Can I let you in on a little secret? The only tears I cried during my trip to Lourdes were not good tears; they weren’t tears of gratefulness, of joy or of overwhelmed-with-love-ness. They were big, ugly, selfish tears.
I arrived in Lourdes with a large group of pilgrims, on our way to Madrid for World Youth Day in 2011; I had just started working for our diocese’s office and had been offered (ahem, told) to step in as a last minute staff member for the trip. I had never been on a plane or out of the country and suddenly, it was all thrust upon me. I was jet-lagged, grumpy and experiencing more than a little culture shock. Before our arrival, I knew very little of Lourdes or the apparitions that had occurred there. I had no idea how many people would be milling around the city on any given day; to say the least, I was overwhelmed.
I hadn’t even been there two full hours before I sat on my hotel bed and bawled my eyes out. The noise, the crowds and some of our rather … stubborn … pilgrims were getting the best of me. In my mind, this was the worst place on earth and I never wanted to leave the Midwest again; there were far too many days/hours/minutes separating me from all that I held dear.
Classy, right?
I can assure you that my grim attitude did not last. Lourdes in the sunshine the next morning seemed much more beautiful. Mass and confession helped soften my hard heart. I made some new friends and laughed. I ate some delicious food and admired the beauty of the river. I prayed at the Grotto and filled bottles with the precious water. I sang with countless pilgrims in the candlelight procession and followed Jesus in a Eucharistic procession. The time that I thought would never end ended all too soon. We took our leave of Lourdes and continued on our journey to Madrid.
But Lourdes has never really left me. I know it was Our Lady working overtime to soften my heart of stone that first night in France – and on the rest of that trip, for that matter. I know she followed me home, quietly and patiently waiting, as she always does. And I know she heard my begging and pleading last summer as I went in for blood test after blood test to diagnosis my mysterious medical issues. She comforted me when I was scared and helped give me hope when I felt so lost.
The beautiful woman who first appeared to Bernadette all those years ago has become a very dear friend of mine; a mother-figure who has gently made herself a part of my life. And I am so very glad that she is here.
Our Lady of Lourdes, pray for us!
Emily is a wife and stay-at-home mom living the Midwestern dream with her little family. She is a lover of chocolate, coffee and comfy sweaters. You can find out more about her and read her ramblings over at Raising Barnes.
END OF YEAR SALE!
2025 LITURGICAL PLANNERS
SUPPORT THE BIS MISSION
