Young adulthood (college-age into thirties) is really the time where many people either choose the Faith for themselves or walk away entirely. This is an age where many of us are seeking truth, community, and fulfillment. For this reason, young adult ministry can be life-changing. As a young adult, myself, I can say whole-heartedly that being invested in young adult ministry over the past few years has made all the difference in my walk with God. I felt called to give the same opportunity to others, and so I’ve taken a position in Young Adult Ministry at my parish and have built a program from the ground up. Tips for Starting a Young Adult Ministry at Your Parish If you are feeling called to start a young adult ministry—whether it is a monthly Bible study, women’s fellowship group, or weekly co-ed meeting at your parish—here are some things that have worked for me so far. 1. Pray! The first and probably most important step for you to take in starting any ministry is to pray about it. Ask God: what He wants you to do, where to start, what needs need to be met in your community, etc. Have open communication with God continuously throughout the whole process in order for the ministry to be fruitful. Remember, this is ultimately His work, and we are here to be His hands and feet! 2. Gain support from your pastor and/or parish staff If this is going to be a parish-based ministry, get the go-ahead from your pastor, even if this is going to be a volunteer position. I have found that things flow so much more smoothly when I am on the same page with my pastor. This also makes things much simpler when it comes to planning and finding a location to gather. If for some reason there is no support here, there is a possibility God is calling you to develop a home-based ministry, or a small ministry that meets in a public setting, such as coffee shop. 3. Get input from other young adults Before setting up a group structure that you personally find appealing, get together with young adults 1-on-1. Give them an idea of what you’d like to start, and then listen. Listen to the needs and desires of the young adults around you, and from this, you can see what would feed them best. I found that young adults in my parish were wanting fellowship and discussion on the Faith in our modern culture, group Rosaries, and Bible studies, and so I developed our group accordingly. 4. Create a structure and stick to it This may take a few tries and a few adjustments. But once you have a format, location, and dates for your group, do your best to stick with it. Life happens and the Holy Spirit happens and sometimes things get changed up a bit, but overall consistency is good for multiple reasons. It shows commitment to those around you, people who hear of it and don’t RSVP won’t show up on a night where nothing is happening, and having a specific structure to work with will help things to flow a bit more naturally during the meeting. 5. Reach out by advertising and personal invitations Be fishers of men! Make sure that people hear of this ministry and know that the invitation is there. People may hear of your new ministry by word of mouth from others, but you need to put the work in to make sure the information is out there for people to spread. There are two main ways that you can spread the word: advertising and personal invitation. General advertising will be by social media, the church website, the bulletin, fliers, speaking at Masses, or tabling outside of Masses with information printed out for people to take. This lets young adults know there is something out there for them. Then we pray that God does the rest. Personal invitation is probably even more important. Jesus reached out to many people individually. This is how many people feel most welcomed and inclined to go. Once you reach out to a few people, encourage them to reach out to others in the same way they were reached out to. 6. Meet people where they are Not everyone is going to be a solid theologian when they walk through the doors. Maybe you’re not one, either. Some people may be questioning if God exists. Some people might be well-educated in the Faith but have no clue as to how to connect with people around them. People will be coming from many different places. Jesus meets people where they are, and we are to do the same. The goal is not to “fix” people; just be Jesus to them and to share Him with them. 7. Food, food, food! Nothing quite says, “You’re loved and cared for,” to young adults who are often low on money or live on their own like food does. I am a huge advocate for providing a meal whenever possible. It provides a physical need and creates a warmer atmosphere. Jesus provided for physical needs before spiritual needs because they are also very important. You may not have a lot of money and your parish may not have money to provide you with for a huge meal, but do what you can. Depending on the size and structure of the group, see if anyone would like to take turns bringing a meal. Or just provide snacks and drinks. I am someone who gives and receives love through food, and I truly believe it is an extremely helpful tool in building a ministry, particularly young adult ministry! 8. Create opportunities for individual growth Create opportunities for service. Ask people to take turns reading when doing a Bible study. Ask for the input and thoughts of those who are not usually quick to speak up (I’ve found that often times people like this have great things to share). Challenge people. Strive not only for communal growth, but also individual growth. 9. Open your doors to others: all are welcome It is important to spiritually feed those in your direct reach, whether that is in your parish or in your friend group. Along with that, though, I encourage you to open your ministry to those from other churches. I am a firm believer that young adult ministry is essential and not every church is able to offer it, so I’ve opened it up to those throughout my Diocese. We don’t have a very large group, but at least half of our group drives about an hour just to be a part of our community. Also, don’t be selective with those you invite/allow into your group. God is for all and we should strive not to be picky and choosy with who we allow in. 10. Allow for individuality We have a diverse Faith with members who have various styles of worship and ways they connect with God. Try your best to incorporate those differences so the group can be an accurate representation of its members! Do you have a young adult ministry at your parish? What do you love about it? [bctt tweet="10 Tips for Starting a Young Adult Ministry at Your Parish #BISblog //" via="no"] Jessica Gettings is a lover of Jesus who doubles as a full-time Coordinator of Religious Education and a part-time Young Adult Minister for two different parishes within her diocese. She partakes in women's ministry by being a Catholic member of an ecumenical women's small group, and also by leading a Blessed is She young adult women's group. In what little spare time she has, she enjoys spending time with loved ones, cooking (especially for said loved ones), being in the presence of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, solid praise and worship sessions, all things Disney, eating (probably too many) tacos and lots of chocolate, and finding the Lord deeper through Catholicism.

Throughout the Gospels, Jesus instructs us to care for one another out of love for Him. The Golden Rule, the second greatest commandment, and the example of Christ Himself drive this very point home: we are meant to serve one another. Catholic tradition gives us a beautiful roadmap of how to do this in the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy. In the context of the family, a major part of our duty as parents in handing on the Truth of the Gospel is to hand on the practice of serving others. We do this by teaching our children about the Works of Mercy, encouraging them to practice them, and perhaps most importantly, living them ourselves. As Mothers, We Live the Works of Mercy Each Day in Our Homes It’s easy to sometimes feel like motherhood isn’t compatible with true Christian Works of Mercy. After all, not many of us are able to manage the kind of charitable activities that our sisters called to single life or religious vocations might be able to do. I have never once visited a prison. I’ve never brought the Gospel to lands faraway. I’ve never handed out sandwiches to the homeless from the back entrance of my house. It Looks Different… Because of our station in life, mothers who aren’t really able to perform these acts of mercy ourselves could support those who do both: financially, and with our prayers. That’s important. We should totally do this. But also, we live these Works of Mercy in our homes...as part of our vocation and job. In fact, I hardly do anything but that stuff. So, moms, we do live the Works of Mercy in our daily lives, even if they don’t seem as heroic as we envision. Being Merciful More Intentionally as a Family But if you’re looking for ways to stretch your soul and the charity of your family members, there are certainly ways you can live the Works of Mercy as a family. Practicing the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy is a good spiritual lesson for our children and is a worthy task for us to undertake together. Don’t worry if you’re not sure where or how to start serving with your family; I have some ideas. These can be done as a family, or by individual members of the family according to age and ability. Some will be pretty easy to check off once, but hopefully kids and grownups will be inspired to practice mercy again and again. How to Live the Corporal Works of Mercy as a Family Feed the hungry volunteer at a soup kitchen make sandwiches and hand them out to homeless people bring a meal to a family with a new baby bring a meal to a family having a difficult time share food with a friend or sibling make dinner for your family throw a dinner party for friends you don’t think could afford a nice dinner don’t throw a dinner party and donate the money you would have spent eat beans and rice for a week and donate your grocery money Give drink to the thirsty give water to someone working in your neighborhood set up a lemonade stand and donate the money you make give out water bottles at an event on a hot day Clothe the naked clean out your closets and donate your unneeded clothing organize a charity clothing drive offer to help sort clothing at your local pregnancy resource center do the laundry for your family help a younger sibling get dressed Visit the imprisoned (people can often feel imprisoned in ways other than being in jail) visit an imprisoned friend or family member write a letter to an imprisoned friend or family member visit a nursing home, or a lonely member of your parish offer to babysit for a mother of all young children offer to babysit a younger sibling for your mom Shelter the homeless donate food or blankets to a homeless shelter donate to disaster relief services take in a foster child take in a needy relative help an elderly neighbor with home repairs Visit the sick visit a friend or family member in the hospital visit a nursing home look after a sick member of your family at home help an old or sick person with errands or chores Bury the dead go to a funeral (yes, even kids) visit a cemetery and put flowers on graves learn about your ancestors How to Live the Spiritual Works of Mercy as a Family Admonish the sinner set a good example remind a sibling or friend of the rules offer to bring a friend or family member to Confession have a calm and loving chat with a person with whom you have a relationship about a particular sinful behavior Instruct the ignorant teach a catechism class share a helpful article or blog post in a friendly way lend a good book be an RCIA sponsor or a godparent help a sibling read a book, play a game, or learn a prayer Counsel the doubtful learn the teachings of the Catholic Church so you’ll have the answer if you get asked a question pray outside an abortion clinic be there to listen to a friend and give good advice reach out to a friend you think might need good advice help a sibling or friend make the right choice Comfort the sorrowful visit a friend or family member who is having a difficult time send someone a sympathy card or a care package remember the anniversary of a friend’s miscarriage or loss of a child or spouse read a story or sing a song to a sibling who is feeling sad Bear wrongs patiently don’t get mad at other drivers assume the best of people you encounter in real life and online give up a toy that a friend or sibling wants to play with, even though you had it first don’t gossip about the bad behavior of others don’t tattle Forgive all injuries forgive a grudge you’ve been holding, even if it was someone else’s fault call or write to an estranged friend or family member give a friend or sibling a second chance Pray for the living and the dead visit a cemetery, especially in November keep a list of prayer intentions say a family Rosary pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet for those who will die this day pray the Prayer of St. Gertrude for the souls in Purgatory choose a family in your community and dedicate an entire week to praying for them Printable Checklist for Your Family We created this free printable for you, so each member of the family can keep track of each of his works of mercy. Hang it on your fridge, tuck it into school folders or homeschool planners, store it in your car, or carry it in your purse. That way, when you’re presented with the time to practice the Works of Mercy as a family, you’ll have a list of fresh and doable ideas on hand. A Deeper Dive into The Works of Mercy Finally, if this post has piqued your curiosity about the Works of Mercy, Blessed is She has a study all about them. I helped write Misericordia, and it was so inspiring to research the Works of Mercy and examples for the female Saints who lived them so beautifully and differently. Hopefully, this study will help deepen your understanding of and commitment to the Works of Mercy. This study could be done individually or with a small group. Moms of adult daughters, consider doing this study with them! It would be an awesome way to hand on the Works of Mercy to your family in a way that can really bond you and your girls in this phase of life! Do you practice the Works of Mercy in your family? What ideas would you add to the lists above? [bctt tweet="How to Practice the Works of Mercy as a Family (+ Printable Checklist!) #BISblog //" via="no"]

