God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments. Therefore, I will trust Him, whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him, in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about. -"The Mission of My Life" by Cardinal John Henry Newman Reflect God does not hide behind clouds of impenetrable mystery... He has shown Himself, He talks to us and is with us; He lives with us and guides us in our lives. Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Purpose + Guidance #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Molly Walter. You can find out more about her here.

Many of us are facing the longest, coldest, most dreary part of the year. Winter has us in its grasp and we’re immersed in the penitential season of Lent. Now more than ever it’s easy to fall into a rut, to become captive to fear, to listen to that voice in the corner of our hearts telling us that there’s no point to anything or that it can’t be done—whether “it” is healing from some wound, discerning a vocation, or even just making it to heaven. It becomes difficult to cultivate hope in our souls. Resisting Despair As a very melancholic introvert, I am especially susceptible to falling into the doldrums. There are some times when even trying to foster hope seems like too much work. I am tempted to lie in the darkness and hide in my own doubt rather than reach out towards the love of God and His healing grace. St. Paul urges us on in the struggle to resist despair: Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. -Hebrews 10:23–24 But how to hold fast, especially when we're not feeling cheerful or optimistic about life? Sometimes it’s easier to throw up my hands than to fight back against the distrust, the moodiness, the dark despair that creeps into my heart. It’s so difficult to hope when confronted not only with the events around me, but also with my own faults and wounds, with my feelings of inadequacy and emptiness. [bctt tweet="Let us hold fast the confession of our hope...for he who promised is faithful... #BISblog //"] How to Cultivate Hope (Even When You're Not Feeling Hopeful) Happily, though, hope is not a fleeting feeling of well-being that we can only wait around to catch. It is confidence in God’s goodness, love, and power to save. As a wise priest once told me, the key to growing in hope is fortitude. Like any other virtue, hope can be built by habitual acts each and every day, acts that we can persist in even when the feeling of hopefulness is not present. It’s not an easy task, but there are concrete practices that can grow it surely and steadily, little by little. 1. Go to Eucharistic Adoration. There is nothing that can strengthen and heal the heart more than the quiet, loving gaze of Christ in the Eucharist. 2. Make acts of hope throughout the day. Maybe you don’t have any hope; maybe you feel hypocritical saying that you trust in God when you feel fear. But even simply telling Him that you want to have hope is enough to start. A perfect prayer to use is the line of the suffering father to Christ in the Gospel: “I believe; help my unbelief" (Mark 9:24). 3. Surround yourself with art that contains hope and beauty. Today we are inundated with television, literature, and music that, while artistically masterful, is often incredibly dark and drenched in nihilism. While there’s certainly no need to switch to watching exclusively Hallmark movies or reading novels with happy endings, there is something to be said for consciously choosing to remove certain types of art from your life if you know they will be an obstacle to hope and peace. 4. Read St. Francis de Sales. St. Francis de Sales' writing exudes peaceful confidence and constantly encourages us to have courage even in the face of our own troubles and imperfections: Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow; the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day. Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace, then, put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginations, and say continually: The Lord is my strength and shield; my heart has trusted in Him and I am helped. He is not only with me, but in me and I in Him. His Consoling Thoughts on Trials of an Interior Life and Finding God’s Will for You are good places to start. 5. Read the Psalms and keep one nearby to glance at throughout the day. So many of the Psalms deal with hope, despair, and the struggle to have confidence in God’s love and promises. Psalms 88 and 130 in particular are beautiful outpourings to the Lord to use when you just feel too hurt or tired to go on. Psalm 16 reminds the reader how strong and good and true the faithfulness of the Lord is, and how He will sustain us through all life’s storms. 6. Pray a litany of trust, like this beautiful one written by a Sister of Life. And of course, whenever hope is hard to come by, when it just seems like too much work to fight for it, Mary our Mother is there to strengthen us. We can go to her and ask her to fight that battle of hope for us when we feel too weak to carry on. Be of good cheer, sisters, and remember: “The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” Sisters, how do you cultivate hope in your heart when life feels hopeless? [bctt tweet="How to Cultivate Hope When You're Not Feeling It #BISblog //"] Maria Bonvissuto is an editor who lives and works in Washington, DC. In her spare time she reads voraciously, plays classical guitar, and spends hours discussing the good, true, and beautiful with her friends. This post contains affiliate links. That means if you make a purchase by clicking through one of our links, we receive a small portion of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting Blessed is She in this way!

Music ministry is probably one of the most debated aspects of the Mass. Personally, as a very musical person, I find that music can either be the element that most draws me into the beauty of the Liturgy, or the element that I find extremely distracting, preventing me from focusing on prayer. As someone who’s been involved with music ministry at Mass from a young age, I’ve often experienced the stress of having to choose appropriate hymns for different parts of the Liturgy. Music ministers, you know what I’m talking about—there seem to be countless factors that go into our choices! Luckily, the Church provides us with some guidelines about how we can properly choose music for the Mass. Following these guidelines can help us glorify God in the best way possible through our musical talents. But sometimes, they can be hard to comprehend at first. The majority of the following explanation is derived from Guidelines on Music in the Liturgy by the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops. Their document, in turn, is based on the imperative from the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (GIRM) that when the faithful gather to worship, “their communal action, which is called liturgy, is composed of certain symbolic gestures (rites and sacraments) within which music and singing occupy a privileged place” (GIRM 393). Other guidelines are drawn from Musicam Sacram, the Second Vatican Council’s document on liturgical music (MS). Guidelines for Choosing Songs for Mass 1. Music should be holy. Okay, this one might seem obvious at first. If we’re picking music for Mass, it’s just common sense that the music would worship God in some way! Well, it’s not exactly that easy. What’s meant by the phrase, “Music should be holy”? Music that’s used in the Mass should correspond with the part of the Liturgy during which it is sung. Sometimes this can be clear-cut. For example, if we are choosing a processional hymn, we probably shouldn’t pick a song that talks about Jesus sending us out to be disciples. It just doesn’t fit! But at some parts of the Mass, the lines start to get a bit blurry. During Communion, for instance, the Church says our music choices should directly reflect the Eucharistic mystery that’s unfolding before our eyes. Okay, makes sense. But this can have different meanings. Maybe our hymn directly reflects Eucharistic theology (correctly—a lot of songs have questionable theology about the Eucharist). Or, maybe the hymn reflects our unity with Christ. The Church also gives us the option to reflect on the feast day, if that Sunday happens to be a feast day. So on Easter, feel free to use a song about the resurrection (MS 10)! Having to fit our music in line with certain parts of the Mass might feel limiting at first. There could be a song you absolutely love that doesn’t seem to fit in at any time in the Mass. Thankfully, over the past 2,000+ years of Christian tradition, the Church has given us a huge selection of beautiful music to choose from. If a song you love doesn’t fit in, maybe it can be saved for music ministry outside the Mass, like a praise and worship night or lay service. 2. Music should be beautiful. Again, this seems straightforward at first, but it can lead to disagreement amongst parishioners or even within your music group! I’ve learned that everyone has a different definition of beautiful Liturgical music. Some love Gregorian chant and find anything else too distracting. Others have an affinity for traditional hymns with easy melodies that allow the congregation to follow along without difficulty. Still others want more modern praise and worship music that was written and released very recently by popular groups. The truth is, all these types of music are beautiful. And as a music minister, there will always be one person who doesn’t enjoy your hymn choices. The most important thing is that, no matter who disagrees with your idea of “beautiful” Liturgical music, Mass is still Mass. Jesus still shows up. Our job as music ministers is not to please every single person. Our job is to glorify God and lead the community in praising Him. The Church does prescribe some guidelines for deciding what is “beautiful.” Like I talked about above, music should be fitting to the part of the Liturgy during which you’re going to play it. As well, music should be suited to be sung by your group (MS 9). All of us have different talents, but if a song requires complicated piano that’s beyond your abilities, maybe choose a different one. The song should also be suitable to be sung by the whole assembly. This means that if your song requires years of musical training to be able to sing, it’s probably not the best choice. Music ministry isn’t a performance, it’s a collective form of worship, and it should be accessible to most people in the congregation. [bctt tweet="Our job is to glorify God and lead the community in praising Him. #BISblog //"] 3. Music should be universal. This is where it gets a little complicated. Universal? What does that mean? The Church’s guidelines say that music should be in a language that’s comprehensible to the majority. So, in the United States, that usually means English. If you’re singing at a Mass that’s being said in a different language, however, it’s a good idea to find songs in that language (MS 47). Music should be appealing and accessible to most people in the congregation. This is actually pretty difficult. I’ve used traditional hymns, and heard complaints that they weren’t accessible to youth. I’ve used more modern songs, and heard that they were too loud or boisterous for older members of the community. Of course, these are stereotypes. I also know youth who love traditional music and older parishioners who get excited about modern praise and worship. This is one of the situations in which you should try your best. Presenting a range of music, such as a couple of well-known hymns alongside newer hymns, might be a good strategy (MS 10). Lastly, music should not offend anyone’s “prayerful sensibilities.” Basically, this means music should not blatantly prevent anyone from prayer. Now, if there is one person in your parish who absolutely cannot pray unless you only chant in Latin, you probably don’t need to worry about it. But playing a loud, fast-paced song with drums and fancy guitar riffs during Communion probably isn’t the best idea, either. Music ministry should invite the congregation to glorify God, rather than become a distraction where the ministry group shows off their talents at the expense of a prayerful community atmosphere. The Most Important Part of Music Ministry Music is a beautiful way to glorify God. We’ve been using it since the time that David wrote the Psalms! The best way to assure that music ministry glorifies God is to offer it up to Him. Try dedicating every rehearsal and Mass to His glory, and ask the Holy Spirit to help you lead the congregation in praise. None of us are going to choose the perfect music every time. As ministers, we should ask God to give us open hearts, so that we are willing to learn and improve as we try to glorify Him. Most importantly, people in music ministry are using their talents to serve God, and that’s hugely admirable. Doing music for Mass can be stressful and time consuming. So as a congregation, we should have forgiving hearts if they happen to play our least favourite song or choose a song that’s inappropriate. If we have serious concerns, we should bring them up to our pastor gently and with love, not with a spirit of vendetta or anger. After all, the aim of music in the Mass is to create a community of worshippers (GIRM 103), not to create division. [bctt tweet="People in music ministry are using their talents to serve God. #BISblog //"] Want to Read More about Choosing Songs for Mass? For more resources on liturgical music, see: Pope St. John Paul II’s Chirograph on Sacred Music Catechism of the Catholic Church Sacred Art and Music from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops [bctt tweet="How to Choose Songs for Mass: A Guide for Music Ministers #BISblog //"] Katherine DeCoste is a student of English and History at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, Canada. When she isn’t writing papers or studying for exams, she spends her time playing music, writing poetry, and striving to serve the Lord in small things. This post contains affiliate links. So if you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you so much for supporting this ministry!

