“Are you telling me you’re upset because you have more time on your hands than you know what to do with?” questioned my husband, John. Tears welled up in my eyes as we sat and talked on the deck. Ashamed and embarrassed to admit it, summer wasn’t turning out the way I’d envisioned. My boys were fifteen and twelve, soon to be thirteen, and they just didn’t seem to “need me” anymore. Joseph was shuffling from sports at the high school to his summer job at the snack bar to practice in the evenings. I barely saw him. Braeden was enjoying the freedom of his bicycle, happy to take off and see his friends, roam the neighborhood, and spend hours at other people’s houses or at the pool. A Transition in Motherhood I thought I would enjoy this stage of independence, but I was finding myself feeling lonely during the day. My kids and I used to go places together, like the zoo or the waterpark, or spend time playing games or building Legos. That chapter of our life seemed over, and I found myself worried about them when they were gone, especially if they were late checking in or didn’t respond to my texts at all. I remember thinking when they were young, “I can’t wait until they get older, then I’ll have more time to myself to get things done.” Now that their independence had arrived and I did have time to myself, I just didn’t like it! WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Mom Guilt Then it hit: mom guilt. This is a term my friend shared with me when I was a new mom. It had been hard for me to balance play time with the boys with keeping up with the house, work, and my husband. When I was playing with one boy, I felt like I was ignoring the other. Bam! Mom guilt. It once again creeped into my life as my kids grew older. Here I was feeling sorry for myself when I was blessed with a loving husband, two healthy, happy sons, and much more. All of a sudden, I felt my loneliness turning into selfishness. A coworker’s daughter had recently been rushed to the hospital with a racing heart rate and dropping blood pressure stemming from a heart condition and many earlier surgeries. A former student was in ICU from a setback with cancer. Why couldn’t I just be happy as a mom and enjoy each stage instead of looking forward to the next one? My time with the boys was slipping through my fingertips before they headed to college. I prayed to God often: Lord, please help me be the best parent I can be. Please help me lead Joseph and Braeden down the right path. Please forgive me for losing my patience (and for yelling) when they want to do something that I don’t feel is good for them. Please guide me and help me know what to do and what to say to get through this time. Amen. Learning About Them Now that They're Not Little My prayers were soon answered as I searched for advice in books. I felt frustrated at times because my boys didn’t seem to want to talk. First-hand experience taught me that barraging the boys with a bunch of questions they didn’t seem to want to answer was often a futile practice. I read that teens open up more when they get out of the house, so that’s what we did. Anything involving food seemed to be a hit. Ice cream, fast-food, or a pizza lunch brought us closer together (especially because I insisted on no cell-phones at the table). As far as food goes, making cookies, even if they were store-bought, was another winning strategy. As long as they got to lick the beaters, eat the leftover dough from the bowl, and gorge on the treats straight out of the oven, they were happy. And conversation naturally flowed. Although it was often easier said than done, I sometimes had to make an attitude adjustment on days that seemed filled with parenting challenges. I learned that it’s ok to make decisions that are unpopular. I also learned that I need to have the right mindset when I am unpopular instead of letting their whining get to me when we disagree about expectations or their desire to push the limits of my comfort-zone. Learning About Me Now that They're Not Little Instead of missing my little boys and the constant feeling of “being needed,” I’ve also tried to view my new-found free time as a blessing and a chance for new opportunities. Time to start my day with a cup of coffee and the daily Scriptures, reflections, and prayers while the boys sleep in. Time for date nights, walks with John, or talks on the deck. Time to volunteer at church and share my gifts with the Sunday School music program. Time to take care of myself with a morning run, taking in the beauty of God’s creation. Time to advance my career by taking online graduate classes. Time for visiting with my aging parents. Even though it didn’t seem like it, my boys needed me now more than ever. I also read that teenage kids simply prefer the parent who’s just there, in proximity. I could do that! My boys will remember our time together and how I treated them regardless of whether we were at the zoo or sitting in the kitchen talking over a snack. Instead of feeling sorry for myself or worrying about their newly-found independence, I am learning to be present when they pop in from their excursions, meeting them where they are. Letting Go of Mom Guilt and Control Navigating this new stage of parenting with my teenagers reminds me to realize and appreciate God’s blessings and new-found opportunities, even though life seems different than what I expected. Summer wasn’t what I’d pictured at first, but I realized that’s how life is: unexpected. What mattered most was how I reacted to those changes and twists while enjoying these precious sons, my blessings and gifts from God. Any moms out there in the same boat? How are you doing with the transition? Any advice to offer? [bctt tweet="Mom Guilt and Answered Prayers #BISblog //"] Carla Thomas is a wife, mom, and teacher of twenty-three years. She enjoys the sun, the lake, running, spending time with friends and family, and playing the piano for the Sunday School music program at Our Lady of the Presentation.

O Lord, when I awake, and day begins, waken me to thy Presence; waken me to thine indwelling; waken me to inward sight of thee, and speech with thee, and strength from thee; that all my earthly walk may waken into song and my spirit leap up to thee all day, all ways. O my God all times are thy times, and every day thy day, made lovely only with thy light. Bring us, O Lord, to that blessed eternal day which thy Son our Saviour hath won for us, and to the perfect light. -Eric Milner-White Reflect On the third day the friends of Christ coming at daybreak to the place found the grave empty and the stone rolled away. In varying ways they realized the new wonder; but even they hardly realized that the world had died in the night. What they were looking at was the first day of a new creation, with a new heaven and a new earth; and in a semblance of the gardener God walked again in the garden, in the cool not of the evening but the dawn. G.K. Chesterton, The Everlasting Man Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Wake + Walk #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Christy Isinger. Find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

I’ve always been just a bit too practical for my own good. Playing house as a kid? Nope, not happening. Dressing up? Absolutely out of the question. After all, in my mind it was just “made up,” and I wasn’t having it. The single exception my little, black-and-white mind was willing to make was in the realm of books. Although I didn’t participate in “made up” games, nothing could beat the world of Meg, Jo, Beth and Amy... except maybe that of Louisa May Alcott’s lesser known character, Polly of Old Fashioned Girl. I traveled through the Old West, across the ocean, back in time, through harrowing adventures, and re-lived great love stories in the pages of so many wonderful books. Discovering Autobiographies As I grew up, or at least grew older, I meshed my practical mind with my love of reading, and dove wholeheartedly into the world of autobiographies. I find stories based on real events and people so fascinating. They carry an undertone of our commonalities as humans while showcasing the different paths through life our individual choices can make. Reading and Playing I’ve also always been a huge sports junkie. One of the best moments of my life was walking into Cameron Indoor (any Dukies out there?). Pope Pius XII wrote the following in regards to sports: Sport, properly directed, develops character, makes a man courageous, a generous loser, and a gracious victor; it refines the senses, gives intellectual penetration, and steels the will to endurance. It is not merely a physical development then. Sport, rightly understood, is an occupation of the whole man, and while perfecting the body as an instrument of the mind, it also makes the mind itself a more refined instrument for the search and communication of truth and helps man to achieve that end to which all others must be subservient, the service and praise of his Creator. Favorite Autobiographies from Athletes In the midst of what seems like so much mess in the modern sports world, it can be difficult to see the benefit outlined by Pope Pius XII. However, in the following list I’ve found some true gems that give me hope that sport can be, and should be beneficial on our path to Heaven. Through My Eyes by Tim Tebow Tim Tebow does an incredible amount of evangelizing with his professional athlete platform. His book gives quite a bit of insight into growing up with missionary parents and how their faith informed all that they did, including sports. Tim's parents were advised to not carry his pregnancy to term, as there were complications. Doctors claimed that he would be too malnourished to survive. Tim’s parents entrusted the pregnancy to God. And if you’ve seen Tim Tebow recently, well, he seems to be quite well-nourished. It’s an incredible pro-life story that kicks off an inspiring life. Well worth the read. Counting the Days While My Mind Slips Away by Ben Utecht Former NFL football player Ben Utecht tells his story of God, football, family, concussions, and how they’ve forever changed his life. This one is a little sad and even unsettling, as real life stories often are. However, Ben handles his situation with grace and hope. This is a very interesting look into the concussion dilemma facing the NFL from the perspective of a person who clearly still loves the game. While his football experience is the overarching theme of the book, Ben does a fantastic job of fleshing out the real people and experiences behind the glamourous image of the League. They Call Me Coach by John Wooden You know those, “If you could eat lunch with anyone...” questions? John Wooten is at the top of my list. I would love to be in the presence of his wisdom. This man did an incredible job of balancing the important things in life with the sport that he loved, all while making it a vehicle for teaching life skills. For those who may not know his story, John coached the famed UCLA men’s basketball team to an unheard of seven consecutive national championships, and a total of ten in his twelve years at the university. Despite all of this success, he continued to place the development of his players first. My favorite line from his book reads: Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It’s courage that counts. Beyond Belief by Josh Hamilton I admit it, I’m a little biased. Josh played for my hometown team, the Cincinnati Reds, after he made his comeback, so I’m a big fan. His story, one of falling prey to drug addiction and eventually being banned from baseball, is likely not that unusual in a game where big money is thrown around. However, the unusual part comes when he manages to find his way back with his family’s help and support coupled with the grace of God. While he is honest about continuing to fight his demons, he made his way back into baseball and has had a successful career. I believe that this story of redemption will strike a chord in all of us. No matter how many mistakes we make, God’s grace is waiting on us, pursuing us, pulling us back to Him. Champions of Faith: Catholic Sports Heroes Tell Their Stories by Thomas O’Toole This book is filled with interviews that will give you so much hope for the possibility of sport properly directed and the incredible results that can be gained. You will likely recognize a lot of these names, but what you may not know is how they quietly lived out their Faith within their respective sports. These stories are a true reminder of the fact that no matter what our call in life may be, we are called to live out our Faith in our daily lives. What are some of your favorite autobiographies by athletes? [bctt tweet="Favorite Autobiographies from Athletes #BISblog //"] Bridget Franer is a Midwest girl who spends most of her time trying to single handedly keep Chick-Fil-A in business, working a full time job, working out(to make up for the Chick-Fil-A,) and being the fun aunt of 6 adorable kiddos. Find out more about her rather average life here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

