The Lonely Days

When I found your words, I devoured them; they became my joy and the happiness of my heart. // Jeremiah 15:16

Those days often felt so lonely, the ones when I believed myself to be the only one of my peers who cared about loving the Lord and following Him. I would open my Bible, turning to my favorite passages, praying over them again and again until I felt the Lord’s joy enter my heart and draw me out of myself. It was hard when I was not willing to do the things all of the other high schoolers were doing. I did not want to watch the movies or listen to the music that was popular. I knew myself well enough to know that for me, those choices would distract me from loving the Lord and corrupt my heart.

I loved the Lord’s words to Jeremiah, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all whom I send you you shall go” (Jeremiah 1:7). The Lord had called me to Himself from my childhood, and I particularly felt the anointing of my Confirmation. But the years that followed were hard. I found myself feeling like Jeremiah in today’s First Reading, wondering what I was doing even though I had felt the Lord’s call.

Why did the emotional pain never end?
How long would I have to beg the Lord for some relief?
Why did I feel surrounded by those opposed to the Lord?

Yet, I wanted all my peers to follow Him with me. And so I would go back to His Word. I would devour them. And those words “became the joy and happiness of my heart.”

Sister, the Lord has called you to Himself. Let us find joy in Him and His Word and give all we have to follow Him. Re-read today’s readings. Spend time with the Word today.

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About Susanna Spencer

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Susanna Spencer holds a master's in Theology from the Franciscan University of Steubenville and is the Devotions Editor for Blessed is She. She is a freelance writer and editor and a teacher. She lives with her philosopher husband, three teen daughters, one pre-teen son, and a miracle baby girl in Saint Paul, Minnesota. She loves reading theology and novels, attending beautiful liturgies, cooking delicious food, and casually following baseball. She is the author of the Gospel Studies including Seek His Kingdom: A Meditation on Matthew , Listen to Him: A Meditation on Mark, Preach in His Name: A Meditation on Luke, and Abide in His Love: A Meditation on John. She was the contributing author and editor for our children’s devotional prayer book, Rise Up. She was the Theological Editor of the Blessed Conversations Studies. Find out more about her here.