Travel and faith. These are two words that are important in many people's lives. You may notice that, generally, many separate them by thinking of traveling as one part of our lives and prayer as another. Have you ever considered that these two walks of life, traveling and practicing your Faith, were made to be combined together? Faith and Fun are Connected We live in a world where faith can be disagreed with, rejected, denied, embraced, loved, or hoped for. Everyone fits into one of these categories; therefore, faith is a part of all of our lives. When we consider traveling, some may say they are happy to be home and not travel the world. Others catch the travel bug and can't stop, changing their Facebook relationship status to: "In a relationship with my passport." 5 Ways to Discover God While Traveling Whether you are a jet-setter traveling the world as often as your bank account allows or are happy being in your hometown and occasionally making small road-trips to give yourself a break, discovering your Faith while traveling is something that can benefit us all. 1. Pre-Holiday Excitement Picture this: You have just booked your flight to Europe. Your accommodation and tours are scheduled. Now, you start to pack and eagerly wait! How great is the feeling of excitement? This enthusiasm instantly gives us extra energy and makes everything about life seem wonderful. It fills us with such joy that no one can dampen our mood. In these moments, we can discover that God is indeed with us. The excitement we experience can turn into a joyous gratitude for the opportunity we have been given to travel. So enjoy this excitement and be sure to give your thanks to our great God who makes all great things possible! 2. Living in the Moment In this crazy world we live in, many young women travel just to capture a photo and post it on social media to see how many likes they get. Some of us even determine our self-worth by the amount of likes we receive. As great as it is to take photos for memories and to share those moments with friends and family, there is beauty in simply sitting and taking in the stunning views that surround us. Mother Teresa reminds us: Be happy in the moment. That's enough. Each moment is all we need not more. Life can be crazy enough, and we often focus on the fears that chase us from our past and worry about what lies ahead. What a gift it is then that we have the present moment! Whether it is enjoying the view of the rose garden in your own backyard or the mashed-potato-like clouds 30,000 feet above the ground, every view is beautiful. All it takes is a change of perspective to find the beauty given to us by our God in every moment. 3. Re-discovering Natural Beauty Our lives are busy. The chaos of traffic, long flights, and crowds of people walking through a city center can add to the noise. We can easily walk past a beautiful 100-year-old oak tree in a nearby park or look out the window of a flight with views of snow-capped mountains and not acknowledge the magnificent beauty right in front of us God speaks to us through His creation. After all, He created the world for us so that His glory is present on earth and surrounding us everyday. The details He placed on his creation—be it on each rose petal we see or through the ripples of the clear water of the Adriatic Sea—are just a few of the ways He shows us His beauty here on earth. He reminds us that even amidst trials and hardships, beauty always exists. [bctt tweet="God speaks to us through His creation. #BISblog //"] 4. Keeping a Travel Journal In our current culture, we text more than we write. So when we are given the opportunity to take a travel journal with us on a trip, it is great to put the technology aside and enjoy the peace that we receive through hand-writing. Travel journals are a great way to stay in touch with God throughout a journey. Take note of the moments of the day in which He has made Himself present to you. He shows Himself to you through small and big moments. We can even be the answer to the prayers of people around us. Like when a stranger on the street approaches you to ask for directions and you relieve their anxiety of being lost in a foreign city by pointing them the right direction. By reflecting on these daily encounters, we can see how God reveals Himself to us bit by bit, making our holidays all the more meaningful. 5. Everyday Traveling St. Mary Mackillop of the Cross, an Australian saint, is known for her words: We are but travelers here. She was not referring to backpackers who are city-hopping as often as possible. She was referring to each and every one of us. We are all pilgrims. This life is just a journey to our ultimate destination: Heaven. Each day we have on earth is a chance to be the greatest versions of ourselves. This can happen while traveling to a beautiful holiday destination like Hawaii where you attend a local mass and get to know the locals. Or it could be an average day in your hometown were you donate clothes to the poor. Either way, the right opportunities are placed in our path by our God to become the women we are called to be. [bctt tweet="This life is just a journey to our ultimate destination: Heaven. #BISblog //"] Our Travels can Be Our Missions Let us remember that our God is traveling with us and is always by our side. He is always showing us, through everyday activities and thoughts, that He is with us and wanting us. He desires for us, as His daughters, to go forward bringing a piece of Him to the world that so desperately needs Him. John Paul II proclaimed in his Letter to Women: Through the insight which is so much a part of your womanhood, you enrich the world's understanding and help to make human relations more honest and authentic. Let us remember that traveling and faith are two aspects that work best together. By traveling and practicing our faith, we can discover more about our loving God and how we can be His "witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all of Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth" (Acts 1:8). How have you discovered God throughout your travels? Share with us below! [bctt tweet="5 Ways to Discover God While Traveling #BISblog //"] Antonia Lisica is the founder and blog content editor for The Adriatic Fox, which she started with the purpose to inspire young adults to travel with a different perspective and to practice their faith whilst travelling. She loves chocolate croissants, calligraphy writing, and plane-spotting. She hopes to inspire many young adults to travel with a purpose.