She girds herself with strength; she exerts her arms with vigor. -Proverbs 31:17 Have you ever invited God to workout with you? Perhaps you’re already leading a healthy lifestyle and have found a nice balance of maintaining your physical and spiritual wellbeing. If so, kudos to you! For the rest of us, trying to find the time to care for our bodies and also spend time with Jesus can be a daunting task. Being a new mom, I already feel strapped for time most days. Between looking after my infant, hanging out with my husband, and tackling the (never ending) amount of household chores, carving out some time for myself usually falls to the end of the list. When I do find a spare moment, it can seem like a toss-up: do I workout or spend it in the Word/prayer instead? Both/And The good news is that there is a way for us to care for both our physical bodies and souls simultaneously. 1 Corinthians tells us that our “body is a temple of the Holy Spirit” and to “glorify God in your body” (6:19-20). Feeling good physically can help us to become better in our lives overall–better wives, mothers, friends, daughters, church-goers, and ultimately, better servants for the Lord. The first thing to remember is that God wants us to take care of our bodies. After all, He created them. Psalm 139:14 says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” There is no better accountability partner in our health journey than God, for He values our bodies even more than we do. How to Nurture Your Soul and Your Body If you are looking for inspiration on how to integrate God more into your fitness routine, below are some ideas to get you started. Pray during your workout. Sounds easy enough, right? Whether running, hiking, biking, or other exercise, working out offers a great opportunity to have a conversation with Jesus. For example, while preparing for a marathon, a friend of mine would pray the Rosary during his training runs. While on the treadmill or elliptical machine, you can listen to a podcast like Pray As You Go, a daily prayer session which combines music, Scripture, and some questions for reflection. Take a faith-based class. You can find dedicated workouts focused on exercise and the Catholic Faith. Pietra Fitness combines Catholic prayer and spirituality with the physical practice of stretching and strengthening postures. SoulCore is a movement that pairs core strengthening, stretching, and functional movement with the prayers of the Rosary. More about Pietra Fitness and SoulCore can be found in this interview with the creators. Learn as you sweat. There are countless podcast options out there that can help you get more educated about Christ while you exercise. Some of my favorites include The Catholic Feminist, CatholicCreatives.org (features interviews with leaders in the Catholic creative world), and Sunday homilies from Fr. Mike Schmitz. Build community through exercise. Invite your small group or fellow parishioner to the gym, to train for a marathon together, to go on a hike, or to even tackle a pilgrimage like the Camino de Santiago. It’s a great way to grow fellowship in new and healthier ways beyond Sunday Mass. You can even join a group like Catholic Women Run, which offers a 12-week training plan along with prayers and a printable journal. Remember, rest is ok. Whether you’re walking furiously to hit those 10,000 steps on your Fitbit or killing it in cardio, make sure to build in those rest days. Rest does not mean you are weak or lazy. If you don’t take time to rest, an injury could eventually force you to. Even God rested on the seventh day. Thank God after your workout. Before I move on with the rest of my day, I like to pause and think about how I carved out that time to take care of my body. I thank God for the health and energy that He’s given me. After you exercise, simply acknowledge the effort you put in and lift that up to God with gratitude. Gym Time with Jesus God wants to be present in every part of our day and all aspects of our lives. Health and wellness are no different. Whether I’m meditating on a simple Scripture during a grueling training session, or focusing on a particular prayer intention as I stretch, I end up feeling both physically and spiritually rejuvenated. Have you found unique ways to integrate your prayer life into your fitness routine? If so, share in the comments below! [bctt tweet="Gym Time with Jesus: Nurturing Body and Soul #BISblog //"] April Deocariza is a Southern California native now living the expat life in Germany. When not working full-time as a mommy to her six-month-old son, she loves trekking around Europe and enjoying delicious food. Relaxing with a coffee, warm cookie, and a napping child is her happy place. Find out more about her here.

