On a recent visit to my parents’ home, my mother and I were eating breakfast together at the kitchen table. The silence of our togetherness seemed to fill the room, a room that once held the conversations my mom used to be able to have. But now that she has amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), her ability to speak is extremely limited. Since she must focus on carefully chewing and swallowing every single bite, meals with her are reminiscent of a monastery where we either listen to a spiritual podcast or eat in silence. She was doing her morning prayer reading on her phone, and I had a book pulled up on mine as well. Even before coming to the breakfast table, her morning was consumed with effort to simply do her morning stretches, raise herself out of bed, stand with her walker, and take care of her hygiene needs. Just two short years since her diagnosis have left her extremely physically limited, and it is only going to get harder from here. ALS attacks nearly every nerve that controls a person’s voluntary muscles, leaving most patients paralyzed with only the ability to move their eyes and eventually to death by respiratory failure.
That morning as we ate together, she opened the app she has which speaks what she types in a computer replication of her voice, and laboriously typed the words, “How do I offer my suffering up for all of the people who have asked for prayers?” As a lifelong daily Mass goer, she knows that her suffering can be offered for good by uniting herself with Christ and His Cross. But that morning, she wanted to know how to go about it intentionally. As providence would have it, I happened to be reading the book Offer it Up: Discovering the Power and Purpose of Redemptive Suffering by Megan Hjelmstad (of our Blessed is She writers!) at that very moment. The rest of my visit with my mother was interspersed with me sharing tidbits from Megan’s advice on how to join our suffering to Christ’s for the sake of others.
Suffering as Redemptive
Any cradle Catholic has known the phrase “offer it up” since childhood. The whole point of the Church prescribing Friday penance throughout the year and meatless Fridays in Lent is to teach us to unite our sufferings with Christ, Who died for us on a Friday. However, it is difficult to grasp how our suffering can be used for good.
In her book, Megan delves into the richness of the Church’s teaching on evil and suffering. As she focuses on redemptive suffering, she explains that it is “a form of intercessory prayer” and that “Jesus Himself modeled intercessory prayer on many occasions during His time on earth and urges each of us to follow His example in interceding for the salvation of souls” (p. 49). The Church tells us that we are invited by Christ to participate in His work of salvation—that because He became a Man and died for us, we can be raised into Heaven with Him. And the path to eternal life with Him is through the Cross. We are all called to Heaven through embracing our suffering in our own individual crosses, which are as unique to us as we are different from each other.
In our suffering, we are invited to join Christ as co-redeemers. Megan writes that “St. Paul teaches us that the difficulties and trials of every Christian can become fruitful for the sake of Christ” (p. 52). Paul writes, “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the church” (1 Colossians 1:24). During a year in my life when I suffered from two long-term illnesses simultaneously, I took great solace in praying with Paul’s words. I was given the grace to see the joy of suffering beside our Lord.
Suffering as a Gift
My mom has learned to embrace her suffering from ALS as a gift. That does not mean it is easy for her, for she is often frustrated by her limitations, but it means that underlying her whole experience of the disease is a deep joy and peace. She laughs more easily than she used to, and when I bring her to daily Mass on my visits, friends always come to her to share intentions and receive her joyful smiles. Mom knows where she is going and is willing to get there through the suffering that is before her.
Megan, who also suffers from chronic illnesses, also describes suffering as a gift. She incorporates the Parable of the Talents to explain. In Matthew 25:14-18, Jesus tells about three servants who were given different amounts of talents (a form of currency). Megan describes the sufferings we are offered as talents. Some people are given five talents, while others are given less. When applied to suffering, it is tempting to be like the servant who had one talent and bury our suffering in the ground, instead of offering it for others. But God calls us to be like those with five talents and gives us an opportunity to pray for much grace on behalf of others. Every moment of suffering, whether it is voluntary penance during Lent or on Fridays, or involuntary suffering inflicted upon us because of injury or illness, is a gift and invitation into Christ’s offering and redemption.
Simple Ways to Offer it Up
The breadth and depth of wisdom encompassed in Megan’s book cannot be contained in a short review, but I want to share a few tips from her on how to get started on suffering as intercessory prayer.
- Pray a Morning Offering. // Try this one based on the prayer by Father Francios Xavier Gautrelet (see p. 64).
- When you are suffering, say a short prayer of offering. // Megan suggests praying, “Lord, I offer this suffering for . . . and name a person or intention” (p. 61).
- When you anticipate a coming suffering, choose an intention and offer it in advance. // Use a prayer similar to the one above (see p. 63).
- Have an intention planned for each day of the week (see p. 66). // I recently assigned a day of the week to each of my six godchildren and it is a super helpful practice.
- Make a practice of “attaching a recurring offering to your daily schedule” (p. 66). // My mom has been offering the effort it takes to do her self-care routine for particular people and their intentions.
While the Lenten season is behind us, we will never be able to avoid suffering in this life. No matter what liturgical season we are in, our suffering is made light when we share it with Christ.
Susanna Spencer holds a master's in Theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville and is the Devotions Editor for Blessed is She. She is a freelance writer and editor and a teacher-in-training living with her philosopher husband and four kids in Saint Paul, Minnesota. She loves reading theology, attending beautiful liturgies, cooking delicious food, and casually following baseball. She is the author of the Gospel Studies including Seek His Kingdom: A Meditation on Matthew , Listen to Him: A Meditation on Mark, and Abide in His Love: A Meditation on John. She was narrator for Found: Advent With the Good Shepherd and Rescued: Lent With the Lamb of God and a contributing author and editor for our children’s devotional prayer book, Rise Up. She was the Theological Editor of the Blessed Conversations Studies. Find out more about her here.
Walk with Us this Advent
Get Your Prayerful Planner