To teach the grey earth like a child, To bid the heavens repent, I only ask from Fate the gift Of one man well content. Him will I find: though when in vain I search the feast and mart, The fading flowers of liberty, The painted masks of art. I only find him at the last, On one old hill where nod Golgotha's ghastly trinity --- Three persons and one god. -"The Happy Man" by G.K. Chesterton Reflect So penance is for loving. Penance is for atoning. Penance is for identification. The only reason I can engage in penance, or desire to, is because I love. No other reason should ever be in my mind. I am not doing penance and mortification because I want to earn God's love or to deflate the wrath of God. There is no wrath. God is merciful. I don't have to do penances in order to appear a little holier than the other person. That would destroy me totally. We have to think of fasting and penance as two hands that are lifted up to God in petition, glorification, and above all, love. For when we lift those hands up, we enter into a mystery beyond our kenning. It seems to me that when I lift my hands, the hands of the Father lift me up, for he has beheld his Son fasting and enduring. Servant of God Catherine Doherty (source) Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Contentment + Repentance #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Christy Isinger. You can find out more about her here.

I recently Googled “parenting teens” just to see what would come up. To my complete lack of surprise, here are some of the articles that popped up on the first page: Dealing with Difficult Teens 5 Mistakes Parents Make with Teens A Parent’s Guide to Surviving the Teen Years Parenting Course: DCF Approved Parenting Teens: Discipline and Communication Raising Teenagers: The Mother of All Problems Yikes! Our culture wants us to believe that teenagers are difficult, challenging, disrespectful, rude, slothful, slovenly heathens who live only to make our lives as mothers more difficult. Well, I am here to call shenanigans on that! Of course, those assertions are true sometimes. But no one is perfect. I'm pretty sure the same could be said about every one of us from time to time. Teenagers are interesting, complex, and enjoyable humans! Caught in the middle of who they were as children and who they’ll become as adults, they have a unique perspective on the world and their place in it. They are old enough to shoulder responsibility and young enough to still need us. They test us and try us. And then, in an instant, they make us prouder than we ever imagined possible. Staring The Teen Years Squarely in the Eye Nothing can prepare you for parenting a teenager until you have one. My oldest two boys just turned sixteen and thirteen last month. The older son is over six feet tall and his younger brother matches every bit of my height. What a strange feeling it is to have to look up to meet your baby’s gaze! I’ll be perfectly honest. When my oldest was twelve, I dreaded him turning thirteen. I knew what to do with babies, toddlers, and school-aged kids. They were a known entity. But teenagers were mysterious and scary. And having a thirteen-year-old made me sound old. I wanted no part of it. Then, someone dropped a nugget of wisdom that changed my attitude. She said, “You know, when he wakes up on his thirteenth birthday, he’s still going to be the same kid he was when you told him goodnight. And you’re still going to be his mom.” This realization made me realize that I was as ready as I was ever going to be to be the mom of a teenager. Does that mean I haven’t had moments of head-scratching confusion as I look at these man-children of mine? No way. In fact, it’s happened more times than I’d like to admit. But if I have learned anything over the past three years, it’s that I still have so much to learn. Advice from the Trenches Just like we all used to reach for all the pregnancy and child-rearing books we could find as new moms, we still need to call in the experts from time to time. And who is more experienced than other mothers?! How to Parent Joyfully During the Teen Years A while ago, I was faced with a situation with my son that made me wonder if I had any clue what I was doing. I wondered what advice the older, more experienced moms I know and trust would give to the mom of a newly minted teen. Here’s what they had to say. 1. Listen When I polled the more experienced moms of teens, this one word was mentioned again and again. My dear friend’s mother said, “Always be willing to listen, even if it’s not something you want to hear.” Another mom offered that her family has a rule of no phones during dinner. With no phones, she says, the teens talk and talk about whatever they want. The parents simply listen and listen. Think about that. In and amongst everything they say is the good stuff, the meat of how they think and feel. Don’t just listen to their words. Listen to their body language, sleep patterns, activities, and appetites. And mamas, listen to your own gut. If things seem “off,” they most likely are. Remember, the same God-given instinct that told you when a toddler’s fever was more than just a fever is and always will be your best tool for navigating the tumultuous teen years. 2. Be Selective Not everything has to be a big deal. A teacher at my child’s school said, “Pick your battles wisely. Not all battles are worth it.” My cousin reminded me to ask, “Will this matter in five years?” Ask yourself: is this an inconvenience, or are the consequences eternal? If it’s a problem that can be fixed with minimal effort, fix it and move on. But if it affects their soul, their morality, or that of other people, then it’s definitely something to spend more time and effort to make right. 3. Consistency is Key My aunt said, “Don’t change your rules. Be true to yourself.” Teenagers can spot BS a mile away. They also like to test their boundaries. Staying consistent, staying true to who and what they know you stand for, will help them to do so, too. Another friend said, “Raising teenagers starts when you are raising babies. I feel like if you did what you were supposed to do back when they were toddling around, it has paved the highway of the teen years.” You spend your child’s whole life forming a strong foundation and relationship. Count on that and grow from it. It’s so tempting to take the easy way out. But sticking to your guns is so much more beneficial in the long run. And what is this parenting gig except the longest of the long runs? We are in it for the long haul and heaven is our goal. A little persistence goes a long way. [bctt tweet="Raising teenagers starts when you are raising babies. #BISblog //"] 4. Show Affection Now is not the time to stop those hugs and kisses, sisters. In their hyper-sexualized and sensual worlds, teens need to be reminded of real, holy, and pure love. And, quite honestly, you need to hug them as much as they need to hug you. There will be a time, most likely more than one, when you will need to wrap your arms around your child and remind yourself that he still is your baby. That walking, talking sack of hormones and sass is the same one that used to suck her thumb and curl up in your lap after naps. Bone of your bone and flesh of your flesh. And no matter what idiotic thing they may have done, you belong to each other. No matter what our kids are going through, we need to love them through it. I can’t even count the number of times I have turned back to this advice. And you know what It always works. No matter the phase, no matter the stage. No matter what ludicrous stunt they pull or ignorant and surly words they say. Always, always answer with love. [bctt tweet="No matter what idiotic thing your teen may have done, you belong to each other. #BISblog //"] Want to Know More? Now, remember those scary article titles at the beginning of the post? While very much real, they probably aren’t what you want to be reading right now. Here, however, are some great Catholic resources you can turn to for entertainment and encouragement as you set about going through those wild and wooly teen years: BIS’s own Mary Ruth Hackett’s blog Parenting with Peer Review is very helpful. Dr. Greg Popcak has written several books on Catholic parenting. Sarah Swafford, Jason & Crystalina Evert, and Chris Stefanik all have great websites and/or books that can help you bridge the gap with your teen about more sensitive topics. Happy parenting, sisters! Find joy in your teens every day. Because, as I’m finding out, these years fly by all too quickly. Are you a parent of teens? How do you find joy amidst the transition? [bctt tweet="Finding Joy in the Teen Years (Plus Advice from the Trenches) #BISblog //"]