As Catholics, we have an incredibly rich spiritual buffet presented to us. Holy Mother Church offers prayers, devotions, liturgies, and traditions that speak to every personality and life stage of her children. One such tradition that has been practiced throughout the centuries is Marian consecration. Consecrating oneself to Our Lady is a profoundly spiritual and impactful path to sanctity. What is Marian Consecration? One of the definitions for the word "consecrate" is to "dedicate formally to a religious or divine purpose" (source). Marian consecration is the act of entrusting one's body, soul, possessions, works, and entire life to the protection, guidance, and intercession of Our Lady. The act of entrusting oneself to Mary's care and intercession is nothing new. Jesus Himself entrusted His beloved disciple, John, to Mary while He was on the Cross (John 19:26-27). The early Christians and Church fathers recognized Mary's holiness and her significance as the Mother of God. We've been asking for Mary's intercession and intervention in our lives since the beginning of the Church. She is, after all, our mother, too. A more formal method of consecration to Mary was developed by Saint Louis de Montfort in the 1600s. His 33-day prayer consists of short instructions on why one would even consecrate themselves to Mary in the first place (more on that below) and praying the Rosary and other various prayers to Mary and God. This period of prayer culminates in a beautiful prayer of consecration that one makes in conjunction with the Sacrament of Reconciliation and the reception of Holy Communion, ideally on a Marian feast day. Why Should I Consecrate Myself to Mary? What's the point of consecration to Mary, anyway? What if I already have a devotion to Mary, pray the Rosary, and ask for her intercession? Consecration to Mary is simply a furthering and deepening of our devotion to and relationship with Jesus through Our Lady. If you already have an affection for Mary and talk to her often, consecration is a natural next step. But even you don't really know Our Lady yet and aren't convinced of the hype, Marian consecration can be that bridge that unites you to her more deeply. When we consecrate ourselves to Mary, we give her our entire lives and selves as well as the merits of all our prayers and works in order to belong more fully to Our Lord. We give Mary everything we are and do to present to the Lord and use at her disposal. Why give Mary everything? Because she's a good mom. She only wants what's best for us and for all her children. Mary wants us to know, love, and serve Jesus more. She wants us to get to Heaven even more than we do. She's invested in our happiness, both temporal and eternal. Mary takes all the good we are and do, adds her grace, and presents us to her Son. The best part? When she presents us to Jesus, in all our littleness and with all our feeble efforts, He does not refuse her, because she never refuses Him. Can't I Just Consecrate Myself to God? Yes! And ultimately, that's exactly what Marian Consecration accomplishes. When we consecrate our selves to Mary, really we are consecrating ourselves to Jesus through Mary. They are so intimately united that truly giving ourselves to Mary can lead to nothing but total surrender to God. By consecrating ourselves to Mary, we leap with faith and joy into the arms of our mom, knowing that she advocates for us, loves us, and wants to see us become saints. We cannot go wrong with Marian Consecration. The Fruit of Her Womb A beautiful companion for your Marian consecration journey. Shop Now Want to learn more about Our Lady, check out these books about her! What Do I Need to Start My Marian Consecration? To complete a Marian consecration, you really just need a willing heart. Just begin with a desire to know Jesus more deeply through His Mother. You'll probably also want a guide. St. Louis de Montfort's Preparation for Total Consecration is timeless and has been used for decades. St. Maximilian Kolbe's 9-day formal consecration to Mary is also beloved by many. In more recent years, Fr. Michael Gaitley wrote 33 Days to Morning Glory, which focuses on the Marian spiritualities of four Saints. I suggest taking a look at each one and praying about which best suits your soul at this time. Again, you can't go wrong here, so don't stress too much about which form of consecration you select. It is customary to renew one's consecration to Our Lady every year by repeating the 33-day process and ending on the same Marian feast day. You can always select various methods of consecration throughout the years, too! The Ultimate Goal of Marian Consecration We are all called to holiness. God created us to be saints. We are made to know the Lord, to love Him, and to serve Him. Consecrating ourselves to Mary is one way that we grow in that knowledge, love, and service. We allow Mary to take us by the hand and lead us to her Son. She knows, loves, and serves Him best. We have so much to learn from her life, and so much to gain by placing ourselves in her hands. Mary, Mother of God, Mother of the Church, and Our Mother, pray for us! Have you consecrated yourself to Our Lady? Is your heart stirred to it for the first time? A Beautiful Companion Preparing for consecration? Our Blessed is She Rosaries are beautiful companions for your journey. Shop Rosaries → [bctt tweet="What is Marian Consecration? #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting this ministry! MARY SHOWS US THE WAY Just as a mother might pass on a beloved family tradition to her daughters, Mary shares the recipe for growing in virtue with us. This study on Mary's Virtues will breathe new life into your everyday, beginning right in Mary's home. GET HOME STUDY

Annulments can be misunderstood. Even by well-formed Catholics. Believe it or not, I made it to the end of my undergraduate studies without ever having heard a comprehendible explanation of what an annulment really is. And I majored in theology! Now, having completed a license in Canon Law and with a few years of experience of service to the Church on this topic, I’ve realized that maybe if we spoke more about the marriage nullity process, commonly referred to as the annulment process, it’s possible the topic wouldn't be muddled in so many of our minds. Am I right? Talking About Annulments So, here it is. Let’s talk about the marriage nullity process. The first time I meet with a petitioner or someone inquiring about the process, I make a point to cover five key points. I think these can be helpful to all of us. Because, let’s be real, how often are we put on the spot on this very topic and haven’t a clue how to answer? Or, we want to be helpful so we speak up only to later to realize that we have provided false guidance on the topic. 5 Things to Know About Annulments If you store these key points away somewhere in that already full and brilliant mind of yours, these could really help a loved one or new acquaintance understand annulments at least a little bit more. These conversations may get them on the track to find peace in their relationship with God and regularity with the Church. 1. The purpose of the marriage nullity process is for the salvation of souls. The taste of chocolate lingering in your mouth at the end of dinner is pretty much always glorious, isn’t it? Whether it be chocolate, a holy conversation, or a good cup of coffee, it is always more satisfying when we leave the table with an after-taste that is pleasing, even glorious. The Church and her law wants to be as generous as this! The last canon in the Code of Canon Law is Canon 1752. The first principle of the law is reiterated in the last canon: …always…keeping in mind the salvation of souls, which in the Church must always be the supreme law. As sweet as chocolate and coffee is to be the law of the Church. The first challenge in the marriage nullity process is to be able to see through the legalistic language and the technical procedures and know from the start that the Church is concerned about our salvation. This process, no matter how agonizing, is intended to keep or restore us to right relationship with the Church of Jesus Christ. The difficult part Divorce is humiliating. It makes people feel like failures. Many lose half of their friends or more. Then the Church asks them to tell their story of dating, marriage, and divorce in all its gory details. Before one makes their first contact with a tribunal, they need to try to set aside their shame and put on humility. Scripture tells us that only those who are like little children will enter the kingdom of heaven (Mt 18:3). So, we humble ourselves in order that Mother Church can take care of us. Her goal is our salvation. Her goal is our communion. It’s hard to be humble when we are hurting. It’s hard to believe that our salvation is the goal when tribunal personnel send legalistic letters that make no sense. The supreme law of the Church is the goal of every Christian: salvation. And, the purpose of annulments is the determination of truth which is sanctifying! In an address to the Roman Rota in 1990, Saint John Paul II said: People also have a right not to be deceived by a judgment of nullity, which is in conflict with the existence of a true marriage. Such an unjust declaration of nullity would find no legitimate support in appealing to love or mercy. Love and mercy cannot put aside the demands of truth. A valid marriage, even one marked by serious difficulties, could not be considered invalid without doing violence to the truth and undermining thereby the only solid foundation which can support personal, marital, and social life… The roads leading away from justice and truth end up serving to distance people from God, thus yielding the opposite result from that which is sought in good faith. Don’t lose sight of the goal because of the details. But, let’s talk about some of these details. [bctt tweet="Don’t lose sight of the goal because of the details. #BISblog //"] 2. Marriages aren’t “annulled.” After study, marriages may or may not be proven to be invalid. When one approaches a tribunal for their marriage to be studied, they aren’t asking the Church for a favor, but they’re alleging the nullity of their marriage and asking the Church to begin a trial to determine if it's proven. The goal of the marriage nullity process is to discover whether or not marriage came into being at the time of consent. This is accomplished by hearing the story! The story of the union is told by the spouses, witnesses, and even by other types of evidence, such as emails, letters, text messages, voicemails, counseling records, police reports, etc. When all of these proofs are gathered, the Tribunal staff goes to work. An advocate may be chosen to help the parties involved. The advocates are there to help tell the story. The Defender of the Bond argues in favor of the validity of the marriage. The judges take all the information and come to a decision: the marriage exists or the marriage never existed. See the steps here. 3. The marriage nullity process can take time! Discovering the truth can take time. And now that you know what the marriage nullity process really is you can see why it shouldn't be rushed. The marriage nullity process can take up to a year or more. Many personalities and roles impact the timing. Factors include whether or not both spouses participate, how quickly proofs/evidence are mailed into the Tribunal, how quickly interviews are scheduled, whether or not all witnesses are willing to participate, etc. When the details of the marriage are presented, the first job of a tribunal is to determine the right process. Some cases are considered “formal.” These cases take longer. There are also “lack of form” cases which take a shorter time to process. Lack of Form cases are for Catholics who marry outside the Church without the Church’s permission. For example, when a Catholic gets married before a Justice of Peace in Las Vegas. The marriage does not come into being because the Catholic did not follow the laws of the Church for marriage. Worthy of note: The abbreviated process for annulments that Pope Francis promulgated in 2015 can take somewhere around forty five days. However, this process is used for rare circumstances at the discretion of the bishop. What is the new abbreviated process? Read more here. 4. No, you don’t “buy” a declaration of nullity. Yes, sometimes there is a fee or a suggested donation for the marriage nullity process. One cannot purchase a declaration of nullity. Again, the marriage nullity process has everything to do with our salvation… money can’t get us into Heaven! It is a reality that tribunals have offices with employees and they have all of the expenses like any employer. Fess may accompany the application to be processed or provide a small wage to one’s advocate. However, the inability to pay a fee ought never to stand in the way of someone approaching a tribunal for help. Tribunals will do everything they can to help individuals in their financial difficulty, including waving any fees. What is the cost? Read more here. 5. What about the reception of Holy Communion? This is one of the more difficult and emotional topics for Catholics. Being divorced does not affect one's communion with the Church or necessarily one’s ability to receive Holy Communion. However, the Catechism of the Catholic Church 1650 explains: [t]oday there are numerous Catholics in many countries who have recourse to civil divorce and contract new civil unions. In fidelity to the words of Jesus Christ - "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery" the Church maintains that a new union cannot be recognized as valid, if the first marriage was. If the divorced are remarried civilly, they find themselves in a situation that objectively contravenes God's law. Consequently, they cannot receive Eucharistic communion as long as this situation persists. For the same reason, they cannot exercise certain ecclesial responsibilities. Reconciliation through the sacrament of Penance can be granted only to those who have repented for having violated the sign of the covenant and of fidelity to Christ, and who are committed to living in complete continence. A priest may suggest that when separation is impossible that the parties live together as "brother and sister," which is abstaining from sexual acts proper to marriage. This is for extraordinary situations, including when parties are unable to separate because of the need to raise small children, or if one of the parties are sickly and/or elderly and depend on the other party for care. Can a divorced or remarried person receive the Sacraments? Read more here. Annulments Exist for Our Eternal Good Canon Law and annulments can sound daunting and intimidating at first, but at the end of the day, they exist to help and protect us, and most importantly guide us as we make our way to eternal life. Again, if you remember just a few of the main concepts provided here, you may be able to make a world of difference in someone’s life who is currently struggling with the topic. For more information, visit the Diocese of Madison Tribunal. Have you had an experience with the marriage nullity process? Maybe someone has asked you to explain it to them. How did the conversation go? [bctt tweet="5 Things Catholics Need to Know About Annulments (From a Canon Lawyer) #BISblog //"] Amanda Zurface resides in Pueblo, Colorado, where she serves as the Vice-Chancellor for the Diocese of Pueblo. She also serves as the Catholic Content Specialist for Covenant Eyes. Amanda holds a License and MA in Canon Law and a BA in Catholic Theology and Social Justice. She is the co-author of Equipped: Smart Catholic Parenting in a Sexualized Culture, Confident: Helping Parents Navigate Online Exposure and Transformed by Beauty.