It was a cold, dark winter morning as I drove my quiet boy to the surgical center. I tried to warm up from the chill that was in the air and in my heart by blasting the heat into my pale face. I had brown mittens on that were sewn together by a friend and my hood covered my damp hair, yet the chill seemed to stay. My son sat in his carseat still waking up from a night of restless sleep. He spoke little and the feeling in the air around him was one of apprehension. I was trying to be strong, trying to hold it together, trying to not show how nervous and anxious I was for him to have surgery. Within my thirty plus years of life I had undergone nine surgeries myself. Some I could not recall since they happened when I was young and others were still fresh in my mind. The pain, the discomfort, the healing process. In the end, all of the surgeries were worth it. But the struggle to recover fully felt as though it would never end. Plus my trust and hope that all would work out wavered. Being Strong for Him... With being an adult, I knew more than I should have. I knew all the things that could go wrong. What if the surgeons were having a bad day? What if my son didn’t respond well to the anesthesia? What if the surgery wasn’t successful? What if my son would never love me again like he did before all of this because I made him go through this trial in life? As I pulled up to the large, lighted building my mind wandered. When we first found out that my son needed this surgery, my mom suggested that she could come and sit with me. At first I brushed her off. I was a strong woman. I was a capable mother. I didn’t need her there. I could do this. Instead, I needed her to watch my other children at home. Yet she gently guided me to understand that it’s no fun just sitting around waiting and worrying by yourself. Thankfully, one of my dear friends suggested she could watch my other children and that solved the case of me sitting in a sterile waiting room by myself. Getting out of our red van that was dirty from the salty roads, my son was still quiet. He had not said much which is unusual since he seems to be either the life of the party or the one causing mischief. I tried to hold a conversation with him, but my nerves weren’t allowing me to do it casually. We finally entered the cold building. I went up to the nurse to check in, while my son collapsed in a waiting room chair. ...Others Being Strong for Me Then the light showed up in the dark--my mom. I didn’t even notice she came since my back was turned, but I soon heard laughter and turned around to see the woman who meant so much to me. Who was there for me when I was happy and sad. Who was there for me in good times and in hard times. Who was here for me now when I needed some extra strength and support. She did not know that seeing her put me at ease, and I knew I could overcome whatever lay ahead. This story is very dear to my heart. Everytime I think of it I have many feelings that arise. I also see a strong correlation between my story and the story that God has with His children. God is Always Present Through our times of anticipation or times of uncertainty, He is always with us. He is present in the quiet stillness of our hearts, even if we have a chill. He sits with us, waiting. He stays with us through the worry, the anticipation. He rejoices with us when all goes well. He mourns with us when things don’t go well. He is there even when we question His presence and love for us. He’s the one that guides us to know that we are not alone and that we can rely on Him. Even when we feel we can handle things ourselves, He’s there waiting to catch us when we fall. He shows us that we don’t need to do things by ourselves or rely only on our human capabilities. That He is there waiting until we are ready to ask for help. That He is always present. God’s Presence through My Mom My mom portrayed our Lord be being the light in the dark when my son had his surgery. She was there for me and for him. She showed us love by sitting with us before, during, and after surgery. She allowed me to rely on her and not be alone. I could be vulnerable and she would take me as I was. Even though I thought I could go through that day by myself, my mom gently held me up before I collapsed with fear and anxiety. God’ Presence through My Friend My friend in the story also reminds me of God because she was the one that put my heart at ease while taking good care of my other children. I did not have to put any energy into knowing if they were properly cared for or okay. Instead, I rested in the fact that she was enjoying them, their presence, and loving them in the manner of how I love them. Her gracious heart allowed me peace during that day of uncertainty. We Need Each Other Our life needs to be filled with people, with a community, that we can go to for support and understanding. People that can help us when we need something little or something big. People that can bring us up when we are down, and show us there is hope in circumstances that seem hopeless. When we are burdened, overwhelmed, tired (or even when we are joyful, exuberant, and hopeful) we need others to share that with. We are not made to walk this journey of life alone, but in community. God is present always. His presence radiates in our soul as well as in the souls of others. He uses each of us to impact other people’s lives. May you be blessed, and rest in the the hope and knowledge that God is there with you through every circumstance and He longs to be your light in the dark. [bctt tweet="God's Presence in Us and Others #BISblog //" via="no"] Ann Marschel teaches the Billings Ovulation Method along with taking care of her boys at home. She loves to write, drink a good cup of coffee, soak up the sun, and spend time with her family and Jesus. Find out more about her here.

A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter: he that has found one has found a treasure. There is nothing so precious as a faithful friend. -Sirach 6:14-15   Where Two Or Three Are Gathered Friendship is at the heart of Christianity. God has clearly revealed the dignity and beauty found within holy friendships. We see this from the beginning of the Old Testament with God’s intimate friendship with Adam and Eve, right to the end of the Gospels as Jesus speaks the powerful words, “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” From David and Jonathan to Paul and Barnabas, the Word of the Lord proclaims that truly, “two are better than one.” (Ecc 4:9) Being A Faithful Friend We are called to love our neighbor, and yes we can do this from afar through the power of prayer (as Saints like Therese teach us!), but there is also something so beautiful about being physically present with someone. When Christ and His Kingdom are the goal, holy friendships always bear good fruit—joy, love, and peace. Let us make it our goal to seek out friendships founded in Christ, and in turn, be a faithful friend. Ladies’ Night One way to cultivate friendships is spending time together for a ladies’ night. Whether you host a night in or plan a night out, taking the time to make those around you feel loved is one of the greatest gifts. Here are some tips and ideas for a fun night! Tips For Ladies’ Night Invite someone new! It’s wonderful to spend time with the friends we know, love, and are comfortable with, but if you feel a tug on your heart to invite someone new, do it! Often, and in my own experience, it always means so much to be invited to events or get-togethers! Don’t gossip. If someone who isn’t present is being talked about, always compliment that person and don’t speak negatively about him or her. This changes the entire mood and atmosphere of your night. Say a prayer to the Holy Spirit before your night. Ask Him to fill your heart with His love, for you to speak the words that you are meant to, and to bless your friendships. Send out invites! Though sending a quick group text is definitely more efficient, receiving an invitation, via e-mail or snail mail, can be very meaningful to the recipient. Invitations allow us to show some of our creativity, especially if they are handmade, and spread some beauty and kindness! If you are hosting a night in, ask each person to bring their favorite drink, dish, or dessert! This takes some stress off of you, and allows you to focus on the other details of hosting. Ideas For A Fun Night In Watch a movie on a projector. If you don’t have a projector screen, hang a sheet or play the movie on an open wall space. You could even decorate the room in an Old-Hollywood style and print out and hang pictures of classic Hollywood stars. Make popcorn, cover the floor in throw pillows and blankets, and enjoy the show! Do a DIY Spa Night. Invite everyone to come over make-up free and in pajamas, ready to relax! Set up a table with all the ingredients needed to make your own face, lip scrubs, and masks. Have little jars available so that your friends can take any extra home. Paint With a Pro Night. Have everyone bring a blank canvas, brushes, and paint. Set the table with snacks, drinks, and even a homemade place card to make it special. Turn on a Bob Ross episode on YouTube and start painting! Have a clothes exchange. Have everyone go through their closets and bring some clothes, shoes, and accessories to exchange. Donate all the leftover clothes the next day! Creative Ideas For A Ladies’ Night Out Attend a cooking class. The first time I went to a cooking class was with my husband, Mike. We had the best time! I would love to get a group of friends together and attend one. It’s so fun to learn new techniques and then enjoy a meal together at the end of the class! Volunteer together. Call a local food pantry or religious order, like the Missionaries of Charity, and ask if you could help serve dinner to the homeless and impoverished. I’ve done this with friends before and it is the deepest joy that we have experienced together! Have a wine, cheese, and chocolate picnic. Research and find a beautiful local park, send your friends the location, and surprise them with a picnic. Set up a blanket, some outdoor pillows, and place the cheese and chocolate on boards. Have an outdoor Mass. Ask a priest if he would be available to say an outdoor Mass for your group. This is so beautiful, especially if you time it to happen during sunset! What are your favorite ways to spend time with your friends? Do you prefer a night in or an evening out? Comment below with some Ladies’ Night ideas! [bctt tweet="Ladies' Night Tips + Ideas #BISblog //" username="findphilothea"] This post contains affiliate links. Thank you so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

One of the central pieces to the mission of Blessed is She is helping women find and create Catholic community. We love our online community, and we've been amazed by the friendships formed in the regional Facebook groups. And we super love when this BIS community overflows into real life. We've been fortunate to have a front-row view of otherwise unlikely friendships formed on our retreats, and whole local communities gather for a Blessed Brunch. One of the ways we strive to support these real-life communities is through our Blessed Conversations studies. These studies each focus on different topics of our Faith. They can be used as small group "curriculum," or you can pray through them with just one friend. We believe that community is imperative in living the Christian life, and this is a major way we do our best to support you in forming and fostering your own community. We have studies like Mystery (about the Rosary) and Rooted (looking at major sections of the Catechism), and our newest study on the Works of Mercy, Misericordia. Misericordia: A Study on the Works of Mercy Serving others is a requirement for every Christian, and the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy give us a blueprint for doing just that. As you begin to dive into this study with your best friend or small group, we wanted to give you a glimpse o the heart behind this project. So we asked the women who dreamed up, wrote, and edited this study to share their hopes for you when you read Misericordia, and what they personally loved learning about during their research. What We Hope Women Receive from Misericordia (and the Saints Who Inspired Us) Every single Saint in this study inspires me in a multitude of ways. But I am most especially encouraged by the holy women I had never heard about, like Blessed Natalia Tulasiewicz who freely chose to share in the suffering of death camp prisoners. Her joy, courage, and confidence in Christ’s love despite opposition and hatred gives me the strength to bear others’ wrongs more patiently and to be faithful to the end. In this study I was struck by the thought that these are not just nice ideas or platitudes, but we are called to live out these Works of Mercy, implying both the extremely practical effort and consistently hard work it takes to incarnate this mercy in our lives. My prayer is that as women of all ages do this study, they will listen to the Lord’s Heart, and as they offer their resources, time, and talents to love others, they will join army of Saints who witness to the merciful love of God. -Debra Herbeck   I loved reading about Venerable Edel Quinn! She died at about the age that I am now and faced a lot of challenges in her life, but it didn't stop her from remaining joyful and trusting in the Lord's plan for her life. And, she had a heart for Africa like me. The Work of Mercy that really stuck with me was to visit the imprisoned. Not all of us will have the opportunity to visit those who are truly imprisoned. But we all have the capacity to visit those who are isolated by loneliness, despair, or doubt. My prayer for all women who do this study (including me!) is that we come to see all the daily ways we can live out the Works of Mercy in our homes, on our blocks, and in our parishes. -Karen Schultz   I was blown away by all the holy women—women I had mostly never heard of from all across the globe! From every conceivable lay women’s vocational path! The Church has so many riches and its holy women are a keen one for me. The ideas that stuck with me after working with these four beautiful writers are that we can live our the Works of Mercy in our messy, busy, wounded lives. Indeed, living them out will probably bring us more joy and healing than even the people we’re ministering to! I loved and treasured their reflections, from a small apartment dinner invitation to a letter returned to a neighbor, a trip to meet Mother Teresa to choosing to pray for those in need—the four authors’ stories brought the Works of Mercy to life for me. It’s such an honor to work alongside them. -Nell O'Leary   My favorite way to live out the Works of Mercy as a person who doesn’t have a lot of extra time for (very important) stuff like that, is delivering a meal to a family in need of one. It’s easy to say, “congratulations” or “I’m so sorry” or “you guys will be in my prayers.” And those are good, necessary things to say, of course. But also saying, “May I drop dinner off on Tuesday?” means I’m acknowledging their practical needs as well as their spiritual needs. I was going to make dinner for my family anyway, doubling that recipe can make a big difference to a family in times of joy, grief, and transition. -Kendra Tierney   I was amazed to learn the stories of the new-to-me lay women saints spotlighted in this Misericordia study. As a musician, my heart was particularly moved by the example of Blessed Natalia Tulasiewicz who spread beauty and joy through the gift of song. She sought hope and shared mercy despite the dire circumstances of her life. In writing about the spiritual works of mercy, my eyes have been opened to the ways I can be a living witness of the mercy of God for others. I hope the women who participate in this study will be inspired similarly! -Elise Howe The Story Behind the Cover Art The immensely talented and inspired Erica of Be a Heart designed the cover image. Would you believe that the entire picture is a single line?! Erica put down her pen once and drew the entire image without picking it up off the paper. I love how this illustrates the universality of the Church, as well as our connectedness to the Saints in the work of bringing God's mercy to the world. Join Us for This Study? We would love to pray through this study by your side as you work through it with your communities in real life. Be sure to get your copy of Misericordia here! [elementor-template id="546630"] [bctt tweet="What We Hope Women Receive (+ Give) from Misericordia #BISblog //" via="no"]