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a great gift to Catholics. But sometimes we don't avail ourselves of this grace as much as we should. Sometimes fear or uncertainty keep us from His Divine Mercy. But, sisters, there is so much hope and healing in this Sacrament. Maybe we just need to be more comfortable with the process in order to be more confident in going to Confession. Why Should I Go to Confession? From the Catechism of the Catholic Church 1446: Christ instituted the sacrament of Penance for all sinful members of his Church: above all for those who, since Baptism, have fallen into grave sin, and have thus lost their baptismal grace and wounded ecclesial communion. It is to them that the sacrament of Penance offers a new possibility to convert and to recover the grace of justification. We go to Confession in order to restore our relationship with Christ and our relationship with the Church. The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a Sacrament of Healing because we are cleansed, restored, and strengthened. In the life of a Catholic, frequent Confession should be a high priority. It is in this Sacrament that we weed out anything that keeps us from Christ and are given the graces to resist temptation and to grow closer to Him going forward. How to Go to Confession Maybe it's been a while since your last Confession. Maybe you're a little intimidated by the process and the fear is keeping you from this moment of mercy. We've all been nervous to go to Confession before, so you're not alone. But let's not let fear prevent us from running to the loving arms of our Father. Sometimes, fear can be eradicated simply by being prepared. Many of us worry that we will forget the "right words" or that we won't remember how to participate in the Sacrament. Together, let's walk through the process of going to Confession so that we can be confident in approaching the throne of grace. 1. Examine Your Conscience The first step in the Sacrament of Reconciliation comes before our confession begins. It's important to take the time to examine our conscience. We pause and reflect on our life and look for the ways we have done wrong or failed to do good. The important part of this process is to reflect on our sorrow over our sins and how they have hurt Christ or others in our life. There are many wonderful Examinations of Conscience that can walk you through this process step-by-step. Blessed is She has created one for you, and you can download it at the bottom of this post. If it helps, print off your Examination of Conscience and bring it with you. Make marks by the sins you've committed, or make notes in the margins. I've done this before and it helps me to relax and not worry so much about remembering everything. Once you've examined your conscience, you're ready to celebrate the Sacrament! 2. Pick Your Preference Depending on where you go to Confession, you might have the option to either sit with Father face-to-face or to kneel or sit behind a screen, keeping your identity anonymous. Either way is acceptable and no one way is better than the other. Of course, the beautiful thing about Confession is that it can be celebrated anywhere. That means you might not have this option if you're going to Confession in an airport or outside or in a restaurant. 3. Greeting and Blessing Father will usually greet you with a smile and will open by blessing you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. At this point, it is common to let the priest know how long it has been since your last Confession. If you can't remember exactly, an estimate is fine. 4. Confession of Sins Here's where you list your sins. If you can recall, let the priest know how many times you've committed each sin. It helps him understand what you struggle with most. It can be difficult and, frankly, embarrassing to admit our sins. But let me offer some comfort. There is no sin that a priest has not heard confessed. I promise that nothing we say will shock the priest, and he will not judge us. Most priests forget our specific sins (think of all the Confessions they hear!), so we don't need to worry about him thinking horrible things about us the next time we see him at the fish fry. 5. Acceptance of Penance After you've listed your sins, the priest will take a few minutes to offer guidance or reflection. Then, he will give you a penance to be performed in reparation for your sins. Sometimes our penance is a list of prayers offered for specific intentions. Sometimes it's an act of love to be completed. Ideally, our penances will correspond with our sins, offering us another opportunity to choose Jesus over sin. 6. Act of Contrition Once the priest has given you your penance, he will ask you to make an Act of Contrition. There are so many beautiful Acts of Contrition available to us, and we can even make one up on the spot. Here's a lovely one to keep on hand: O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell. But most of all because I have offended you, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve with the help of your grace, to confess my sins, to do penance and to amend my life. Amen. 7. Prayer of Absolution After you pray your Act of Contrition, Father will pray the Prayer of Absolution over you: God, the Father of mercies, through the death and the resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. This prayer holds such beauty, freedom, and healing. It's my favorite part of the Sacrament. 8. Closing The priest might close with the words: Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. And you respond: His mercy endures forever. Not all priests say this, though, so don't sweat it if it doesn't come up. That's it! See? Not so scary. 9. Perform Your Penance The final part of Confession is fulfilling our penance. Sometimes this can be done rather quickly in church after the Sacrament, and sometimes it takes more intention and time. An Examination of Conscience for Women {formbuilder:MTAwODU0} We at Blessed is She are happy to offer you an Examination of Conscience for Women. We use the Seven Deadly Sins as a framework to examine all the aspects of our lives. At the end, we reflect on what Heavenly Virtues we can seek to live out in place of the sins that keep us from Christ. What's your favorite grace of Confession?

I am a cradle Catholic. There, I said it. I wish I could share my conversion story and tell of an intensely earnest, perhaps even tear-stained journey from where I was to where I am now. There are a million blessings to claiming this Faith since childhood. Many bear very real scars from their journey home that will ache until they see Jesus face to face. I know this is immature and exasperating for those who undertook great sacrifice to gain what I was handed at birth, yet the fact remains: I am jealous of converts. Coveting Converts Conversions It started in high school, when my conscience (unfortunately not my love for Christ) kept me from enjoying many “harmless” pleasures with my peers. I wanted to be less intimately acquainted with the straight and narrow. At the time, I didn't think it was fair. Why didn’t I get those years to make big mistakes and create an interesting, colorful history that would in turn shape my eye for Truth and grant credibility to my future convictions? I wanted not only to experience the decadence of self-indulged hormones and worldly passions, but the other side of the coin. My desire was to live to tell so that when I started to speak, my friends wouldn’t roll their eyes and say “Okay, Lorraine” (referencing my very hospitable, very Catholic mother). I was keenly aware of what I missing at the time: fun-fun-fun and any credibility in my stance against it. Credible Converts My desire for conversion grew in college. Deepening conversion just didn’t cut it for me. I wanted the "real deal." My Catholic Studies courses only stirred the pot. Thérèse was dull and obvious (forgive me sweet St. Thérèse, I was young!). Of course she loved the Lord, she was surrounded by saints from birth! St. Augustine, however, had a story that stirred hearts! I coveted the innate attention to detail and appreciation for the finer points of the Catholic Faith that I saw in converts, things I had either long forgotten or took for granted. I wanted to discover it all for myself for the first time, a possibility that just wasn’t available to me. My longing was to delight in the Biblical significance in every crevice of the Mass as my formerly Protestant friends did. I wanted to appreciate the unceasing love and mercy of God in the way that my formerly agnostic friends did. I wanted to tell others about my Faith with all the power and backstory that converts had. When asked if I had grown up Catholic, I was reluctant to say "yes." I quickly qualified it with all the ways in which I had objectively studied and prayerfully discerned the Truth of Catholicism for myself. I was, clearly, missing the point. My focus was on action and adventure in the prologue, all the while ignoring the novel even as it was being written. What Converts Taught Me About the Gift of Being a Cradle Catholic I have come a long way since those college days. Real-life backstory, loss, pain, and joy have greatly mitigated this desire. The love I now have for and receive from Jesus is powerful enough to quiet and humble this predominantly self-centered longing. I have come to find that opportunities to meet Christ and experience His love as if for the first time abound. He is always inviting me deeper. Ours is a dynamic relationship, and for His part, He will never be ordinary or predictable. I can love Jesus fiercely and evangelize boldly despite our conventional introduction, for He pursued our meeting just as He pursued St. Augustine, even unto death. He held me in His mind’s eye as He walked the road to Calvary. He loved me to my very core as he offered His last breath for our eternal unity. The only thing limiting my power to proclaim the Gospel with credibility and creativity is the part of my heart that I have not yet handed over to Him in freedom and trust; the part of my heart that He gently continues to call to conversion. All Relationships with Christ can be Dynamic and Deep There are no lackluster relationships with Christ. They all start as a passionate love story in which the Lover gives His life for the beloved. They all end with an eternal embrace. I know the truth: that conversion, reversion, and deepening conversion are all swallowed up in the timeless now in which the better half of our relationship resides. That how I live my life today grants more credibility to my Faith than how I came to believe in the first place. That sacramental grace was with me from the earliest age and has done more good for my life and soul than I can possibly imagine. Although a small part of my heart still pines for a more exciting prologue, I have found peace with my pilgrimage. I wouldn’t give up a single day I have had with Jesus. I only wish I had lived them better. But I have today. I will meet Jesus today, a familiar Friend, yet always that mysterious Lover who leaves me wanting more. Are you a cradle Catholic or a convert? What do you love most about the way you came into the Faith? [bctt tweet="Why I'm Jealous of Converts (and What They Teach Me) #BISblog //"] Kayla Sanmiguel lives in Saint Paul, MN with her husband Javier and their (almost) four children. She works in Institutional Advancement for The Saint Paul Seminary and otherwise spends her time soaking up these fleeting years when toddlers run amok. You can find her thoughts on faith and psychology at Mind & Spirit.

