When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be well?” // John 5:5-6
I don’t think I’m alone in experiencing conversations like the following with my parents while I was growing up:
Me: It’s just not fair!
Mom/Dad: Life’s not fair!
Whatever it was, and it was always something, it wasn’t fair! Looking back over my life, I’m not proud of what I’m about to share, I’ve often fallen into the habit of looking at what I didn't have and wishing I had it, or wanting something in my life to be different, I always felt like I wasn’t enough and that wasn’t fair either!
I often found myself wallowing in self-pity wishing things were different, wishing I was better, wishing I didn’t struggle in the ways I did, wanting to make myself better. Notice how I said, wanting to make myself better.
It’s often in those moments that Jesus breaks in. He comes to us; He sees where we are struggling and doesn’t ask us how He can make it fair. He doesn’t ask how He can make a situation better on the surface. He comes and asks, “Do you want to be well?”
“But, Lord, I don’t have this one thing, I would need this or that, it’s not fair.”
Do you want to be well?
“Lord, I’m not good enough, I don’t have what it takes, it’s never going to happen.”
Do you want to be well?
“I’ve been struggling for so long, I’ve tried everything, nothing’s gotten better, nothing will ever get better.”
Jesus doesn’t ask what we need or think we need to be well. He doesn’t ask what we need to make ourselves well. All he asks is, “Do you want to be well?”
Sister, as we journey through this Lent, Our Lord is asking you today, “Do you want to be well?” Leave the excuses aside; set the despair aside.
Let Jesus love you, let Jesus see you, and when He asks, “Do you want to be well?” simply receive His gaze and allow Him to make you well. Then take up your mat and follow Him.
Let Jesus love you. // Sister Maria Fatima @DSMMEVocationsClick to tweet
Sister Maria Fatima grew up in Rhode Island and entered the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist in 2005. She holds a MA in Theology from the Saint Paul Seminary School of Divinity. Sister is in her eleventh year of enlightening middle school minds and drawing hearts to Jesus while teaching religion and history. She currently resides at the motherhouse in Ann Arbor, MI, having previously taught in Texas, Florida, and Ohio. She is a contributing author to our Lent devotional All She Had.
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