Discernment can be an overwhelming process. Perhaps it is partially because, by its very nature, it is personal and internal. And while everyone has seen other people make decisions, it is almost impossible to see their actual discernment (the movement of the spirits within their soul). We can see parts of the process: their time in prayer, their time reading, even actions that they take to gather more information. But we have no way of witnessing the movement or the effects of the different spirits on their mind and soul. This means, for the individual who has never discerned anything before, knowing how to begin is an overwhelming challenge. The good news is that everyone has been a newbie to discernment at one time or another, and there are a plethora of resources available to help. What is Discernment? Despite popular usage within Catholic circles, “discerning” and “deciding” are not the same thing. While all discernment ends in a decision, not all decisions require discernment (kind of like all thumbs are fingers, but not all fingers are thumbs). You don’t need to discern things like what cereal to eat, what dress to wear for the gala, or what time you should go to Mass. You also don’t need to discern things which have already been revealed (“Should I use contraception?” // “Should I have this affair?” // “Should we try IVF?”), because the answers for objective Truth will always remain the same. Situations that require discernment are usually life-altering decisions which would also affect the state of our soul and our journey to Heaven. Things like: “What college should I attend?” “What major should I choose?” “Should I go to grad school?” “Am I called to marriage?” “Am I called to religious life?” “Do I want to be a consecrated virgin?” “Do I make this cross-country move?” “Is now a good time to buy a house?” “Is this the right job for me?” Resources on Discernment These are all big decisions which require a lot of thought, prayer, and action. It can often help to seek out the wisdom of others who have done it before us. Discernment of Spirits and St. Ignatius of Loyola When it comes to discernment, St. Ignatius of Loyola is the man to whom you want to turn first. Almost everything we know about the prayerful process came from him. He literally wrote the book on it. The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius is a compilation of prayers, meditations, and spiritual practices written in the 1500s. While the content is gold, the writing style is sometimes difficult for the typical modern reader. Thankfully, there are countless resources on discernment which flesh out and explain these exercises—and all his other writings on the subject. So as not to overwhelm you, we’ve narrowed it down to these few as cream-of-the-crop examples. Ignatianspirituality.com A service of Loyola Press, this website contains all things Ignatian. There are numerous articles, prayers, and videos. They even offer spiritual direction and discernment retreats. It’s kind of like one-stop-discernment-shopping. Discerning the Will of God: An Ignatian Guide to Christian Decision Making by Fr. Timothy M. Gallagher This book is a dream for any confused mind. The author is clear in putting forward principles and provides plenty of real life examples. It’s available in hard copies, Kindle versions, and audio books, making it suitable for every busy individual. St. Ignatius’ 8 Rules for the Discernment of Spirits This is a summary of the principles of Ignatian discernment. It’s a good starting point, as it uses the words of the Saint himself. Thus the reader can get the information “first hand” without having to purchase, borrow, or struggle through the entire book. This list is also handy for anyone who needs a refresher. Discernment: Making Inspired Choices This is another outline of the Saint’s advice. It is written in the modern voice of the author and is a little more user-friendly. Fr. Mike Schmitz Videos When it comes to brevity and practicality, Fr. Mike Schmitz is the guy. He posts weekly videos about everything Catholic, including discernment. Looking for a way to get started with your discernment? Check out Discernment 101. He highlights the dual importance of prayer and action in the process, as well as discerning one step at a time. In 4 Helpful Rules for Discernment, Fr Mike proposes that any discerner should ask four specific questions about their potential choices. He highlights an aspect of the process that many people tend to overlook: our own personal desires. The Key to Discernment is another brief but helpful clip. Fr. Mike points out that, in the discernment process, most people are looking for an answer. This is, weirdly, is the opposite of what we should do. The mindset of all prayer and action throughout the discernment process is simply to gather more data. Don’t go into prayer (or a convent visit, or a college visit, or on a date with someone) looking for all the answers. Simply collect data. Ironically, with that as your focus, the pressure is off and the answer becomes clear over time. Sometimes, God takes a lot of time to make things clear. It can be really frustrating when an earnest desire for clarity is pressing on the human heart. Fr Mike talks about that, too. Check out What does God want me to do? and Letting God Take His Time. Fr. Michael Scanlan, TOR Fr. Mike was a Franciscan Third Order Regular priest, a past president of Franciscan University of Steubenville, and a former spiritual director for hundreds of individuals. His strong relationship with the Holy Spirit is apparent in his writings on discernment, which are full of both depth and simplicity. He proposed five basic questions to ask when facing important decisions. He also penned Nine Secrets to Discovering Your Call. If either of these leaves you wanting more, his book What Does God Want? (one of our favorite resources on discernment) expands upon these points. The Angels Not the heavenly kind, but the married Catholic couple, Bobby and Jackie Angel. Their own story is anything but typical. When they first met, Jackie was engaged to someone else and Bobby was a seminarian. It was a windy road they had to walk to discern their own vocations. Thus, they have a lot of good and practical advice on the subject. Even if you are looking for advice on how to discern something other than your vocation, their wisdom applies. Check out their three-part written series on discernment here. Other Resources Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Jacques Philippe // If fear and distress seem to be hindering your discernment, perhaps this book is for you. This simple book about peace of heart provides concrete ways to learn confidence and trust in God, making forward movement within your spiritual life much more possible. 3 Steps for Discernment from Life Teen // Though it’s a resource written for teens, anyone of any age can benefit from giving it a read. It includes some incredible insight into the state of one’s heart, mind, and soul before discerning. How to Listen to the Spirit (Instead of the Flippant Opinions of Others) in Your Vocational Discernment from Blessed is She // Sometimes, the opinion of others can be the biggest hindrance to discernment. This post has advice for tuning out voices that are not God’s. Discernment from Peter Kreeft // Brilliant. Brief. Practical. He presents five ideas to iron out and smooth over the process—all based on logic. 6 Steps in Vocation Discernment from the Diocese of Harrisburg // A step-by-step process for vocational discernment. These principals can be applied no matter what it is being discerned. A Never-Ending Story I have a friend whose vocational discernment was extremely difficult. On his wedding day, one of the many things he was most excited about was the end of the process. Years later, he expressed to me how, at that time, he had actually thought he was done with discernment forever. Now, after three kids, a move, shifts in careers, and taking on other professional roles, he laughs at his naivety. The truth is, discernment will appear in all of our lives time and time again. Thankfully, it’s a process which makes us familiar with God’s voice. The more we discern, the more certain we are of the Holy Spirit moving within our lives, and the easier the whole process becomes. Do you have any favorite books or resources on discernment? Feel free share them with us in the comments below! [bctt tweet="Best Books + Resources on Discernment #BISblog //" username="grace_swap"] This post contains affiliate links. Thank you so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

School is out! You can say goodbye to packing lunches, long pick-up lines, homework, and early morning outfit battles. But now what? You have over two months without your kids in school. How do you keep them busy? There are so many options for keeping your kids engaged in over the summer it can be a bit overwhelming. Camps, swim team, story time, and VBS (just to name a few). What is the best way to nurture their faith life over the summer? Within the next couple months, my family and I are gearing up for a big family wedding as well as preparing to welcome a new baby into our home. We are going to be very busy, to say the least. While I stared into the months of June and July (carefully color-coded to coordinate with life events), I felt like we were missing something. I realized that in the chaos of life (even during the school year) it is easy to let our faith life within the family take a back seat. How to Have a Spiritually Fruitful Summer Over the last month or so, I’ve been making a simple and realistic list of things I’d like to do with my children to help them grow in God’s love over the summer. Below you will find ideas I’ve put together for my family. I also tried to include things for older children/teens as well (it’s helpful to be married to a youth minister!). I’ve broken it into three categories that I hope you will find helpful. Prayer Start saying the Angelus everyday at 12. No matter where you are or what you’re doing, everyone in the family drops what they’re doing to say it together. A family Rosary each evening is always a good idea. But I think summer time is a great period to form the habit. Set a time in the evening when everyone gathers together to pray the Rosary. When you have little ones, even a decade in the evening can make a huge impact. If you know you won’t be home at that time on a given evening, see if it’s possible to reschedule it for earlier or maybe say it in the car. Get together as a family and talk about some prayer intentions that you have. Maybe you have a big move coming up or perhaps someone in your family is very ill. Pick a novena to pray as a family for that specific intention. Summer is also a great time to make a family consecration to Mary. You can use the evenings to discuss the readings for the day and recite the prayers out loud together as a family. Study Coloring pages! The kids and I have been loving the coloring pages put out by Catholic artists. They have been wonderful for our liturgical living! You can find some here and here. A few years back I discovered Catholic Icing and 26 Letters to Heaven. Both are great resources for early religious education as well encouraging creativity and curiosity. Blessed is She just released a study for kids called Rise Up! If your children are younger (like mine) you’ll want to work through this together. My plan is to read a little bit each morning out loud to the kids before we get our day rolling. If you have older kids (ages 9 and up), they could work through this independently. Choose a Saint of the week. Have your older kids put their internet time to good use! Have your preteens/teens research a different Saint for each week of summer and have them share with the family. It doesn’t have to be fancy at all! Encourage them to find 5-6 interesting facts about the Saint and then let them share at the dinner table. Blow the dust off that Bible! Designate a morning with your teens to work on a short Bible study. So let’s say every Wednesday morning, you grab coffee or bagels (or take advantage of nap times from younger siblings) and work your way through one of the books of the Bible. It might feel a little forced at first, but keep going! Teens love being challenged and they also love some special time with you (even if they deny it vehemently). Action Add in daily Mass to your summer routine. It does not need to be everyday! But picking one day of the week to roll out of bed a bit early and attend Mass together will be such a gift to your family. You can also start a tradition/add the incentive of doing something fun yet simple afterwards, like grabbing breakfast, spending time at the park, or maybe taking a library trip. Go to Adoration. Research the parishes around you to find out when and where Eucharistic Adoration is offered. Set a time during the week where you all go to Adoration together. Even if it’s simply sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament for five minutes once a week, it’s showing your children what’s really important amidst the crazy summer schedule. Let’s not forget about good old Vacation Bible School! Find a VBS program at your parish (or one nearby) and see if it’s something you want your kids involved in. VBS is usually half a day for an entire week. It’s a great opportunity for your kids to jump in and have fun with their Faith! Also, the performances at the end of the week are always so stinkin’ cute. VBS is also a great opportunity for your older children to volunteer. Summer is an excellent time to go through clothes and toys. Let your kids help! Explain what they are donating and give them some ownership over it. Now, this could backfire (it has for me) if you have a child who suddenly decides that they do, in fact, play with every single toy they own. If that happens, still take the time to explain the importance of giving and then thin things out over nap time. Service, service, service! Get your teens off their phones by setting them up with a service project. This will require a little research, but I’m sure your parish can also let you know of places looking for volunteers. Get those teenagers into soup kitchens and shelters. Serving those in need can offer your kids some great perspective they wouldn’t otherwise be exposed to. Did someone say chastity talks, praise and worship, late night pizza deliveries, and ultimate frisbee?! Sign your teens up for youth programs this summer. Many parishes have various opportunities for your kids to attend really solid conferences or camps this coming summer. Spending time with their peers within a Catholic context is a great way for your teen to see that they’re not alone on this journey to heaven. Stay Spiritually Sane and Spiritually Fruitful Please, by no means feel that you have to do it all. This is simply a list of a ideas. If one or two speaks to you, then go for it. I find that one of the most effective ways to enrich my children’s faith is to simply spend time together as a family, something that is ridiculously difficult to do during the school year when everyone is running in five different directions. If you end up doing any of these, let me know how it goes! Or if you have any other ideas to add to the list, please comment below! Here’s wishing you all a blessed summer. [bctt tweet="How to Have a Spiritually Fruitful Summer When Your Kids are Home from School #BISblog //" username="susana_starbuck"] Susana Starbuck is a regular contributor to the BIS blog. She is wife of a youth minister and mother to four littles five and under. She lives in Phoenix, AZ and enjoys reading a good book, posting her highlight reel on Instagram, and drinking wine. You can connect with her here. This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