Almsgiving is one of the most prominent aspects of our Faith’s Lenten practice. We all know that Lent is a time to give more than our norm, and I think most of us earnestly desire to follow through on that call. But for many of us living in seasons of life when our budgets are stretched to maximum capacity with all of our time, treasure, and talent already fully invested, figuring out how to do even more can feel overwhelming. But what if there was a way to give alms during Lent by incorporating a bit of intention into the ways we already invest our stretched dollars and full minutes? Giving Alms By Changing the Way We Shop Changing our consumer habits is one way we can create space in our life to give more without having to actually fit another thing on the payment schedule or the calendar. It is a simple shift in perspective to see that the purchases we make can create a more humane, compassionate culture in our world. By shifting some of our spending budget to ethically sourced, fairly-priced products, we can use the Lenten call to giving alms as an opportunity to create a long-lasting shift in our lives. This approach honors human dignity and has a big impact on the world. It only requires us to care enough to stop and think a bit, break our routine, and assume a new behavior because we see the value in it. This, I think, is the Kingdom Christ proclaimed with His words and His life. [bctt tweet="The purchases we make can create a more humane, compassionate culture in our world. #BISblog //"] Ways to Give Alms by Shopping Ethically So what might it look like to give alms this way during Lent, and hopefully beyond? Well, think about the purchases you make daily along with the seasonal purchases you typically make during Lent. What if you committed to only purchasing coffee labeled Fair Trade? How about filling your Easter basket with Fair Trade chocolate and gifts made by organizations that empower workers? What if you looked for ethically sourced clothing options for your family’s Easter outfits this year. And if you can’t purchase everything in that way, what if you shopped with intention to replace one item per family member? Giving Alms and Global Impact How does this kind of almsgiving effect the world? Well, this article, which discusses the reality of wages for factory workers in Bangladesh, brings the idea home: If people start to think, "I don't only need to buy cheaply but I need to buy responsibly," that is when things will start to change. When customers say, "I will only buy a sustainable product that has been made responsibly," the entire supply chain will change, because the market rules. It is the customer who is the king. In our Faith, we know we are inferred a kingly right and role in our Baptism. The way we use our consumer power is a reflection of this kingship. This Lent, we have a chance to give dignity to our brothers and sisters as our alms. And really, is there anything better to give? Ethical Shopping Guides If you are not sure where to begin with sourcing ethically-produced products, there are multiple guides available online. I love this Ethical Consumers Buyer’s Guide page because it is comprehensive and easy to navigate. Catholic Relief Services provides some great guidance on their Ethical Trade page as well. For tons of ideas for Fair Trade Gifts, I have curated this Pinterest board. And to help you snag that perfect ethically-sourced Easter dress, try this one. Let’s help each other on this journey. Lent is a time to go a little slower in your life and to pay attention, because salvation is near. What if we used that time to whisper the same message to workers and families across the globe with the way we invest our money? What are your questions or comments about shopping ethically? What are your favorite fairly-sourced products to share? [bctt tweet="Giving Alms by Shopping Ethically #BISblog //"] Colleen Mitchell is wife to Greg and mother to five amazing sons here on earth. They serve in Costa Rica where they run the St. Francis Emmaus Center, a ministry that welcomes indigenous mothers into their home to care for them pre and postpartum. She is the author of Who Does He Say You Are. Find out more about her here.

Come, my Light, and illumine my darkness. Come, my Life, and revive me from death. Come, my Physician, and heal my wounds. Come, Flame of divine love, and burn up the thorns of my sins, kindling my heart with the flame of thy love. -Dimitrii of Rostov (source) Reflect Lent is the time to start breathing again. It is the time to open our hearts to the breath of the One capable of turning our dust into humanity. It is not the time to rend our garments before the evil all around us, but instead to make room in our life for all the good we are able to do. It is a time to set aside everything that isolates us, encloses us and paralyzes us. Lent is a time of compassion, when, with the Psalmist, we can say: ‘Restore to us the joy of your salvation, sustain in us a willing spirit,’ so that by our lives we may declare your praise (cf. Ps 51:12.15), and our dust – by the power of your breath of life - may become a ‘dust of love’. Pope Francis (source) Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. I recommend praying with “Here I Bow” by Brian & Jenn Johnson. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Breathe + Restore #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Elise Howe. You can find out more about her here.

The season of reading pink, chalk-like candy sweethearts with anecdotal sayings like “I love you” and “True Love” is upon us. So what is true love? Can you find it in a children’s book, a biography, a novel? Sometimes you might want a light-hearted story to read, while other times you may want a book that digs deeper. Below are a few of my favorite books that talk about love in a variety of forms. Love shared between friends, love shared within the family, and also that deep, burning, can’t-quite-quench-it-on-this-earth kind of love that God has for all of us. Spiritual Books about Love The World’s First Love: Mary, Mother of God by Fulton J. Sheen This book was recommended in our Best Books About Mary post, but it is such an eye-opening book that it is worth recommending again. In these pages you will be inspired by Venerable Fulton J. Sheen’s portrayal of the Blessed Mother’s life. He speaks specifically to women, placing importance on our great dignity, unique gifts, and ability to bring healing. He also emphasizes Mary’s heart—which burns for her children—showing her deep love for us. The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis This book holds one of my favorite quotations, “To love at all is to be vulnerable.” The beloved British writer and author of The Chronicles of Narnia and Mere Christianity shares his insight on the nature of love and how it plays out in our day-to-day lives. He categorizes them into affection, friendship, Eros, and charity. In his study of love, do not be surprised if you find you have the strength to begin opening up your heart and allowing Jesus to pull you close. Catherine of Siena by Sigrid Undset This biography is written by one of the greatest novelists and Nobel Prize winners of the twentieth century. This same author wrote the classic book Kristin Lavransdatter. The author—a third order Dominican herself—will ignite in you a love for the great St. Catherine of Siena. Undset will give you a close-up look into the passionate love shared between St. Catherine and her Lover, Jesus Himself. As you flip through these pages, you too will taste the intense and consuming love that God is inviting you to receive. Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West In this book we receive a thorough, understandable, and condensed version of Pope Saint John Paul II’s teaching on the Theology of the Body. The human body is created to be a sign of God’s divine love, and in this book you will discover how you can experience the kind of love you long for. The Way of Trust and Love: A Retreat Guided by St. Therese of Lisieux by Father Jacques Philippe One of St. Therese’s great gifts is that she surrendered herself so trustingly to God’s love. This exploration of St. Therese’s writings was first shared by Fr. Jacques Philippe during a retreat. Through his words, we will learn from the Little Flower how we, too, can embrace the virtue of humility and trust in God’s loving tenderness and goodness, just as she did. Stories about Love The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows This #1 New York Times bestseller is coming to the big screen in April! This love story takes place in the mid 1900s and transports you between the warmth of a book club on a tiny island to the big city. The main character in the book, writer Juliet Ashton, lives a dramatic life in the bustling city of London. She begins to receive letters from Dawsey Adams, a native from the small island of Guernsey, who came across her name in a book. Dawsey shares with her about The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society—a book club held on his island with tightly knit friends—which began after the German occupation. Before long, she leaves her life of drama in London and sets off for Guernsey. This decision changes her life forever. Will she choose to return to London and her suitor there, or embrace the new-found life on Guernsey? You are Special by Max Lucado Have you ever dreamed of receiving a love letter? Here is one you can re-read, each and every day. It is a love letter to you, reminding you that you are loved for simply being you. This book may have been written as a children’s tale, but one never tires of hearing that “You are precious in His sight.” If you do have little ones, snuggle up on the couch and get ready for a cozy and comforting read. A Year of Mornings: 3191 Miles Apart by Maria Alexandra Vettese and Stephanie Congdon Barnes In this photographic collaboration between two friends, you will get a glimpse into the precious, morning moments which so often go unseen. Although these two women had only met in person once, they maintained a friendship through their mutual love of capturing the simple moments in life. A fresh cup of dark and bold coffee, warm buttered toast, a bouquet of fresh flowers. As you page through these images you may find yourself reflecting on how you have expressed your love to your children, your spouse, your friends, by doing the very same things that these two women have captured and shared. These pages show the stuff of life! All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr This is a beautiful story about a father’s love for his daughter, Marie-Laure. Marie lives in Paris where her father works as the keymaster of the Museum of Natural History. When she was just a child, she lost her sight. As a gift to her, her father built her a miniature model of their neighborhood so she could use her sense of touch to memorize it and find her way around town and to her home. When the Nazis occupy Paris, Marie’s memorization of this miniature model may be the hope she needs to survive. This book, which is written so poetically, was ten years in the making, a #1 New York Times Bestseller, and Pulitzer Prize winner. The Fellowship of the Ring by J.R.R. Tolkien This book may seem intimidating to pull off the shelf due to its length, but this fear will soon dissipate as you enter into a world of deep friendships. You'll read with a twinkle in your eye, a smile on your face, a shudder down your back, and perhaps a few tears. In the first few chapters, you will get a glimpse into the friendship of Bilbo Baggins and his young friend, Frodo, in the cozy region of The Shire in Middle-earth You'll learn what friendship looks like when friends love with a truly selfless love. A Severe Mercy: A Story of Faith, Tragedy and Triumph by Sheldon Vanauken I don’t often cry, but this book had me near tears. The author was a good friend of C.S. Lewis, and letters from him are included in this love story. As you flip through these pages, you will delve into the relationship of a man and woman who desire nothing to break the “shining barrier” in their marriage. When the wife, Davy, has an encounter with God, this barrier is threatened. The couple learns how to navigate their differences in what they think about God’s existence and why suffering happens. [bctt tweet="I Heart Books: About Divine and Human Love #BISblog //"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!