I’ve been running around the house the last few days like a drill sergeant with a severe case of OCD. “What?!” I shriek at my lovable toddler as he tracks dirt all through my relatively clean house. “Do not move! I need to get your shoes off!” He looks at me with saucer-like, uncertain eyes. I swoop down on him like a hawk to its prey and wrestle his muddy sandals off, glaring at him. “I don’t need to be cleaning all day! Do you understand me, mister?” He’s thoughtfully quiet and rightfully wary. He knows the mommy monster is here. I’ve been snarky, snappy, and disgruntled. All three of my children have been doing their best to steer clear of me. Those aren’t the only signs that something is amiss. On a recent trip to Target, I felt compelled to spend way more than I should, buying little flourishes for my home that are not necessary. These were no bargains either. I paid full price! It's completely out of character for me. I clip coupons and enjoy shopping at the Goodwill. But, I shelled out big bucks for fanciful luxuries like decorative pillows and table runners. Why? Comparison and Contentment But recently, I had just gotten the kids down for much-needed nap and I was perusing my emails. I clicked on one from the mother of my son’s preschool buddy. She would be unable to make tomorrow’s playdate at our house. The relief that washed over me was palpable. The tension in my shoulders dissipated and the deep furrow in my forehead seemed to magically soften. I read on. She had a “health concern” and needed to get to the doctor before the weekend. My mind went to the dark place “Could it be cancer? Dear God. Does she have cancer?” Something let loose. I sat in silence, contemplating the real reason I had been in such a tizzy over the last several days. A couple of weeks ago we were invited to the same mother’s home for a playdate. When we arrived, I was immediately struck by the size of the home. I couldn’t help but wonder about the astronomical mortgage payment as I knocked on the grand double doors, surreptitiously scanning the beautiful front porch and meticulously landscaped front yard. It had to be at least double the size of our house. She came to the door with a bright, welcoming smile. The inside definitely matched the exterior and did not disappoint. The kids played nicely. It had the makings of a very pleasant experience, but the whole time my mind swirled with irrational dread… “I’m going to have to have them over to my house next!” When I was pregnant with our first, my husband and I bought a fixer-upper assuming we’d have ample time to do some restoration. Ha! Newbies. We barely have time to take showers. Little by little, we have managed to make real, noticeable improvements to our modest home, but it still requires a lot of TLC, of which I am sometimes acutely aware. A Perspective Shift Now, I realized that awareness of our home’s flaws had been so foremost in my mind that it had caused my mood to completely tailspin. As the old adage goes, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” And my kids were experiencing that lack of joy in a very tangible way. The mommy monster had taken up residence in their home. I had let my perceived inadequacies take over. I had been so preoccupied worrying about how I would appear to this other mom that I never considered how I measure up in the eyes of my children or more importantly how God sees me. Was this what He wanted for me in the vocation of motherhood? And this other, seemingly Pinterest-perfect mom, whose opinion I was so concerned about? She was smack in the middle of a real health crisis. My brand new, charming, full-price table runner seemed pretty pointless. Perspective shift accomplished. Setting Aside Comparison for Joy The next day, I got an email from the woman. She thanked me for the prayers and expressed what a terrifying 24 hours she’d endured. She had a lump in her breast, so the doctor had wanted to get her in for a mammogram ASAP. Gratefully, it turned out to be nothing. She was enthusiastic to reschedule the playdate. We haven’t set a date yet. But I’m hoping that this time I’ll surrender my worries about not measuring up. I hope I’ll shelve my perceived shortcomings. I pray I’ll have the grace to let go of all the needless comparisons. We often feel the pull to weigh our blessings against others’. But in so doing, we become slaves to worry, stress, and the world’s critical opinions. On our journey to holiness, those concerns don’t help us. In fact, they are a serious hindrance to becoming a true disciple of Christ. I’m going to work hard to focus on being content with what I have. It’s truly temporary anyway. For right now, I have a husband and kids who love me and are happy to forget that the mommy monster ever existed. How to Move from Counting Shortcomings to Counting Blessings If you feel as if you’re getting caught in the craziness of the comparison trap, here’s how to find your way to contentment and ultimately joy: consider the peace and serenity of our Blessed Mother. She is such a role model! I love meditating on the joyful mystery of the Nativity. Mary made no complaints when she placed the baby Jesus in a manger in the stable of Bethlehem. The Redeemer of the world slept in a feeding trough in a barn! Mary wasn’t stressing about her impoverished setting. Instead, she was focused on the beautiful and perfect Gift right before her. Just take a deep breath so you, too, can actually see all the amazing gifts God has placed right before you. Be sure to share that contentment with other moms. Remind yourself and your friends to relax and to cut each other some much-needed slack. We need constant reminders to remain grateful and avoid the pull of comparison. The friendly mom who has yet to see our home? I’m pretty certain when she does finally come, she’s not going to be thinking about frivolous things like throw pillows. She’ll be happy to spend some time watching her son interact with his friend and reveling in the fact that she’s alive to do it. Am I now currying favor with human beings or God? Or am I seeking to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave to Christ. -Galatians 1:10 [bctt tweet="From Counting Shortcomings to Counting Blessings #BISblog //"] Mary Jo Gerd traded in her secular media job for the more rewarding, albeit lower paying vocation of full-time wife and mother. She hasn't looked back since. Well, maybe once or twice. She lives in Denver and enjoys blogging about her family and Catholic faith here.