Christ's presence in the Holy Eucharist is the source and summit of our Catholic Faith (Lumen Gentium, 11). The Catechism of the Catholic Church states that one of the fruits of receiving Our Lord in Communion is commitment to the poor (CCC 1397). So when we receive Communion in a state of grace, with hearts opened to the Holy Spirit, our desire to serve one another grows. We begin to see, perhaps anew, the suffering and needs of our brothers and sisters in the world, and we are inspired to do something about it. But what exactly does this type of commitment to our fellow humans, especially those in need, look like? How can we live out this fruit of Holy Communion? Offering the Mercy We Have Received The mercy God offers us is one of the most beautiful and overwhelming aspects of our Faith. His great love for us propelled Him to embrace His Cross and conquer death, all so that His mercy could be available to us all. The fact that He comes to us in the Eucharist is a movement of mercy toward us. It follows then, that we are to offer others mercy and care in imitation of He Who offers us endless mercy. Jesus calls for this mercy toward our neighbor throughout the Gospels. He told countless parables about examples of mercy, and He perfectly illustrated mercy in the way He treated the poorest of the poor, the most lost of the lost. If we are to be like Him, if we are to love Him more fully, then we must show mercy to one another. The Works of Mercy are Our Blueprint So once we have encountered the mercy of God in our own hearts and receive His great mercy in the Sacraments, we are to go out and give that mercy to others. But how do we do that? We understand that this is central to our mission as Christians, but how do we live this commission in our modern, busy lives? Blessedly, the Church offers us a blueprint for exercising mercy toward others. These are the Works of Mercy. If you attended Catholic school as a child, you might remember songs your teachers used to help you memorize them. Maybe you've never heard of the Works of Mercy before. No matter your level of familiarity, we all have the invitation and the need to dive deeper into living them. The Works of Mercy give us tangible ideas for aiding those in need. The practice of the Works of Mercy varies widely. This means we can and should all practice them according to our vocation, state in life, and capabilities. The Corporal Works of Mercy The Works of Mercy are divided into two categories: corporal and spiritual. Both are important and necessary, and both give us clear guidance on how we can respond to Christ's call to love one another as He has loved us. The Corporal Works of Mercy deal with the physical cares and concerns of our neighbors. They are: Feed the hungry Give drink to the thirsty Clothe the naked Visit the imprisoned Give shelter to the homeless Visit the sick Bury the dead The Spiritual Works of Mercy The Spiritual Works of Mercy, while not as physically tangible as the Corporal, still provide us with clear ideas for tending to the spiritual needs of one another. These needs of our brothers and sisters might not be as visible as their physical needs, but often times these are where the greatest needs lie. The Spiritual Works of Mercy are: Admonish the sinner Instruct the ignorant Counsel the doubtful Pray for living and dead Comfort the sorrowful Forgive injuries Bear wrongs patiently Saintly Examples of the Works of Mercy When I'm looking for inspiration on how to live out both the Corporal and the Spiritual Works of Mercy in my life, I look to the lives of the Saints. Just as their personalities varied, the way they practiced these Works of Mercy varied. Yet they were all responding to Christ's call to show forth the mercy they had received from Him. We can all learn something from their witness of charity. I'm wanting to learn more about the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy as lived through the lives of the Saints, so I'll be reading through this new study from Blessed is She. It tells the stories of holy lay woman who beautifully lived this call to mercy and it focuses on how we can live the Works of Mercy in our own lives. I'd love for you to join me in this prayer and practice. Let me know if you'll be reading, too, in the comments below! [bctt tweet="The Richness of the Corporal and Spiritual Works of Mercy #BISblog //" username="to_the_heights"]

“What do you want for Father’s Day?” “Ummm...nothing. I don’t know. Surprise me.” Am I the only one having this same conversation every May/early June, year after year?! As a wife to an incredible husband and amazing father to our two children, I deeply desire to celebrate my husband big and well on days like Father’s Day. I love the idea of showering him with gifts that are meaningful or useful (or both!). I want him to feel appreciated, valued, and most of all, convey how grateful I am for all he does for our family. Not to mention, I need to celebrate and honor my own amazing dad, too! But man, picking out gifts for the guy(s) in your life can be hard, right? Here is a little Father's Day Gift Guide especially for the Catholic men in our lives! Father's Day Gift Guide for Catholic Dads I’ve spent a lot of time browsing the wonderful wide web and asked some friends on Instagram for ideas. I’m hopeful that this Catholic Father’s Day gift guide will make this year’s gift-giving a bit easier for us all! Prayer Books Getting a book to help dive into prayer for the entire year sounds perfect for a guy who loves structured prayer. Nunc Coepi Prayer Companion is the perfect prayer companion for men to use every single day. For the guy who likes structured prayer, this makes a great gift. Magnificat subscription + leather Magnificat cover While it’s true that you can get the daily Mass readings online or in an app format, sometimes it’s nice to have the actual printed version. Not to mention, the monthly books include extra prayers and other writings to aid in faith formation. An annual subscription to Magnificat is affordable and useful (the books show up in your mailbox about a month in advance). The books are great to keep in the center console of the car, a briefcase, or a desk drawer. Bonus: this cool leather cover would keep them from getting torn up. Cocktail kit Pair this Crate & Barrel boxed bar set with the fun + cheeky book Drinking With the Saints and you’ve got a gift match made in Heaven for the guy who likes to pretend he’s a bonafide mixologist (anyone else’s husband?!).  Masculine Rosary I don’t know about you, but now that we’re real adults, I find myself wanting to upgrade things like our Bibles and Rosaries from our junior high versions. These rosaries by Blessed is She are so great for men: Saint Joseph Rosary, Saint Charbel Rosary, and the Saint Maximilian Kolbe Rosary.  Horse Soldier Bourbon Right after 9/11, a group of elite Green Berets were sent to north Afghanistan to help rally the rural tribes against the Taliban. These soldiers were nicknamed the “Horse Soldiers” because of they had to literally travel by horseback to reach some of the remote areas. These same soldiers went on to found American Freedom Distillery, who makes Horse Soldier Bourbon. If your husband, brother, or dad likes military history, America, or bourbon, they will love this. Pair it with a copy of the book Horse Soldiers, or set a time to sit down and watch the movie portrayal, 12 Strong, together. Classic leather wallet A staple on any gift guide for men: the leather wallet. But really though, every guy I know could use a new, nice leather wallet to replace whatever ratty one they have (or to replace the binder clip they’re currently using!) Here is a classic one that is made ethically in Peru or a pocket one made in the USA. Coffee mug to inspire him The "Do Something Great" quote by Saint John Paul II is perfect to inspire men every single day to pursue the Lord in virtue and in faith, which is why it's perfect on this black stainless steel rambler. Wooden pocket cross These crosses are small and designed specifically to be carried in a pocket as a reminder throughout the day to pray, hope, and not worry. An alternate, also pocket-sized idea is the pocket oratory, designed to aid in prayer while on the go. Engraved leather mousepad This full grain leather mousepad is handmade in the USA and can be engraved with up to 15 letters. Consider something other than his initials, like "AMDG". This stands for Ad maiorem Dei gloriam, the Latin motto of the Jesuits, which means "For the greater glory of God." The phrase “soli deo gloria” (glory to God alone) would also fit. A conversation-starter tie Would it even be a Father’s Day gift guide if there wasn’t a tie included?! If you’re shopping for a guy that rocks a tie on the reg, consider this Our Lady of Guadalupe option, this Marian symbol design, or this one featuring the Benedictine cross. We hope this Catholic Father's Day gift guide helped you! If you have any more ideas, share with us in the comments! [bctt tweet="Father's Day Gift Guide for the Catholic Dad #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. Thank you for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