Filling out a bit of paperwork recently, I was given the choice of two states: married or single. It gave me pause because very simply, I am neither. I am a widow. My husband passed away over five years ago, and I am still struck by how the word "widow" can be such a conundrum. In fact, I have found that identifying myself as a widow can be quite the conversation stopper. There is an awkwardness that surrounds the word. Introducing myself as a widow seems to require a response, but it is as if folks don't quite know what that response should be. An expression of sorrow seems trite and common, especially since his passing is a past event. Asking for details in response seems intrusive. The Reality of Widowhood For myself, as a widow, to not identify as such seems to negate a large part of my life and to erase a big part of who I am. It may be that any word associated with death is the crux of the issue. Death remains one of the few remaining taboos in our social culture. While we will explore just about anything on social media or even at a cocktail party, death is still not acceptable as a conversation subject. In many respects, even the widow herself finds it awkward. We still carry an image of the widow as quiet and withdrawn, dressed in black, older, forever in mourning, less vibrant, less active. The product of this image is in effect: an unhappy woman. The reality of life as a widow is very different. Becoming widowed is a part of marriage. It is one of the many seasons of marriage and of life. Eventually, it becomes ordinary for the person living it. The initial shock, grief, and sadness becomes complicated by all the big issues associated with death. There are emotional, financial, and family issues to address. These are made even more complex if there are minor children to comfort and support. There are, what seems to be, endless firsts to embrace and small heartbreaks as one grows accustomed to morning coffee alone or an empty side of the bed. There is loneliness and loss. There is silence. Christ is the Consolation At the same time, there is also comfort. Family and friends carry us through the rough spots. There is also the ever-present comfort of faith. The words of the book of Revelation, a book often shrouded in mystery, become strongly comforting. Revelation 21:4 reads: ...he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more, mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away. These words remind us that, as Catholics, we live in hope and promise. We live not just for eternal life, but for the hope, thanksgiving, and remembrance we share in the Eucharist. We remember that Christ lived and died to give us that life eternal. [bctt tweet="As Catholics, we live in hope and promise. #BISblog //"] Celebrating and Remembering The life everlasting promised us by Scripture and Tradition begins within ourselves. Celebrating the life completed begins with the memories we cherished. For myself, celebrating that life completed happens each time my children gift me with another grandchild or when my eldest daughter uses a phrase coined by her father while she was growing up. It happens again when another child looks at her toddler son and suggests that, for one fleeting second, he bore a look that echoed the grandfather he never met. The celebration grows broader each season through photos, Christmas ornaments, and anecdotes told around a dinner table. These memories become a glorious trigger of a life shared, as well as completed. Being Comforted in Widowhood My personal faith has always been heavy on activism and intensity. A large portion of my life has been spent teaching and working in the realm of social justice and change. Fueled by my faith, I believed in a call to make present the Kingdom of God. Through my husband's passing, I learned that ensuring preferential options for the poor and imprisoned is also my birth right as a woman of Faith. It is my duty to feed and to comfort. I also learned that in Faith, in my relationship with the Lord, and in our Catholic community, there exists a place for my own comfort and consolation. I learned to sit and be still and let God be God, walking with me through the profound sadness while leading me to the realization that I had the privilege of living to completion this sacrament of marriage. [bctt tweet="In our Catholic community, there exists a place for my own comfort and consolation. #BISblog //"] Widowhood as a Season In the end, being a widow isn't awkward, it isn't lonely. At least not forever. It is yet another season of life that contains good days, bad days, and simply ordinary days. In fact, life as a widow isn't better or worse that life as a married woman. It is a different life. It is one that requires some getting used to, but different nonetheless.The difference isn't good or bad, it is simply different. [bctt tweet="Life as a widow isn't better or worse than married life. It is a different life. #BISblog //"] There are days when I wish I had been a better wife and friend to my husband. There are days when I wish he had been a better husband and friend to me. There are days when I am glad my husband has been spared some of the suffering that is part of the day-to-day struggle of life. There are days when my morning coffee routine is still missing its other half. There are, however, no days without some thought of him: a memory, a reaction I can imagine, a smile I can still feel, a laugh I can still hear. As long as those moments exist, then being a widow means celebrating a life completed, a life I had the privilege to share. Are there any widows in our Blessed is She sisterhood? How to do you celebrate the life of your beloved? [bctt tweet="On Widowhood: Celebrating the Completed Life #BISblog //"] Kathy Schlossmacher is a retired high school Religion teacher and a widow residing in Buffalo, NY. In her spare time she hangs out with her dog and grand kids, reads, writes, knits and drinks coffee.

