will deliver more Lenten reflections than you can shake a stick at. Eat Differently Catholic Relief Services Rice Bowl Recipes from around the world offer an awesome opportunity to go meatless while adding some culture to Lenten cuisine. Praying for and learning about the cultures represented each year is a beautiful act of solidarity that goes beyond giving up meat. Spread Joy Maybe this is the year to spread joy—a year we know people are in desperate search for hope. Would that they see our joy rather than our gloom that set us apart as we fast, give, pray for the brokenness in the world to be healed by the One Who overcame death. Whatever that looks like for you: pay it forward in the drive through lane, roll down your window and talk with the person asking for assistance, shovel a neighbor’s driveway anonymously, send a card of encouragement, make a double batch of soup and drop it off at a neighbor’s house. The possibilities are truly endless. Lenten Beans to Jelly Beans This is Lent’s version of adding manger straw to the manger at Christmas for doing good deeds, being caught doing something good. Instead of using straw, try using a jar full of dry beans to acknowledge sacrifices and opportunities taken to die to ourselves. Celebrate a Seder Meal on Holy Thursday Celebrating our Jewish history alongside of the Last Supper. The Seder meal is intended to be prayerful and symbolic walk through the Passover tradition that Jesus celebrated with His disciples on Holy Thursday. This is a two-fold opportunity to learn from our Jewish brothers and sisters, while connecting Jesus’ last meal to the institution of the Eucharist. Are We Ever Ready? I don’t know about you, but I never quite feel "ready" for Lent The truth is we never are. But we are changed by the season in unforeseen and necessary ways. Heading into Lent can feel like heading into an exam that you have studied for, but is still going to put you through your paces. And, in so many ways this is our moment. The Christian community has the tools to lead the charge into the hopelessness and helplessness that have become so closely associated with these lenty and "unprecedented times." I suspect, at least I hope, that if we play our cards right these practices might rightly lead into the Easter season and beyond. Let’s make this a season that leaves those around us murmuring, "See how they love one another." How are you celebrating Lent this year? What's different than usual for you? [bctt tweet="Ideas for Participating in Lent #BISblog //" via="no"]

Weekly Wallpaper // 264

From the shining cloud the Father’s voice is heard: This is my beloved Son, listen to him. // Matthew 17:5 Love this beautiful print from Leah of Fearfully Made. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this for free! Log in and download! Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Blessed Chats: College // Moving Away from Home

