As I was doing our bedtime routine with the kids the other night, we prayed the Saint Michael prayer. We began, “Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil... May God...”
And then my mind just went blank.
The lack of sleep, the long day, and the brain fog finally caught up with me and the words just totally slipped my mind. I blinked, caught up in embarrassment, and after a slight pause, my kids continued the prayer. “May God rebuke him, we humbly pray...” and so on until they said the rest of the prayer without me. I stared at them, in total awe and gratitude. I’ll admit, in a bit of shock, too, because I know that, as parents, we wonder half the time while we pray with the kids if they’re actually listening (they really are!) and if it’s making a difference (it really does!).
I was so proud of my kids and in that moment, I felt God telling me, “They are not just your kids. They are my kids first.”
A Load Lightened
That took a load off my back because I constantly wonder if I am doing enough for them or if I am doing the right thing.
Should I sign them up for more activities? How many more times will I have to remind them to say “please” and “thank you”? Are these time-outs even working?
But at least I know I am doing some things right. At least they know the Saint Michael prayer. At least they know who Jesus is, how He died for them, how angels and Saints pray for them, and how the devil never wins. When I know that I have made a mistake (which will inevitably happen again and again) and I have failed to be a good example, I know God never fails. I know He is the perfect example. I know the love and hope I have for them are nothing in comparison to the love, strength, and wisdom God has for them.
What My Kids Have Taught Me
I know it is my duty and privilege to teach my kids to be good people and equip them to face the world, but I did not expect that my children would be teaching me. Motherhood taught me so much—about my gifts and strengths, but also my weaknesses and selfishness. It exposed all the ugly parts of my heart and brought my issues up to the surface, leaving me raw and open so that I had no choice but to finally confront them. My kids teach me what it means to love and cling to their parents, to run to them when they fall and scrape their knee, to ask unceasingly to spend time together, to trust that they will be forgiven when they do wrong, to believe that they will be provided for.
Aren’t these the very things our Father is asking of us?
Having Faith in My Children
I remember when I became a mom for the first time and a friend asked me what had surprised me the most about motherhood. And while I thought about how difficult parenthood is, the amount of sacrifice, the complete and total life change it is, I heard myself saying, “Confidence. I feel more confident in myself than I’ve ever been.”
And it was true. Even if I was Googling “Is this normal?” in the middle of the night or crying desperate tears as my baby screamed in the car seat, I felt so sure about who I was, what my purpose was, and what I was made to do.
Now, after having multiple children and watching them grow over the past several years, I realize that yes, I have grown in my confidence and my ability to look after them. But actually, it is not about me. What has surprised me most about this season of motherhood is that I have grown even more confident in them: who they are, what their purpose is, how they will bring Jesus to others, and that Heaven is their home.
Despite my best efforts, it will ultimately be up to them to choose God and I have every confidence that they will. Every time my daughter draws a picture of the Sacred Heart, or my son reminds me to pray in the car, or my baby raises her hands in praise during a worship song, my heart soars.
Having Faith in The Father
And more importantly, I have grown more confident in our Heavenly Father. Because if my efforts and my love is making any difference, how much more will His efforts and His perfect love move their hearts? It is because of who He is, that I am able to let go and surrender my precious babies to Him. It is His grace that covers them, it is His peace that comforts them, His still, small voice that will guide them and remind them of who they are. It is His perfect love that will take them all the way home.
What are some ways you have grown as a mother? How has motherhood surprised you? How has God surprised you? How has He shown you that you can trust Him? What areas of your life can you surrender to the Lord?
They Are His Children First #BISblog //Click to tweet
Written by Maggie Kim.
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