The arrival of a new baby. Loss of a loved one. Financial difficulty. Illness. Hospitalization. These are just a few of the situations that bring out a family’s need for assistance with meal preparation. In these times, we as friends, neighbors, and community members are given the holy opportunity to extend a hand in loving assistance. When we plan or participate in a meal train program, we can help alleviate the worry about cost, time, and energy of meal preparation for those in need. We are able to show the mercy and love of God to those around us by providing for the basic human needs of others. It Takes a Village I was once blessed to be a part of an amazing group at my parish called St. Anne’s Circle. These ladies know how to take care of families! Whether it was to celebrate the birth of a baby, help out during chemotherapy months for our friends, or provide meals when a family member had passed away, the Moms’ Meals Coordinator (yes, that is an actual board position in this group!) would set up a meal calendar online to care for the family. All of the ladies in the group would pull together and make sure that people were fed and needs were met. How to Start a Meal Train Being in that group for over ten years and preparing countless meals (not to mention the years I spent as the Coordinator myself) taught me a few tips and tricks about the art of meal delivery. As with most things, planning ahead and using the proper tools for the job are key. I’m excited to share with you what I’ve learned! The Two Best Meal Train Organizational Websites First, there’s Meal Train. When you’re organizing a calendar of one meal per day, the service is free. You can customize the dates and times the meals are needed and specify any food preferences, allergies, and more. The service interfaces well with other social media outlets to make sharing a breeze. Volunteers are emailed one week and then again one day before their requested date. The layout and design of this site is really nice and can even be set up using pictures for a more personal look. Meal Train is very user-friendly and has great tutorials and video demonstrations, too. Another option for meal calendar organizing is Take Them a Meal. Similar to Meal Train, this is a free service with customizable dates and times and a place to share preferences, allergies, and delivery instructions. You can set up reminder emails for your volunteers and can also password protect your calendar in order to keep information private. An added bonus to this service is the treasure trove of recipes and blog posts of suggestions to make the volunteer experience easier! While Meal Train appears shiny and considerably more technologically advanced than Take Them a Meal, both offer a convenient and free service. That said, you can’t really beat Take Them a Meal in the returning customer category. Over one million meals have been organized through that site! Tips for Meal Preparation and Delivery Think ahead when you sign up for a date. Look at your own calendar to check your availability. Know what you’d like to cook and check what others have already signed up to bring. Try to avoid repeats! There really is such a thing as too much pasta or chicken. Pay special attention to delivery requests. Note the time they have requested for their delivery and whether they care if the meal is delivered hot or cold. Be particular about the food containers you choose! I always try to use disposable containers whenever possible. That way, I don’t have to remember to track down dishes that I need back and the family with a new little one or ill family member has fewer dishes to do. Package your items carefully. Make sure lids close tightly and containers aren’t too big or too small. Learn from the time I ended up with meat gravy all over the trunk of my car! It was an ugly, ugly mess and my van smelled for months. Include preparation instructions. If your dish needs to be reheated, a topping needs to be added, or a salad mixed in a certain way, it’s best to include those instructions to avoid confusion. Double the recipe! So often it’s just as easy to make a double batch of a recipe as it is to make a single. Whether you keep the second half for your own family to eat or send it along ready for the receiving family to put in the freezer, doubling is best. Make note of special circumstances. How many kids and adults will be eating the meal you prepare? Are there food allergies? Things that the kids just won’t eat? It would be a shame to make a meal that the family couldn’t eat. Keep your visit quick. Unless you’ve previously arranged a visit with the family or are providing additional care, it’s best to be in and out as quick as possible. Make breakfast instead of dessert. If you like to bake, consider making some muffins or quick bread for the family to enjoy the next morning! Don’t stress if something comes up. Things happen. Kids get sick and life gets hectic. If circumstances change at the last minute, don’t stress. Offer to order pizza or deliver carry-out from their favorite restaurant. It might be just hit the spot! Favorite Recipes and Meal Ideas for a Meal Train Most people who love to cook have their go-to recipes and crowd-pleasers. In our group, certain people were known for certain items and it was always a treat to know that you were getting to share in the deliciousness. But if you need a little inspiration in the kitchen, here are some easy favorites that I frequently use. The Best Sloppy Joes from Mel’s Kitchen Cafe - Served up with some cut veggies, applesauce, buns, and chips or pretzels, this dish is a winner. Bonus: It makes a ton! Pioneer Woman’s Macaroni & Cheese - Pair this comfort food with a warm green vegetable in the cooler months or a tossed salad in the warmer ones and your friend will love you forever. Mom’s Deep Dish Pizza Casserole - All this easy dish needs is a side salad! Some other favorites I’ve made include breakfast casseroles for a “breakfast for dinner” night, meatloaf, barbecued pork sandwiches, or chicken sandwiches. Take Them a Meal recently published a blog post with helpful dinner ideas, too. The Ministry of Feeding People I can honestly tell you than feeding people in need is one of my very favorite things to do. Jesus told us that whatever we do for others, we do for Him. I hope that, if you see a need or are given the opportunity to help in this way, you now feel a little more prepared to do so. A little grace and a little mercy served up in a tasty dinner sure is good for the soul. [bctt tweet="Why and How to Start a Meal Train #BISblog //"]

Prayer to the Good Shepherd Lord of the 23rd Psalm, I have known death, and you have refreshed my soul. I have known fear, and you have comforted me. I have known hunger, and you have set a feast before me. In the darkest valley no calamity of humankind or nature has separated us. Teach me to walk as you walk Beside those in mourning so that they will know joy, Beside those in fear that they will know comfort, Beside those in hunger that they will feast until their cup overflows. As your goodness and love follow me, May mine follow my neighbor That the threat of the worst terrors May turn to the knowledge of the comforts of the house of the Lord, Where you have invited us to dwell forever. And so let me strive to help build on earth What you have promised us in heaven. In the face of all calamity, present and yet to come, Let me lead my neighbor beside quiet waters, The quiet waters of the Good Shepherd. Amen. -Prayer from Catholic Relief Services Reflect This day, the Fourth Sunday of Easter, called “Good Shepherd Sunday”, invites us each year to rediscover, with ever new astonishment, how Jesus defined himself, reading it again in the light of his passion, death and resurrection. “The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (Jn 10:11): these words are wholly fulfilled when Christ, freely obeying the will of the Father, is immolated on the Cross. The significance that He is “the Good Shepherd” thus becomes completely clear: He gives life, He offered his life in sacrifice for us all: for you, for you, for you, for me, for everyone! And for this reason He is the Good Shepherd! Pope Francis (source) Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. I recommend praying with “Shepherd” by Amanda Cook, Bethel Music. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Guard + Guide #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Elise Howe. You can find out more about her here.