As Lent is the time for greater love, listen to Jesus’ thirst…He knows your weakness. He wants only your love, wants only the chance to love you. -Saint Teresa of Calcutta Lent is a beautiful time to grow in deeper love with Christ. It is fitting that Valentine's Day falls on the first day of Lent this year. We have just entered into the greatest love story—a divine romance—with the King of our heart. He who loves us so completely wants our love and the chance to love us. Let Him love you this Lent. [bctt tweet="Let Him love you this Lent. #BISblog #AshWednesday //"] Closer to Christ During these weeks leading up to Easter Sunday, the Church invites us to self-reflect and honestly ask God how He sees us and the ways that we can better ourselves for Him. Each Lent we have the opportunity to enter into Christ's passion and suffering in a real and deep way. We have the chance to ask Christ to make our hearts more like His: merciful, attentive, generous, and eager to love. Yet for a transformation to take place within us, we must put in the effort. For our lives to bear fruit, we must plant the seeds and nourish the garden of our body and soul. This may seem overwhelming, but when we realize that Christ is our love and that He is our soul's spouse, we can rest in the knowledge that He will lead us, just as a husband leads a wife. Here are three ways that we can open our hearts and give permission to Christ to lead us to the Resurrection this Lent. [bctt tweet="For a transformation to take place within us, we must put in the effort. #BISblog #Lent //"] Three Ways To Have A Fruitful Lent 1. Delve Into Your Parish Family Our parish is our family and needs the gifts we have to offer. Talk to your pastor or read your bulletin to see what volunteer opportunities your parish is offering this Lent. Introduce yourself to someone you have yet to meet: someone who sits alone every Sunday, a mother in the cry room, or a catechumen. Just as Christ was aided by people through simple acts of love during the Way of the Cross, let us help those within our parish family this Lent. We have the opportunity to be Saint Simons and Saint Veronicas to others. We can help people within our parish carry their crosses, and wipe away their tears and pain. 2. Go to Confession Confession is such a beautiful, healing Sacrament. It allows us to be transformed into vessels of grace. When we leave the confessional, the gifts of grace and peace are bestowed upon us. We become more in-tune and open to the Holy Spirit, who desires us to flourish. Lent is a time of reflection and healing and this is the best way to reflect on our lives and let God heal us. 3. Return to the Scriptures Christ prepared for His ministry in His youth. He was constantly surrounded by the Scripture. He was clearly well-versed enough to teach and amaze others when Mary and Joseph found Him in the temple. Familiarizing ourselves with the Scriptures is a great way to prepare our minds, our hearts, and our souls for what God has in store for us. We can do this by committing to reading the Bible each night, trying our best to attend daily Mass, or bringing a Mass journal with us on Sunday to reflect on each Sunday's readings. There are many Lenten devotionals, and some parishes even supply their own. Reflecting on the Scriptures, and deriving new insights from them, is nourishing to the soul. It is thus because it is the very Word of God, Jesus Himself, that nourishes us. God bless your Lent! What are some ways you strive to grow closer to Christ during the Lenten season? [bctt tweet="3 Ways to Have a Fruitful Lent #BISblog //"]

“Will you be my boyfriend? Check Yes or No," I wrote at the young age of 12 on my wide ruled piece of notebook paper. I ripped it out as delicately as I could, folded it up true write-and-tuck style, and slid it into his locker. Pre-cell phones, this was how we chatted with our friends. We took a pen to paper and folded our notes up in all kinds of cool ways (the “pull here” tab was another favorite). We felt like origami masters when we slid them into the recipient's locker. This is how we built community. Still Nervous There’s nothing like nervous anticipation in that awkward pre-adolescence phase when it comes to waiting for the "Yes or No" response. After my last class of the day, I opened my locker to grab the books that I needed that night. And there, like a glimmering beacon of hope or rejection, sat the note at the bottom of my locker. I couldn't risk opening it in front of everyone. I packed my backpack, slid the note in one of the pockets, and walked into the locker room to get ready for cross country practice. The fear of others seeing our rejection forces us all into becoming timid recluses. After I sat down on the bench, I slid my hands into the pocket and pulled out the note while squinting my eyes, afraid of the answer. I slowly opened it. He had checked the "Yes" box. I immediately showed it to my friends on the team and bragged. I was, exactly like you would expect, a giddy little middle-schooler. With that simple origami note, with that simple checked box, we began a relationship. Several decades later, extending invitations hasn't gotten any easier. Searching for Community This summer, my husband and I were missing our old neighborhood and lamenting the fact that we didn't know people living in the houses all around us. We were sad that our kids didn't have anyone to play with on our street. After over a year of wallowing in my timid ways, I decided to do something about it. I decided to extend a "Check Yes or No" note to our neighbors. We taped invitations on doors inviting our block over for drinks in our driveway one night. I tried to not get too worked up about what it would look like if no one showed up; but thinking about what a thirty-year-old sitting in her driveway at her failed lemonade stand would look like was not a pretty picture. Then, people showed up. People checked Yes. Our kids played for three hours straight with new friends, invitations were extended for future front yard hangouts, and I even got a new babysitter’s phone number. Everyone agreed that the lack of knowing the people who lived across the street was a tad ridiculous. Building a community is hard work and extending the first invitation sometimes feels just as awkward as it did in middle school. Even Jesus, the Son of God, got checked No. When he tried to speak in his hometown, old neighbors doubted His credibility, wisdom, and power because He was just a carpenter (Mark 6:1-6). [bctt tweet="Building a community is hard work. #BISblog //"] Ways to Build Your Community As a Resident Assistant and FOCUS campus missionary, I found three ways to more easily build the community we all desire. 1. Find Common Ground Pope Francis always tries to find “doors that are at least a little bit open” where common ground can be found. Our neighbors all wanted to enjoy beverages on a warm day and meet each other. To alleviate any stranger-danger fears, I used that open door to organize the event. Plus, the wine didn’t hurt. 2. Invite You can’t have the cool house on the block if you don’t invite people to it. I love being invited to fun parties or on trips with friends, and I need to think outside of myself and return the favor. Rather than stressing about how pretty our invitation looks, how clever our text comes off, or how Pinterest-y our house is, let's just live the golden rule and invite. 3. Be Intentional Finally, to enjoy the second hangout you have to trade digits or schedule it. Not in a formulaic way, but in an organic, "You run? Let’s go the gym together!" kind of way. Even if you have the swankiest party, if you don’t follow-up, the relationships won’t last. The community you are trying to build will fizzle. I got together with an old co-worker and friend a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen her in 10 years. She saw a picture we posted on Facebook in her town and had the courage to send a Facebook message asking, "How long are you in town". We got together and caught up on the past 10 years the next morning over a Starbucks in my hotel lobby. It was amazing. It was worth it. It takes courage to extend an invitation. Still, no friendship or community can be built (or rebuilt), until we lay down our pride and try. What are some ways you intentional try to build your community? What are your greatest struggles in doing so? [bctt tweet="Check Yes or No: Courageously Building Your Community #BISblog //"] Ashley Stevens is a Catholic convert, collegiate athlete, wife, and mother of three beautiful girls. While serving as a FOCUS Missionary shortly after getting engaged, she was T-boned by a Mack truck and nearly lost her life. She lived to tell the tale and her ministry encourages those whose life isn't going according to plan. Find out more about her here.

Lord, teach me to be generous, To serve You as You deserve, To give and not to count the cost, To fight and not to head the wounds, To toil and not to seek for rest, To labor and not to ask for reward, Save that of knowing that I do Your will. -St. Ignatius of Loyola, "Prayer for Generosity" Reflect Consider this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each must do as already determined, without sadness or compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Moreover, God is able to make every grace abundant for you, so that in all things, always having all you need, you may have an abundance for every good work. 2 Corinthians 9: 6-8 Listen For musical inspiration for your restful Sunday, listen to our BIS Rests playlist. [bctt tweet="BIS Rests: Give + Sow #BISblog #BISrests //"] Curated by Sarah Stanley. You can find out more about her here.