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about college. We'd love for you to join the conversation! It was the night before I was about to move from home and away from my parents, friends, and family. As I laid in bed I had a pit in my stomach. What was I thinking? Sure, the summer had been exciting and full of hope as I anticipated the new adventure of transferring to a school a state away. Yet in the twelve hours before that move was to be made, I could feel doubt and fear rising up within me. I loved my life. I grew up in a loud and joy-filled home with my parents and six siblings. We lived within walking distance of our cousins and were part of a large community of families who lived life together ever since I was a baby. Now here I was about to say goodbye to it all. I was afraid that all I had held on to so tightly would slip right through my fingers. When You're Moving Away from Home for College In my moment of fear, I was forgetting God’s provision. You can’t look forward when you are looking back. I was forgetting that He had opened the doors for me to enter into a new chapter of my life, a part of my story that He desired for me. While slightly nervous, I was determined to embrace this path that I knew the Lord had set me on. So, from one who was very prone to home-sickness, here is what helped me to find community, purpose, and joy when I transferred schools my Junior year of college. Stay in touch with family. Moving away from home doesn’t mean you check out of your family and friends’ lives. I recommend calling regularly, but in moderation. Having a specific day of the week to call home can give you something to look forward to and be a helpful benchmark. The moderation part is key because it can be tempting to call too often when we feel a pang of homesickness. But when it feels challenging, it is really important to invest in the people around you whether this be a friend you’ve just met or housemates. Allow them to bring you comfort. If you only share your heart with your loved ones back home, it will prove extremely difficult to form relationships. Early on, it was hard for me to call my parents and I would get choked up. But maintaining that connection with them outweighed the ache. In time, that ache subsided. Don’t go home for six weeks. This was the advice one of my old friends received from her mom when she moved to a different state for school. Her mom’s point was that if you come home every weekend because you are home-sick or afraid of missing out on something, you are holding yourself back from developing connection and community where you are. When I moved away I chose to embrace this idea, and it was really rewarding. To help distract myself from breaking this commitment, I spent those first six weeks pouring into on-campus activities, learning about groups and clubs to sign up for, and saying yes to coffee, lunch, and dinner invitations. That’s where my next tip comes in. Be brave. Join a Bible study, extracurricular, or intramural sport. My housemate invited me to join the Bible study she was leading on campus. I looked forward to these weekday evenings when my friend and I would walk to the dorm where our study was held to talk Scripture for a couple of hours. It was at one of these Bible studies that I met one of my dearest friends. I participated in the Students for Human Life group that was on campus and got to know my classmates better by spending time with them at our meetings and events. Committing to the same group of people for a consistent period of time is one of the best things you can do to meet people and build friendships. For those of you who are more athletically inclined (not me), intramural sports can also be a great way to meet people. Be gentle with yourself and rest. It was the weekend two or three weeks after having moved and I was exhausted. I called my dad to vent. “All I want to do is stay home and not do anything,” I said to him. I had been pouring myself into so many different events and introducing myself to so many people, but I still felt guilty for wanting to stay home on a weekend. Thankfully, he offered me the wisdom I needed and let me know it was okay and important to take a night off from social activities. That was a turning point for me! My dad’s advice to be gentle with myself helped keep me from getting burned out from over committing and re-energized me for the coming week. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Be intentional with your roommates. When I transferred my Junior year, I moved into a house a few blocks off campus with three girls who I barely knew. Thankfully, each of them were wonderful and warmly welcomed me into their lives, introducing me to their friends and inviting me to join them at the fair, movies, or out to eat. The key to keeping our house running smoothly was our weekly house dinners. Each week we would rotate who was cooking. On the weeks when we skipped a house-dinner, I could feel tensions rising. The space between our shared meals created space for misunderstanding. I would convince myself that one of my roommates was upset with me, even if we hadn’t had any disagreements. Then, when we would all sit down again for dinner, we all caught up like normal and I would realize that my anxious feelings were due to the fact that I hadn’t been intentionally communicating. Make a budget for restaurants and entertainment. Looking back on my college experience, I wish I had been slightly less frugal. That might sound crazy, but I was very focused on making my dollar stretch and paying off student loans as quickly as possible. Financial responsibility is incredibly important and I don’t want to make light of saving, but it is good to set aside at least a small amount of money to have fun, too! There were many evenings where I would decline invitations out to dinner with friends, or forego going to a movie on opening night. Sometimes these decisions needed to be made, and sometimes I needed to make the splurge in order to get to know people better. Create an allowance for a night out, and when money is in a pinch, plan a pizza making party or girls night in. A part-time job can also be a great way to earn a little extra cash for these types of splurges, and be an opportunity to meet people! Find an Adoration chapel. First and foremost, remember that wherever you are, Jesus is. In times of struggle, run to Him and He will meet you. When the world isn’t bringing you comfort, let Him be your saving grace. There were many a night when my peace, security, and joy were found in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament. As you prepare for this move, spend a few minutes researching where your closest Adoration chapel is to campus. Maybe there is even one on-site! This is just one of many stories about college life and discernment. We want to hear YOUR story. Please share in the comments below! And if you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today. [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: College // Moving Away from Home #BISblog #blessedchats" via="no"] HIS WORD CHANGES LIVES God is speaking to you through His Word. In this personal study, you will learn to hear God's voice by reading slowly and praying deeply. BEGIN THE JOURNEY