One gray, spring morning, some friends and I were praying outside an abortion clinic when a young couple with heavy faces came walking towards us. The man had his arm around the woman, shielding her from what he thought might be difficult protestors. Clinic escorts wearing bright yellow vests met them on the sidewalk and asked if they wanted accompaniment. They accepted, and the group walked together towards the stairs that lead up to the clinic doors. A pro-life sidewalk counselor smiled at the couple and said hello. He asked them if they were alright. The couple stopped for a millisecond before the father said, “We can’t have this baby. We have two kids at home and can’t afford this one. I have to be a good father.” “We can help you…” the counselor started empathetically. But before he could say anything else, the emotion of the already-grieving father took over. He was clearly torn, angry, and upset with his predicament. He did not believe that help would be available to his family after the birth of this third child. “I can barely afford to feed the two kids I have,” he said. Then he reiterated his previous statement, “I have to be a good father.” With that, he and his wife turned around and walked up the stairs. The State of the Union Currently, the United States is in the midst of political uproar surrounding the issue of abortion. Always a hot button issue, abortion’s current prevalence at the forefront of political debates began with the appointment of our newest Supreme Court Justice, Brett Kavanaugh. Though the associate justice has alluded otherwise, State governments are strategically attempting to pass extreme Pro-Life laws in the hopes that they will be challenged all the way to the highest level of the court system, where the infamous Roe vs. Wade ruling can be overturned. Georgia’s governor recently signed the "fetal heartbeat" bill, which outlaws abortion past the point of a fetus’ heartbeat being detected. In Alabama, the “Human Life Protection Act” was signed into effect. It disallows abortion for any reason (including rape or incest), except when the life of the mother is threatened. Ohio, Iowa, Kentucky, and Mississippi have passed similar laws, while Louisiana and Missouri are making similar moves within their legislative chambers. The State of Our Social Feeds All of this has resulted in some major eruptions across social media. Many of our feeds have been affected by the uproar. We find ourselves constantly trying to decide whether to engage on the issue, or to leave it alone (as fruitful conversations via social media are a true rarity). Even when deciding not to engage, our minds continue the conversation and possible pro-life arguments within our heads. We wonder, “What should I have said? How do I refute that point?” We Need to Be Equipped with Pro-Life Arguments It’s a difficult place to be. While it’s easy (and sometimes wise) to avoid the topic on social media, we can’t ignore a conversation when it’s brought to our attention in “real life.” Especially because avoidance of the topic can make us look ignorant of the facts and "religiously-brainwashed," unable to think for ourselves. As a former teacher of Apologetics, I’ve spent a fair amount of time arguing for morality from a non-religious standpoint. This includes pro-life arguments. Thus, this piece is meant to be a reference for anyone who doesn’t know what to say when discussing life issues with a pro-choice friend or acquaintance. Acknowledge the Humanity First, it’s important to see the humanity in people. We live in a world in which most of us have forgotten how to have civil discourse. When approaching the subject of abortion, it’s necessary to remember is that this individual with whom you disagree is, in fact, a loving person. As humans, we’re wired to want what’s right. We’re all made in God’s image, which means we’re all oriented towards love (Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) 1604, 2331). And all of us are still learning about love—and learning what is the most loving thing to do. We’ve all gotten confused over the course of our lives as to what “love” actually is (CCC 1889, 1939). People with pro-choice viewpoints are no different. Most of them have taken this stance because society has told them that it’s the reasonable, civilized position. So when entering into a conversation with these individuals and offering pro-life arguments, be reasonable and civil in every way. Communicating Without Words In a culture where arguments over life issues are mostly angry and hostil—from all sides—a kind tone of voice, a smile, and body language that signals openness can go a long way in softening someone's heart. Opposingly, a harsh tone, furrowed brows, and heated body language will harden a heart quicker than a fly flocks to roadkill. If an individual feels attacked, they’ll retreat. If they feel heard and respected, walls around the heart and mind start to recede. Tone As mentioned above, keep a loving tone (1 John 4:8-16). One of my favorite quotes from St. John Bosco is: It’s not enough to love, people have to feel as though they’re loved.   In the heat of the moment, we can be tempted to respond with harsh love. But in these cases, that usually does more harm than good. Rechannel that passion. Don’t be a “clanging gong” or a “clashing cymbal.” Keep your tone authentic, calm, and reasonable. Attitude Humility, humility, humility. Though each of us has a grasp on the fullness of Truth thanks to our Faith, we do not know everything. If we approach these conversations with a know-it-all, closed-to-any-other-points mindset, it’s apparent to the opponent. Their hearts certainly won’t be changed by that. I’m not saying to be so open-minded that your brains fall out. Rather, be open-minded in a manner that will allow you to see the humanity behind the reasoning of the other person. Body Language Girl…check your face. And your arms. And any other hostile, closed-off way in which you may be positioning your body. Uncross your arms. Unfurrow that brow. Lean in. Smile. Relax. Nod your head when you agree. Make eye contact. These are are incredibly simple and easy things that go a long way. They do almost all the work of communicating the good intentions behind your pro-life arguments! Assume Good Intentions Always remember, people who are pro-choice aren’t cold, heartless beings. They desire to love and support women, to give them “freedom”, and to “empower” them to live the life they want. These are values that are not different from our own as Catholics. We love and support women. We want them to have freedom, to be empowered, to be the fullest version of themselves that God created them to be. In the end, both sides of this argument want similar things for women—and that is our common ground. That is what we have to appeal to and return to, time and time again in our pro-life arguments.     The Talking Points A big mistake people make when talking to people who are pro-choice is to make it all about God and religion. As a former Apologetics teacher, I often discussed this kind of dialoguing with my students. An atheist does not believe in the authority of Scripture or religious teaching, so using them as pro-life arguments to support your case is going to fall on deaf ears. Similarly, when speaking with a Christian who is not Catholic, Catholic Social Teaching is not going to hold the same weight for them as it would for a practicing Catholic. Thus, the best way to support a pro-life viewpoint is with logic and science (philosophy and biology). This may mean you have some reading and learning to do in order to brush up on these skills. In the meantime, we have outlined some possible pro-life arguments to use in responding to popular pro-choice arguments. Pro-Choice Lines and How to Respond with Pro-Life Arguments Believe it or not, many people think that the pro-life movement’s beliefs stem from judgement of women who are having sex. Rather than the issue being about the sanctity of all human life, many think (sometimes even subconsciously) that people who are pro-life want to see a woman “suffer” because of her immoral choices. The best way to help rectify this understanding is to show love, care, and concern for mom directly. In that, you’ll be showing care for baby indirectly. We care about all life (both mother and baby), no matter how it was conceived. Make that obvious in your pro-life arguments. Pssst: The “What the Church Says” sections are references just for your education and edification. I wouldn’t necessarily bring these up in conversation unless specifically asked about what the Catholic Church teaches on the matter. Pro-Choice Talking Point: “An unborn fetus does not have the same rights as its mother.” Pro-Life Response: “I think all humans deserve basic rights, even before we’re born. I actually think its a right of all people conceived in this country. In the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson wrote, ‘... all Men are created equal... they are endowed...with certain unalienable Rights... among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness….’ The right to life seems fundamental to all the rest. These individuals are more than just 'something’—they are someone. ” What the Church Says: CCC 357, 2270, 2273; Jer 1:5; Job 10:8-12; Ps 139:15 Pro-Choice Talking Point “Nobody knows when life actually begins.” Pro-Life Response: “Actually, the definition of 'life' is an organism with the capacity to grow and multiply. The moment a sperm contacts an egg, this process begins. Biologically speaking, life has begun. This is actually one of the main reasons I am pro-life. Biologically speaking, life begins at the exact moment of conception.” What the Church Says: CCC 357, 2270, 2322 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “If abortion is outlawed, it won’t stop abortions from happening. It will simply force women into dangerous situations like the old ‘back-alley’ abortions." Pro-Life Response: “In some cases, you’re probably right. I think this will happen with some women, but I can’t help but wonder about her reasoning for seeking out the abortion. That has to be a desperate situation. Maybe she feels unsafe. Or too poor. I just wonder if there could be another, better way to help and empower her rather than abortion. I’m working towards a society where women don’t feel like they ever have to consider abortion. Regardless, just because a woman may still choose abortion, doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be outlawed. Murder happens far too often, but that doesn’t mean it should be legalized. I also think that, in other cases, outlawing abortion will prevent abortions from happening. I know of an American woman living in Poland who was pregnant with triplets. Baby C wasn’t as healthy as the other two and posed a risk to their development. Doctors did not recommend abortion because they couldn’t—it’s illegal in their country. It was incredibly stressful for the family, but all three babies survived and are now healthy, thriving boys. When looking back over the pregnancy, the mom has actually said, 'I’m glad I had no choice.'” What the Church Says: CCC 2210, 2498 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “I support abortion because I think it’s a choice that belongs to each woman and each woman alone. I don’t like the idea of the government forcibly preventing women who want abortions from getting them. It’s a lack of liberty. ” Pro-Life Response: “I don’t want to violate anyone’s right to privacy, and I don’t like the government’s involvement either—I wish it never came to that. I wish everyone rejected abortion out of love and respect for all life. Women should be so supported that they never feel they needed abortion as an option. I also agree that we, as women, should have lots of choices in life. But I also think there are exceptions. For example, I don’t think parents should be given the choice to abuse or neglect their kids. I don’t think anyone should be given the choice to drink and drive. Would you agree?” What the Church Says: CCC 1723,1755, 1756, 2273 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “There should be an exception to the abortion laws for women who conceive in cases of rape or incest. No woman or child should have to carry and bare the offspring of someone who wronged her so barbarically. She shouldn’t have to be reminded of the incident each time she looks at her growing belly—or worse, the face of her child who may resemble the man who raped her.” Pro-Life Response: “No one should have to endure rape or its consequences. I wish no one was ever raped. In cases of rape, the woman is certainly a victim, but what about that baby? Isn’t he or she also a victim? I think she is, and her life shouldn’t be taken from her because of her father’s assault. There are so many women who chose to give birth to their child in these circumstances, and they assert that it was an incredibly healing experience for them. And there are amazing individuals within our communities who were conceived in rape. Their stories are incredible and testify to the point that all life is valuable.” What the Church Says: CCC 357 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “When the mother’s life is on the line, I think she has a right to an abortion.” Pro-Life Response: “Mother and baby have equal rights. If the mother’s life is in danger, I believe that she absolutely has the right to seek medical care for herself. There is always a way to do this without an abortion being involved. Doctors should give the mother life-saving treatment, even if it indirectly results in the tragic loss of life for her child. I see this differently than an abortion, because in this case, the action is not taken to directly and purposefully end the life of the child. It’s a tragic side-effect of life-saving treatment for mom.” What the Church Says: CCC 2250, 2271, 2274-2275 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “What about in the case of parents who just learned their unborn baby has a life-threatening health problem? An abortion eases a lifetime of pain for both them and the child.” Pro-Life Response: “These scenarios are terrifying. Anything that involves this kind of life-changing news is scary. But I don’t believe that abortion 'eases' anything about it. It simply cuts a life short. If my sister was diagnosed with a terminal illness, I would be devastated and heartbroken. But I wouldn’t shorten our time together. I’d want to embrace it, and spend as much time with her as possible. I think she’d want that too.” What the Church Says: CCC 1703, 2274-2275 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “I’m personally pro-life, but I don’t believe I should impose my religious beliefs on anyone else.” Pro-Life Response: “I am 100% in support of religious freedom, but I also don’t see abortion as a religious issue. I see it as an inalienable right for everyone. Being pro-life means you probably believe that a fetus is indeed alive, and that abortion ends that life. If you believe your own child has a right to life, shouldn’t you be granting those same rights to the lives of the children of others? Shouldn’t we be fighting for their rights since they can’t yet fight for themselves?” What the Church Says: CCC 1703, 2273, 2294 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “Pro-lifers aren’t really ‘pro-life.’ They’re simply ‘pro-birth.’ They don’t care about the quality of life of mother and child after the baby is born.” Pro-Life Response: “I’m really sorry this has been your experience, but I don’t think that’s true of all pro-lifers. In fact, I agree with you that mom and baby need help for much longer than just the nine months of pregnancy. Did you see this tweet and all the responses it got? A lot of people support moms in difficult situations!” What the Church Says: CCC 1435, 2208, Mt 25:31-46 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “There are already too many kids in the foster care system. And the system itself is rotten. It would be better for these children had they never been born.” Pro-Life Response: “I’m really concerned with children who find themselves in foster care. And I agree, the system really needs an overhaul. But that’s actually a totally different topic than abortion. People being in need is not a reason to deny life to totally different human beings. Especially since there is absolutely no shortage of parents who want to adopt newborns. I also know there are a lot of people who grew up within the foster care system who still think their lives are worth living, regardless of the hardships they’ve faced.” What the Church Says: CCC 1703 Pro-Choice Talking Point: “It’s the woman’s body, so it’s 100% her choice. No one can tell her what to do with her body.” Pro-Life Response: “Speaking anatomically, the baby is actually not a part of the mother’s body. In fact, a lesser known function of the placenta and the umbilical cord is to keep the circulatory system of mom and baby separate. If their blood were to intermingle, it would cause serious health problems for mom and baby. Thus, a better biological understanding of the placenta and the umbilical cord actually highlights that the baby is not a part of the mom, but a being that is 100% separate. Mom’s body is certainly affected by the pregnancy, but there is another body there that does not belong to her. I think that person has just as many rights as his or her mother.” What the Church Says: CCC 1703, 2294 Pro-Choice Talking Point: "I know several women who have had an abortion and they're glad they did." Pro-Life Response: “I am not assuming this is untrue. But I do question its validity long-term for these women. I’m not trying to take anything away from their personal voices, I’m just curious as to whether that will be the case for the remainder of their lives. There are many secular studies which show the negative effects abortion has on women psychologically, the most comprehensive of which concludes an 81% increase in mental health issues. And this seems to be true based on the women who have needed help in regards to healing because of the experience. For every woman who says she doesn't regret her abortion, there are others who say they do. Some of them are the strongest advocates against abortion now because of their past experience. Here are a couple of resources—both pro-life and pro-choice—that speak about the effects abortions have had on women. Obviously, pro-life sources highlight the negative effects, pro-choice groups downplay them. The important thing to notice, though, is that negative side effects are noted by both sides. What the Church Says: CCC 1756, 1768 The ¼ Ratio Success Rate Friends, don’t be pressured into thinking that the first conversation with a pro-choice friend has to cover every single point. In fact, you may not even do anything besides listen and agree with certain points during the first few conversations. Your pro-life arguments may have to wait for another time. In case your pro-choice friend happens to make a point that stumps you, don’t be afraid to ask, “Can we talk again after I’ve had time to think and study on this more?” It’s actually more beneficial if you can make this an ongoing occurrence and build a loving relationship with them. After all, “love never fails.” Get them to love you, and they’ll follow you anywhere.   Being Worthy Witnesses The most consistent thing we can do for the pro-life movement is to be a witness for truth. This means lovingly taking a stand for life. Speaking up for the unborn is vitally important. Each time I present pro-life arguments, I hear the words of St. Bernadette Soubirous, “My job is to inform, not to convince.” I do not expect to change anyone’s heart—I can’t do that. Only God can do that, and only if the individual is willing. My exchanges with people who are pro-choice should resemble the Parable of the Sower and the Seed. Only ¼ of the seeds scattered fell on good ground, took root, and bore fruit. Regardless, the sower sowed everywhere. So go scatter with love and care. [bctt tweet="What (Not) to Say to Your Pro-Choice Friends (+ Pro-Life Arguments that Actually Work) #BISblog //" username="grace_swap"] More Resources for Pro-Life Arguments that Actually Work What’s My Pro-Life Line? Secular Pro-Life Rachel’s Vineyard: Healing from Abortion Hope After Abortion: Project Rachel “I’m Personally Pro-Life, But…” (video) Radiance Foundation (founded by Ryan Bomberger, who was conceived in rape) “I am Not the Residue of the Rapist. I am the Resilience of my Birth Mom” (video) “It Is Never Necessary to Intentionally Kill a Fetal Human Being to Save a Woman’s Life”—Many Doctors’ Perspectives Pro-Life Management of Ectopic Pregnancy Twitter thread: “What have you personally done to support lower-income single mothers?” Silent No More (video testimonies of post-abortive mothers) This post contains affiliate links. Thank you so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