I frequently contemplate the gift of genuine faith, and how it is the foundation of our lives. Yet, so many things yield to mold our faith. For example, different virtues aid in shaping our intrinsic character, the Sacraments help to build and sustain our faith, and even the trials and suffering we face can greatly impact our faith and trust in God. Maturing Faith as a College Student This year, I finished my first semester of college. I can attest that this transitional time in my life produced a very special personal transformation through the grace of God. I attended a private Catholic all-girl high school and held an executive position for my school’s Campus Ministry. The transition from Catholic high school to Catholic university gave me the comfort of being surrounded by people who understood and practiced the same Faith. Sure enough, God opened my narrow mind and walked me through my transformation of childish faith to the childlike faith He calls us to in the Gospels. In my first semester as a college student, I've learned three important things about maturing my faith. 1. Be transparent to find friends who foster your best self. My mom always told me, “Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are.” Naturally, we all surround ourselves with friends who share the same interests, hobbies, and perspectives. More often than not, we find ourselves in our own friends. However, I will be the first to admit that college made me feel overwhelmingly small, just like a small drop of water in the vast ocean. I had trouble finding honest friendships. I was afraid people would label me as a “Jesus freak” or a “goody goody” if I told them I was a practicing, faithful Catholic. So I tucked my faith away for a little while until I finally found friends who shared the same love for God. Because of my internal friction and dishonesty with myself, I attracted and welcomed the wrong kinds of friends. The more time I spent making new “friends,” the less time I spent seeking communion with God. In this instance, my childish faith got the better of me and hid away my passionate love for God. My immature faith made me deny myself, and as a result, made me deny God. I felt publicly ashamed to make the Sign of the Cross before meals or to walk to the chapel before Mass in fear of being seen by my peers. Knowing Myself in Him During this time of hiding from God, I felt the roaring chaos knocking on the door of heart. I felt empty, and began to fill this void with unfulling vices, toxic friendships, and superficial facades. I felt unworthy of prayer, love, and salvation from God because I sought my own self-glory. But God is so merciful and loyal that He made the first move, again, to invite me into His embrace. Through a Saint Paul’s Outreach missionary from my college’s Campus Ministry, I found joy in the Lord again. This missionary filled my heart with Truth and healed it with love through the Lord. I was reminded to be bold for Christ and to reclaim my identity as God’s beloved daughter. I felt like my cup was full—overflowing even—with God’s graces because of this reconnection with God. With the help of this missionary, I joined a women’s small group and have made honest friends who help foster a true childlike faith in me. 2. Seek the efficacious graces of the Sacraments and the stillness of Adoration. It wasn’t until college that I really felt a calling to the Sacraments and to Adoration, which helped nurture my childlike faith. The Sacraments are the visible and tangible signs of God’s invisible reality. They institute a personal encounter with the Holy Trinity. Every time we willingly participate in the Sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist, we become witnesses and recipients of these effective graces from God. During Adoration, it took me a while to adjust to the lack of sound and movement. In a hedonistic and instantaneous world, Adoration made me uncomfortable. I was itching to mindlessly scroll through my social media feeds or make mental lists of the things I needed to accomplish. My mind was always so preoccupied with my busy schedule or the loudness of the world that I forgot what quietness sounded like. I had to train my ears to listen in Adoration, not for the next sound I’ll hear, but for the voice of Jesus Christ. Adoration is a time where you can simply be in awe of the King of Heaven and Earth, where you can literally adore the God who is humbly veiled as bread. In Adoration, your soul can rest in the abundance of God’s love. [bctt tweet="In Adoration, your soul can rest in the abundance of God’s love. #BISblog //"] 3. Find communion with God in your suffering. Have you ever thought about how human suffering can bring communion with others? Countries affected by natural disasters have been given money and food donations from all over the world. Even families touched by cancer have brought them closer together. Our compassionate human hearts move us to empathize with those in pain. Imagine how God’s merciful Heart moves when we invite Him into our sorrow. Through my own pains and suffering, God wants to reverse my childish faith and transform it into a childlike faith. He asks me to surrender my pride and control to Him, and to invite Him into the chaos of my life. Most importantly, He wants to be a Father to me. [bctt tweet="God wants to reverse my childish faith and transform it into a childlike faith. #BISblog //"] God wants us to feel the overwhelming happiness, joy, and love in the Eternal Paradise with Him. However, in order for us to obtain a heavenly birth, we must submit ourselves to God’s will with complete obedience and trust in Him. This childlike faith is the key which unlocks the Gates of Heaven to us, just like God promises. What are some ways you seek to be become more mature and childlike in your faith? [bctt tweet="Maturing in Faith: Childish vs. Childlike Faith #BIS blog //"] Isabella Somera, commonly known as Issa, is a college student discovering the compatibility of science and religion through her studies. She seeks to live a life of humble gratitude and Truth, and shares her life reflections on her Instagram accounts (here and here). Her love of puns, dogs, food, family, friends, and faith are the joys of her life gifted to her by the Lord!

In my former job, I accompanied groups of young adults to the U.S./Mexico border each year. The point of the trip was to serve as a pilgrimage to learn what it looks like in the only place in the world where “first-world” and “third-world” conditions share a border. Our group spent time on both sides of the border and spoke at length about a variety of issues. One theme that consistently arose was the complex relationship between factories, their workers, and the market creating a demand for fast, cheap goods. The Dignity of Work and the Dignity of the Human Person Inevitably someone would ask the question: “Do we boycott the companies that pay unjustly and don’t maintain safe working conditions?” And always the complicated answer came back: “No. Call or write letters to the companies encouraging fair labor practices and support companies who support their workers. But we need the jobs.” There is an unfortunate but certain need for employment in areas where labor comes cheap that creates a sense of desperation in folks who wish support their families. This is particularly the case in regions where working conditions are poor and human rights violations are high. So much so that very often these folks will endure unsafe, unjust working conditions in hopes of a chance to survive and support their families. These are the types of circumstances that can cause individuals to fall victim to schemes of human trafficking (forced labor or sex). This is not unique to any one place on the globe. It is a weakness that has been exploited for millennia, no more profitably that it is at this point in history. It is estimated by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security that “human trafficking generates $32 billion in illegal profits per year around the globe, second only to drug trafficking" (source). St. Josephine Bakhita, Slave Today is the International Day of Prayer and Awareness Against Human Trafficking. It is intentionally combined with the feast of St. Josephine Bahkita, a native of Sudan who was bought and sold as a slave multiple times throughout her life. This is not a memorial that is remembered for its historical significance. Rather, it is because the practice of slavery remains as much or more of a rampant violation of human dignity to this day. St. Josephine’s story speaks hope into hopeless circumstances. Ironically the name “Bahkita” in Arabic means "lucky"—a name given to St. Josephine after her many abductions caused her to forget her own name. She took the name Josephine upon joining the Conossians in Italy—a group of religious women who Bahkita had stayed with while her owners moved to Sudan. When the family came to collect Bahkita, she refused to leave. The exchange between Bahkita, the family who intended for her to accompany them, and the sisters took three days. Eventually, an Italian court ruled that because Sudan had outlawed slavery before Bahkita's birth, and the Italians did not recognize slavery, by law Bahkita had actually never legally been a slave. In other words, she was free to speak for herself (and to join the order that she had chosen). What We Can Learn from Her Story I feel far from equipped to speak on issues of slavery or human trafficking, or what this experience of liberation must have been like for St. Josephine or anyone who has undergone such an exile. Without undermining the seriousness of her experience with a pat answer to a complex and heart-wrenching practice, there is a part of her story that feels like an invitation for further consideration. Where I resonate with this story is in her discovery and experience of finding herself freed from the clutches that never had true ownership over her, anyway. She must have felt so many intense emotions all at once: relief, gratitude, anger, joy, disbelief. For those who have had a life-altering conversion, who have attended a timely retreat, who have put in long hours with a counselor or spiritual director, who have faced an addiction head-on, you might recognize the wild freedom that is coming to terms with something/someone who has oppressed you, and finding they no longer have a hold in your life. Josephine Bakhita's witness is a lived metaphor for what Jesus has already done in us. There is no circumstance, habit, secret, or shame we may find ourselves in the clutches of that hasn’t already been satisfied by the Blood of our Savior. Our hope is in the One who has suffered, died, and rose out of love for us, who is inviting us into a place of freedom. St. Josephine Bakhita and Human Trafficking Lent begins in less than a week. Maybe the patroness of Sudan and of those affected by human trafficking is a fitting companion for this year’s Lenten journey. Perhaps something in her story has stirred a new sense of courage to journey into the desert and to acknowledge what has wittingly or unwittingly held us captive—that we might choose again for ourselves the One who invites us back into the freedom of unconditional love. Prayer and Action If you want to learn more about human trafficking and how you can help, here are some resources: This is a great visual to help understand the problem and our (unintentional) role in it. Support companies that make an effort to label their product that has been made justly. Check out the USCCB’s 2017 Lenten action for spotting slave-free seafood. 15 ways you can help fight human trafficking. Learn from the U.S. Catholic Sisters Working against Human Trafficking. [bctt tweet="Held Captive: St. Josephine Bakhita + Human Trafficking #BISblog //"]