Blessed Chats: College // Cultivating Your Faith on Campus

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about college. We'd love for you to join the conversation! It does not feel that long ago when I was a young adult woman beginning a new chapter in life on my college campus. I was eager to exercise my newfound independence by moving away from home and into my home-away-from-home for the next four years. I looked forward to selecting interesting courses and meeting new friends. The reality is that time is funny, and even though this does not feel that long ago, it was. Because now my own daughter is a senior in high school and preparing to begin this new chapter in her life. As I reflect upon my own college experience, I write this blog post for you, as your sister in Christ—with a few more years of collected experience and wisdom. Whether you are just beginning your college experience or nearing the end. Whether you are fulfilling a gap year in ministry, service, or the working world. Or whether you have chosen another path, I pray that these words give you confidence and courage to stay strong in your faith no matter where life brings you, during these exciting, unique years of life. Hindsight is 20-20 I intentionally chose a Catholic college because my Faith was important to me. But I quickly discovered that living out the Catholic Faith was not the priority of every student on campus. Even at a supposedly Catholic university, I still had to actively seek out like-minded people who wanted to attend Mass each Sunday and be involved in other faith-enriching activities. Despite having a handful of good friends, I still walked some of my faith journey alone during those years. At one point, I sought the spiritual guidance of a religious sister who lived in my college’s convent, when I needed help discerning how to listen to God’s voice in the midst of so much noise. Overall, I had a pretty good experience staying committed to my Faith during my college years. However, hindsight is always 20-20, isn’t it? And I wish I would have had a more experienced sister in Christ to encourage and challenge me in my faith, during a time when so many other ideologies were vying for my attention. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY How to Cultivate Your Faith in the College Years So, here are some concrete tips for you. Ones that worked for me, and ones I wish someone would have shared with me. I hope you find them helpful and encouraging, as you navigate these significant, formative years. Keep Going to Mass Strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. // Matthew 6:33 If you attend a college that offers on-campus Mass, go! If you do not, find the closest (orthodox) parish, and attend Sunday Mass there. The Eucharist is the heart of our Catholic Faith. “It is our duty and salvation,” the primary way we give God our gratitude and praise. The Holy Sacrifice of the Mass centers us and keeps our eyes fixed on Christ. In addition to finding a church where you can attend Mass, find out schedules for Confession and Eucharistic Adoration. Regularly frequent these opportunities for grace. Commit to Personal Prayer But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. // Matthew 6:6 This season of life is full of change. Your location and surroundings change. Your schedule changes. Your friends and acquaintances change, too. Amidst all of this transition, it is so important to maintain a consistent prayer routine. Make prayer a priority and a habit. Figure out where and when you can pray each morning or evening. Entrust your whole life to the Lord. Talk with Him about the highs and lows of college life. Seek His guidance and direction. Go to Eucharistic Adoration when you can. Read Sacred Scripture. Pray the Rosary. Seek Out Like-Minded Friends For where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them. // Matthew 18:20 Whether you attend a Catholic or secular university, seek out other Catholic young adults. Most colleges across the United States have some type of Catholic outreach program that offers Bible studies, prayer meetings, and other discipleship opportunities: Newman Center Saint Paul’s Outreach FOCUS Even if your Catholic friendship circle starts small, with one other sister in Christ, she will make all the difference in your life (and vice versa). And eventually, you will encounter more Catholic friends. Connect Online For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, and I rejoice to see your morale and the firmness of your faith in Christ. // Colossians 2:5 Living in a digital age, there are a plethora of ways to keep in touch with sisters in Christ across the miles. Offer prayer support to friends back home via a group chat. Follow uplifting Catholic accounts on social media. Join a Blessed is She group to pursue authentic Catholic friendships. Listen to Catholic podcasts to receive regular doses of solid Catholic teaching. Unite Your Loneliness to Christ’s Realization of our oneness in Christ is the only cure for human loneliness. // Caryll Houselander I have to be honest with you, dear sister. You may experience periods of loneliness because of your Faith during these college-age years. While others are at parties or giving into a variety of temptations, you may be the only one in the dorm on any given night. You may have to say no to the crowd, in order to say yes to Christ. When this happens, unite your loneliness with Christ’s loneliness, when the crowd turned against Him. Trust that He, and countless Saints who have gone before us, understand this sacrifice and can help you through it. Because it is worth every lonely moment to stay true to yourself, to your relationship with the Lord, and to your Catholic values. Your loneliness will be temporary, and you will be so glad you persevered in the end. Be Confident in Your Faith Keep alert, stand firm in your faith, be courageous, be strong. // 1 Corinthians 16:13 As you embark (or continue) on your journey, my dear sister in Christ, please be assured of my prayers for you. As I think of my own daughter, as she prepares to graduate and begin a year of ministry, I will think of you, too, in whatever plans God has for you. This is just one of many stories about college life and discernment. We want to hear YOUR story. Please share in the comments below! And if you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today. [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: College // Cultivating Your Faith on Campus #BISblog #blessedchats" via="no"] HIS WORD CHANGES LIVES God is speaking to you through His Word. In this personal study, you will learn to hear God's voice by reading slowly and praying deeply. BEGIN THE JOURNEY

