“Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith.” // Matthew 8:10
*trigger warning of miscarriage*
I prayed over my belly through the tears and the cramps, “Lord, I believe You are able. If You will it, restore life to my baby.” I prayed with humility and with faith. And yet, unlike the account in today’s Gospel, my prayer and my faith were not enough. The bleeding continued, and the ultrasound later confirmed nothing was left of our first-conceived babe.
The grief of those days was palpable. I felt guilt, confusion, and an overwhelming amount of sadness. And yet, I didn’t let myself feel my sentiments toward the Lord. I was avoiding His gaze. The elephant in the room that I did not want to address was, “Why did You not hear my prayer and work this miracle?”
Many would have us believe that the lack of a miracle is a sign of a lack of faith. Yet that is not always the case. When we look at the centurion in today’s Gospel, he did not rely on the strength of his own faith for a miracle. Instead, he relied on Jesus. He trustingly brought the matter to the Lord (Matthew 8:5) and submitted it to His wisdom and power. Our Lord responded simply, “I will come and cure him” (verse 7) even before He praised the magnitude of the centurion’s faith (verse 10).
Can we hand over to the Lord our needs and intentions in this same way—to trust in Him? Not looking to the greatness of our faith as a means of entitlement to signs and wonders, but instead, asking Him to work according to His wisdom, not our own. More than our faith, perhaps it’s about submission to His sovereignty.
I pray today, sister, that your heart will be filled with an overwhelming sense of this sovereignty and provision in your life, even when it is beyond what your mind can understand.
Jesus, I believe in Your power, in Your wisdom, and in Your sovereignty over my life. Have Your way. Amen.
Ask Him to work according to His wisdom. // Rocio HermesClick to tweet
Rocio Hermes is a Dominican-born, US-raised, stay-at-home mom who is excited about building community, baking desserts, and writing poetry. She holds a Master’s degree in Theology and has lived in Ethiopia as a missionary. Rocio now lives in Israel with her German husband and their son. She is a contributing author to Blessed Conversations: Dwell as well as Teaching Author on Blessed Conversations: Gift, a Study on the Eucharist. You can read more from her at graceandmercyblog.com.
Rocío Hermes es una mama de casa nacida en República Dominicana y criada en Estados Unidos, a quien le entusiasma construir una comunidad, hornear postres y escribir poesía. Tiene una maestría en Teología y ha vivido en Etiopía como misionera. Rocío ahora vive en Israel con su marido alemán y su hijo. Es autora colaboradora de Blessed Conversations: Dwell. Puede leer más sobre ella en Graceandmercyblog.com.
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