This year, the right arm of St. Francis Xavier is travelling across Canada, giving thousands of Catholics the opportunity to venerate the first-class relic of a Saint who is said to have baptized over 100,000 people across the world. When I had the opportunity to venerate the relic, I didn’t realize the power of saintly intercession. What Jesus Taught Me Through St. Francis Xavier I thought the relic was more of a cool historical museum piece than a powerful way to interact with a holy Saint. But despite this, through venerating the relic, Jesus taught me three incredible things. 1. Conversion As a young man in college, St Francis Xavier experienced an incredible conversion with the help of the Holy Spirit and his friend, St. Ignatius Loyola (the founder of the Jesuit order). One of the gifts of his intercession is an equally powerful conversion in our own lives. As practicing Catholics, sometimes we forget our need to be converted. We become comfortable, thinking, “I pray daily,” or “I go to Confession regularly,” and so our relationship with God becomes stagnant. We forget to grow. But Jesus is always asking to draw in closer; He is constantly inviting us to be in a deeper relationship with Him. As C. S. Lewis says, “Further up, further in!” On this earth, there’s no end to the spiritual life, no “final goal.” Heaven is the goal. But, as I learned through the gift of conversion from St. Francis’ intercession, conversion is something that should happen to us every day as Catholics. Maybe this means adding five minutes onto our daily prayer time, or maybe it means taking up a new ministry in our parish. Maybe it means learning to love the people in our lives with more selfless generosity. Regardless, Jesus calls us deeper still, and He longs to encounter our hearts in a new way. [bctt tweet="Jesus calls us deeper still, and He longs to encounter our hearts in a new way. #BISblog //"] 2. Healing It’s been said that St. Francis Xavier performed countless miracles of healing while he was on his mission. This healing became a powerful witness to the power of God, which helped in his mission of conversion and spreading the Gospel message. Sometimes, modern Catholics think of healing as something that stays in the book of The Acts of the Apostles. After all, in Acts, people gathered around the apostles just hoping Peter’s shadow would fall over them so they might experience physical and spiritual healing! But the truth is, the same Holy Spirit that descended on the apostles at Pentecost is the Holy Spirit who is alive in the Church today. The Holy Spirit has the same power to heal, if we are open to inviting Him into our hearts and lives and if we have faith that He is truly capable. Sometimes, healing doesn’t always look like we want it to. Maybe we have a physical wound—a chronic illness or an injury—but what God really wants to heal is something in our hearts, like a grudge or a wound from an old situation. When I encountered the relic, I thought I didn’t need any healing! I was perfectly healthy. But God thought otherwise, and He healed unforgiveness which I was clinging to in my heart. Today, the Holy Spirit longs to heal every broken part of us, whether that be in our bodies, our minds, our hearts, or our spirits. [bctt tweet="The Holy Spirit longs to heal every broken part of us... #BISblog //"] 3. Mission This just might be the most powerful gift of St. Francis Xavier. He had the gift of an incredible mission, baptizing over 100,000 people. But he almost didn’t end up travelling to China, India, or Japan, where he carried out much of his mission. He was asked to go at the very last minute after another priest was unable to. Despite the change of plans, St. Francis had a missionary abandonment to the will of God for his life. Through his intercession, the Holy Spirit can move us to have the same missionary abandonment. Sometimes, we think of evangelization as being a vocation for only a few people: people like St. Francis Xavier, who travel across the world baptizing people, or people like Mother Teresa, or people who work in full-time mission. That’s what I thought before St. Francis Xavier’s intercession helped me to really understand evangelization. This idea couldn’t be more wrong. In the Gospels, the first reaction Jesus’ followers have to meeting Him is to run out and tell their friends. Andrew’s first response is to tell his brother Simon, “We have found the Messiah.” Simon Peter would later become the first Pope. The truth is that the natural response to Jesus Christ is mission. Obviously, we aren’t all being called to work as full-time missionaries or enter religious life. For some, our mission is carried out by being a listening ear to a friend who needs some selfless love. Or maybe it’s volunteering at a church program or youth group. Maybe it’s inviting that one friend who is searching for something more to learn about our Catholic Faith. St. Paul wrote that we should not only “revere Christ as Lord,” but that we should “never be afraid to give a reason for the hope that you have.” We need to share the light of Christ with the world. It’s not optional. It’s key to our identity as Catholics. [bctt tweet="The natural response to Jesus Christ is mission. #BISblog //"] St. Francis Xavier and Our Mission We may not all have the chance to venerate a Saint’s relics, but their intercession is still a powerful and tangible way for us to experience the gifts that Jesus wants to pour into our lives. Maybe in your life, you’re in need of one of these three gifts—conversion, healing, or mission. Maybe you need all three! Regardless, developing a relationship with St. Francis Xavier, one of the most powerful missionaries in Church history, can help us to understand how radically Christ is longing to change our lives, if only we have the courage to let Him. Have you ever had the chance to venerate a relic of a Saint? What was your experience? [bctt tweet="What I Learned from St. Francis Xavier #BISblog //"] Katherine DeCoste is a student of English and History at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, Canada. When she isn’t writing papers or studying for exams, she spends her time playing music, writing poetry, and striving to serve the Lord in small things.

One Wednesday night, my husband and I attended a class that Catholic Charities hosted at our parish about family stress. We sat in a partially-filled room as the topic of discussion focused on divorce, death, mental illness, substance abuse, and other traumatic life experiences. It was an installment of Wednesday night sessions titled "Catholic Things You Should Know". There was something markedly different about this class. It was as if a heavy blanket of discomfort had been draped across the room. While these classes are usually full, on that night, it was only at half capacity. Most of the people sat towards the back. There was less chatter in the room. As I sat there and listened to the information that Catholic Charities offers to those like me who struggle with one of the lesser-talked-about problems, I started to remember how I felt eight years ago when I would have occupied a seat in the back. AA: Ashamed Anonymous The memory of those feelings of hopelessness kindled in me the desire to stand on my chair and shout, “It’s okay. I’ve been there too. You are not alone.” I remember the fear and shame. I thought that I had to be the only one in my circle of friends who faced this problem. Most of all, I wished that I could reach out to others in my church, but I was too afraid to do so. You see, I am the mother of a recovering addict and alcoholic. And the wife of a recovering alcoholic. I didn’t dare share our secret. I didn’t want others to see my son or husband in a pejorative light. At that time, I felt like it was all my fault. How could I open up to families that seemed to have it all together? Would they ever understand? [bctt tweet="How could I open up to families that seemed to have it all together? #BISblog //"] A lot has happened in the last eight years. So much of it is nothing short of miraculous. I would even go so far as to say that the addictions of my loved ones have been the catalyst for my own personal conversion experience. My relationship with God is radically different today. In my twelve-step group for families and friends of those who suffer from addictions, I am told that "we are as sick as our secrets." I have found so much truth in that statement. The Original Shame One early morning, as I was reading the Genesis account of the fall, I realized something that I had never noticed before. It was something that changed the way I felt about our family secret. Genesis 2:25 says, “The man and his wife were both naked, yet they felt no shame.” They felt no shame in their nakedness. For me, I don’t think of literal nakedness. Instead, I consider the stark, naked state of my heart and the condition of my life. Can you imagine not feeling ashamed of your worst actions? I read on and noticed something that any faithful crime show enthusiast would notice—the timeline. While all is fine at the close of Genesis 2, in Genesis 3, Satan enters the picture and then all hell breaks loose. Literally. If you read Genesis 3 from the beginning, you will notice four things that occur as a result of the Fall. Adam and Eve are afraid and ashamed. They hide and blame. I could see myself in our current situation, employing each of these actions. The fear and shame caused us to hide and blame. We soon learned that refusing to face the truth of a situation becomes a heavy burden to carry. When we finally found the courage to stop denying our son’s problems, we had to go to God and expose ourselves—just as we were. And that is when things got better. Let’s remember that in Genesis, God already knew that Adam and Eve were naked. He knows us inside and out. Who did I think I was kidding by hiding? This story became a weapon for me in our fight against addiction. Whenever I was afraid or ashamed, I would remember that God didn’t want me to feel those things. God is only Love. He wants me to come to Him in my hurting state so that He can love and console me. It gave me courage. I began to recognize who the enemy really is. [bctt tweet="The fear and shame caused us to hide and blame. #BISblog //"] Divine and Human Help While it is important to always start by sharing our concerns with God, let’s remember that He made us to help each other, too. So how do we decide to share our most frightening secrets with others? Do we go out and tell everyone we see what is going on? Of course not. Each person must prayerfully decide for themselves. I began to pray about who I should let in. That one action put God in charge of our situation. Then, as I began to share, my team of prayer warriors grew. My load lightened. I started to realize that each time I shared, many times the person who I shared with had a family member or friend who also suffered from an addiction. Over time, I came to see how many of us are afraid to open up. Let me recommend that you begin by reaching out to your priest. It is a safe place to start. Then look into a twelve-step group. Everyone knows some version of your story and anonymity is practiced there. Once you open up, life will begin to change. You won’t be alone. Then, you can find the hope that is needed to fight this journey. Let's pray for one another, in whatever capacity we encounter addiction or shame, that we may all bring our burdens to the God who loves us unconditionally. [bctt tweet="Our Family Secret: Addiction and Shame #BISblog //"] Jean Heaton Lovell is the wife to Matt, a horse vet and the mom to three adult children, two dogs and one horse. She loves reading and learning about Ignatian Spirituality. After facing family drug and alcohol addiction, she became passionate about reaching out to others whose families struggle with addiction. It is her mission to change the conversation of addiction by sharing what she has learned about the Church and it’s history with the twelve-step movement and by offering peace and hope.