Blessed Chats: College // Authentic Female Friendships

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about college. We'd love for you to join the conversation! The Saving Graces, written by Patricia Gaffney, is a story of four girlfriends who for a decade shared deep affection that helped them deal with the ebb and flow of life, uniting them as years went by. Their story profoundly impacted the way I viewed friendship. I was deeply enthused by their depth, loyalty, vulnerability and how quickly they chose to forgive. I have often wondered why such stories leave indelible marks on our soul . What is it about such relationships that invoke in us a deep desire for belonging? Why was I drawn to it? Being The Beloved In 2019, following my talk on relationships at a youth conference, a young girl came to me saying “I don’t have any friends, what is wrong with me?” Her question brought a myriad of memories without delay. During college, I had superficial relationships and very few that resembled "friendships." I floated between different groups across campuses, trying to fit in but was shattered many times by girls who elevated themselves by tearing others down. On the other hand, my broken home, coupled with my atheistic lifestyle, prevented me from seeing myself as a "gift." It left a deep void within me. I constantly tried to fill this emptiness with the comfort of shallow friendships, those who knew me only by my appearance, not my heart. I was the queen of comparison, constantly seeking validation, settling for mediocrity. I set unrealistic—if not idolatrous—expectations on friends, expecting them to comfort, provide and love the way I wanted. The Healing of Christ When I encountered Christ in 2004, my view on friendship still needed work. Having lived my whole life with a performance mentality, I entered ministry life as well, approaching people like programs, finding worth in “doing” rather than being. I experienced hurt and heartache, many from women, leaving me wondering if authentic female friendships were even a reality in the Church. My healing journey with Christ has taught me that I cannot give from an empty well. Hurting people hurt other people. I need to first receive my deepest identity as a beloved of the Father. The more I abide in His friendship, the more I am able to see friendship as an overflow of His love. The more I see myself as the beloved, the more I am able to embrace people as Christ does, without destructive expectations. How fitting that in the grand story of salvation, then, wounds are not erased, they become tools that God uses to tell His story, bringing Hope. As Christ continues to heal my heart, I’m learning to ask: How can I love like Him? How can I be that true loving friend? Sustaining Digital Friendships Life Coach Jim Roan says, "Show me five people you hang out with the most and I'll tell you where you'll end up." We don’t just choose friends; we also adopt their lifestyle and worldview. We become who we choose. As a Youth Mentor, I am aware of the challenge to sustain friendships in our digital age. With so much focus on connection and so little on communion, young people tend to confuse strangers with friends—people who have access to their feed, but don’t have access to the deepest parts of their story. In Hebrew the word for friend is very closely related to the word “secrets” because a friend is someone we can trust not just with information, but with our life. But think about how easy it is today to violate trust. It takes a second to text or tweet something confidential but a lifetime to repair the damage. How do we sustain lifelong relationships as pilgrims on the digital highway? In his encyclical Fratelli Tutti, Pope Francis writes, “Life is stronger than death when built on true relationships and bonds of fidelity.” It is no secret that we have been wounded by female friendships. But it is for this very reason that the sisterhood needs the authenticity of our witness to create a culture of encounter where trust and truth can foster faith, friendship and commitment in relationships. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Love Beyond Borders Friendship in its purest form is love. But what do we mean by love? I love chocolate, I love my sister, and God loves me. Are those the same kind of loves? A friendship which requires moving beyond the ‘self’, toward others is perhaps the most overlooked opportunity in our busy world. We need encounters of love, discovering beyond what we can see, being open to dialogue and being better listeners. In Mary’s life, we see how God’s love not only permeated her innermost being; it also propelled her forward for the good of another. Following the Annunciation, Mary didn’t run first to the leaders or her parents or even the man she was promised to marry. Despite the cost, she went in haste to Elizabeth (Luke 1:39), to bring affirmation, to testify and to burst forth into song, together. This is the beauty of a soul filled with love; this is sisterhood—going beyond oneself, building bridges, emerging stronger. Mary’s friendship is a timely reminder for our modern friendships. She invites us to challenge the cultural status quo that says, "What can I get out of this," to arrive at, "how can I be a friend to you?" I have begged God to bring holy women into my life and after much heartbreak I am so grateful for my inner circle today, women who not only call me higher, but continually lead me to Christ’s Sacred Heart. Their willingness to call me out in truth is such a tremendous gift. It is life-giving, transforming and therapy to my soul. We are tempted for quick wins, but deep friendships take time, they are born through shared adversity, deepened through forgiveness and consistent vulnerability. We need connections that bleed love. Jesus, Friend Forever Sister, if you are struggling in your friendships, compromising under pressure, or grieving the losses of friends gone, I want to encourage you. God sees your heart and your ache for authentic sisterhood. You are not alone. The manger and eventually the Cross are the supreme reminders of God's involvement, intimacy, and saving graces on our journey. Remember, Jesus had three close friends who professed to love Him all the way, but at the most crucial moments of His life, they abandoned Him. Yet, He called them friends (John 15:15). He gave them access to His heart and offered them His trust. Take heart, knowing that in our moments of loneliness, when we turn to cry out in abandonment, we find ourselves face to face with a tortured, bloody man on a cross, in whose death our friendships are redefined and redeemed. Even in the deepest moment of abandonment, we meet the one who is called "God with Us" Ask the Lord for Good Friends in College This is the work of the Holy Spirit, conforming us to the One who is Love and setting ablaze our hearts to love like He does. His fire runs deep, purging our selfishness, helping us forgive, burning away fears and breaking down filters that prevent us from being the friend we’ve always wanted. Pray for good friends. And consider how you can be a good friend today. This is just one of many stories about college life and discernment. We want to hear YOUR story. Please share in the comments below! And if you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today. [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: College // Authentic Female Friendships #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

Embracing the Will of God as We Grow in Devotion to the Eucharist

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