Moving has many advantages that are not easily recognizable when you see the long list of places we have lived. The closets get cleaned out more often, our wardrobes can face just about any weather condition, and our immediate family has spent lots of time together. If you have moved with young children, you know that your focus is necessarily trained squarely on making sure that they adjust to their new schools, make friends, and receive the accommodations needed in their classrooms. It is easier to adjust to a move with children in tow as you explore your new area with little curious companions who want to discover what makes your new town unique. Moving in middle age is lonely. A Tough Transition Without children to shepherd and act as a buffer, moving is drastically different. It is harder to make friends and get involved in a new parish. Where life had been consumed with caring for everyone around me, my husband now traveling more often, I discovered more hours in a day than I knew how to constructively fill. After the first few months of unpacking passed by, the time came to plug into the new community. I found a school nearby serving children who did not yet speak English fluently that needed extra "room mom help." Unfortunately, my college Spanish has not come back as quickly as I had hoped. Thankfully, the children and the teacher do not seem to mind. When You Can't Share Words When you can’t share words, your primary means of communication is smiling. Seeing the children laugh as they play, forgetting their big worries, I forget my worries, too. Their smiles are contagious and I always leave feeling better than when I arrive. Connecting is complicated. God created each and every one of us with the ability and desire to connect with other people. This becomes difficult when we are running too fast, paying more attention to what we don’t have in common, or are afraid of rejection. A smile forms bonds of connection. But we have the choice about whether to be the first to reach out or not. When we look into someone’s eyes and smile, we have the ability to acknowledge their dignity as a beloved child of God or ignore them altogether. We are often tempted to mask ourselves with a cloak of busy and rush through life with our eyes trained down. Life has become so very contentious and there are many people who dwell on the margins of society due to their age, their health, where they were born, their financial status, their mental condition, their criminal record, or their addictions. At times, it just feels safer to keep our eyes in our own business and go about our day. As an outsider, I knew what it was like to go an entire day without anyone looking me in the eye or acknowledging me. Thankfully, I also knew what it felt like to be an insider—someone who was deeply connected to a community, a family, and friends. And I knew how to bridge the gap. Something so small makes all the difference in the world. Smiling Invites Connection Seeing what a difference eye contact and a smile made with the children, I began to make eye contact and smile at other people I saw during the day. At Mass, I gave big smiles to everyone and held their gaze a little longer than before. I was intentional about slowing down and looking people in the eye in the grocery store instead of rushing through the produce section with my eyes looking for the next item on my list. It was awkward at first feeling like I was invading someone else’s personal space. But, the more that I smiled, the more natural it felt. Once I got over myself, I began to see that I was surrounded by lonely people who were starved for attention. God, through my little smile, let other people know, without words or drama, that they were seen, known, and loved. I could minister to others with my smile. I did not need authority, permission, or a special degree. The Ministry of Smiles The beautiful thing about the Ministry of Smiles is that we can each participate regardless of where we live and what our daily responsibilities might be. No training or special experience is necessary. All you need to do is take the time to look another person in the eye just one beat longer than usual and smile long enough for them to respond. God created us to smile and to respond to others when they smile. When we authentically smile, the kind of smile that causes our eyes to crinkle at the edges, we experience a cascade of positive sensory experiences. When you smile at someone, their body, again by God’s incredible plan, automatically responds by smiling as well. When they smile, they experience the same positive effects of their neurotransmitters that you felt. So, when you smile, you are giving the other person a gift. The most amazing part of all of this: it is all free. Your Smile is Priceless When you smile, you allow the Holy Spirit to make the love of Jesus known right where you are. He is present in your eyes, your smile, and in your laugh. Do not hoard this treasure for fear of how someone will respond. Remember the priceless value of your smile when you are out at the grocery, sitting quietly in your pew next to someone you don’t know, or when you notice the homeless woman on the street. Your ministry of smiles will impact people in ways you will never know this side of Heaven. Go make Him known in your smile. [bctt tweet="The Ministry of Smiles #BISblog //" via="no"] Katie Kibbe is the author of multiple Scripture Studies for Catholic women including The Spirit of Mary. She writes to encourage women to discover the small steps they can take to experience a vibrant faith, radiant hope, and the unfailing love of Jesus Christ in the midst of the chaos and crazy of everyday life. You can find out more about her here.

And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her by the Lord. // Luke 1:45 Happy Feast of the Visitation of the Blessed Virgin Mary! Thank you for these beautiful free wallpapers from Jazmin De Guzman. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Everyone can get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

The promising sunshine eased my nerves as my Uber dropped me off at the first Blessed is She retreat in 2016. Uncertain of what to expect, I was handed girly welcome swag accompanied with a flower crown to break the ice. As I signed in, I struck up conversation with a fellow blonde nurse with big framed glasses named Bridget. I would have never guessed the beautiful long term, cross country friendship that would follow. Finding Friends Can Be Hard... We agreed to sit together, as we both journeyed to the retreat alone. The morning was filled with prayerful exercises, conversations, praise and worship, and opportunities to socialize with the women at the retreat. ...This Made it Easier Our gift bags included prayer partner bracelets generously provided by My Saint My Hero. In turn, we were challenged to adopt the role of “prayer partner” to someone sitting near us. Without question, Bridget and I agreed to the role for one another, pledging to hold one another accountable in prayer past the highs of the retreat. We agreed to wear our prayer partner bracelets each day as a reminder of our commitment to pray for one another and to check on one another. We went on to share meals, absorb the truths that the Holy Spirit was speaking to our hearts, and soak in the palpable sisterhood within the room before the day came to an end. Prayer Partners Across the Country Our time away from Tempe grew longer and longer, but my friendship with Bridget was only beginning. We spoke nearly weekly, sharing our struggles, our discoveries, and the fruits of our lives. Little did we know, God placed us in one another’s paths right when we needed it. Bridget served as one of my greatest supports as I was faced with single motherhood, and I watched the man of her dreams pursue her and ask her to spend their lives together. We have only met three times in person over the last three years, but we have witnessed seasons of change and growth that only lifelong friends experience. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY All it Takes is an Invitation I am forever grateful for the simple and beautiful prayer bracelets that united us at the Blessed is She retreat. They continue to serve as a symbol of our lifelong accountability and sisterhood. You don't have to wait to attend a Blessed is She retreat to find a prayer partner. Think of the women in your life, your community, your Blessed is She regional Facebook group. Ask the Lord to bring you someone who can be a spiritual friend to you. And then, reach out! Ask her if she'd like to commit to praying for one another and to holding each other accountable to prayer and a life of virtue. If it helps, send her a prayer partner bracelet and get a matching one for yourself to remember one another in prayer each day. This journey toward Heaven is much sweeter and lighter when we have soul-friends by our side. Most of the time, all it takes is an invitation. Don't be afraid to ask. Do you have a prayer partner in your life? Are you looking for one? Share this blog post on your social media feed and see if anyone would like to join you! [bctt tweet="The Power of Prayer Partners #BISblog //" via="no"] Jenny Vosbeek is a full time nurse residing in her beautiful home state of Colorado. She is one half of a dynamic duo, blessed to be the single mama to her nearly-two year old, Harper Lynn. You can find her enjoying craft beer, live music, hometown sports or a quality Netflix binge in her free time.