As a Catholic college student, it is easy to be tempted to despair at times when one sees the state of their college campus. The culture of college seems to grow more self-indulgent and harmful as the semesters pass. Partying, drinking, and the distorted culture of sex lead young people to turn away from God’s infinite love with each passing weekend. To not involve oneself in this culture is, of course, healthy for our souls as we strive to grow nearer to God and be involved in His Church. But we are also called to spread the Word to the masses. This is where the fear of failure can lead us to never begin. While it is understood that we are assigned with the mission of evangelization, it can be difficult to grasp the way in which to do so, especially when we are inundated with the culture of sin all around us. How to Be a Light on Your College Campus So how do we teach others to retreat from evil and run to the infinite love and mercy of our Lord? In my time as a college student, I've already learned a few key points. 1. College is the Perfect Place for Evangelization It is important to note that evangelization never happens in a setting that does not desperately need the light of Christ within it. The Word of God needs to be heard in the darkest places. We need to reach those who have cut God out of their lives. Historically, evangelists have been most needed when the world was at its darkest. It was during these times that the impact of the Church was imprinted so heavily on the world that we received converts in the masses fleeing home and striving for Heaven. Therefore, a college campus is the perfect place for evangelization to take place. In my case, I have a strong student center of young Catholic people who I can relate to and hang out with, which provides me with the company and support I need to spread the Word to other people on campus. 2. Do Not Give Up The temptation to despair when you feel you have not been a good evangelist can wear on us at times. Fear not, however, because sometimes it may be the smallest thing we do that brings someone closer to being open to the Faith. I have seen it in my friends, family, and people I barely know. Humans are inherently attracted to the light of Christ’s love. The seed of love for Christ rests within all of us from the moment we were created by Him. It is the fear that the enemy puts in their hearts that drives these people away. Deep down, all of our hearts were made to love our Creator with an infinite and burning love, stronger than any other. This type of love is called Agape, which translates from the original Greek to mean "the love of God for man and of man for God.” This love is reserved for our Lord and we all desire to love in this way. When our driving force is Christ's love, evangelization succeeds. 3. The Plan of Action It is important to put oneself in the space of the people who we are trying to evangelize. We cannot impact the lives of others if we are not involved in their lives. We must be willing to give of ourselves to the people that need to hear God’s message. Now, this does not mean we need to be best friends with everyone we meet. But with the few people in our lives who we want to reach at the moment, it is important to invest in them. This could mean inviting them to daily Mass, Bible study, Confession, Adoration, or even just an event at the Catholic student center on campus. It could be something as small as asking them to pray with you before you eat in the dining hall or getting coffee with them and learning about their questions and issues with the Faith. These little things will show them that you care about their soul and what they are going through. It also assures them that you are interested in their point of view and what opinions they hold. We are All Called to Evangelize It does not matter what location we are in within our lives, difficulties in evangelization will always arise. It is the perseverance and focus on God that will ultimately lead to successful evangelists and fishers of men. As Pope Francis prayed: Lord, teach us to step outside ourselves. Teach us to go out into the streets and manifest Your love. I'd love to hear from fellow college students. How do you share the love of Christ on your campus? What challenges do you face when it comes to living your Faith at college? [bctt tweet="Being a Light on Your College Campus #BISblog //"] Lizzie Wenberg is currently a freshman at Kansas State University studying graphic design. Her goal is to spread the love of Christ to everyone around her. You can find out more about her here.

Almost every evening as I head home from work, there is a homeless veteran perched at the end of the highway exit where cars line up at a red light. He is there in the cold and snow, the clouds and sun. At first, I felt compassion for the guy and wondered how I could help. But as he appeared day after day, week after week, I began to get angry. “Why don’t the police pick this guy up for panhandling? Isn’t loitering against the law? Don’t they have shelters for these people!?” I avoided eye contact with him, made sure my windows were closed and my doors were locked, and just stared at the traffic light, willing it to turn green. As I arrived home, thoughts of him would fade as my three rambunctious boys ran to meet me and began demanding every second of my attention from the moment I opened the door. Sometimes the would pop into my mind here and there. Other times I would forget about him until the next time I drove home. A Change of Heart Little by little, my anger softened and I began to wonder if there was anything I was called to do for this man. One day I passed him an apple and a banana I hadn’t eaten that day, just to ease my conscience. I recalled the proverb: “Give the man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach the man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.” Having worked in a downtown area before, I had been advised not to give people money; but rather, if they say they need food, buy them the food. All these thoughts ran through my head as I considered what I might do to help. Not getting any clear direction, I went about my daily life. Sometimes it would rain and he wouldn’t be at his usual post and I would inadvertently sigh in relief. But then I began pondering something my dad repeated over and over from childhood into adulthood: “God can never be outdone in generosity.” How many times had I wondered how I was going to pay for something and a side job dropped in my lap? Why, just the other day our toilet was leaking into the wall and a random check from the bank arrived in the mail. They said they made a mistake in our mortgage payout. And guess what? it was almost enough to cover the plumbing repair. [bctt tweet="God can never be outdone in generosity. #BISblog //"] Practice Generosity Because God is Generous So how does this idea relate to the man on the corner? I likely won't be able to make a huge difference in this man’s life. To tell you the truth, I still have no idea what I can do to help this man, nor why his plight weighs on me. But the one thing I don’t want to do is nothing. In the meantime, every time I see him and even when I don’t, I pledge to lift up a prayer on his behalf. How do you find ways to practice generosity even when you're uncomfortable or uncertain about what's really needed? [bctt tweet="Grappling with Generosity #BISblog //"] Tami Urcia is wife and mother to her small army of boys. She works full time in Catholic communications and is a freelance translator and blogger. She loves tackling home projects, keeping tabs on the family finances, and finding unique ways to love. Tami spent early young adulthood as a missionary in Mexico, then worked and traveled extensively before finishing her Bachelor’s Degree. Her favorite things to do are spending time outside with the kiddos, quiet conversation with the hubby, and an occasional break from real life by getting a pedicure or a haircut. You can find out more about her here.

For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy. -St. Thérèse of Lisieux I love these beautiful words spoken by St. Thérèse, The Little Flower and Doctor of our Church. Her simple, yet profound sentence transforms our lofty ideas of prayer and sets our hearts at ease. We can pray anywhere, at anytime! And we don’t even need to utter a word. Sometimes the most beautiful prayers are tears of pain or sorrow, looking toward Heaven to find comfort (John 11:35). Our faith teaches us that we are able to communicate with our Triune God, along with the Angels, and the Saints anytime and anywhere! What an incredibly beautiful and comforting reality this is. Praying as Christ Prayed Yet beauty is also found when we imitate Christ. In the Gospels, we often read that Christ goes off by Himself to pray (Mark 1:35, Luke 5:16). We can create a space in our home where we can retreat to and find Christ. Creating a designated space for prayer, quiet, solitude, silence, and listening within our home allows us to hear God’s voice in our life more clearly. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Why Create a Prayer Corner in Your Home? Within our homes, we designate places for cooking, eating, socializing, sleeping, and bathing. Do we have a special spot for God within our home? A place set aside for Him, our Heavenly Father, who created us and breathed life into us? The word "consecration" means “to set apart,” and we must consecrate a space in our home to God. We must give God our best space and our best time. When we order our hearts and homes correctly–with God as the head of our families–our lives transform and we begin to experience true freedom and joy. Making a prayer corner in our home is one way to create a special spot for us to spend time with God. It is essential for us to retreat with our Heavenly Father in silence and love. God has so many plans for your heart. He has so much to tell you, and so many ways that He wants to express His love for you. It is important that we take time for Him and listen to all He has to share with us. How to Create a Prayer Corner Here are some tips on how to create a prayer corner within your home: Assess your home and pick a spot. Where is the best place within your home for you to pray? Say a prayer and ask Christ for help in choosing your prayer corner location. Place a chair or kneeler in your prayer corner. Place spiritual reading, a Rosary, and a journal on a side table next to your chair or kneeler. Surround yourself with holy images. This can help focus your prayer time by reflecting on the lives of Jesus, Mary, and the Saints. Pray in your prayer corner each day–even if it is for five minutes. Tell your family about your prayer corner and encourage them to use it, too! Ask your parish priest to bless your house and specifically your prayer corner! Do you have a prayer corner in your home? How do you have it set up? [bctt tweet="How to Create a Prayer Corner in Your Home #BISblog //"]