I’ve heard many times, whether it’s from my spiritual director, my mom, or my own conscience, that comparison is the thief of joy. It robs us of the joy of the present and leaves us feeling miserable and inadequate. It’s so true, especially when you’re a young, married Catholic, trying hard to live out your marriage as the Church calls us to, and while it seems like everyone else is having children, you’ve discerned that God is saying to you and your spouse, “Not yet.” Scroll through Facebook or Instagram—sometimes it seems like everyone is having babies. It seems like I hear a new announcement every few months or even weeks. I’m really happy for these couples, of course! But as I’m scrolling, I sense the ugly feeling of comparison seep in and begin to drag my soul down. Not only comparison, but pressure. Pressure to start a family now even though my husband and I have carefully discerned our reasons to wait. Pressure to be like everyone else. Not Pregnant Yet? Not long ago I ran into someone I hadn’t spoken to in several years. They knew I’d gotten married in 2017 and the very first thing they said upon seeing me wasn’t, “Hello!” or “It’s good to see you!” but rather, “What?! You’re not pregnant yet? No baby? Why not!?” It made the pressure to be like everyone else increase double-fold. Perhaps it was my own insecurity, this person’s inordinate interest in my fertility, or a little of both. But I struggled not to give in to the temptation to compare myself to my friends and acquaintances who were having children. "Why aren’t we having babies like everyone else? What are we doing wrong? Is there something wrong with me?" It’s taken me awhile to realize this, but if you are married, Catholic, and currently childless because you and your spouse have prayerfully discerned that it is prudent to try to avoid conceiving for the time being and you are following Church teaching and being open to life, you aren't doing anything wrong. You deserve to embrace the peace and joy that comes with wholehearted, prayerful discernment. Humanae Vitae and Serious Reasons The Church calls us to be open to life in marriage. This means that spouses must make a full, total, faithful, and fruitful gift of themselves in their marriage, without the use of contraception or methods that would render the marital act not open to life. This doesn’t mean that the Church mandates that we have a child as soon as possible after getting married if we prayerfully discern we have serious reasons not to. The very first sentence of Humanae Vitae reads, “The transmission of human life is a most serious role in which married people collaborate freely and responsibly with God the Creator.” Something of such great magnitude requires a couples’ complete cooperation with God, as well as prudence. Pope Paul VI continues to elaborate on what he calls “responsible parenthood,” which, “... is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time” (HV10). The Church calls us to prudence, and at the same time intentionally does not specifically list what qualifies as a “serious reason” for a couple to abstain from sex on days of fertility in order to avoid conceiving. It would seem that this is because the Church wants us to cooperate with God in our discernment. To constantly ask Him what He wants for us and for our fertility, while being realistic and prudent about the current situation in which we find ourselves. Something that may be a “serious reason” for one couple—be it living situation, mental or physical health, finances, job instability, etc.—may not be a “serious reason” for another couple to avoid a pregnancy. Being Open to Life Discerning, in concert with God, when to have a child is not a process to be taken lightly. In my own experience, discerning this and being open to life means my husband and I are constantly praying for guidance on what God wants for us. It means frequently re-evaluating where we’re at in terms of our discernment, and whether we feel our reasons for postponing having a child are still legitimate in light of our prayer. I’ve learned that being open to life means asking God what He wants for us, and being open to His answer, even if His answer is “not yet.” Despite the fact that my husband and I constantly pray about when to start our family, that we are “open to life” in our marriage, and that we firmly believe that God is still gently saying “not yet,” seeing so many other people our age having kids and hearing the probing questions of acquaintances who may mean well still makes the temptations to comparison arise. Fighting Comparison with Gratitude I know I’m not the only Catholic woman to feel this way. I’ve spoken to a number of women—single, engaged, and married—who struggle with the temptation to compare themselves to others. They feel inadequate or guilty because they are not yet married with a child, even though they may be very happy with their current state in life. Granted, we can experience the temptation to compare ourselves to others in many other facets—career, physical appearance, possessions, etc.—but perhaps because one’s vocation is so deeply personal and so intimately bound up in our identity as women, this comparing ourselves to others in terms of marriage and family cuts deeper and more profoundly. The best way to turn this temptation on its head and send it running, though, is with gratitude. Spurning the temptation to compare ourselves by focusing more intently on gratitude will help us to embrace the peace and joy found in prayerful discernment. How to Focus on Gratitude How can we focus more on gratitude and less on what everyone else is doing? Start by removing the things that tend to make you compare yourself to others. Sometimes an intrusive question or rude comment can make us feel inadequate, but many of the things that generate temptation in our lives can be rooted out or at least mitigated. The main one I’m thinking of is social media. You don’t have to “unfriend” your friends. But I’ve found that being aware of how much time I spend scrolling mindlessly, and making an effort to cast it aside when I feel myself beginning to wonder, “Why am I not like so-and-so?” really helps my focus stay on my own discernment and what God is doing in my life. Focusing more intently on your own discernment by beefing up your prayer life, especially with your spouse, also fosters gratitude for one’s own state in life. This doesn’t mean we should pray harder in order to get a different answer from God if we don’t like the one He’s giving us. But rather, it looks more like becoming so engrossed in what God is doing every second of the day in my own life that I don’t have the time, energy, or desire to look at someone else’s life and see how it matches up with my own. There is a Time for Everything If you and your spouse are abiding by Church teaching on being open to life and at the same time have prayerfully discerned that now is not the time to have a child—no matter the number of friends and acquaintances who have babies and no matter the odd, probing questions you get from family and friends—embrace the peace of knowing you are sincerely pursuing God’s will for your family. In following where prayer leads you, you aren’t doing something wrong. You aren’t behind. “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1). We aren’t called to live our current season of life comparing ourselves to others and feeling guilty that our lives don’t look like everyone else's. As one of my favorite Saints, St. Gianna Beretta Molla said, “Our task is to live holy the present moment.” [bctt tweet="Fighting Comparison with Gratitude: On Waiting to Have Kids #BISblog //" via="no"] Sarah Coffey is a freelance writer and copyeditor and also works for the Archdiocese of St. Louis. She and her husband, Jesse, both converted to Catholicism in college, and they reside in the St. Louis area with their cats, Stella and Cayden. You can learn more about her and read more of her writing here.

Lately my eye has been catching all of the trendy t-shirts women are wearing which read “Feminist” across the front. At first glance I find myself thinking, "What a cute shirt!” But within seconds my next thought is, “But, I could never wear that t-shirt, it would send too many mixed messages.” What’s a Girl to Do? Our current cultural portrayal of feminism demands that women fight for their “reproductive rights” and join in the women’s march if they're really feminists. Quite honestly, with all of this demanding and marching, it truly does seem like a fight. I sense that there are feelings of both anger and resentment in the women who display their participation in the cultural feminist movement. And unfortunately, they have some legitimate reasons to feel this way. But why, as a Catholic woman, do I feel like I can’t join in this mainstream movement proclaiming female empowerment, even though I believe in the feminine genius? Why do I feel like there is discord between what the popular culture is telling me to be angry about and what the Catholic Church teaches me about the topic of human dignity and personhood? Do I have to pick a side? What is authentic feminism after all? Feminism: A History Let’s start with a little history. The word “feminism” wasn’t used until the 19th century. The general goal of the movement is to help women flourish. Feminism can be thought of in three waves. The first wave began in the late 19th century with the goal of creating equal rights for both men and women, especially in terms of voting rights. The second wave began in the mid 20th century and its focus was on equal pay, sexual freedom, and various reproductive rights, like the right to have an abortion. The third wave, at the end of the 20th century, included racial, economic, and religious issues. Unfortunately, as Amanda Bambury points out on FemCatholic: When the sexual revolution hijacked the women’s movement, it warped feminism by basing it on a destructive and false premise: that women must become like men...in order to be equal.   So instead of women being fully themselves, they can only be equal if they are like men? Equal does not mean the same. And when did being male become the standard for being human? Doesn’t that tenet of feminism sound like a movement which is more anti-women than truly for authentic womanhood? Defining Feminism Feminism, according to Merriam-Webster, is “the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes” or “organized activity on behalf of women’s rights and interests”. Okay, so the dictionary connects feminism to social equality of the sexes. I’m all for that! On the matter of equality, the Catechism tells us that: Created in the image of the one God and equally endowed with rational souls, all men have the same nature and the same origin. Redeemed by the sacrifice of Christ, all are called to participate in the same divine beatitude: all therefore enjoy an equal dignity (1934).   Analyzing Expressions of Feminism Given what the Catechism teaches, I can’t disagree with Merriam-Webster’s definition of feminism. If, as it says, feminism is against exploitation and discrimination of women, then I can get behind that. Yet it is important to carefully analyze movements within the current cultural feminist movement in order to determine its legitimacy. John Paul II wrote to women, encouraging them to promote a “new feminism” which would highlight the feminine genius. He says to us in Evangelium Vitae, “You are called to bear witness to the meaning of genuine love, of that gift of self and of acceptance of others.” So, when analyzing a specific type of feminism, ask yourself if it serves the common good. If it does, is it in accord with Catholic teaching? Does it promote the wellbeing of all persons, from conception to natural death? What Do Female Saints Say about Feminism? St. Edith Stein, also known as St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross, wrote that “the strength of woman lies in the emotional life.” The emotional life? If you read that line like I initially did, it can sound like she’s saying our strength is actually a weakness. I don’t exactly equate feeling emotional with feeling strong. But then again, when I allow myself the time to sit with my emotions and acknowledge that my feelings are valid, I do find strength in sharing these feelings with others. St. Edith Stein goes on to show how it is the emotional life that instills in women the desire to love, “a longing to give love and to receive love, and in this respect a yearning to be raised above a narrow, day-to-day existence into a realm of higher being...and furthers the desire for perfection in others.” This desire to love comes from women’s innate maternal instinct. An instinct that drives us to protect and nurture. Nothing weak about that. Our emotions are connected to love, and love aids us in our yearning to serve the common good. And who loved most? The Blessed Mother. The Feminism of Our Lady St. Hildegard of Bingen (one of the four female Doctors of the Church) wrote, “Because a woman [Eve] brought death a bright Maiden overcame it, and so the highest blessing in all of creation lies in the form of a woman, since God has become a man in a sweet and blessed Virgin.” St. Hildegard points to Mary as being the greatest feminist. When asking my friend about how she viewed feminism, she too pointed to Mary as a true feminist. She said: I believe it began with Eve, as she was created to nurture and love in a way that comes naturally in many different forms for women. But this was fully restored in Mary after the Fall. Mary’s yes alone began this movement. It was not only a yes to salvation. It was a yes to how we as women give totally of ourselves. Feminism is having a strength in our weakness. It is holding onto something for a greater good—even if it has nothing to do with us. We are incredibly strong humans who have been created to live out this Heart of the Creator.   But What Does this Authentic Feminism Look Like? The Founder of FemCatholic, Samantha Povlock, wrote a letter titled Catholic Feminism Is a Call, Not a Contradiction. She offers great insights for those of us who struggle with the idea of being a perfect model of Mary. She says, “I struggled to reconcile my boldness with the quiet, docile picture of Mary that every song at church seemed to paint.” Then, she learned of Mary’s bold heart, of her “Mama Bear” instinct which is fierce and obedient. Through Mary’s obedience, her power shines forth and the devil cowers. This means that we, as women, need to be attentive to the emotions in our heart. We need to listen to the Lord’s voice and His call for our life. In turn, we rise forth in holy boldness and obedience, living our lives in a way that promotes equal dignity among all. Our call is to be maternal in this world, in all its beautiful expressions. Jesus is for this Authentic Feminism Feminism, in light of what the Catechism teaches us about equality, makes Jesus a feminist, too. He made His mother the mother of the Church. He gives her to us with the hope that we will learn from her virtue and her heart. This being said, I do think that Catholic women can be feminists. However, we must be careful to practice the “new feminism” that Pope St. John Paul II speaks of, not immerse ourselves wholeheartedly into the modern culture’s idea of feminism. How We Can Work Together, and How We Differ There are some areas where modern feminists and the feminists that JPII speak of can agree and work together. For example, we can all agree on the importance of equal pay and opportunity for women and rooting out the abusive behavior that has been exposed in the #metoo movement. But when it comes to belittling men in general in the process of celebrating women, or the pro-abortion movement—which rejects fertility and motherhood and consents to racism and ableism—we need to part ways. In the words of C.S. Lewis, have “courage, dear heart.” Do not be afraid to let Mary be your guide in sharing your maternity with the world, in whatever form that takes. How do you live out your feminine genius and work for authentic feminism? [bctt tweet="What is Authentic Feminism? #BISblog //" via="no"]