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding and my entire will, all I have and call my own. You have given all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace, that is enough for me. -St. Ignatius of Loyola Reflect The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self—all your wishes and precautions—to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call ‘ourselves’, to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be ‘good’. We are all trying to let our mind and heart go their own way—centered on money or pleasure or ambition—and hoping, in spite of this, to behave honestly and chastely and humbly. And that is exactly what Christ warned us you could not do. As He said, a thistle cannot produce figs. If I am a field that contains nothing but grass-seed, I cannot produce wheat. Cutting the grass may keep it short: but I shall still produce grass and no wheat. If I want to produce wheat, the change must go deeper than the surface. I must by ploughed up and re-sown. C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Release + Renew #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Lindsay Schlegel. You can find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

If there's one thing I'm pretty passionate about, it's the importance of filling my home with books. When I was growing up, there wasn't a lot of extra money at hand. But my parents would always do their best to make financial exceptions for books. That mentality has rolled over into my own motherhood. Stories can be a great way to expose our children to our Faith in a way that is approachable and subtle. Books on the Saints for kids offer stories full of adventure, mysteries, and morals. But one good problem is that there are so many of them, and it can be hard to find a place to start. Wonderful Catholic Books on the Saints for Kids The following is my beginners' guide to filling your bookshelves with the Faith. Tomie De Paola Books One of my favorite authors is Tomie DePaola. Ever since I was a child I've loved his simple but beautiful artwork and stories. He's written many books about his Catholic Faith and many books on the Saints for kids. If I had to pick my favorites, they would be Mary, the Mother of Jesus and Patrick, Patron Saint of Ireland. His books on Bible stories and parables are also worth a spot on any bookshelf. Saint George and the Dragon by Margaret Hodges This book is a beautiful telling of the legend of St. George. Trina Schart Hyman's illustrations are sure to captivate any small child. It's a bit long in the text, but remains a favorite of ours. The Story of Saint John Paul II: A Boy Who Became Pope by Fabiola Garza Anyone familiar with the current Disney movies will notice a similarity in Fabiola Garza's book about the life of Pope St. John Paul II. And for good reason: she's a Disney character illustrator. Her book on JPII is touching and beautiful. I truly hope we can add more books from her to our library in the future. Our Lady of Guadalupe by Carmen Bernier-Grand This is another beautifully-illustrated book that tells the story of St. Juan Diego and Our Lady of Guadalupe. The language in this book is lovely and poetic. Martin De Porres: Rose of the Desert by Gary D. Schmidt This is a wonderful book about the life of St. Martin De Porres. While the book does not shy away from the adversity St. Martin faced, even within the Church, it is a story to inspire every little child. Roses in the Snow by Dessi Jackson Encounter the lovely story of a little girl learning the story of her namesake, St. Elizabeth of Hungary, from her grandmother. This book is a great option for any family with Princess-obsessed children and a wonderful example of how a real Princess followed God. Brigid's Cloak by Bryce Milligan St. Patrick isn't the only Irish Saint whose bio is worth stocking on your shelves. This is a wonderful tale about St. Brigid and her famous cloak. Saint Felix and the Spider by Dessi Jackson This is a fun tale inspired by the life of St. Felix. It looks at how a person's life can be "changed by one of God's tiniest wonders." Compilation Books on the Saints for Kids If you'd like a little more bang for your buck, or if you have children who are older, there are also many compilation books available. My favorites are the Once Upon a Time Saints series and Loyola Kids Book of Heroes and Loyola Kids Book of Saints. These are shorter studies on the lives of the Saints. They are great additions to your home library to help give older kids more stories from which to learn and draw inspiration. You can find a list of these books and more over on Goodreads. What are your favorite books on the saints for kids? Let's share more ideas in the comments below! [bctt tweet="Books on the Saints for Kids #BISblog //"] Molly Walter is a Catholic convert, wife, and mother to two children on Earth and four babies called home to Jesus. She has a deep love of her faith, her family, literature, handcrafts, gardening, and Star Wars. When not working full time outside the home or wrangling her next family adventure, she blogs about all the good things in life. Find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

Shortly after we started dating, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to be my best friend. It was important to him to have a true and deep friendship with me. We have tried to be intentional in being good friends to one another, and this has significantly transformed and supported our relationship. What Does it Mean to Have a Friendship in a Dating Relationship? Being friends with your boyfriend when you are definitely “more than friends” seems to really help order the relationship. It helps us practice a love that mirrors God’s love and friendship with us. God wants to be our best friend. He desires a love from us that encounters us in our deepest self. When I keep friendship in mind within my relationship I can more easily and more deeply encounter who my boyfriend is. It also helps me to be my most authentic self so I can likewise show up as a true friend to him. How to Cultivate Friendship with Your Boyfriend Friendship within dating ultimately means providing a place of safety where the other can feel safe sharing their deepest and truest self. A true friend can handle the parts of you that are silly, weak, broken, strong, uncomfortable, beautiful, intimidating, overbearing, fearful, wonderful, humiliating, angry, individual, and exquisite. Having a friend in your romantic partner means you are safe with him. You know he accepts you and supports you, regardless of how things are going, and you likewise provide the same safety, acceptance and care for him. [bctt tweet="Having a friend in your romantic partner means you are safe with him. #BISblog //"] 1. Be Intentional In order to cultivate something, it’s important to know what you want. Simply having the intention to be good friends with your significant other helps to make that happen. By simply voicing that you both want to be good friends to one another sets you on the path of learning how to do that well. 2. Be Friends with God Friendship with your boyfriend ultimately flows from friendship with God. Being good friends within a romantic relationship also helps us to mirror God’s love. The more we are connected in God’s friendship, the more we can be true versions of ourselves and true friends to one another. When my relationship is not going so well, it usually means I need to return more deeply to my relationship with God. It usually means that both my boyfriend and I need to individually turn to God in prayer, and to pray together. Our friendship with God is the source of our friendship with one another. When that gets out of place, we feel it in our relationship. [bctt tweet="Friendship with your boyfriend ultimately flows from friendship with God. #BISblog //"] 3. Practice Honesty Being a friend to my boyfriend means I have to show up honest and true. This means that I practice being honest about the good things I see in him and I share what I appreciate about him, even if I feel a little vulnerable. This also means I have to be honest about the difficult things, too. This is both the hardest and the best part about having your romantic partner be a true friend. We have to be open to share and to receive one another’s feelings and experiences, even if conflict is uncomfortable and we feel vulnerable. Being true friends means we care enough to confront. It is precisely our friendship that makes this kind of openness and truth-telling possible. I know that at the heart of it, this man receives my feelings and what I have to say. Likewise, he knows that I am his true friend who listens to him and accepts him and what he is experiencing. Friendship makes conflicts far more bearable to endure, but it furthermore makes the conflicts good experiences where we can come closer together and more deeply learn about one another. Our relationship then becomes a safe space of support, authenticity, and real love. 4. Have Fun The best thing about having a friendship with your boyfriend is that it makes the relationship fun! This could look like a spontaneous trip just to get out of the house, enjoying a playful activity together, or planning something special together. Personally, after working through conflicts or tough stuff, my boyfriend and I will often do something spontaneous or fun together. This helps us reconnect more quickly and come back to a space of joy and laughter together. I think nourishing our friendship in this way helps us care for our relationship as well as take care of one another. [bctt tweet="Being friends with your boyfriend makes the relationship fun! #BISblog //"] I am in no way an expert, and my relationship is not perfect. My boyfriend and I are simply two imperfect people who are striving to follow God and learn how to best love and care for one another. We have found that nourishing our friendship is a way that helps us along that journey. What about you? What do you think about cultivating friendship in a romantic relationship? If you are in a relationship, do you practice being friends with your partner? If you are single, is friendship in dating something important that you are looking for? [bctt tweet="Fostering Friendship with Your Boyfriend #BISblog //"] Mary Catherine Craige enjoys spending her time creating art, writing, and playing her Irish harp. She uses her experience as a Montessori teacher and catechist to serve young children through the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. As a life coach for business leaders, she encourages and challenges women in all walks of life to more deeply discover their purpose and live their full potential. You can find out more about her here.