If there’s one word I’d use to describe Mary Lenaburg’s writing, it would be “free.” In her social media presence, in her devotions, she is authentic, honest, unafraid of the dark places in life, and totally committed to embracing and living in the light. So it is with her new book, Be Brave in the Scared: How I Learned to Trust God in the Most Difficult Days of My Life. That freedom is real and it is attractive, but it didn’t come easily. In her book—which I would have read in one sitting, had I not been on a train that had reached its destination—she freely shares the ways she struggled to surrender herself and her family to Our Lord. In doing so, she shows us both her remarkable courage and the truth and beauty of God’s unconditional, merciful, ever-present love. Mary's Most Difficult Days I first learned of Mary when her daughter, Courtney Elizabeth, was in the final days of her life. Courtney was severely disabled, and a large online community came together in myriad ways to support the Lenaburg family through those last days of December 2014 and the weeks beyond. While Mary’s journey as Courtney’s mother would be enough to fill the pages of a book or six, her story reaches deeper and falls harder than that. Our Desire to Control Like so many of us, Mary struggled for years with wanting control over her life. She had good intentions and beautiful dreams, but at the same time, didn't want to entrust them to Go, for fear that His plans might look different than hers (and of course, they did). This review won’t contain spoilers, but let’s just say, piece by piece, Mary’s world crumbled around her. The “difficult days” referred to in the title are not just those days before Courtney drew her last breath on earth, but the years before that when her marriage was in a dark place and her family life looked nothing like she thought it would or should. And yet, through extraordinary graces, Mary’s family has become an incredible inspiration to the thousands of people who have heard her speak, read her work, and I’m sure, those who know her in real life (I’m hoping one day to be part of that last group). In Mary’s own words (and my emphasis): It is hard to stop fighting and surrender everything to God, even when we know that it is for the best. We still want to be in control and have God solve things our way. We are afraid that if we surrender to God, he is going to lead us down a path we don’t like, don’t understand, or don’t feel confident we can take to complete the journey. But what we forget is that we are never on that journey alone; God is always with us. And God is a much better companion than our fears.   Letting Go of Fear Mary didn’t like the path she was on. She didn’t understand it. And at times she didn’t feel confident she could take it. But little by little, she allowed God to strip away her fears, her doubts, and her sins. Little by little, she let Him in to heal her, to reshape her, to use her to make something new. This woman’s story is extraordinary. This woman is extraordinary. And that’s because she points to our extraordinary God. If you ever find yourself doubting that God is still moving on this earth, that He loves each of us even in dark moments and sin and hurt, turn to Mary’s book. It is a true glory story, where the praise and honor goes to our Father. It All Comes Down to Trust The message is one we’ve heard before: trust God. He has better plans for you than you have for yourself. He loves you no matter what. But sometimes those things can be tough to take in, difficult to put into daily living. Sometimes—as Jesus well knew—it takes a story to open our minds and hearts to the reality of God’s love. Mary falls hard, but that’s what makes it possible for it to rise so high, to shine so brightly. Jesus told His disciples, “If you remain in my word, you will truly be my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:31-32). Thank God for the Lenaburgs’ witness to God’s mercy and forgiveness. Sweet Courtney Elizabeth, pray for us! Have you read this book yet? Let us know what you thought in the comments! [bctt tweet="BIS Reads: Be Brave in the Scared #BISblog //" via="no"] Lindsay Schlegel is a daughter of God who seeks to encourage, inspire, and lift up the contemporary woman to be all she was created to be. She's the author of Don't Forget to Say Thank You: And Other Parenting Lessons That Brought Me Closer to God, as well as shorter nonfiction and fiction pieces, both online and in print. With joy, she speaks about recognizing God's voice and living the truth therein. Lindsay lives in New Jersey with her high-school-sweetheart-turned-husband and their kids. You can find out more about her here. This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting Blessed is She!

As I was writing this post, I told my husband what I was researching: how one becomes a Doctor of the Church, which Saints are considered Doctors of the Church, and so on. To which he responded, “That’s easy. Go to med school. Be Catholic. Be female.” To which I rolled my eyes and opened Google. Because in reality, one of the reasons I wanted to write about the female Doctors of the Church is because I was completely in the dark on this topic! I’ve heard this term a lot, but had no clue what it means or who it refers to. So if you’re like me, and are curious about what exactly the term “Doctor of the Church” means, and especially which female Saints have been bestowed this title—read on! What is a Doctor of the Church? The term “Doctor of the Church” is a special and specific title bestowed on certain Saints who are deemed to have contributed significantly to the life of the Church, through understanding of Sacred Scripture and development of official Church doctrine. The Church began doling out this title in the 13th century. The term “doctor” stems from the Latin word docere, meaning “to teach.” Each Doctor of the Church exhibited inspiring personal holiness during their life, had a deep understanding of what it means to truly live the Christian life, and contributed to the theology and philosophy of the Church through their writings and teachings. There are currently 36 Doctors of the Church. While no one knows exactly how many canonized Saints there are (estimates place the number at over 10,000), the fact that there are only 36 Doctors makes them especially significant and worthy of our study and intercession! How One Becomes a Doctor of the Church The process to become a Doctor of the Church is pretty straightforward. First of all, a person must be canonized a Saint, which is an entirely separate process from being deemed a Doctor of the Church. Once a person is canonized a Saint, any of the faithful can recommend them to be recognized as a Doctor. First, the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith determines the veracity and theological soundness of the Saint’s works. This council is looking for three main qualities: Holiness that sets them apart, even from other Saints Depth of doctrinal insight An extensive body of work which upholds and contributes to Catholic Church teaching If the above criteria are met, the Saint is recommended to the Congregation for the Causes of Saints that presents possible cases to the Pope. The Holy Father ultimately bestows the title of Doctor of the Church on the Saints deemed worthy of the title. Who are the Female Doctors of the Church? Of the 36 current Doctors of the Church, four are female. These four women are considered some of the most influential women from the entire 2,000 year history of the Church. Known for their holiness, their writing, and the incredible impact they’ve had on the faithful around the world, these women are definitely on the Saints All-Star Team! St. Teresa of Avila Born in 1515 in Avila, Spain, Teresa eventually became a Carmelite nun. She worked alongside St. John of the Cross (another Doctor of the Church) to reform the Carmelite order and return it to a life dedicated to contemplative prayer. She received a lot of criticism and persecution from the Church for her reformation efforts, which was hard for her to bear. She was also a mystic and contributed many spiritual writings that continue to inspire people today, including her most notable, The Interior Castle. She was declared a Doctor of the Church in 1970. St. Catherine of Siena Color me shocked to learn that this particular Doctor of the Church was, in fact, a layperson, not a religious sister! Catherine of Siena was born in Siena, Italy in 1343 and dedicated herself to God at a young age. She refused to get married, and lived with her parents in a cell-like room (similar to those occupied by nuns). As a “Third Order Dominican,” St. Catherine was dedicated to prayer but also active in the outside world (unlike nuns, who are cloistered). St. Catherine is credited with convincing Pope Gregory XI to return the papacy to Rome from Avignon, where he lived. She was declared a Doctor of the Church in 1970. St. Therese of Lisieux Born in France in 1873, Therese is described by her mother as being a stubborn and feisty young girl. After a conversion at the age of 13, Therese became determined to enter the Carmelite order, but her bishop would not allow it. Undeterred, Therese petitioned Pope Leo XIII for permission. Her request was granted, and she entered life as a religious sister at age 15. Her life was dedicated to her “little way” of holiness - a way of serving Jesus by doing small acts of love. Although she lived a life hidden from the world until her death at age 24, her spiritual autobiography Story of Soul became a bestseller after her death. She continues to inspires others to take on and live out her “little way.” She was declared a Doctor of the Church in 1997. St. Hildegard of Bingen St. Hildegard was born in Germany in 1098. Experiencing mystical visions from a young age, she joined a Benedictine order and became a superior. Described by Saint John Paul II as a “light for her people and her time,” her life and writings were highly influential to the church. Pope Benedict XVI, who declared her a Doctor of the Church in 2015, outlined his reasons for bestowing the title in this letter. The Female Doctors of the Church are Our Examples and Intercessors When it comes to getting to know the Saints, these four women are a great place to start. By their title as Doctors of the Church, they are the highest examples of sainthood and personal holiness. Their writings and teachings continue to inspire the faithful, centuries after their lives and deaths. They are some of the most powerful intercessors we have in Heaven! May these strong, smart, humble and holy women inspire us to pursue Christ above all, to dedicate ourselves to prayer and penance, to draw closer to our Father through total abandonment to His will. St. Teresa of Avila, pray for us! St. Catherine of Siena, pray for us! St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us! St. Hildegard of Bingen, pray for us! If you'd like more resources about these female Doctors of the Church, here's a full list! [bctt tweet="The Female Doctors of the Church #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase by clicking through one of these links, Blessed is She will receive a small percentage of your purchase at no additional cost to you. Thank you for supporting this ministry by using our affiliate links!